Sitting in the waiting room at the hospital was torturous. I didn't know how long it had been, but I knew that it had been a few hours. Not knowing what was wrong with Jesse was just killing me... They didn't tell me if he was dead or alive. I had no idea whether to be happy or to be sad. I just had no clue anymore.
And I hated being clueless.
"Stop freaking out," Erica ordered flatly from my right, not even looking up from the magazine that she was flipping through. "You're freaking out everyone else here. Just stop fidgeting and calm down."
"How am I supposed to calm down when Jesse's probably dead?" I demanded, my eyebrows furrowing at her in anger. "I can't just calm down when the love of my life just got shot because of me!"
"It wasn't your fault," she continued flatly, still not looking up at me. "Jesse was the one that dragged you into everything with Hunter, right? So it's his fault. Or it's just Hunter's fault. It isn't yours."
I pulled my knees up to my chin, not wanting to talk about it any longer. Erica didn't know what she was saying. She was filling me with false hope, saying that Jesse was alive. There was no way Jesse could have been alive...
"Dios mío... You really don't listen," Erica sighed when I started sobbing into my knees. She tossed the magazine back onto the table, turning toward me now. "You've gotta stop crying. It's not that big of a deal. I'm telling you, Jesse's probably gonna be fine."
I sniffed, wiping at my eyes to stop myself from crying any longer. I could tell it was annoying Erica, and I guessed that that wasn't something that I wanted to do.
"Do you still love him?" I found myself asking her quietly, my eyes widening when I realized what I had said. She had beaten me up over Jesse before! But I just had to open my big fat mouth...
I bit my tongue as I waited for her to answer me. She didn't seem angry, but then again she didn't seem to have any kind of emotion at all. She sat there almost like a statue, and that probably scared me even more.
"No."
I blinked, not expecting this to come from her mouth. I thought that she would say yes, and then she would start beating me up again right in the middle of the hospital waiting room in front of all these people. But she actually said that she didn't love Jesse anymore...
"You don't?" I had to ask now, still completely shocked. She didn't seem like the type of girl that just gave up on something... There had to be a good reason she didn't love Jesse anymore, right?
"I like someone else," she shrugged, as if it was absolutely no big deal at all. But it definitely was. Erica liked someone else? Did she mean that she loved someone else? As if reading my mind, she continued with, "And it's just like, not love."
"Who?" I questioned now, leaning closer to her. If she liked someone else, that meant she wasn't going to get in between Jesse and me anymore... If Jesse even survived. God, now I hoped he survived even more.
Erica let out an impatient sigh. "Dallas Berg."
I blinked at her. "Dallas? Cabin B's counselor?"
She nodded.
If I had found out that someone had liked Dallas four years ago, I would have been angry and jealous. But now, I couldn't help but smile as I pictured the two of them together. They really were a good match. They were both the same age, and they had the same job. They were perfect for each other!
I was going to speak, but Erica held up a hand to stop me. "Yeah, I know what you're thinking," she told me flatly. "You don't need to be all mushy about it. He still has feelings for you though, so I guess I'm out of luck."
"But Dallas knows that I don't like him anymore," I pointed out with a small smile, trying to get her more excited over the fact that she actually had a really good chance with him. "And he was at the graduation ceremony, so he knows about Jesse and me. You have a chance, Erica. You really do."
"Can you just go back to worrying about your boyfriend?" she snapped, her eyes narrowing at me.
I sunk back into my seat, growing silent now. She was right, I knew. I shouldn't have been worrying about her love life, I should have been worrying about my boyfriend's life. I had to stay focused on Jesse...
"Hey, Jordan," Erica sighed, and I was surprised that she hadn't called me by the nickname she had given me. "Do you remember what I said when we first met?"
My eyebrows pinched together in thought. She had said a lot of things when we first met. She had given us all derogatory nicknames and called me ugly. I couldn't really remember anything else...
"Remember when I said that I had a reason for being at the camp?" she continued on quietly, and I had to think about it for a few seconds before I finally remembered. I did remember Erica saying that when I had first met her. "Yeah, well... My reason was to get away from Hunter. But he found out where I was, so he followed me to Maine..."
"You're the reason why he was here?" I blinked in realization, not believing what I was hearing. So technically, everything was Erica's fault... But it wasn't like I was blaming her. She was just trying to get away from her crazy ex-boyfriend...
"If you're going to blame someone, don't blame yourself. Blame me," she practically whispered now.
"I don't blame you," I assured with a shake of my head. "It's not your fault that I had met Hunter. It was meant to be, I guess. And if Jesse really dies, it was meant to be as well. I'm the kind of person that believes that everything happens for a reason."
Erica chuckled quietly, wiping at her eyes gently. Erica was actually crying? I never thought I would see the day. "What an optimistic girl you are..."
I couldn't help but smile at her. "I've been told."
When her phone started to ring, she grabbed for it quickly so she wouldn't bother the rest of the people who were anxiously waiting in the waiting room. She looked down at the caller ID and her eyes widened.
"Oh, no..." she groaned, covering her eyes with her free hand. "It's Dallas. I forgot that all the counselors are supposed to be at the camp after every emergency. We're supposed to be with the kids in our cabins, which means your friends are probably terrified by themselves in the cabin..."
"Go," I insisted, waving her away toward the exit. "I'll be fine here by myself. It's safe here in the hospital, especially since Hunter isn't free anymore. I'll make sure to tell you everything I'm told."
Erica looked at me for a moment, as if thinking that leaving me here wasn't a good idea.
"You're supposed to be in the cabin with the rest of us, too. Just to make sure everyone is safe..." she informed me with a frown, turning her phone on silent when it started to ring again. "If you stay here, then what am I supposed to do?"
"Cover for me," I shrugged, getting more and more anxious as doctors passed me without a second glance. "Lie and say that I'm there, or tell them where I really am. It's not like I'm out on the streets or anything. I'm in a hospital, waiting to find out if my boyfriend it dead or not."
"I know, but I'm sure they're going to want you there more than anyone else," Erica murmured, crossing her arms over her chest as an elderly woman passed too close to her as she tried to walk by. "You're going to get questioned, I'm sure. And Jesse, if he survives. And anyone else who knew about Hunter..."
"Have them question Alex first," I pressed, waving her away once again. "He knew about Hunter. He was in the gang, too. Just go, Erica, before the girls freak out. They're probably talking about me anyway..."
Erica smiled ever so slightly. "Fine. I'll tell you what they say."
I nodded.
When she left, I let out a sigh and almost went limp in the chair I was sitting in. I looked around the waiting room to see people just as scared as I was, and I wondered why they were there. I didn't really think I wanted to find out, but I just couldn't stop wondering...
I shut my eyes, rubbing my hands over my face and letting out another sigh. I still couldn't believe that everything with Hunter was actually over. It seemed like it would just keep going on forever... But he had been caught, and there was no way he could have framed someone else for what he had done.
"Jordan?"
My eyes snapped open at the familiar voice, and they widened when I saw my three best friends standing in front of me. What were they doing here? Wasn't everyone supposed to be in their cabin?
"I know we're not supposed to be here," AJ sighed, as if reading my mind. She sat down on the table in front of me, not even bothering to take a chair. I knew she wanted to be right in front of me while we spoke to each other. "But we had to talk to you."
Chelsea and Lexi sat on either side of her, and I couldn't help but frown as I stared at the three of them. They were safe, and there wasn't anything that could put them into danger anymore, but I still didn't feel relieved yet.
"Guys, I wanted to tell you from the start, but I just couldn't," I murmured nervously, staring down at my lap so I wouldn't have to look up at them. "I was afraid that you'd hate me for going out with Jesse... and I was even more afraid that you guys would hate it so much that you'd want to get involved and try to break us up, and then you guys would somehow be found out by Hunter and then he'd hurt or kill you..."
"Jordan, it's okay," Lexi smiled, cutting me off before I could continue on rambling. "We understand why you couldn't tell us. Alex told me about how he used to be in that Hunter guy's gang, but then he said I should ask you for the rest of the story..."
"Alex and I are such good friends because we both had something to do with Hunter," I informed her quietly, playing with my hands as they now lay in my lap. "He is in my second period like we said he was, but he was in there before that and we didn't even acknowledge each other."
"So Hunter's name is Hunter and not Eric," Chelsea began, as if she was trying to sort everything out so it would make sense to her. "And he's the leader of a gang that both Jesse and Alex used to be in?"
All I could do was nod.
"But there's more to the story, right?" AJ asked, uncomfortably fidgeting just a little as she continued to sit on the table. "I mean, why was Hunter going after you and Jesse? And what did he mean when he said that he... uh... wanted you?"
I began to explain how Hunter had used to go out with Erica until she broke up with him for Jesse. I then told them about how Hunter wanted revenge on Jesse, but ended up obsessing over me as he tried to do so.
"He said that he was in love with me," I finished off, crossing my arms over my chest uncomfortably. "But I don't think someone like him is really capable of actually loving someone."
I didn't mention how the one thing Hunter really wanted was to be truly loved by someone, because I didn't want them to start feeling bad for him like I was. Even after everything he had done to the people I care about and me, I still felt bad for him. Because now, no one was ever going to love him like he wanted.
I would never admit it out loud or to anyone else, but I felt sorry for Hunter Drax. Because the one thing that he really, truly wanted was never going to come true.
He didn't want me, he didn't want Erica. He just wanted a girl that would love him for him, which wasn't either of us. I didn't think that would be anyone...
"I feel so horrible," Lexi sniffed, her eyes filling with tears immediately. "This entire time you were dealing with this and we didn't even know! We're such horrible friends!"
"You guys are great friends," I swallowed, not knowing what else I was supposed to say to assure them. "I had to hide it from you. I didn't want you guys to get involved! Lexi, he almost shot you. If it wasn't for Alex, he would have. If you guys got involved, all of you could have been shot."
"But you were almost shot," Chelsea countered back, her arms crossed over her chest as she continued to stare at me with those intense green eyes of hers. They always did pierce right through your soul... "If Jesse hadn't taken that bullet for you, you wouldn't be here. It's obvious he loves you more than anything."
"If only I realized it sooner," I grumbled under my breath, but none of them showed that they had even heard me.
"We can't hate Jesse after what he did for you," AJ smiled now, and I could tell she was trying to get the rest of us to be a little happier. "When we see him again, we'll apologize for being so mean to him."
I didn't have the heart to tell them that it was an if and not a when...
"You guys need to get back to the cabin," I said to them instead, staring down at my lap nervously now. "If Erica sees that you're gone, she'll be angry. She said that it was fine if I was here, but I know it won't be easy trying to hide four girls..."
"Okay," Chelsea smiled, standing up from the table before leaning over and hugging me tightly. AJ and Lexi quickly joined in, and I found myself holding in my tears and telling myself not to cry as we continued to stay in the group hug for a few more moments.
"We love you, Jordan," Lexi told me, wiping at her eyes with her thumb when they finally pulled away from me. "And we expect a full report when you get back to the camp."
I nodded at them. "Definitely."
The three of them gave me a small wave before heading toward the exit. I leaned back in my chair, letting out an impatient groan as I continued to wait. It had been hours... Why didn't I have any news on Jesse? Was that a good thing or a bad thing?
A beautiful woman with light brown hair suddenly burst into the waiting room, huffing and puffing as if she had been running. She quickly walked away from the door and plopped into the chair next to me, the one Erica had been sitting in only moments before.
The woman continued to breathe heavily, and I was kind of starting to worry. Why was she here? I wondered what had made her run here... She was a skinny woman who seemed to be in good shape, so the way she was breathing scared me just a little.
"Um... are you alright?" I had to ask, afraid that she was going to pass out or something. "I could get you water, if you want..."
"No," the woman swallowed, shaking her head as she pressed her hand against her chest. "I'm fine... Sorry for scaring you..."
I nodded nervously, but then shook my head. "Um... it's alright..."
The woman rubbed her face, and I found myself feeling better when I heard her breath start to go back to normal. Apparently Jesse wasn't the only one who was really bad in the hospital, because this woman looked like she had run all the way across the country and back without even stopping.
"Sorry for freaking you out," she apologized again, leaning back into her chair and letting out a deep breath. She crossed her arms over her stomach and let out another breath. "I'm just kind of scared..."
"I'm sorry," I apologized, even though I didn't have anything to be sorry for. "I'm pretty scared, too..."
The woman nodded understandingly at me. "I'm sorry."
When the door opened and a doctor stepped out, I almost jumped out of my seat and waited for him to call out a patient's name. Please be for Jesse... Please be for Jesse...
"Jesse Jacobsen?"
The woman and I both jumped up, crying out simultaneously, "That's for me!"
We stopped dead in our tracks, giving each other the most confused looks that we could both muster. What was this woman talking about?
"Who are you?" we both asked in unison. "Who am I? Who are you?"
"I'm Jesse's mother," the woman informed me, her eyebrows furrowing ever so slightly. My eyes widened in shock. "But who are you?"
"I'm his girlfriend..." I informed her, still in shock from what she had said. This was Jesse's mother? I knew that his father was no longer alive, but he never hadn't ever said anything about his mother... He did say that we were kind of alike though...
"Girlfriend?" his mother asked, her eyebrows furrowing fully now. "Jesse doesn't have a girlfriend... What's your name?"
"Jordan," I answered, afraid that she wasn't going to like me. "Jordan Emery."
His mother's blue eyes widened with complete and total shock. Her jaw dropped, and all she did was stare at me for a few moments, the doctor standing behind us awkwardly. I shuffled my feet a little, not knowing what I was supposed to be doing.
"Jordan Emery?" she asked, still staring me like I was a unicorn or something. "You're really the Jordan Emery?"
What was with people knowing me when I didn't even know them? First it was Hunter, but now it was Jesse's mother? How did she even know who I was?
"Um... yeah?"
His mother's eyes suddenly filled with tears, and I was being crushed into a hug before I even knew what was happening. Okay, obviously she knew who I was really well... But how the heck did she?
"I can't believe I finally get to meet you!" she cried into my hair, and all I could do was just stand there awkwardly. "Jesse would talk about you all the time! I can't believe you two are actually together!"
When she finally let me go, I stood there and nodded. What was I supposed to say to her? I had just met my boyfriend's mother and she hugged me like we were old friends... What was I supposed to do?
"Ahem," the doctor cleared his throat, and our attention quickly turned back toward him. "Jesse's going to be just fine. He's awake right now, so if you want to go see him--"
We didn't allow him to finish, because his mother and I quickly took off toward the hallway where the hospital rooms were. I was glad that the patients' names were on the door so we could see who it belonged to, because if they weren't there I would have probably be busting into random peoples' rooms.
When we finally got to the room with his name on the door, I was the first one to barge in.
The second I stepped inside, my eyes met green ones. With a wide smile on my face, I stepped forward toward his bed, delighted that his eyes were not closed.
"Jorda--" Jesse started, but he was cut off when I was suddenly pushed out of the way swiftly. I thankfully didn't lose my footing as I stumbled off to the side, the door quietly closing being me.
"Jesse, I'm so glad you're okay!" his mother sobbed, running over and hugging her son tightly. "I thought you were dead! We had a funeral and everything!"
"Alright, Ma," he wheezed, trying his best to pry her off of him. "Okay, Ma, I understand. You missed me, I get it. Now get off, that hurts."
"I know you'd rather be hugged by your girlfriend," she smiled happily, finally letting him go as she emphasized the word, "but I've thought you've been dead for the past month!"
I expected his mother to be angry, but she was actually really happy. I was glad, because I didn't want Jesse's mother to hate me.
"I understand, Ma," he repeated with a nod, and I started smiling when I saw that he was blushing out of embarrassment. "I understand."
His mother looked back at me and smiled, obviously noticing that I was waiting patiently. I wasn't about to bother them. They hadn't seen each other in so long, and I had known that Jesse was still alive. I wasn't going to spoil their reunion.
"I'll give you two some time alone," Jesse's mother finally said, definitely throwing me off guard. "I can tell how much you two just want to be together, so I'll go talk to the doctor and get everything situated."
I couldn't help but smile at her as she passed me on her way to the door. She smiled back at me, but no words were exchanged. When I heard the door shut behind me, all I could do was stare at the floor and smile, happy that Jesse was alive in front of me.
"Jordan, come here," Jesse told me, but I didn't even move and inch. I was afraid that if I looked at him I would hug him, and I didn't want to hurt him. "Come on, Jordan."
I inched my way closer, still staring at the floor until I was right next to his bed. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt him, and since he got hurt when his mother had hugged him... I didn't want to hurt him even more. I was already the reason why he was in the hospital in the first place.
"I don't get a hug or anything?" Jesse asked me, and I could hear the teasing tone in his voice. "Fine then, be that way..."
"I don't want to hurt you," I mumbled, finally looking up from the floor and at him now. His eyes widened just a little, and I slipped my hand into his as it lay on his bed. "It hurt you when your mom hugged you, so I don't want to take the chance of hurting you even more."
"I'm willing to get hurt if it's for you," Jesse told me, and quickly latched onto my hand and pulled me closer to him. He wrapped his arms around my shoulders as I buried my face in his uninjured shoulder, sobbing almost immediately. I was just so glad that he was alright...
"Shh," he soothed, patting the back of my head gently. "It's okay, Jordan... It's okay..."
"No it's not," I cried into his shoulder, still crying as my grip on his hospital gown tightened. "It's all my fault that you're here. It's all my fault that you were shot. I thought you were dead, Jesse. I really thought you were dead..."
"I'm here, I'm fine," he assured quietly, still petting the back of my head to get me to calm down. "You don't have to cry anymore. I'm never going to leave you again. I promise you that, Jordan."
"Hunter's in jail," I sniffed, finally pulling away from him and sitting in the chair that I had quickly pulled next to his bed. "Or he's going to be, at least. But it's over, Jesse. Everything's over and we can be together out in the open and no one can stop us. My friends know and they're fine with it, and since Hunter's in jail he can't do anything."
Jesse smiled at me, grazing his fingers gingerly on the skin of my cheek. I leaned into his touch, just wanting to be closer to him.
"I love you, Jordan," he told me, still stroking my cheek as he did so. "I love you more than anything."
I slipped my hand over the one that was stroking my cheek, clutching onto it tightly and smiling right back at him. "And I love you more than anything, too."
"But what about Hunter's goons?" Jesse now asked, readjusting himself in his bed as much as he could without hurting himself. He winced, but continued on before I could do or say anything about it. "The whole reason we didn't turn Hunter in was because he would have sent his goons to come after us."
"We're going to go into protective custody for a while," I informed him with a nod, remembering what Erica had told me while we were in the waiting room together. "So will Alex, since he's pretty deep in this with us. Our friends and family are going to be watched a little bit as well, but not as much as we're going to be."
"How long are we going to have to be in protective custody?" Jesse now asked, a frown plastered onto his face. I didn't like the idea of being in protective custody either, but as long as we were safe...
"I don't think for very long," I answered with a shake of my head, folding my hands in my lap as I tried to think. "Erica was telling me how the Blazing Brothers were kind of dying out, so Hunter shouldn't have very many followers."
Jesse's eyes widened a little. "You were talking with Erica?"
I nodded, smiling a little when I remembered what Erica had done for me. If it wasn't for her, both Jesse and I would have been dead right then and Hunter would have probably been on the run. But, even though she didn't like me in the past, she still came to my rescue when I needed help.
I began to tell Jesse how Erica had saved me and what she had done to Hunter, and he looked shocked throughout the entire story. I didn't blame him, because I knew that he knew Erica had once been in love with Hunter. She even said that she had been, and it made me feel bad for both Erica and Hunter.
I hated that I felt sorry for that bastard. But I was too kind of a person not to.
"So, I see you met my mom," Jesse chuckled nervously a little while after I had finished telling him about what had happened. "Sorry if she's kind of... whacky."
"You call her Ma," I couldn't help but point out, finding it incredibly adorable that he did so. "I've never heard of anyone else calling their mom by ma."
"I had a speech impairment when I was a kid," Jesse shrugged, looking away from me as his cheeks reddened in embarrassment. "I couldn't pronounce mommy or mama or even mom, so I just called her Ma. I guess it just stuck, and that was what I've always called her."
"That's so cute!" I gushed, smiling even more when I saw how red Jesse's cheeks were. "Now I wish that I could have known you when we were kids!"
"My mom has a bunch of home videos back at our place," Jesse shrugged once again, and he rolled his eyes when he saw my eyes light up. "If we ever go over them I'm sure she'll force us to watch them."
"Would she make us go through your baby pictures?" I asked, a sly grin on my face.
Jesse made a face. "She better not."
"What if I asked her to?"
"Oh, God."
I giggled, leaning forward and pecking him on the lips quickly. I still didn't want to hurt him, and I could tell the hug that I had given him hurt, even if it was just a little. I knew that he didn't want me to worry about him, but I couldn't help but do so...
"Why didn't you tell me you had good grades?" I found myself blurting out. I bit my tongue, not meaning to say that out loud. What if he wanted to keep it a secret or something? But then again, why would you want to keep your grades a secret?
Jesse let out a sigh, running a hand through his hair as he did so. "I don't know. I guess I just always assumed that you wouldn't believe me. You always thought I was a screw-up, didn't you?"
"No!" I denied, but I knew he could tell that I was lying. I thought that Jesse was a lot of things when we were still enemies, and I guess a screw-up was one of them. I just always assumed that he had bad grades...
"I'm sure you've thought that I'm a lot of other things than just a screw-up, so I guess it's okay," he shrugged, dropping his hands into his lap now.
"We're probably going to have to make up graduation," I now said quickly, just wanting to get off the topic of what I had thought of Jesse before we had gotten together. "And you're going to be a part of it."
Jesse blinked at me. "What makes you say that?"
I was the one to shrug now. "Erica told me. She says that we're both probably going to give the valedictorian speech since you're the real valedictorian and I already wrote a speech."
Jesse nodded, leaning back in his bed a little bit. "Okay, I guess. That sounds like a good plan. I'm sure that's not going to happen for a while since I'm in here and everything..."
I smiled sadly at him. "I hope it's before I go off to Yale."
That was something that I had to think about now. Jesse was back, and even though he had been shot and he was now wounded, he was still there with me. So what was I supposed to do now?
"Jesse... what am I supposed to do about Yale and us?" I spoke my fears, afraid of the answer that was going to escape his lips.
Jesse took my face in his hands, stroking my cheeks lightly. "Jordan, you know I want to spend the rest of my life with you, right? I've just never officially asked you. So, Jordan Emery, will you--"
"Hello, hello!"
"You've always had the worst timing, Ma."
Jesse's mother blinked at us, as if knowing that she had just interrupted something very important. She looked from her son then to me, and then back and forth a few times as she continue to give us a suspicious look. "Did I interrupt something?"
"No," I answered quickly the same time Jesse sarcastically said, "Kinda."
His mother smiled at us sheepishly, scratching the back of her head as she did so. "Sorry, sorry..."
I turned back toward Jesse, leaning forward and pressing my lips to his. "I need to get back to the camp," I whispered to him, my hand clutching onto his tightly. "Erica can't cover for me forever, and I'm sure I'm going to get questioned a whole lot. You should get some rest before they come to question you, too. I'll come back as soon as I can. I promise."
Jesse smiled up at me. "Alright," he whispered right back, slowly brushing his lips over mine. "But come back as soon as possible."
I smiled at him, squeezing his hand once again. "I will," I nodded, finally feeling free and happy again after months of being trapped by Hunter. "I promise."
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I'm using a scene from this story in my monologue for my midterm final in my drama class and when people read it they said it was deep and badass. xD
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