"Are you still pouting?"
I clenched my jaw, refusing to respond. How did she even find me here? No, honestly, that was a stupid question. Instead of pondering unreachable answers I focused harder on the circle of men and women in the center of the human sector.
"So they saw your tits. Half the camp has seen them. Like that time you zonked out on three bottles of NyQuil and woke up tangled in the perimeter fence? You were buck ass naked then."
My resolve not to look at her broke with a nervous whimper. "That wasn't me, Princess, that was you." She hung upside down from the neighboring branch, dressed in gray plaid pants and a skin tight tank top with Wile E Coyote sprawled across her breasts. How and where she found these outfits was still a mystery to the majority of us.
Princess grinned at me, purple lipstick actually complimenting her black gums. "Ah see, that's much more embarrassing. Feel better yet?"
"No," I grumbled, looking away before she saw the corner of my mouth twitch.
She shrugged, blowing a massive bubble of gum that predictably popped over her nose and forehead. Where the hell did she find gum? It smelled like bubbalicious watermelon. Now I wanted gum.
"So," she said around the gum, "I analyzed your sweat sample in my lab."
'Lab' was a creative term for the tool shed she'd commandeered, filling it with more equipment than Kit swore the camp possessed. Princess did quite a few salvage operations on her own time, though she never used the camp vehicles. There were a lot of unknown variables in the woman's activities, which was why she continually made the humans a bit nervous.
"Find anything interesting?" Not that she would share. She kept a lot of information close to the vest, calling it leverage. Mostly, it just made us want to throttle her.
She clucked her tongue, blowing another bubble. "Inconclusive. Don't suppose you could cry for me?"
I frowned at her. In the past couple weeks, she'd taken tissue and various bodily fluid samples from the lot of us, trying to map the progress of our regeneration. "I don't think I can cry yet. I didn't think I could sweat until this morning," I said.
"Well, think of something really sad, like kicking puppies sad," said Princess.
"Yeah, I can't think sad thoughts on demand, chief," I said, my expression deadpan. Why was she bothering me anyway? Ginger was the most developed out of the lot of us. Didn't she sweat? I'd have to ask Fred. That thought was almost cry worthy.
I forced my attention back to the gathered humans, meeting in secret, in their strictly human ward.
The humans of Fort Braydon were marvelously forward thinking in their handling of the Revived. They didn't shoot us on sight for one thing, but while they were relatively used to our presence and worked with us day in and out, there were still a few hurdles the human survivors contended with. They didn't want to sleep in the same area as the reformed undead.
I couldn't hold it against them since most of the newbies were comprised of the zombies that had circled Braydon for years, picking off the lax soldier every few months. Kit once admitted to me he kept such a close eye on Curley because he recognized our big bald friend from a bad salvage run that cost him two of his men. That kind of history made 'forgive and forget' pretty much impossible but they tried.
Petra stood front and center, facing off with her brother, her arms clasped tightly behind her back. Her features were a brilliant imitation of a marble bust, I couldn't read shit off of her, but if Kit's wild gesticulating was any indication, they were having a big bru ha over there. What I wouldn't give for elevated hearing in my arsenal of perks, but as far as super powers went, we were pretty gypped in that department. Superman we ain't.
"You want to know what they're saying at the big kids' table, don't you?"
"You can kindly piss off now," I said, shifting my weight on the branch. Sending in Lannie to spy was a passing thought, but her grasp on vocabulary was still shaky at best. Charades was exhausting.
"Fine, grumpy pants, I won't tell you. Though, you should totes ask resting bitchy face down there how she got that epic scar on her neck." It wasn't the words but the tone that caught me, reminding me Princess, for all her blather and bullshitting, let a few nuggets of truth slip past her lips.
"What scar-"
Fred popped up through the branches next to me. "You're still up here? So, you flashed them, nothing most of us haven't seen before." He scowled at Princess. "What are you doing up here, Beakman?"
She reached over to tweak his nose. "How long have you been saving that one? I would bet money you've been sitting on that nerdy slur for weeks."
Fred bared his teeth at her in a faint semblance of a grin. "You can leave now."
Princess winked at me over his head. "Nobody wants me. I'm off to the lab then. You should stop by later for story time." There was no warning to her drop, she simply let go, executing a somersault in midair so she landed on her feet. Fred and I both stared at her retreating figure.
"I hate her just a little," I said.
Fred sighed as he crawled up next to me. "I tried that the other day, off the bunker roof."
"How did that go?"
"Remember when I tried to jump the fence in Rochester?"
"That good, huh?"
"Every couple hours, Ginger looks at me and starts laughing." Fred traced his finger along the bark, observing the circle of men and women with me. "I caught a snippet of it while I was looking for you, before Davis and Grant threatened to pistol whip me if I wandered by again."
I smirked. "You mean they caught you eavesdropping?"
"Pfft, I was looking for you, several times, in the same area," he said, flapping a hand at the circle, "Those two can suck it."
"What did you catch?"
He tapped his chin. "I think they were either discussing supplies or board games. Did hear Kit call her a frigid bitch though, so bonus."
I made a face. "That's not very helpful."
"Well, excuse me for not risking a beat down by the trigger happy twins. I'm not immune to pain, Li, and I'm still regrowing an ear from our little morning fiasco, thanks," he said, gesturing to the cauliflower shaped nub growing on the side of his head. That snapper really didn't want to let go.
Ginger spoke up from my other side. "You could-"
Fred emitted a lady-like shriek and fell off the branch, slamming into the ground below with a groan. My shriek was more internal, but I definitely clenched up at her sudden and completely unnoticed close proximity. Neither of us heard her approach or saw her sit beside me. I refused to show how badly she startled me, it was like screaming in the face of a curious tiger.
"It is really unsettling when you do that," I said, proud of myself for not leaning away from her.
Ginger frowned, genuinely puzzled before it dawned on her. She smacked her forehead, lips in a perfect 'o'. "Sorry, sugar, didn't mean to give you a scare."
"It's okay." It was so not okay. The humans were a little freaked out by us and not quite sure we were going to eat them. That summed up my feelings on Ginger. I reflexively cleared my throat to cover the awkward moment. "You were saying?"
"You could ask Princess what they're saying. I saw her hanging up here a bit ago," said Ginger, kicking her legs like a little girl.
"How the hell would she know?"
"Oh, she can read lips. It's gotten us out of a few sticky situations," said Ginger, peering down at the groaning form of Fred. "You alright down there?"
"No," whimpered Fred, shaking his fist at her.
She shrugged and finally, finally, noticed me staring. "What?"
"She can read lips?" That saucy, sneaky, no-good tart.
I jumped down, Ginger landing beside me on the tips of her toes. Show off. Hauling Fred to his feet, I headed for the tool shed, chewing over a few choice words to throw in Princess's face. Everything was a flipping game to her.
Of course, my rant dried up the moment I burst into the relatively crowded space, more crowded than usual with the addition of JD leaning against the lab table, testing the ingenuity of its design with his bulk. Lannie perched on a swivel office chair, glancing up with a smile as we entered.
Princess nodded at me, expecting us. There were crates placed out for us to sit on. "Now that the gang's all here, ready for story time?"