My fists are shaking, but it's different this time. It's just rage, making my heart beating faster, harder and all my limbs trembling to contain that. I want to go back there and demand her to fix all this, to stop this show and just turn herself in. She crossed all the boundaries and she has to pay. I don't want to hurt her, because that means being like her, but I want her to stop.
"What do we do?" I turn to face Nora, not trusting my mind right now. I'm too emotional, too unstable to make a sensible decision. If I do what I want, I'll probably get in trouble.
One thing I've learnt from watching my father duel in the world of business is that a good lawyer can do anything. If you have a good lawyer, even if you have evidence against the criminal, this can still be sent free and declared not-guilty. A lawyer can twist everything and save even a murderer.
Laura has power now, she has good lawyers and if I just go to her I can just make a fool of myself. I can't act rashly, I need to be careful. That's why I'm here, for starters, hiding instead of going there. I need to be careful, protect myself.
"I don't know. I need to call Mum and talk to her, but for sure I know we have to stay here for now and keep you safe. If a body showed up, then it means they need to kill you for sure. You can't be alive if there's a body in the morgue with your name."
Hearing her saying that makes me sick to the stomach and I think I'm going to throw up for real this time. I have to release her hand and cover my mouth with it.
"Someone is looking for you and I'm sure if you get close home, they'll be waiting for you. They might've done this to lure you back and attack then. So we need to be extra careful. Keeping you alive is the most important thing."
I nod my head, feeling my shoulders too heavy with all this. She's right, this could be a trap to make me come out and get rid of me for ever, before anyone sees me. Laura—because I'm sure she's behind this—bought the police, the morgue and who knows who else. It's not just a person after me, and that's bloody terrifying. It's like a hunt and I'm the prey.
"What about my family?" I whisper feebly.
"I doubt we can tell them you're all right. They surely are under surveillance, knowing you'd want to contact them to let them know you're okay."
"Why is it all so hard?" I whine, covering my face with a hand, feeling so tired. I feel so trapped, like I can't move without fearing someone will find me and shoot me. It's such a small cage and it's asphyxiating me.
"I'm sorry, Blanca." Her voice is sympathetic and so worried. "But we need to protect you and be careful about this. Will is right, if we want them to face justice, we need to do this well. Figure out our plan and collect solid evidence that can't be refuted."
I sigh, because I know it's true. I wish it weren't like that, that like in movies you just needed to face the bad guy and ruin their plans. But life is not a film, there's so much bureaucracy, especially for all legal things.
No wonder why Laura wanted me dead. It's easier that fighting legally for a bit more of power. It's faster.
"I'll go call Mum now, you stay here." I nod my head, but I can't look up at her or anything else right now. "Please, look after her."
I know she's not telling me that so she must be talking to Will. I don't hear his reply, but I do hear Nora standing up and leaving my side to walk out of the kitchen, probably heading somewhere more private. Then there's weight on the bench and someone next to me.
I sigh, dreading the moment Will asks me how I'm doing, because what else can he do? What do you say in a situation like this? But instead of asking anything, he pats my head, lightly, his hand sliding down my hair and I freeze.
Finally, the weight of realising what happened sinks in, and I don't mean all this about my death and Laura, I mean what happened with Will.
I uncover my face and look up to meet his eyes that are watching me carefully, sympathetically. My heart twists in shame and embarrassment, heat spreading to my cheeks. I leaned on him, I cried on his shoulder, I allowed him to hold me when I broke down. Him. Will. The dirty hippy. Public Enemy nº1. Guillermo. He was the one to made me pull myself together when I couldn't see pass anything.
I can't even swallow the lump in my throat.
"Wh-why..." I can't finish my sentence.
I don't understand this. Okay, I leaned on him but in my defence, I wasn't even thinking. It could've been anyone, I barely saw him. But why on Earth did he do that? He wasn't freaking out like I was, he knew it was me, then why was he helping me? He hates me. He despises me and everything I represent, then why did he help me?
"Why are you helping me?" I finally ask, finding my voice, watching him suspiciously.
"Because you are breaking down," he replies as if that explained it all. "How can I turn my back on someone who needs help?"
I take a sharp breath, still watching him. He doesn't break the eye contact although his hand falls, and I miss the comforting gesture but I don't do anything, I just stare at him, not knowing how to feel about this.
"I fail at understanding how hard this is for you, how it must feel for you. I try to, but I can't fully imagine it," he continues. It's the first time he ever looks at me like that, without hatred or any sort of resentment, without prejudice. His eyes are open and honestly apologetic. "The horror of what you went through, how it still torments you and the fear you live in. I can't understand that."
I look away because I just can't keep the eye contact when he's saying that. I have to suppress the shivers and the flashbacks in my head, I have to block the thoughts and fears that consume me because I'm too weak to have another panic attack.
"I'm sorry," he apologises and that makes me snap to look at him again. Why is he apologising now? He hasn't done anything bad. "I keep making things harder for you and I say things that only trigger you. I don't mean it, I truly don't, but I guess I don't care enough to mind my words."
That he says it like that actually hurts.
"And I'm apologising for that. For being so careless and thoughtless."
I blink, not understanding quite well what's happening. I appreciate his words, but they make me wary. This is not Will, he doesn't care about my pain or my struggles. Why would he if I represent what he is fighting against? I'm the big monster he needs to defeat. So the fact he's acting like this is suspicious and makes me pull back unconsciously.
"What are you planning?" I am living under constant attack, I can't lower my walls and become even more vulnerable.
"Nothing. I've just realised I've been acting wrong and I'm sorry about it. I'm not saying I like you or your type, but I accept right now you're a girl going through too much. You don't need me making things even harder."
I squint my eyes. I'm too distraught to buy his words.
He sighs, understanding I don't believe him. "I'm just offering a truce. Nora is right, the priority is keeping you alive and helping you. Even if I think you're a horrible person, there are worse ones out there, hunting you. I dislike them even more and I'll help you take them down."
That does make more sense. When he was talking before it was almost as if he didn't hate me anymore, and that sudden change made me too wary and uneasy to believe him. But it makes sense, he's fighting a greater evil. Will doesn't see the enemy of his enemy as his friend, because he sees the world in good and evil. And within evil, there are greater ones and he needs to fight those first.
Priorities.
"Thank you," I mutter then, relaxing. "Not just for now but for before when I... for holding me. Thank you." I feel my cheeks burning in shame for having to say this, for acknowledging he helped me so much like that, but I can't not thank him for his support.
He only nods and smiles, in the way I've only seen him smiling at the kids. He has never smiled like that in front of me before, never given me one, and it leaves me unsettled, blinking confused.
I feel the awkwardness creeping in, wrapping around me, making all of my face hot with embarrassment. I relive how he held me so tightly, stopping me from going God-knows where. I just now start to fully realise Will hugged me and I allowed that.
I want to leave this room immediately, to cool myself down, but before I stand up, I hear Nora rushing next to me. She's holding her phone tightly and sits at my other side, so I focus completely on her, ignoring Will at the other side.
"Okay, I talked to Mum. She basically said what we already suspected," Nora informs. "You can't go back just yet, we don't have any solid evidence against Laura. If you go there just blaming it all on her, she will sue you for defamation and fraud. She will throw everything back at you."
Why are lawyers allowed to do that? How can they play the laws so well to turn the tables like that?
"What do I do then? Stay here?" I demand to know and she looks apologetic.
"Basically, yes. You need to stay hidden because you're being hunted, roughly speaking. We need evidence that she's behind and you can come back. You need to stay alive."
"But it's frustrating! I stay hidden and she becomes the CEO?" I rub my face with my good hand, growing more irritated.
"That can be changed. If we do this right, she'll not only have to step down, she'll end up in jail for attempted murder. But if we act recklessly, then everything can backfire on our faces."
I take deep breaths, leaning back. I don't even lose my balance, but a hand is on my back, stopping me from leaning too far and falling. I look at Will, surprised he's doing that, but he only smiles and makes me sit straight.
I have trouble focusing on Nora again, but she speaks and that helps.
"Mum is doing her best to gather the needed evidence, to bring her down and all the corruption in the company. We have to wait and keep you safe."
"I know," I accept, defeated. I hate just waiting, without being able to do anything to fix this.
"Besides, it's even better if you wait a bit more. The impact of your comeback will be bigger and the repercussion of her actions worse for herself."
The practicality behind that hurts me, so I have to look away.
"The moment we have enough to put her in jail, you can go back where you belong," she reassures me, and although those words should be comforting, they don't make me feel better.
"What about that girl who is believed to be me? What about that injustice?" She can't reply, and when I look at her I see the same guilt I'm feeling.
We're just looking after myself, to keep me safe and bring Laura down, but who cares about her? About what happened to her and shouldn't have? The police were bought to close this case, to help Laura, and they won't do anything to find the real identity of that girl. And we won't do anything.
"When you take care of Laura," Will speaks then, making Nora and I turn to watch him. "Then you can seek justice for her, too. But it's one step at the time."
His eyes are only on me, trying to encourage me, to move me to do the right thing, even if it feels so wrong. He's telling me to act intelligently instead of emotionally, and it's hard, but he convinces me. Somehow, he does and I end up nodding my head. His smile widens then and my heart throbs, so I turn to look at Nora again.
"Okay, we'll do that," I accept, resigned. "I just hope we don't have to wait too much."
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Okay! There you have chapter 20 (I can't believe we are already there :O) and here you have the game for the bonus content of this week: Get 555 votes for this chapter and as you do that, I'll write the bonus and post it. If you don't reach that by Friday, then it's just normal update.
Dedication to KeiraHarry
Bel, xx
~updates every Monday and Friday~