A/N: This story will always be Shawn's point of view! Unless I say different. Also everything in italics below is a memory!
I never really considered what would happen in the future with Camila and I. It went through my head but I'd figured we could work through anything and we'd be fine. It didn't exactly happen like that, and tomorrow I'm supposed to see her for the first time in three months because she's joining the tour for tomorrow's show, again. I last saw her in March in my New York show, when she said to me that everything between us was a mistake.
Anyway, right now Ian and I were walking the streets of Pickering heading toward the mall. "You good?" Ian asked slapping my back, I let out a groan as he hit the sun burn I'd got from Miami two days ago. I could hardly put my shirt on today. "Sorry" Ian mumbled a small chuckle escaping his mouth.
We walked in through the Pet store doors and went toward where the dogs are kept. "I can't believe you want a dog." I said to Ian smiling slightly, I heard a girl shriek but I was never interrupted, amazing actually.
"Look at that one!" Ian smiled pointing to a cute lab that was sleeping in the small glass windowed room.
We stayed for a small amount of time looking at all the dogs and chatting with one of the workers that had gone to school with us and graduated last year with Ian.
Ian was talking as we walked through the mall, and I bet he knew I wasn't listening at all.
You know that feeling, that something big is missing. I've felt that since I let her walk away in February. The fight that blew everything out of proportion and caused me to return home for a month.
Caused me to feel empty.
"-it's the craziest thing!" Ian finished using his hands to show how exasperated he was.
"What are you rambling about?" I asked quietly bringing my hand to my face and rubbing my nose as I felt a sneeze coming on. Damn perfume shops.
"Never mind," Ian muttered looking away. He'd gotten into a fight with Geoff earlier today and he'd been off since. "So tell me, what's going on? You never told me what happened with her." Ian said stopping in front of HMV and going in.
"It's hard to explain," I muttered lifting my hoodie up over my head as one of the staff eyed me.
Ian went back to the records looking through them all before answering, "explain Shawn." He said pulling out the Ed Sheeran one and handing it to me before going back to what he was doing.
I smiled looking at the record in my hands before I looked to the right and saw her groups cd on the shelf. I put the Ed Sheeran record down on top of the records and walked across the small isle picking up the cd.
She looked beautiful on the cover.
She always was, whether she was in sweats and a baggy tee or in a dress with heels.
"We had a fight," I mumbled, "it was big, I yelled she yelled. I said things I didn't mean!"
I cried, feeling the tears come into my eyes. "It was about stupid things that we'd kept pushing aside, things we'd let pile up to come back and hurt us more."
I spoke with a shake of my head, "it was bad."
I stopped and Ian didn't say anything else, but I knew the question would return soon.
I wasn't wrong.
It did, "how bad?" He questioned putting the Ed Sheeran record back where he got it.
"I told her I felt nothing, I told her she meant nothing. She said I was a mistake, that I was no better than Austin. The distance was what ate us alive the most!" I spoke, I was speaking quite harsh and I hadn't noticed until I earned stares from a couple of people. We walked over to where they had the headphone testing and I put a pair of Dr. Dre beats on, and immediately I regretted it once I heard her voice in them. But I didn't take them off, instead I rewinded it and played the song.
I heard Camila's voice at the beginning for the harmony, and then Lauren's voice started.
"Monday you sent me flowers
Tuesday made me feel stupid
Wednesday the world was ours
Thursday you didn't prove it."
And then it was Normani's part,
"Friday fell back in love
Saturday we didn't talk
Sunday you said you needed space,"
Ally came in once Normani stopped,
"Do you miss me? Am I crazy?
Am I losing hold of your love baby?"
Then it was her,
"Either you want me or you don't
I need to know, I need to know"
Her voice tearing through my heart causing me to rip off the headphones before Dinah could even begin. "Hey, you alright?" Ian asked coming up from looking through the cd's behind me. "No, I'm not." With that I began walking toward the exit and Ian followed behind not trying to interrupt my thoughts.
She was everything I remember every fight, every disagreement, everything with her.
From eating stupid sandwiches and watching Netflix with her,
"Shawn, I'm making lunch. Do you want one slice of cheese or two?" she asked me walking into the living room where I was lying on the couch watching the 100. I was about to say one until I got the idea to say, "I want a piece of you." I was smirking afterward, her jaw dropped, her cheeks flushed, and she yelled my name clearly embarrassed by my statement.
To our stupid arguments,
"Surprise surprise, it's about time, Miss Camila Cabello freaked out on her fans today when she tweeted for them to leave her alone! Do you think that was a smart move for her and her career? Tell us what you think on twitter! And hey why not tag Camila in it too? That's all for your 7pm Teen Celeb Gossip on E! News talk tomorrow!" The host of the talk show spoke.
"Great, I messed up again," she'd mumbled quietly, earning a pissed off look from me. "What did you say on twitter?" I asked my eyes boring into hers, she looked at me with a frown and showed me her phone. She sighed as I read the tweet,
@/CamilaCabello97: Can you guys just give me some privacy? I just want to spend time with my boyfriend and not be late to a meeting. I love you all but... It's annoying to have to shield my face. Give me space? Please? Thanks!😘👌
I took the phone into my hand looking through the comments, after a few minutes I threw her phone to her and put my head in my hands as I sat down across from her on the black wooden stool. "Why'd you become famous Camila? Who helped you get here?" I slightly yelled, or raised my voice. She didn't even bother to answer my question because that's how she was, so I continued my damn rant. "They got you to where you are today, don't forget that!" I yelled, I turned around and grabbed a pencil and a sheet of lined paper and went into the recording booth. I tapped on the mic seeing if it was still on and began singing a new song that was coming off the top of my head from my anger. When I looked up again, she was gone.
We fought so often, it wasn't even funny, the worst one though, the worst one was the one that somebody video taped outside.
It was one of my last days headed to the studio in New York. As I was fixing some things on the cd I wondered as to what Mila was doing as she'd been playing on her phone, I could admit I was jealous. It'd happen all the time, all because she'd dated Austin Mahone and she can date multiple others but she'd chosen me, I'd always thought she'd regret that.
My phone was vibrating in my back pocket as I stood in the small booth singing to myself, so I told the guys to stop for a second and pulled out my phone, calling me was Cameron. Yeah Cameron Dallas, I'd heard about his plans for Magcon re-starting but I didn't want to go, I want to stay with Camila and be with her. But when I answered the phone everything changed, "Hey Cameron what's up dude?" I answered switching off my headphones and leaving the booth going into the studio where Mila and the guys were. "Hey Shawn, I was wondering if I planned some shows that kind of followed Camila's tour would you join us?" I was totally confused at that point, "Tour? Camila doesn't-"
I remember how I stopped myself as I looked to her and she looked at me her face full of guilt, I was than in shock when she went to open her mouth I put my finger up as if to say, "wait" and I went back to my conversation with Cameron. "I'll actually ask my parents, but yeah, I might, talk later?" I asked avoiding eye contact with Camila. "Yeah, bye dude!" With that Cameron hung up and I put my phone in my pocket and looked at Camila.
"Tour?" I asked quietly, I looked around at everyone that was watching the two of us. I looked back at her anger shooting through me. "I think we should talk, like yesterday," I muttered grabbing her hand and leaving the studio and going through the lobby, through the doors and making it outside."Shawn let me explain," Camila cried as we stopped just outside the doors, I hadn't noticed she was crying. "I wanted to tell you but we've been in a rut these past few days and I just didn't know how to mention that my tour was starting next week." she grabbed my hand as I pulled away feeling even worse.
"Next week?" I felt betrayed and heard the voice crack as the tears came into my eyes. "Go home Camila, I need time." I stopped and I went to go in but then I made the mistake and I turned around letting my head take the spotlight and control my heart instead of my heart.
I also didn't realize at the time that someone was close by filming us. "No you know what, listen to me. We made love, I gave you my all last night and you just don't think of saying that you're leaving for a tour. I thought we had everything but if you can't tell me something like that, I don't trust you at all. Go home, and not to Toronto, go to your real home. I don't want to see you ever again." With that I'd turned around tears streaming down my face and went toward the doors.
When I approached I saw Ian standing there and watching, he opened the door and let me in. "You okay dude?" He asked slightly cautious of my response to his question. "No, I need to go home, can we go home." I asked sliding my back down the entrance door, not being able to feel my chest my heart beating really fast, I felt numb, and empty throughout my whole body, Ian ran toward the studio.
The fighting never ended!
It was like a second nature for our relationship and it would become so tiring.
But I'd fallen in love with her, she was everything and I can swear to you we have some good memories.
I don't know them all off the top of my head but they were amazing.
"Shawn?" Ian muttered and I was brought back to the present realizing we were standing in front of the car. "I'm going to talk to her tomorrow," I told Ian the confidence completely evident as I spoke. "I'm going to remind her of our good memories, and help her forget the bad ones." I smiled looking at Ian, he smiled back and we headed home, and now I was totally excited for when I saw Camila tomorrow.
"Hey what happened to getting a dog?" I asked Ian as we exited the mall parking lot, he chuckled looking at me and then back to the road as he drove. "You didn't hear anything I said in that mall did you?" He asked making the right onto the street before mine. I shook my head and he laughed. "I'm going to bring Geoff, I think it's something we should do together." I nodded though I was totally confused, I thought they were fighting.
Whatever I'll follow along.
I can't wait for tomorrow.
Wait what if she doesn't want to talk?
What if she doesn't want to forget the bad and look at the good.
God damn memories.
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There it was, chapter one done.
What did you think of Shawn's reaction to hearing Who You Are by Fifth Harmony? What about his reaction to his memories? What about Ian, how did you expect him to react with Shawn zoning in and out? What about Shawn's doubt in the end?
The Who You Are video, that I went off for the song and how Shawn heard it.
So I hope you guys like this chapter, I know it's basically a lot of Shawn sorting things out in his head but I thought it was a good way to get back into things!
Send me covers and banners that you make and I can post them as the picture for the chapter and I'll dedicate the chapter to you! Email them to me at kassandrasimpson71@gmail.com!
Let me know how you like the layout, the idea and the cover I made for this book!
Also, follow me for information during the week if I get held up on updating or if I'm updating early and also what time the update will come out on the day I set.
Teaser: Shawn sees Camila, and she doesn't react how he thought she would... And Aaliyah goes to Shawn for advice for her Grade 8 graduation, and advice on high school.
Update: Thursday, March 17th!