Author's note: Hay guyz, I'm back with another update. Someone did ask me if I had an update schedule, and I don't, but I can promise you that I'll update at least once a week. I was just excited about this chapter because it's fun, and plus, the last chapter was kind of a bore, so I wanted to update ASAP. There's not that much left to this story (even though it seems like their story hasn't even started). So thank you for sticking around and reading my ridiculously long author's note and this story. Thank you so much for your lovely feedback; I love it all. ENJOY, x.
--
Without missing a beat, Harry asked, "Michal is coming to the wedding after all. Would you like to accompany me at the wedding?"
I smiled uneasily at him.
Going to weddings together was a relationship thing. It was something that you usually did with your partner. And Harry and I being in an unsettled place, I wasn't sure what to think of his question.
"No pressure," he added charmingly.
"We're not dating," I blurted out. Damn, my damn mouth.
He looked at me with an undistinguishable look. I wasn't sure what he was going to say next.
"Would you like to?" he completely avoided making the conversation awkward, and instead, decided to be cheeky. A man after my own heart.
Except because Harry was so relaxed and cheeky about the situation, I immediately tensed up. Although admittedly, I was usually a bit tense around him; it was weird trying to get myself to relax around Harry.
I wasn't sure if this was a game of cat and mouse for Harry. I wasn't sure if this was a game of cat and mouse for me, either. I wasn't sure what to think of the two of us. Surely enough, it was pretty much confirmed that we liked each other, but sometimes that wasn't enough. Sometimes, it was better to think with your brain than heart, how ever much you want your heart to be right. And in my situation with Harry, my brain was searching for the abort button. But my heart was hiding it away.
Harry Styles was a majestically complicated person. Being in the spotlight since he was in his teens, he was used to the media peering into his life. He let other people take control of his life from a young age. However, he always had stable life back home, where he would stay grounded. So he somehow managed to stay levelheaded while being in a multi million-dollar band: Harry was the eighth world wonder.
"Don't overthink it," he said while it was taking me some time to come up with a response.
Of course I was overthinking it.
"Do what your heart tells you to," he continued on.
I can't listen to my heart, it'd be illogical.
"Because it makes sense," he kept on rambling while is stayed silent.
But does it?
"Because you keep me humble. Because you make me want to be a better version of myself," he announced.
Now I felt uncomfortable, even more than before, if that was possible.
"Please say something," he pleaded.
"This is all new for me," I said trying to fill the small area with my awkward voice. "I wasn't sure what I was expecting, but it wasn't this."
As soon as I said that, his face fell. His face fell fifty stories.
"It's not a bad thing," I tried to recover myself from the pitfall. "It's not that I don't like you, I do."
Harry let out a big sigh of relief.
"But it's complicated," I finished lamely.
"Of course it's complicated, all relationships are," he said simply with his smile as wide as it could be.
"I'm not sure if I'm ready for complicated," I delivered the punch, but that didn't deter him.
"It's ok, we can take it step-by-step," he smiled as he grabbed my hand.
I wasn't sure why he was so happy, but I smiled back at him.
"I'm happy because now I know that you like me," he answered my thoughts.
"It's so complicated, Harry," I couldn't help but voice my concern.
It was complicated. And complicated things often led to big messes, and I wasn't ready to deal with anything of the sort.
For the first time in years, I finally felt like I had some control of my life. I felt that I was living for me and not for the people who employed me; however, if I were to be in the public light with Harry, it would mean that I had to give up my freedom once again. And I wasn't sure if I was ready to do that just yet.
"I know it's complicated," Harry held on tightly to my hands. "I get it, it's complicated. But you know the media better than anyone, if anyone can do this with me, it's you. It's you, Jess."
There was a moment of silence; he was thinking and I was thinking, too. We were both thinking about the implications of us actually being together.
"So what are you doing to do about it?" he asked.
"About what?" I asked back.
"About liking me," he asked his voice full of hope.
"Nothing," I said in exasperation, I didn't know what I wanted to do.
"Why?"
"Don't you have a lot of questions?" I groaned because I didn't have any definite answers.
"What can I say? I'm a curious man," he wiggled his eyebrows as he gave me a big old Harry Styles smile.
"Because you're messy," I groaned in frustration.
"I'm not messy, I'm quite tidy," he continued his one-side banter with me.
"Not you, your life," I said as I rolled my eyes at him.
He paused momentarily to gather his thoughts, "But you're a fixer, you can fix it."
"I'm not in that business anymore, Styles," I told him as I stared at my hands that were enveloped into his.
"Yeah, but you like me, so if I need it, you'll do it," he cheekily grinned.
He was right. Technically.
Even though I now despised the fact that my life was once overly consumed by the media, he was right. I knew the media and I knew how to play it. It was a game that I could easily win at; however, I wasn't sure if the tradeoffs were worth it. If he was worth it.
"Look, I'm not asking you dive in head first, Jess. I want you to explore with me. I want us to grow together, and I want us to experience new things together. I have never had a serious relationship, and I know you haven't either. So let's try this, together," he looked at me with pleading eyes. Harry Styles was looking at me with his pretty pretty eyes. How was I to say no to that?
The rest of the plane ride was quiet. He held onto my hand as we both peered out of the window. And once we arrived back at O'Hare, Harry announced that he had to fly directly to L.A. to work out a few issues with the concept of his upcoming album.
A couple of weeks passed by and Harry and I were still good. When Harry wasn't working on his album, he was usually in Chicago with me. The paparazzi had caught wind of us, and there were multiple reports of us dating, but neither one of us confirmed or denied anything. I think it was because there was nothing to confirm or deny. We were very much still at the beginning stages of whatever we were.
"Well Taylor Swift was definitely contractual," I said as I laughed while having one of our nightly chats.
"I think your company set that up," he said as he reached for the bottle and topped both his and my glass off.
"I can tell with everyone except Caroline Flack, that was pre-Hansen and Company," I said as I took another sip of the wine.
"That was foolishness," he giggled.
That giggle made my heart feel so full. The giggle that he didn't sound for last couple of years because he wasn't content with his life. He had everything but his true happiness: the bare essential to be himself. Now that he was fully out of the contract, he was able to breathe for the first time in years, so he giggled. He giggled because he was happy. He giggled because I made him happy.
"What about you, was there a Caroline Flack?" he asked slightly tipsy.
I just shrugged. There wasn't anyone worth mentioning in my love life. There were hookups here and there, but nothing ever serious.
"Do you like me as much as I like you?" he suddenly asked.
"I like you," I told him.
"But I like like you," he laughed as he pulled me in closer.
I grumbled before I let out a sigh and said, "I like like you, too."
He then pulled me closer than ever and asked, "Can I kiss you?"