Evan's voice echoed in my head or was it really echoing?
"What the hell is going on?" He'd said.
Well what did it fucking look like? I wanted to say that but I couldn't really speak past the pain, but slowly, my mind was becoming numb to the feeling, just like before.
The boy didn't speak, and from the shift in the atmosphere I could almost tell he was smiling. I could hear his footsteps making their way back to me. His hand gripped my short hair and yanked me up by it as I tried to breath from the newfound aching in my scalp.
I winced and closed my eyes tightly before opening them. I saw two of everything before I blinked and everything merged slowly back together. I saw Evan standing by the door; he was actually leaning against the door like it was the most casual thing. How much I wanted to slap that emotionless and unreadable look off his damn face.
The boy stared at me and I glared back. I swallowed hard before I spoke my last words again with much difficulty, between harsh and struggled breathing.
"Go... fuck... yourself." I gasped out the last word but still I had gotten it out and I felt kind of proud of myself.
That is until he punched me in the stomach again while dropping me to the ground. I landed on all floors as I choked up something it came out like vomit. A small pond of blood stared at me dripped from my open mouth. I'm sure that was bad thing as I tried to swallow as panic began to flood me and tears blurred my vision.
My shoulders shook as I sobbed at the sight of how terrible I was. Then that little voice said something in my mind.
You're being weak, Kylie.
I was, crying and making myself look needy. I crawled away from the blood and gripped the edge of the sink and struggled to pull myself to my feet. I was halfway up when the boy was gripping my hair again, much harder than before and I held back a scream.
Instinctively my hands went up, clawing at his wrist. When that didn't work I used all my energy to turn sharply and kicking blindly. I made contact with hard bone and I heard a groan and he let go of my hair. I dropped to my knees, gripping my mid section that was burning with pain.
I couldn't think straight; I couldn't remember how to work my body. Why was this happening to me? How do you breath again? All the blood left in me rushed up to my ears and my heart pounded hard against my chest, hurting even my skeleton. I couldn't breath without a sharp pain coming from my stomach and I clenched it, trying to make the pain go away. The boy next to me stopped grunting.
He spoke to Evan, ignoring me, "Your bitch been getting on my damn nerves. She's a loyal whore, this one is. Why would you risk something like this Evan? You're too smart to make such a stupid mistake. To actually think you'll get away with a spy, it doesn't work like that."
"She's not a bitch. She's not a whore. She's not a spy. I don't know her." Evan said, his voice sharp yet it had no emotion behind it. The sound made a icy shiver go down my back.
"I don't believe you, Evan. We knew you were going to get out of line soon. We'll make sure to deal with this little bitch and get on to more important business. You're going to owe us for the rest of your petty life, Evan." The boy said, walking past me before turning around and crouching in front of me. I found the energy somewhere to glare at him even though I was already useless.
He smirked and said, "We'll finish you off later, in a more private place. Just you wait. We'll be way more fun with you than Evan ever can be."
The disgusted words made goose-bumps form on my arms.
I spitted the words at him, "Fuck yourself, asswipe."
Then I did the most disgusting thing I could think to do. I spit on his cheek, my aim not great but not bad. Instantly he slapped me, the stinging in my cheek growing afterwards. I glared at me and even managed to smirk at him, his face twisted in disgust. He rose and wiped the spit of his cheek, my weak smile dropped with the pain hissing from my body.
"You better teach your bitch some manners or she won't last long." The boy said.
"Get out of here Dalton. Before I kick your ass." Evan said, his voice colder than I ever heard it. I think it could get even colder though.
Dalton left out the boy's bathroom and someone was just about to walk in when Evan said, "Not yet. Continue guarding."
The person backed off, but not before their light grey eyes met mines. Was that? Ryan? I struggled with the pain in my body and trying to think properly. I had managed to find some sort of way to breathe but each breath made my stomach shout and scream as loud as I wanted to.
Evan walked over and held out his hand, his eyes in a faraway place as he stared at me. I shook my head as I wrapped my arms tightly around my stomach.
My voice was strained as tears appeared from the dark again. "I can't move."
Evan snapped out of it and stared at me with softness in his eyes I've never seen before. He walked towards the napkins, yanking out a lot of them before coming and sitting in front of me, cross-legged. He held the napkins out at me and I stared at them, the tears flowing freely down my cheeks but I didn't make a sound. I couldn't. It'll hurt too much.
Noticing that I wasn't going to move my arms at all, Evan inched closer, sitting a little on the borderline of my personal space. He dabbed the napkins at my wet cheeks and at my eyes until I was dry and then placed another napkin in front of my nose and I blew loudly.
After a while, he sat back and stared at me. That softness still in his eyes when he said, "I'm sorry."
I stared at him before looking down. "For what?" My voice raspy and scratching my own throat.
I heard him sign. "For all this. For what's been happening to you because you talked to me."
In respond, I shrugged and it made me wince from stretching my mid section to do so. Silence followed as Evan stood and started cleaning up my blood from the ground. I flinched at the sight and the smell of metal and copper when it hit my nose.
After cleaning he said, "You have to get up."
I shook my head. "I can't."
"Kylie, you have to get out the boy's bathroom and get to the nurse." Evan stated dully as if I was a simple baby that needed guidance.
My vision blurred as my mind told me all the pain I was going to feel with the slightest movement.
"I can't move, Evan. It hurts too much."
Silence before he spoke again, his voice all soft instead of that flat and emotionless voice. "Kylie, I'm really sorry about this. But I need you to get up."
I sniffed and took my arms from around my midsection. Slowly, removing my hand from the bruise on my arm and Evan interrupted my process by crouching to face level with me. He wrapped his hand around my injured arm and I yanked it away from him. He looked me in the eye and then reached out his hand again, my arm inched away and Evan's hand stopped.
He continued to look me right in the eye and I don't know what was going through my mind, I was feeling too much. Anger, sadness, panic, and pain. Too much it was going so into my body at the same time that I was starting to block out everything. I wanted it all to go away.
Why was this happening to me? Why now? My life was terrible. I thought things were going to change, that things would be different. But if anything they were worst.
It felt like I was drowning in a black darkness and I couldn't see the surface. I was dying inside of my own self. That is until Evan's gentle hand wrapped around my injured arm and it was like something woke me up, the darkness disappearing slowly. I bit on my bottom lip as he took his eyes off mines and I turned my head away, staring blankly at the line of grey stalls as tears fell again.
My arm stung when he pressed his thumb lightly on the bruise and instinctively my arm yanked away from the touch and I winced at the same time. I don't like being weak in front of people though; it made me feel weak and useless. Stupid and vulnerable, but I couldn't help it. At times like this, I was really just like any other girl.
He spoke silently to me, almost at a whisper. "I'm really sorry, Kylie."
I shook my head, biting my bottom lip so hard the skin was ripping. He took my other hand and said, "Let's try this, Kylie."
I nodded as tears fell. He gripped my hand so tight it was turning white and beginning to throb like the rest of my body. I used his strength to start standing. I had raised my knee and there it was, the burning pain the made my vision go white and a scream managed to escape and quickly, I covered my mouth as I pushed up off my left foot, until I was standing. I think the hand thing had switched, I was gripping Evan's hand so hard his hand looked like it didn't even belong to him with it's whiteness.
He didn't complain though as he said, "Can you walk."
I didn't respond, I didn't move. Because I couldn't really breathe, the whiteness in my vision fading but it jarred the edges of what I could see. I bit on my bottom lip again and took a step forward, my stomach disagreeing harshly with the movement and I titled forward until Evan's strong arm went around my waist. But as soon as his hand pressed into my midsection I screamed so loud I think my brain might have jumped and escaped to Hawaii.
He let go instantly but the aching pain didn't go away, not as quick as I wanted it too. I gripped the sink to keep myself straight and Evan's hand but it really wasn't helping the agony I was feeling.
I felt Evan's cool hand on the edge of my shirt. I couldn't even turn my head to look at him, my mind in shock. I couldn't think, I couldn't move. I concentrated on trying to breathe and not busting out screaming from the pain. I felt my shirt being lifted up and then silence, my stomach exposed to cold air it suddenly felt good and I signed in relief. But almost too soon the coldness left and it was back stinging again.
I heard Evan saying something, "This is bad. This is really bad."
"Is it that serious?" I asked, my voice straining as I titled my head to look down, but Evan's free hand pressed against my eyes quickly, blocking my view.
I heard him speak again. "Don't look. Whatever you do, just don't look. I'm serious, Kylie."
My heart skipped a beat and I stuttered with my next words. "Evan, you're seriously scaring me. What's going on? What's freaking wrong?"
His hand was still blocking my view as I felt my shirt being pulled back down. "I think it'll be best if I carry you."
I didn't have the energy to even push the topic anymore. I was tired and in so much pain, it just didn't matter anymore. I felt someone's hand going underneath my kneecaps and another around my neck and suddenly, I was off my tingling feet and I was floating. Even though I knew Evan was actually carrying me, it felt like floating. My head leaned against Evan's chest, the sound of his healthy heart pounded it's own rhythm into my ears and I drifted along with it.
Focusing on that instead of the pain coming from my midsection, causing me to clenched to Evan's shirt. It hurt so much. I wanted the pain to go away. I just wanted to go away along with it too. And then for the first time, I forced myself into the unwelcoming darkness in my mind.