"Failure find me to tie me up now 'cause I'm as bad, as bad as it gets. Failure find me, to hang me up now by my neck cause I'm a fate worse than death"
-------- Sarcasm - Get Scared --------
"What on earth were you thinking?" Ace scolded.
"I know sir. I'm sorry sir." I spoked firmly, unwavering into the computer. We were skyping, Nolan sat beside me in just his jeans with little investment to the conversation. Ace was scolding me, perhaps worse than my own father ever even had.
"When I call you, you answer the fȕcking phone!" He continued on a rampage.
"Yes sir." I agreed. I agreed with everything he said to us. What choice did I have? I was just lucky I wasn't getting fired. I mean, that might not have been the worst thing that could happen to me but the overwhelming perfectionist that I was inside refused to accept such defeat.
He'd been going at this for at least ten minutes. Berating us, scolding us like children, talking about what could have happened, what this could have cost us, he had more what if scenarios in his head than I did, and that was really saying something. I was accepting my fate and lecture like a good little toddler would the entire time until he threw in something that did rattle me.
"You should know better than to start intimate relationship with your clients!"
"I-intimate?!" I sputtered.
"I was under the impression that you had worked with high profile clients before, get your head out of the stars and get on the job!"
"To be fair." Nolan cut in. "Wouldn't you say she took a new meaning to getting ON the job?"
I elbowed him in the rib and he coughed.
"What! It's not like he could expect us to share a bunk! And how rude would it have been to use the couch? I mean everyone sits there from time to time."
"We didn't-" I protested but Ace turned his rage elsewhere abruptly.
"And you." He finally turned his attention to Nolan who he had essentially ignored for most of this. In response Nolan lit a cigarette. "Need I remind you that you have signed a contract? And in that contract there is a morality clause?"
"Are you firing me?" Nolan asked calmly and exhaled smoke. It was at this point I caught a whiff of what he was smoking.
I was going to kill him.
Ace didn't falter. Although he knew he couldn't fire Nolan, he knew it, I knew it, and Nolan knew it. "Don't push this Nolan. I own you." He reminded him and Nolan rolled his eyes.
"Yeah, yeah."
"Don't ruin this for the band." He said sharply and Nolan sighed heavily. Ace didn't seem to be able to tell what Nolan was smoking, over the camera it must have just appeared to be a cigarette. As we sat here listening to Ace tell us how we needed to buckle down, get more serious, get our acts straight, Nolan was smoking a blunt. If I reacted, Ace would catch on, and I knew that would make me look bad. I was sitting right beside him and I couldn't even control him for a fifteen minute skype lecture!
"I mean hey, I can leave?" Nolan suggested and Ace's frown deepened.
"And I can fine you for breach of contract." Ace shot back but promptly turned his attention to a battle he could actually win. Me. "You're hanging on by a thread Red, I hope you're aware of that." He said threateningly.
I was half tempted to say that wasn't so bad. I mean, a single strand of thread could pull together even the biggest of tears in your pants. You could use thread for a lot of different needs too. You could sew with it, you could rig a booby trap with it if you knew how, tie it around your finger to remind yourself to do something, in extreme cases it was possible to use in stitches until you could get the correct medical supplies, tie things together, hell you could even use a piece of thread as floss to get the gunk out of your teeth. Thread was actually a great resource.
Naturally Ace was aiming to strike fear into my heart, not praise me on the many resources I may provide, so I of course agreed with him. "Yes sir."
He sent me a look, and then Nolan, me, Nolan, me. "I expect much more from the both of you."
"Of course sir."
"Get some sleep." He finally grumbled and signed off without a goodbye.
I slammed the computer shut and smacked the blunt out of Nolan's hand.
"Hey!" He protested.
"Really Nolan!" I yelled.
"What? I was stressing out...you want a hit?" He asked picking it up off the floor quickly and brushing the ashes away.
"Oh I'll take a hit alright!"
He considered this for a moment before leaning away from me. "I don't know that I should trust you...you're going to throw it out the window if I give it to you, aren't you?
I raised a brow and he finally sighed and passed it to me. I rose to my feet, opened a window and tossed it out. He didn't even flinch nor did he object.
"Saw that coming." He muttered.
"Are you trying to get me fired? You know what, don't even answer that." I stood up. "Of course you are, you've been pretty darn upfront with me about not wanting me here."
"He won't fire you." He drawled. "Not unless I get stabbed or something." He added with a chuckle. "Everyone else runs like hell from this gig. He's not going to fire someone who isn't running, not unless you were really bad."
"Have I done a single thing right?!"
"Well. No."
"I would fire me." I huffed.
"I'm starting to think you fancy me Red."
"Well I don't."
"Oh really?" He grinned and leaned forward to prop his elbows on his knees. "You did take your clothes off for me, spend some time naked under your robe in a trashy motel, did you forget when I had my hands tangled in your hair body flush against my own? One would definitely think these were the actions of one who might fancy the other."
"One would be wrong." I bit out.
Nolan let out a chuckle. "It's okay Carter, I'm used to having this effect on women."
"The affect where they beg you not to kiss them?"
He frowned.
"Put a shirt on." I instructed and turned my back to him. "Or don't, I don't really care, it's late. I'm going to sleep."
"What about my five minutes?"
I whirled back around to face him. "You had over two hours!"
"But that was for you, this is for me."
"For me?" I repeated and he nodded. "I should have let that guy give you a beating before calling the cops."
He snorted. "Puh-leaze. I totally had him."
"Let me make myself very clear right now Nolan. I'm not some groupie, you can make all the jokes you want and imply whatever you want to imply. But I don't fancy you. I'm not like Ace who just looks the other way, and I'm not like groupies who find you charming. If you want me to quit call me a slȕt again and I will do so right now. Got it? I don't expect you to behave, honestly I don't, but I will not put up with the level of disrespect you showed me tonight."
"I showed you a good time first though, doesn't that count for anything?" The look I gave him must have answered his question. "Look, I wasn't trying to be an asshole. Okay, I was, but only so you'd quit storming away. I thought you'd come back and yell at me more if I got you worked up enough."
"You high school leveled name calling is not the only thing I am referring to."
"Hm. Figured as much."
With an eye roll I kept turned and started walking again. "Goodnight Nolan."
"Goodnight doll face." He replied and I could even hear the smirk on his voice. "And just for the record-" He called out a little louder, I would have stopped to listen maybe if I wasn't already at my destination of the bunks. Being I already was, I instead slid it open as though I was ignoring him. "I wasn't trying to screw you."
"Hm."
"Not that I would be opposed, also for the record."
I rolled my eyes and ignored him as I got ready for bed. I had already slipped a pair of pajama shorts on under Nolan's t-shirt I was wearing and my make up was long gone from our little dip and the shower, so getting ready to go to sleep really only consisted of plugging my phone in and pulling my blanket back.
"Everything I said back there was horse shít. And we both know it." I hesitated for a moment and then continued fluffing my pillow though slower this time. "I guess I'm kind of a díck when it comes to handling rejection." Kind of. "Last night wasn't about getting laid. My big rant was a bunch of bullshít worked up from a wounded ego."
When I looked to my side Nolan was there leaning against the wall just some inches away.
"Don't pretend like you didn't already know I'm a lying little shít." He's right, I totally did know it.
Rather than think about what Nolan was trying to say, some sort of apology I think, admittance that he had no great ploy to get me into bed, and I couldn't help but take note of the fact that I had blatantly told him I would quit if he called me a slȕt or that C word I would not even repeat again and he had not done so, I climbed into bed.
"Goodnight Red." He said just before I slid the door shut.
~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~
Twirling my spoon around the nearly empty gallon of strawberry cheese cake ice cream I contemplated life. I mean, what else was I to do for the next six hours on the road?
Did I want to stay? I'd made it over a month, a month and one week to be exact. Nolan was...well he was something else, that's for sure. We could scream and yell and curse at each other all afternoon, we could sit in complete silence staring at the wall, or we could stay up all hours of the night playing rock band, which by the way he did surprisingly bad.
My computer dinged several times, when I moved my finger over the touch pad it lit up to reveal a group chat message. I hesitated for a moment considering this, if I opened up the chat, I would tell the girls everything from the night before. I wasn't sure I was willing to accept what had happened yet myself...but I couldn't ignore my friends.
Sooner or later I would be home, and I would want my life to go back to normal, as normal as it could that is. If I let my friendships falter because of Nolan, I would regret it later. I opened the chat.
I was partial relieved when the group began conversing through messages, asking me how I was, how the tour was, was I enjoying it anymore. I missed them.
How's it going? Rita asked.
With an eye roll I quickly typed back Is it over yet?
We made idle chit chat. Harper discussing how attractive Nolan and the band was and how so hated me so much because she was so jealous. We talked about the group of guys Jess had adapted to and how they rooted for the Browns. We talked about missing each other and finally I broached the subject that was weighing hard on my mind.
So Nolan. I typed slowly and I could already feel myself blushing. I glanced up, he was sitting at the table tapping the bottom of his pen on paper. Trying to write a song, and failing as usual. I felt like my poor friends were already sick of my talking and complaining about Nolan. To be fair, I had literally nothing else to talk about. My day and nights were all spent with him. What else did I have to talk about? I typed the next sentence slower. Much slower. We made a bet the other day...
Harper was the first to inquire about what kind of bet, the others soon echoed. Either Harper was a fast typist or she was more invested in all things Nolan. Both were likely true. Harper was a computer genius and heavily addicted to the band.
Again, my eyes skirted the room. I felt sneaky, on the couch in plain sight. I double checked that Nolan was still at the table, Finn as well. Derek and Gunner were on the floor in front of me playing cards over the small coffee table, Holden was taking a nap. They did this often, napped, played cards, were bored out of their minds when not performing or arguing.
I made slow of typing the next bit. Not wanting to admit it, though needed to get it out as well.
He said he could give me a "extraordinary" night, a night to remember blah blah blah. In two hours. If he failed to do so he'd lay off the drugs for two weeks.
OMG you got him sober? Jess awed.
What did you guys do in two hours? Omg...do I even want to know. I'm jealous. Harper was always jealous so this wasn't really a surprise either. I wished we could be having this conversation in person, she was such a lively person.
What if you lost? Sensible Rita asked.
Oh you know. He just demanded a kiss.
After hitting send my eyes flew up to find Nolan, he hadn't moved thankfully.
The responses were all pretty in awe. They wanted to know what he tried to do, how the two hours were, was it raunchy?
I typed quickly and as briefly as I could. Leaving out the more, intimate details and sticking straight to the basics. Motorcycle ride, creepy woods to the train track, almost getting run over, lake diving.
What? Wtf that is crazy you could have gotten yourself killed. Rita.
Hey now, I don't think it's THAT bad. I mean...she could maybe loosen up a bit. Jess.
Loosen up yes. Die? Yeah not so much. The two started going back and forth. Harper finally cut in saying she think it would have been an interesting night and she so would have lost the bet.
I dropped the bomb. Well yeah that's why I did lose.
My messenger was blowing up. Officially.
Messages exclaimed YOU KISSED?!
WHAT HAPPENED?!
Was it good? Harper of course.
Rants on How could you let this happen, what were you thinking, there were demands for details. I was so engulfed in the conversation I had let my attention drift from Nolan. When he flopped down on the couch beside me I let out a started yelp and smacked the computer shut.
His head was instantly on my lap as I moved my computer hastily and he groaned my name out.
"Can you not sneak up on me like that!" I yelled with red cheeks. What if he'd glanced at the screen? Seen that I was talking about him, about kissing him. This no privacy thing was driving me to the brink of insanity.
"I'm bored." He whined over dramatically.
"So do something!"
"Stop yelling at me." He whined and my blush deepened.
"Go read a book or something."
"Can't. Didn't bring any."
"Lucky for you I did. Oh yeah, and your phone, you know, the thing you like to send díck pics through? Lucky for you, you can access thousands of books on that thing!"
For him to look up far enough from my lap to meet my eyes his forehead creased.
"Go play a game."
"No one to play with."
"You're on a bus full of people."
"And sooooo bored." He continued whining. My phone started vibrating on the coffee table. Nolan picked it up, his brows ascended his already creased forehead as I pulled it out of his hands.
You can't just drop a bomb like that and DITCH us! Tell us about that kiss!
I knew he'd seen it, judging by his expression he'd read it too, but Nolan didn't say anything. "I'm bored Carter. I want my five minutes."
Seemed like a trap. He'd just read the text proving I'd blurted about our adventure. What if he used his five minutes to talk about that?
"What is with you and those five minutes?" It was Holden who asked stumbling out of his bunk and rubbing his eyes.
Nolan looked up at me rather than answer. "I'd like to spend my five minutes talking about how much of a douche Holden is if it's all the same to you."
One of the guys, I'm not sure which snorted and Holden frowned.
"I was teasing him in our interview about his poor hurt rich boy feelings and how hard life must be to be rich and famous and promised him we could set aside five minutes to talk about his feelings. He's held me to my word." I couldn't help but smile a little. It was incredibly silly, and Nolan often lied about the stories he told anyway, I could seldom remember times he was perfectly honest and serious during these conversations but we did it every day regardless.
Holden shrugged and opened the fridge, he stared into it for the longest time as if the contents would change to his desire if he kept up the same blank stare for long enough.
"Do you want to know my favorite thing about you?" Nolan asked looking back up to me, I realized he'd been staring at me for some time now.
"If you say my breasts or bum I will push you off of me and I will make sure your head hits the coffee table on the way down."
He looked amused, almost tempted to say it just to test my dedication to the threat. "I wasn't going to say that." He finally responded after weighing his options. "I was going to say when you do the dishes or cook or clean-"
I scoffed loudly. "That's such a sexist thing to say. Just because I'm the girl you feel like I'm responsible for all the cleaning." I loved cleaning. Like, really loved it. It fit my OCD tendencies to a T. When I got stressed I got busy. Be it exercising, cleaning, learning to knit. I almost couldn't control it, it was like the moment a pang of anxiety hit me my hands found something and just started working with them. I liked cleaning. But Nolan didn't need to know that.
He laughed. "If you would have let me finish baby that's not what I was going to say. I was going to say that when you do all those things you put your headphones in so loud I can hear the music just about word for word from where I'm sitting and you sing."
"Oh." I didn't mean to sing out loud. I knew I was a bad singer, well, maybe not bad but definitely not good. Sometimes you just can't help but belt out the lyrics for the whole bus to hear. Ed, the driver, often sang along with me.
"You sing, and you dance around, and every single song you sing you sing the wrong lyrics."
"What?"
"Sometimes it's just a few words here and there."
"I don't do that."
"Sometimes it's the whole chorus." He laughed.
"I don't do that!"
"You totally do." Holden agreed and the fridge opened for the second time with no change. He seemed disappointed.
My cheeks warmed up. "I'm sure it couldn't be every song." I protested. Nolan's head bobbed up and down in affirmation on my lap. "I don't."
"But you do." He continued.
Note to self. Control singing tendencies.
"Don't get all upset. I find it quite endearing. Kind of like when you go to elementary schools to read to the little bastards inside and they're so unbelievably stupid you can't even find them annoying anymore. It's cute really."
"You want to know my favorite thing about you?"
He grinned broadly. "Lay it on me baby."
"How hard you fall." I said and shoved him off my lap.
He narrowly missed the coffee table with his head and instead fell against Derek who was still on the floor playing cards. "Harsh." He groaned as he and Derek tried to move to make enough room for both in the miniscule gap between the couch and the coffee table. "By the way, you might want to text your friend back. She seemed pretty eager to hear about that kiss."
"Kiss?" Holden asked and his eyes cut to Nolan sharply.
With an over dramatic yawn and stretch Nolan pulled himself up. "I think I could go for a nap. You know, recharge before the show tonight."
I ignored Nolan and instead turned to Holden. "I haven't kissed anyone." I assured him gently.
Nolan stopped just shy of his bunk. "Careful Carter, you know how risky these games can be." He said casually before tossing something into his mouth and ducking down into his bunk.
"I didn't." I repeated to Holden.
"Just be careful." Derek said looking over his shoulder to me. "It's Nolan."
Inodded. "I know...it's Nolan."
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TGIF!!!
I don't know why but I ended up combining two chapters into one for this update? It's just the way I had it written, with the break rather than new chapter inbetween so eh. I considered separating this into two chapter but eventually decided to just post it as written. So here's a nice long chapter for my Carlan babies (;
By the wayy, if anyone has some song suggestions I'm still open to them (: I have some already waiting for later chapters but like the song for this chapter I just kind of picked because I like it lol. If you hear a song that reminds you of a particular character, scene, relationship, or the book in general don't hesitate to suggest! :D
Don't forget to vote and comment!(: