I woke up with a lovely feeling inside. It wasn't Christmas day or the first day of the school holiday, but the expectation, anticipation and promise were all there. A childish excitement churned in my stomach, and I'd no idea why. I lay still for a bit and enjoyed the feeling.
I pulled my half dead arm out from under the pillow. A stiff and sleepy hand clutched something hot, small and round. I stared, my mind a void.
The rune.
I jumped up, tossing it on the bed, and allowed my breath to exit slowly through clenched teeth. It sunk into the duvet; spiral glaring back.
Obviously, I had dreamt I'd carefully locked 'it' away in my desk drawer before I got into bed last night.
Heart stupidly thudding in my ears, I grabbed my un-ironed uniform off the desk chair. I dressed quickly to avoid the chill in the air; half expected the spiral to jump up in my face. Hobbling on one leg whilst pulling on a sock, I began to see the funny side. There was always an earthly answer. I pocketed the offending object. It was still warm.
It had to be Robbie. I jogged down the narrow stairs to confront my brother via the medium of Mum. He'd been known to explore my room looking for answers to the mysteries of women contained in various magazines. If Robbie was invading my space again, clearly he'd issues Mum should know about.
"Mum, Robbie's been in my room," I shouted, throwing the kitchen door open and storming into the room.
Mum turned, 'shhhed' me and then covered the receiver. "It's you aunt Tracey," she mouthed with a look of resignation.
I sat down at the table and tried to ignore Mum's constant, 'umm I know', at her bossy older sister. Robbie tilted his bowl for the last of the milk and concentrated until every last drop dribbled on the spoon.
"I haven't been in your room. What've you lost now?" he said.
"Nothing."
Robbie's eyes looked innocently questioning.
I sighed. "Well, actually, a small memento I took from Gam's moved around in the night. Do you know anything about it?"
"Nope," he said, tossing the spoon down with a sharp clink on the china. "I can't afford distraction if we're going to beat The Angles after school."
"Can't argue with that," I said, wondering what to eat. My eyes flicked back to Robbie for any look of guilt or sadistic pleasure. None. He was barely interested, probably dreaming about the win that never came when you're bottom of the bottom league.
He snapped back to the present as I sat down. "So, what did you take? I thought Shelly got all the good stuff," he said without a flicker of feeling. Robbie had done quite well out of Gam, being left a collection of war medals and several old books on the history of Britain.
Forgetting suspicions regarding Robbie, I glanced over at Mum, who was still absorbed with Tracey. "I took what I thought was one of Gam's runes, just to remember her by," I whispered feeling disloyal to Mum even mentioning it.
"Oh yeah," he looked freshly intrigued, "the round things with markings on them, I remember. Gam freaked mum out one Christmas messing about. Never saw them after that. What did you choose? Do you know what it means?"
I shook my head. "I googled it to death last night and it turns out it's not even a proper rune."
"It could be a spiritual message from Gam," he said, wide-eyed and completely insincere.
I stared back. The stupid suggestion appealed to my overactive imagination and need for reassurance.
Cornflakes finished, Robbie pushed the chair out and picked up his football kit.
"Good luck," I said warmly. "I hope you win today and get man of the match."
Robbie gave me the two-fingered sign.
I sat up straight and stuck my nose in the air. "Charming, I actually meant it." The positive feeling towards my family must have been caused from waking up all Christmassy.
"Yeah right," he said heading out the door. Never needing reassurance, Robbie left without even glancing at mum.
I could feel the un-rune heating up against the thin silky fabric of my trouser pocket lining.
Mum returned to the sink and pulled on the rubber gloves with aggravation.
"Well, the solicitor managed to track her down yesterday." She picked up a crumb-covered plate."
"Who?" I said, though I knew exactly whom she meant.
"Gladys Jones," Mum began hastily washing up. "The last time we saw her was at Great Aunt Minty's birthday and that was just after you were born so, over sixteen years ago," she shook her head, "so, I still don't understand why Jasmine Cottage was left to Gladys."
"Maybe they wrote to each other." I poured orange juice in the last clean glass and took a multi-vitamin out of the tub.
"No, Minty never mentioned her and Gladys' address wasn't in the book otherwise we'd have invited her to the funeral. We thought she was dead."
The sloshing and clanging suggested Mum was more than a little irritated. I smugly realised the subject no longer bothered me. Evidently, I'd grown in character overnight.
"Your Aunt Tracey also says Shelly's box of jewellery is worth a lot of money."
My stomach lurched. I didn't want to know anymore, but mum hadn't finished.
"Hum, fancy that. I didn't think my aunt approved of Shelly because of the way that girl treats her stepsister. It still makes me angry you weren't left anything."
I sat, silent and acidic.
"Can you start wiping up, Minta? I'm late for work."
Begrudgingly, I took the tea towel off the chair. I wondered how I could change my name without it seeming like sour grapes? Maybe I needed to work on my character after all.
"So what are you going to do after school?" Mum said, passing me a soapy plate.
Since Gam had gone, options were limited. Zara would carefully expel hours of effort on coursework and my few other friends worked various shops. Mum frequently suggested I follow their example, but I'd yet to be convinced.
"I might wrap presents." I only had four, actually, now three. The beautiful amethyst stone I found for Gam in a second hand shop in Lyme Regis would probably remain in the bottom of my draw, forever. Plate dried, I waited hand out for the next one. "Or I might see if Zara wants to come over."
Mum sighed. "Have you done all your shopping? That's good. I'm back in again this afternoon, I still have a few stocking bits to get." She lent over and nudged my hip with hers, troubles forgotten. Mum looked forward to Christmas - like a five year old. Whatever money she had left over after bills went on Christmas and on us.
I tried not to look too concerned. "Don't go overboard. We're too old for that."
She smiled a know it all smile. "You're still my babies and I'm still Santa. Like it or not."
I grinned; wishing things were a bit easier. Just a small windfall, I wasn't greedy. The money Gam had left Mum had gone towards fixing the roof before the money had even hit the bank. There was never anything left for fun. We finished the rest of the washing-up in comfortable silence and my blip into eternal bitterness ebbed away as I day dreamed about Christmas.
*
The winter's wind managed to edge its way up my sleeves as Zara and I sat on the bench. I sighed and hugged my arms close before finally answering her.
"I washed my face in antiseptic. I told you yesterday, I'd never seen this girl before." I squinted in reflexion, and because the wind had dried my eyes out. "Which is strange, she said she was local and didn't look much older then me."
"Perhaps she went to a private school." Zara spoke whilst reading a physics book and eating a sandwich. She was clever enough to do this. "You can't seriously expect to know everyone." She threw an unwanted crust to a depressed looking pigeon. "Anyway, you attract weird people Minta, you did on holiday in Lime Regis. Remember that old crow in the gift shop? I swear she was trying to get my mum to leave you behind. Change of subject, did you get anything in the mail, you know from Gam's solicitor."
I shook my head. "Nope, not even a postcard and that's the end of it now. Mum thinks I'm bothered."
"Well you are," she said matter-of-factly.
I shifted uncomfortably. "Well, yes. But not because I didn't get the cottage."
She looked at me over her glasses, her hair clipped tightly back by two pink hairgrips. "I know; you're just pissed off that your cousin had the jewellery and stuff."
"No," I said shaking my head, "I'm annoyed Shelly thinks I'm miffed. I really don't care what she got." I thought for a second. This was mostly true.
We stopped talking, taking a moment to watch the hardened footballers struggle on the frosty lawn. Robbie, in goal, flung himself the wrong way as the ball came towards him. I sniggered and nudged Zara, but her eyes lingered wistfully as Pete from our class did a goal scoring victory dance.
She sighed and wiped her steamed up glasses with her scarf. "What I wouldn't give to have his pelvis wiggling like that up against mine on the dance floor."
I giggled. "Be realistic, we'll be the two of the last girls in the year grinding hips with boys."
"Speak for yourself Minta. I'm not giving up."
The Six Form Centre's door swung open.
"Talk of the devil," I said nudging Zara again.
My cousin Shelly descended the stairs chatting happily to her devoted masses. She'd re-dyed her hair. The platinum blond suited her sharp feature, but made her look harsh. George, or Gorgeous George, as we year elevens liked to call him, followed closely behind. He grinned at something Shelly was saying and my heart sank. I didn't mind not having the college form stud as a boyfriend, but I'd die if Shelly did.
"Hello Mini-Minty. Recovered from yesterday? It was hard going all that sorting out." Shelly stopped in front of me. This was a new thing; she'd never acknowledged our connection before.
My eyes flicked to George, who'd actually smiled at me. Pathetically weak all over, I knew my face would be exhibiting the 'school-girl-meets-pop-star' look, and my mind ran over the grinding hips conversation with Zara. What I wouldn't give for a date with George.
Shelly's face loomed over me. "Earth to Mini-Minty."
"Um, sorry, what did you say?" I took a step back.
"Yesterday, sorting out the cottage. I didn't realise the old girl had so many knick-knacks." She laughed and so did her friends. This was obviously not a new subject for them. "Thought you handled it very well," she said, adjusting the bag on her shoulder. Head tilted sideways and eyes wide open, Shelly looked suitably pained, on my behalf.
"Yes, well, I'll miss her." I didn't know where this conversation was going; Shelly did.
"I know, Minta darling, I was thinking that if you wanted to come over and choose one of the larger size rings Great Aunt Minty left me, I'd part with one, because I think it's so unfair you were left nothing."
There were titters of "how lovely", "how kind" and, my personal favourite, "oh Shelly you shouldn't".
I stared at her then forced a smile.
"Thanks Shell, it's nice of you, but I can't help thinking its Great Aunt Minty's wish," I said mirroring her head tilt. "I'd better not."
Zara sniggered behind me.
George nodded, "I know what you mean. Someone's final request is sacred and shouldn't be messed with." He smiled again and my heart melted. He was a good guy, genuine and kind; too nice for Shelly.
Shelly raised her eyebrows and smiled a hollow grin.
"It was simply a thought," she said raising her hand and wiggling her fingers in goodbye.
As Shelly moved off, I noticed she was holding George's arm. He seemed to have no problem with it. He waved and winked at me before turning back to answer Shelly's whisper in his ear. I sighed and tried not to think bad thoughts about Shelly.
"Minta?"
I look at Zara innocently. I couldn't help my long-standing George habit, but spoke before Zara had chance. "Am I being mean, but was that conversation purely to make me feel-,"
"Stupid, pathetic and unloved? No. It was to make Shelly feel superior in front of her friends," Zara finished for me. "Anyway, I was going to ask; have you got your charm thing? I've had a thought since town yesterday."
"Yes." I struggled to pull the disc out of my tight trouser pocket. "I seem to always have it on me."
Zara whipped it out of my hand and stared down at it over her glasses whilst tracing the symbol with her finger. "I know we said it couldn't be a pendant, but what about a bit of a board game?"
"I don't know. I told you, it was in the same bag as the runes, but it must have got muddled up."
"It's a shame your mum ditched Minty's books on all things supernatural and strange."
I shook my head again. "Actually, Mum and Tracey left all the books. They got fed up sorting it all out. I'd have taken a few, but... well, you know Mum."
She looped her arm through mine. "Are you really alright though?"
I appreciated her concern in a way I couldn't from Mum or Rob. "I think so. I need time to get over her going. I didn't realise how often I visited her until I realised I've nothing to do."
Zara squeezed my arm, "We'll have to do more stuff together."
I tried to smile; knowing Zara's idea of fun was revising. Still... "Ta Zar, I appreciate it."
*
First into the tutor room, Zara and I found our way to the back and sank onto seats in front of the radiator. It was at best lukewarm, but it was better than the front of the room and the long run of single glazed windows.
The class filled quickly, with everyone desperate to come in from the cold. As Zara happily read, I allowed my eyes to wonder around, watching the faces of students I'd known for years. I liked to guess the type of day they were having by their expressions. Sometimes I almost believed I could tell what they were thinking. I picked up words from conversations about the traumas of the dinner-hall, the conflicts of failed relationships and demands of the class heavies. There was a clear pecking order and luckily, Zara and I seemed to be somewhere in the middle, not bullied but accepted. I often felt sorry for the few in my class who were taunted and frequently rejected, but I felt powerless to do anything about it.
Red faced from football, Pete came in last, noisily fooling around as he past Mrs Winter's desk. She called for quiet, and Pete flashed her a smile. She rolled her eyes. It was easy to like Pete, in spite of his tendency to play class joker. I might've attempted to get closer to him if, one: I thought there was a chance, and two: I didn't know Zara liked him a whole lot more.
"Budge over Dull and Duller." Tammy and Marie stood over us. They were less orange than usual. Foundation couldn't cover cold blue skin, resulting from being scantily clad in mid-December.
I looked up and smiled. Tammy wasn't one to be messed with and the only other empty seats in the class were at the front so that meant...
"Come on, you two don't need to sit at the back, you have no interest in chatting, re-applying makeup or texting. Let's be fair, move."
The request was polite, the look, cutting.
Zara glanced up from her book. "Tammy, it's a ten minute session, give it a rest."
Tammy glanced at Marie. I felt uncomfortable. If we didn't move it would mean weeks of bitching. Tammy's low level harassing had riled me over the past four and a half years; it really wasn't worth the aggravation. If I'd learnt something in that time, it was pick your battles.
"Come on Zar, I'm over-heating," I said, making a move.
Zara sighed and glared at me, not breaking eye contact as she put her book away and picked her bag off the table.
Smirking, Marie sat down before I'd even moved out of the way, her knees pushing into the back of my legs. "There's a good girl," she said sweetly.
I swallowed down a strong wave of dislike. Turning back, I smiled dryly, hoping they felt the full impact of the schools unreliable central heating system.
Zara didn't look at me. We spent the next ten minutes in silence, but in all fairness, this was nothing unusual. Zara often ignored me for the good of our education.
As Mrs Winter finished the register, she beckoned me over with an expression that said, 'you're not in trouble, but...'. Hoping everyone was too busy to notice I casually wandered up, trying not to stand too close. However, she patted the slightly crumpled paper in front of her with wide eyes, asking me if I recognised it.
"Oh that," I said chewing my lip. "I've nearly finished."
"Araminta Hardwick!" Mrs Winter looked down at the barely started careers booklet and shook her head. "I'm hoping that's not the case. Surely you've got more of an idea of what you might like to do when you've finished your exams?"
At least half the class hadn't a clue. Why she was picking on me? I bet they'd just filled in any old crap about the future. But I couldn't, I was still searching for what on earth I wanted to do. Fabricating wasn't going to help. It'd make my pointless existence seem even more pointless.
My eyes quickly shifted around the room. No one seemed to be paying us any attention.
"Araminta, are you listening?"
"No Miss. Yes!" I jumped back to the conversation, "What was the question?"
My turn to receive the Winter-eyeball-roll. "Araminta, you can be so sharp in English, when you've actually read the book, and I know your history teacher feels the same. Why is it that at other times you're away with the fairies, in another world almost?"
I'd no idea. Yes I did. I focused when I was actually interested in what was being said. I didn't voice this.
Mrs Winter coughed at the back of her throat and swallowed. She was thinking of how to be diplomatic. I chewed the skin inside the bottom of my lip and waited.
"I think, despite some of your teachers reports, you could stay on and study English and History."
I wanted to ask whose reports? Instead, I kept the vacant look and shifted the weight beneath my feet. The bell rang and chairs began to scrape the floor.
"Araminta, please give this some more thought before you hand it back in. Your future's important and you're a bright girl, really."
I couldn't tell if she was trying to convince, herself or me. We both looked around as a sudden whooshing noise, followed by high-pitched shrieks, silenced everyone. I was just in time to see the back row of kids dashing away, folders flying. Rust coloured water sprayed out from the decrepit radiator at the back of the room. But Tammy and Marie hadn't escaped. The water had stopped as quick as it started and the noise was replaced by loud hysterical sobs from the wet and very, very orange, girls.
Mrs Winter put her hand over her mouth as the class erupted with laughter, me included. "Oh Goodness," she said, as Tammy and Marie shot passed us, make-up streaming down their faces in a sort of orange, panda, Goth style.
Mrs Winter got up and hastily followed them. Laughing continued as students left the room, and it seemed the rusty rain disturbed no one else. Just as I decided Mrs Winter wasn't coming back to finish my 'talking to', a humble Zara ambled over, holding out my bag and coat.
"Ok you win. I'm glad we moved." She punched me with a friendly fist as we walked.
I rammed my hands deep in my pockets. "I've never known a radiator to do that before." The cold hit me as we passed through the open door. The grey blanket sky promised snow soon.
"No," said Zara very seriously, "but I couldn't have wished it on a better couple."
She laughed again.
Awkwardly dressed and messy haired Iona brushed my arm as she passed. I hardly knew her but, a strange feeling of sharing someone else's euphoria washed over me.
"A magical moment," she whispered to no one in particular.
The words jarred and I shivered. My fingers curled around the small object in my pocket. The spiral disc was feeling exceptionally warm.
*************
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