THINGS ARE GOING downhill for me fast.
I miss New Zealand like crazy, and I've decided that Oklahoma sucks. Sure, it has its own unique qualities, but to me there's nothing to do. I can't call friends and meet them at the beach-for two reasons actually. There are no beaches, and I have no friends. And sure, my family is nice, but they've been driving me insane trying to spend so much time with me. I need my space. Brittany is constantly wanting to be with me. It's like she idolizes me, like I'm her big sister. Don't get me wrong, she's nice, but she's pretty constant.
Also, I miss Austin so much I think I could die. I miss everything about him...he was my other half.
But the last time he called me, I got kind of mad. We were talking and being all sweet, and then he brought up a new girl named Taylor. So obviously, I became defensive, wondering why he started talking about another girl while on the phone with his girlfriend. And the worst part? Austin said she was cute. And friendly. And nice. And he talked to her.
And she likes him.
I think the whole end of the conversation was weird. Is he already noticing other girls? I would never give him up so easily.
But anyway, there are also several other things I don't like about Oklahoma. Maybe I'll get used to it, but who knows? As of right now, I want to go home.
•••
Today's my first day to go to school, as I'm so nervous I can't think straight. My whole body is jittering and I can't stop it, no matter how many times I tell
myself-or someone else tells me-that it will be fine.
I dress in a blue, sleeveless, flowing top and white shorts. Still shaking, I brush my teeth and straighten my hair, then apply my makeup. Choking down a granola bar, even though I have no appetite, I head into the office where my dad is sitting. My mom is still asleep.
"Ready to go, Dad?" I ask, running a hand through my straight hair. My dad is taking me to school until I can get a car, because I didn't have one in New Zealand. I just rode my bike everywhere, or Austin drove me.
"You're all grown up," Dad says, standing. I smile, unsure of what to say.
"You nervous?"
I nod, doubtful that I can form any more words without puking.
When we arrive at the high school, we park and walk in. My dad talks to the secretary about senior enrollment and blah-blah-blah, but I can't concentrate on anything she says. Then she hands my schedule, I take my stuff to my locker, and I'm off to my first class: geography.
I find the classroom and hesitate before knocking. Knocking means beginning my life as a student in Oklahoma, like I was back in Kindergarten. I take a deep breath, letting my fist tap hardly against the wooden door, and it opens just a few moments later.
The teacher, Mrs. Smithson, stands before me with a smile on her face.
"Hi," she says, extending her hand, "you must me Lexi!"
I smile and grip her fingers. "That's me," I exclaim, suddenly getting a boost of confidence.
"Well, welcome to my class, Lexi. I'm Mrs. Smithson."
I'm extremely grateful that at least my first teacher is nice. But then I'm mortified as the teacher grabs ahold of my arm and leads my to the front of the class, standing in front of the entire room of bored-looking teenagers. The classes were much smaller in New Zealand, and I feel my confidence boost quickly draining away.
"Class, this is Lexi, and she's a new student here. Where are you from, Lexi?"
I give a small smile. "I just moved from New Zealand."
All across the classroom, expressions suddenly turn less bored and I hear many "No way!"s and "Really?"s and "Cool!"s.
"Very interesting," Mrs. Smithson laughs. "Lexi, why don't you go take the seat in the back next to Morgan?"
She points to a skinny blonde girl with a blue streak in her hair, who smiles and gives me a small wave. I walk towards the seat, which of course is in the back, so all eyes are on me. But I keep my head up and stride to the back corner, sitting down next to the girl, Morgan.
"Hi," she says quietly as Mrs. Smithson begins to teach the lesson. "I'm Morgan."
"Lexi," I reply, grinning.
"So...you're actually from New Zealand? That's really cool."
I nod, swallowing the lump forming in my throat. "I moved there when I was six."
"Do you miss it?"
I nod again, unable to explain how much I miss New Zealand without bursting into tears. "A lot," I say.
She gives me another friendly smile, and then says, "Hey, show me your schedule. I can see if we have any more classes together."
I dig out the slip of paper and hand it to her.
"Yep," Morgan confirms. "English and science."
•••
The next few hours pass relatively uninteresting, everyone reacting the same about my previous residence. And before I know it, it's lunchtime. I find my way to the cafeteria, walking alone but following the crowd, and stand in line for my food. Once I receive my salad, I look around for empty seats at tables. This is one of my least favorite feelings, not having a place to sit at lunch. Especially when you're new and don't know anyone.
I begin making my way to an empty table in the back, but then Morgan waves me over to her table. I hurry toward her gratefully.
"Hey, I saved you a seat," she tells me. "I know it's hard when you're new and don't have a place to sit."
My heart swells with gratitude toward her.
"Thank you," I say sincerely, taking a seat and looking around at her friends, waiting to be introduced.
I come to know Claire, a girl with dark brown eye and the same color hair pulled into a bun; Haley, a pretty African-American girl with straightened black hair and smooth skin; and Jordan, a redhead with freckles and chocolate eyes.
About ten minutes into our lunch period, Jordan leans across the table. "So, what was New Zealand like?"
Oh, great. I shut my eyes, telling myself not to get emotional.
"Um...well, it's really beautiful," I begin. "It had a lot of beaches and mountains and lakes and trees. The oceans are really clear. There's so much to do there-it's kind of hard to explain."
I want to say more but I'm afraid I'll start tearing up, and obviously I don't want that. The girls smile at me, and Morgan faces me.
"Hey," she says, "there's a party at my house tonight. My parents are out of town, so it's just me and my sister. You should come!"
I look down at my untouched food. "Well...I don't know..."
"Seriously," Morgan continues. "Come. It's Friday. You'd get to know people better, plus it'll be fun."
I shrug. Maybe she's right. Maybe I should get to know people, open up, let them know me.
"Okay," I say. "I'll ask my parents."
Morgan gives me one of her cheery smiles. "What's your number? I'll text it to you and give you the details."
I check my phone to see my number-I don't yet have my new one memorized-and she enters it into her contacts.
"Um...well, thanks for the invite," I say.
"We're all coming," Haley exclaims excitedly, indicating the girls at our table. "Hope to see you there!"
We indulge in chatter for a few more minutes, and I begin to like the girls I'm sitting with. Claire is shy but sweet. Haley is kind and funny. And Morgan is my favorite. She's bubbly, sweet, and just a nice person, I can already tell. But Jordan is the only one I'm not sure about. She seems too fake, somewhat jealous, maybe too much bragging. Though I consider myself extremely lucky to be included in such a good group on my first day.
•••
After lunch, I head to science and claim a seat by Morgan. I'm getting many of the "new-girl" stares from other people, causing me to feel self-conscious.
"I really hope you can come tonight," Morgan murmurs to me in the middle if class.
"Me too," I say, and I'm surprised to find I'm being honest.
When the bell finally rings at the end of the day, signaling that everyone can go home, I hurry to my locker to get my bag and rush to get to my dad's car before many people can see that I'm a loser senior that doesn't have a car of my own. But before I can get to the school's front doors, I hear someone shout my name.
"Hey! Lexi!"
I turn, expecting Morgan, but instead I see Haley on her way to me. I smile, stopping and waiting.
"Hi, Haley," I say.
"Are you going to come to Morgan's party tonight?" Haley asks.
"I'll try," I answer. "I want to, but my parents might want me to help around the house. We're still trying to get settled in."
"How long have you been here?"
I shrug, having lost count and forgotten the day we came. "Almost a week, I think."
"Do you like it here?"
Again, I shrug. "I don't know. It's okay, I guess, just different, and not as exciting. I really miss New Zealand."
"Yeah."
We are nearing the pick-up loop, and when I stop, Haley gives me a questioning look.
"Aren't you going to the student parking lot?" she asks.
"No, I don't have a car yet so my dad is picking me up."
"Oh, okay." Haley smiles at me. "Well, see you later, I hope!"
"Yeah, I hope so, too. Bye Haley!"
She walks on ahead, and I see my dad pulling into the school. I hurry and jump into his car, eager to avoid any more embarrassment.
•••
"Hey Lex! How was school?"
"Just drive," I demand. "I'll tell you about it in a minute."
Dad looks at me questioningly, but obeys my order. Once on the road, he asks, "Is something wrong?"
"No, I just don't want a lot of people seeing me get picked up by me dad."
"Oh, okay. So how was school?"
"It was good, actually. A lot different, but okay."
"Did you make any friends?"
"Yeah, four. Morgan, Haley, Claire, and Jordan."
We talk the whole way home, my dad and I, about numerous things having to do with school. When we reach our house, I go into the study where Mom is writing-she's an author-and tell her about my day, too. She's excited and proud of me; I decide that it's a good time to mention the party.
"So Mom, I was wondering...my new friend Morgan is having a party tonight, and she wants me to come."
She looks at me. "Do you want to go?"
"Yeah, kind of."
"You sure? Honestly?"
I nod.
"Well," Mom says, "I think it's a great opportunity for you to open up and get to know people before school next week. I think it's a good idea."
"So I can go?"
"I think so, if you want to."
A few minutes later, I hurry to my room and check for texts from Morgan. She's sent me her address, the time, and what I should wear.
For some reason, since it's totally unlike me, I feel excited.