This OneShot is about you being Alex' girlfriend and you're on tour with them. While being on stage Alex get an anxiety attack and you help him through it.
Hope you like it :)
I am on tour with All Time Low. Why? Cause Lead singer Alex Gaskarth is my boyfriend. We're together for a few years now and since I have graduated college I took some time off to join the guys on tour.
What should I say? I totally love it! Tour life is brilliant! You can do whatever, whenever and wherever you want and there are always people around to party with. I love Alex to death and it's heavenly to spend nearly every waking moment with him. We're inseparable. It annoys some of the guys but... whatever!
There aren't many girls on tour so I'm treated like a princess and I enjoy it. It's cool to always have some guy holding doors open for you, letting you win at games, getting you your drink or giving you a piggy back ride. Alex tells me to use the guys as much as I want to as long as I won't fall in love with anyone other than him. It's great how much he trusts me but sometimes I wished he'd be a bit more... possessive over me. I like it when he gets a bit jealous and shows the guys who I belong to. Sadly that doesn't happen that often, but it's okay... If I want to snog with him I just have to do it and he always accepts it happily. Somehow it still turns me a bit on when he gets angry and pulls me away from the guys to pin me down somewhere and kiss me in front of all of them and sucks love bites into my skin...
But that's a whole other story.
Right now I'm with Vinny at the merch table right outside the big hall All Time Low is playing. Since everyone has to do some job when they want to tour with All Time Low, I made it my work to help Vinny out. The job is nice. Vinny and I get along pretty well and I don't have to carry around heavy things. Other than that it's cool, cause while they play, we have nothing much to do and most times we can watch and hear them from where we're standing. So as always we're goofing around, jumping and belting out the lyrics together.
An older man comes up to our stand and chuckles at our behaviour.
"Sorry, can I get something for my daughter now?", he asks still chuckling.
Vinny nods and I laugh a bit, but calm down: "Of course! What do you want?"
Vinny points out the different shirts. He tells him which ones are real All Time Low merch and what is from Glamour Kills. The man seems a bit confused.
"Ahhh... I just want to make her happy... Why is it so hard?", he sighs and I giggle.
"How old, size and her favourite band member", I smile and the man looks at me: "Fifteen, I guess small and... what's the name of the guitarist? The one with the skunk hair?"
"Jack", Vinny smiles.
"Yeah right. Him."
"Soo... either you get her a shirt from this tour or this one", I point to the JAGK shirt from Glamour Kills.
"Uhm... then...", he still seems undecided.
"I'd go with the Jagk one... Always good for a Jack-Fan", Vinny smiles and picks one out of a box.
"Okay, then I'll get it. Thanks", the dad smiles relieved and hands us the dollar notes. We thank him politely and watch him go back to stand at the edge of the crowd.
"So... How are things with you and Alex?", Vinny leans against the wall and looks me up and down.
"Pretty good, why?", I ask back and hop onto the table. He sends me a little glare. He doesn't like it when I do that.
"Just asking if he treats you right."
I giggle and nod: "It's great to be his girlfriend."
"You're really cute together... never thought this boy could actually be in a monogamous relationship... But well, you proved me wrong", he chuckles and I smile at him.
"Yeah... Hadn't thought it would last that long either. I think Alex and I were both kinda surprised when we had our third anniversary a few weeks ago", I answer.
"If you want to know: The whole crew thinks you two are perfect for each other", Vinny says and I blush a bit.
Suddenly the music stops and I turn around to get a look at the stage. I see Alex standing right in front of Rians drums. He stares and suddenly runs off stage.
"What the hell is happening there?", Vinny asks confused but curious.
"I have an idea... shit... I'm sorry, Vinny", I say as I jump of the table and run down a hall. I search for my way and run through some doors until I'm right beside the stage.
Danny is crouching down next to Alex and talks to him. I run over and fall to my knees right next to them.
"What's up? Alex, are you alright?", I pant and look down at him. He sits down just like he just sunk down to his knees at some point and fists his hands in his hair. I immediately recognize this and I know everyone around us does too. It doesn't happen too often anymore. Alex told me it was worse when he was younger. His anxiety attacks are rare but they are strong.
"I'm sorry, he just collapsed next to me. He doesn't seem to hear me", Danny explains to me and I nod at him.
"It's okay, just... just let me take care of him. You worry about the show", I say and he nods hesitantly. I look back at the stage. We're just about something between five to ten meters from the stage. Alex just made it so far the fans wouldn't see him. I see Jack looking worriedly over. I send him a tight lipped smile to show him I got his best friend. He nods and walks over to Rian and Zack to talk to them.
"Alex... Alex... Hey Alexander", I mumble near his ear so he will hear me. I don't know why but sometimes it soothes him when I refer to him by his full name.
"Alexander... Look at me", I demand softly from him.
He doesn't respond to it, so I sit down. I know I have to be patient with him to get through his bubble.
I blank out all the people rushing around us.
"Lex... May I touch you?", I ask. I don't want to scare him with anything. As long as we don't know what triggered this, I have to be extra careful.
When he still doesn't seem to hear me, I get closer but I don't touch him.
"Alexander William Gaskarth... You were born in England, you're 25 years old and live now in Baltimore, Maryland. Since high school you're in a band with your three best mates, All Time Low. Right now you tour through America. About three years ago we met at a game of the Baltimore Ravens. We love each other since then. I love you. Since last year we live together in your house and we have a cute little dog named Sebastian... You remember him? He licks your face every morning until you wake up", I tell him softly. I don't know why, but rambling about some facts around his life sometimes gets him out of his bubble... or gets you in... Don't really know which one is true.
"N-no... You kiss me till... till I-I am awake", he stutters quietly.
"Right", I giggle lightly and ask him again: "May I touch you?"
"Y-yeah."
I softly touch his back and run my hand down his spine. My next goal is to get him to release his tight grip on his hair. He's going to pull some strands out if he keeps tugging at it. So I run my hand up his neck and into his soft hair.
"Everything's alright, Alex...", I murmur and softly begin to run my fingers through his hair, at least as good as I can.
"N-no", I hear him.
"What's wrong baby?"
"M-my h-heartbeat... M-my ears... my head... numb", he mutters.
I can guess what this is about... He just got overwhelmed with something. Maybe being on stage, the loud music, the fans and... I don't know, maybe he was just stressed and it triggered his attack.
"Shhh... Lexy... shhhh", I say softly. Again I run my fingers through his hair and stop at one of his hands.
"Let go, Alex... It'll help... Let go of the pressuring feeling... Nobody wants to harm you", I whisper softly. His grip actually loosens a bit but not enough. I start to massage the back of his hands and he gasps, but then an exhausted sigh escapes him.
"Numb", he whispers back and I get what he wants to say.
He feels numb. Mostly he gets this feeling in his hands. So I continue to massage his hands and the more I do it, the more his grip loosens. At some point his hands lay flat on his head and slowly I guide them out of his hair and interlace my fingers with his.
"Look at me, Alex", I demand once again. He shakes his head.
I sigh silently. This is exhausting for both of us. It's hard for me to see him like this. Doesn't matter how often it happens.
I do the only thing coming to my mind and start kissing his temple. He goes stiff for a second but then another sigh escapes his mouth.
"Ears", he mumbles into his knees. His face still buried against his jean clad knees.
I wander up and over and place kisses all over his ear. I move behind his ear to the All Time Low skull.
"Better", he whispers again and I smile against his skin.
"What else?", I ask.
"My heartbeat", he says a bit louder this time. Good sign.
"Give me your hand", I instruct him. He obeys and even looks up a bit. I can see him peek at me and smile warmly at him. I guide his hand to my chest and place it right over my heart.
"Feel my heartbeat?", I ask and he nods.
"Okay... Just... just feel it, yeah? And breath with me... In.... Out... In", and so on. We do this for maybe a minute and Alex relaxes more and more. Another minute and he can sit up properly and falls against me.
I hold him close to me and kiss his hair and what I can reach of his face.
"How long was I out?", he mumbles softly against my chest.
"Don't know...", I answer truthfully and look around for someone. I see Danny walking by and looking at us with a relieved smile.
"Dan? How long?", I ask him.
"About five minutes... Everything alright again, Alex?"
Alex pulls away from me and rubs a hand over his face: "Yeah... I'm sorry..."
"No harm done, buddy... Well... maybe Jack destroyed some eardrums with his awful screeching but...", Dan laughs lightly.
Alex chuckles softly with him and I smile at him. If he's able to smile and chuckle he's truly through his attack.
"Gotta save them, huh?", he asks and Dan waves off: "They seem happy with it... Take your time, mate."
"Thanks", he smiles and Danny leaves us alone again.
"It's so embarrassing", Alex confesses quietly.
"There's nothing to be embarrassed about, Lexy..."
He smiles at me and wraps his arms around me. After the hug we stand up and he's still a bit shaky. I hold him for a second and look at his face. He breathes deeply in and out and has his eyes closed.
"Still dizzy", he explains and takes another deep breath. I nod even though he can't see it and just wait for him to get back to his usual strength. Once he opens his eyes he looks out at the stage and waves at Zack. Zack seems relieved and walks over to the middle to talk to Jack.
"Thanks... and sorry you have to put up with me... I love you so much", Alex whispers and leans down.
"Love you more", I mumble against his lips and feel him smile.
"Impossible", he smiles and his lips brush against mine while he talks. His smile reaches his eyes and they sparkle with happiness. It's wonderful how fast he can recover from such an attack.
"Prove it", I smirk back.
"Will do once we're back on the bus", he grins cheekily and smacks my butt lightly. I giggle against his lips and he finally places a soft and loving kiss on my lips.