Though it was April, the warmth of spring hadn’t hit them long enough to keep the rain from chilling her to the bone as she sat there on that bench, staring off into the street. She should have seen Miri sooner, should have been more careful about letting Emma know things, and should have seen all of this coming, dammit.
“I sat on this bench the night I found out Lily and James had died.” A voice said. Had it been any other, she wouldn’t have bothered with the effort it took to tear her gaze away from the grey nothingness of the rain-splattered road. Remus took the spot next to her, even though the bench was soaked through and his robes absorbed the water as soon as they made contact with it. He waited for her to respond and she gave him a look that told him she wanted more of an explanation.
“I was working over there,” he nodded towards a small pub a few doors down, “at the time, and someone burst in with the news. Everyone was overjoyed- Voldemort had been defeated- but the only part I heard was that my two best friends were dead.” He said, exhaling heavily when he had finished.
“I’m sorry.” She said.
“I’m sorry.” He said, looking at her now. She bit her lip and put a hand to her forehead.
“They didn’t tell me. They didn’t…they let me just…the bed was empty.” She finally managed to finish the sentence, moving her hand to her mouth, pressed tight against her lips. He was silent for a moment, lost for words. No matter what he could say, he knew that sitting out in the rain would cause more harm than good, so he stood and pulled her up. She didn’t pull away, just let him lead her to the pub and sit her down at one of the tables and came back a minute later with something warm and steaming in a mug. She didn’t even look at what it was before she took a sip, making a face as she burnt her tongue.
“It’s hot.” He said, almost laughing. She cracked a small, joyless sort of smile before leaning back against her chair.
“So what are you going to do?” He asked after another moment, trying to keep her talking instead of letting her fall to the depths of her mind. She took a deep breath.
“I don’t know. I’m going to go to the funeral. Well, that is, if they don’t kick me out.” She said bitterly.
“When is it?”
“In two days, the healer said. Oh, bloody hell, I don’t even know where it is.” She groaned, holding her head in her hands again.
“Perhaps the healer knows.” Remus suggested.
“You’re probably right.” She sighed, taking a cautious sip of her drink. It had cooled enough, and she sipped at it until she saw the bottom of the mug peeking at her.
“We should probably go back.” She said now. He nodded and stood, following her out of the pub.
“One second.” He said. She stopped walking and turned to face him, a questioning look upon her face. He drew her close and kissed her. Ever since Emma had brought everything to light, they’d been spending less time together, being more secretive than before. It felt like ages since he’d been able to be this close to her.
“I’ve missed that.” She smiled.
“Soon we won’t have to.” He reminded her. They were both counting down the days until she graduated.
“Yeah.” She gave him one last smile before falling silent for the rest of the way back to the castle.
~
To her dismay, the healer didn’t know what time or place the funeral would be taking place, and Aurora was beginning to get desperate. She was beating herself up over not being able to say goodbye, and she was determined to do so the only way she had left. Finally, on the eve of the service, she sent a letter to her sister, Lindsay, hoping that she would take pity on the situation and let up. She knew it was a long shot- Lindsay’s adherence to the rules gave Percy Weasley a run for his money- but it was the only shot she had left.
To her surprise, the next morning at breakfast, she had a letter.
Aurora,
Don’t tell mum and dad that I’ve written you, or they’ll be furious. The funeral is today at ten a.m., at the funeral home near Miri’s house. There will be a viewing first, and then the service.
Lindsay
She sprang up suddenly, causing Liam to jump.
“What?” He asked, clueless.
“Lindsay…she actually told me!” She exclaimed, the disbelief evident in her voice.
“Are you going alone?” He asked now. She stopped mid-step.
“Uhm…I don’t…” She stammered, not having given the issue much thought. Liam put down his piece of toast and stood up.
“Let me come with you. Just in case your parents make a scene, or you need a shoulder to cry on. I did know Miri.” He reminded her. She nodded quickly.
“You’re right. We’ll have to miss class…oh…I don’t even know what to-” She started to panic.
“Come on, let’s go get ready. Then we can ask Professor Dumbledore to get us a port key.” Liam took the lead, pulling her gently out of the hall and back towards the common room. They parted ways to change.
The prospect of a funeral frightened her, terribly. Death, in fact, did. She wasn’t afraid of dying herself. It was something she found inevitable, especially with the lack of contact from the madman. She knew he was lying low and that when he did finally strike, it would be big. No, she was afraid because every time she thought about the coming day, she had images flashing through her mind of Miri being tortured, of Felicia falling over, dead. The image of the empty hospital bed haunted her, too- a sign of what she should have done.
~
“Now for the United States of America; what is the capital of New York?” Aurora’s father asked, staring her down. She looked back at him, her boredom evident.
“New York City. Can I go play now, daddy?” She asked, pouting when he ignored her.
“That was an easy one. What’s the capital of North Carolina?” He asked now. She scrunched up her nose in concentration and racked her brains for the answer.
“Charlotte?” She asked, but knew as soon as she answered that she was wrong. Her father’s frown said it all.
“No, Aurora, it’s Raleigh.” He reminded her, the stern tone of his voice enough to make her want to cry.
“Sorry, I got confused…”
“Next one. The capitals of Arizona, Texas, and Washington?” He asked now. The stare he set on her was testing her nerves, keeping her mind from producing any relevant answers.
“You know these. We just went over them yesterday.” He sighed, frustrated. She knew she had to at least attempt an answer. ‘I don’t know’ was not acceptable.
“Phoenix…Dallas? No, wait…it’s Austin.” She answered, correcting herself quickly.
“And Washington?” He prompted.
“Seattle.” She answered.
“No. No. It’s Olympia!” He shook his head and put his fingers to his forehead, disappointed.
“Daddy, can I go and play now?” She pouted again.
“You know that you need to practice your-” He started to say, but Mirielle interrupted him.
“Dad, she’s four years old.”
“And she has a lot more to learn.” He insisted.
“Dad, why does she need to know the capitals of each state of a country we don’t even live in?” Miri argued. Aurora jumped down off of her chair.
“Miri, will you play with me?”
“Of course.” Miri smiled, taking her hand and pulling her out of the room.
"By the way, Dad, the capital of New York is Albany."
~
As soon as Aurora and Liam arrived at the funeral home, she felt the sense of dread make her stomach turn. She felt she would be sick at any provocation. Liam took her arm gently and led her inside, past empty rooms until they came to the glass door that stood open. She could already see her family members inside, gathered around what she knew was the casket.
Liam handed her the quill steadily, and she signed her name into the guestbook with shaking hands. There was a low hum of voices, mingled with the sounds of people sniffling and blowing their noses, while still a few cries sounded. It frightened her.
“Liam, I can’t do this.” She whispered fiercely, knowing it was true.
“If you don’t, you know you’ll regret it.” He reminded her. There were two doors to the large room. One of them opened up to the back of the room, while the other was at the front of the room where the casket lay. They walked slowly into the back door, starting at the far part of the room. Aurora clutched onto his arm for dear life, taking baby steps towards what lie at the end of the room. She could feel eyes on her, but the tears were blurring her vision too badly to let her see whom they belonged to. All she could focus on was the path in front of her- the path that Liam was leading her down, getting closer and closer to the end.
And finally, there it was.
The mortician had done a wonderful job. The hair that had turned grey and white over the course of her torture had been returned to its natural silky brown. Her face had been rejuvenated. Mirielle almost looked like her old self. But she sure as hell didn’t look as though she were sleeping. It was at this point in her thought process that Aurora lost it. She cried loud, ugly tears that left her cheeks red and puffy.
And then she realized: she would never be able to say goodbye.
“Aurora, you made it.” Lindsay greeted her, her voice void of all emotion. Aurora knew that Lindsay would be a mess as soon as she got home and was alone to face it all. Lindsay never wore her heart on her sleeve.
“Yeah.” She managed, sparing a glance for her parents. Her mum was dabbing her eyes with a tissue. Her father had his arms around her, his face like a stone. He met Aurora’s eyes after a moment, the expression on his face not changing. But there was something in his eyes that she couldn’t place. She wondered if he was regretting his decision now that he only had one daughter left. Somehow, she doubted it.
The service was just as hard as the viewing. Somehow, it wasn’t real. She wasn’t really saying goodbye. She knew that it would hit her somewhere down the road when she thought about writing to her sister, seeing her sister.
“How are you holding up?” Liam whispered at one point, his arm around her shoulders. It was comforting and she was grateful that he had decided to come with her.
“It’s not real.” She whispered back, and he nodded, knowing what she meant. Lindsay went up and gave a long-winded, obviously rehearsed speech. Madison went up with Pierre, bringing everyone back to tears while she explained that her mother would be with her again someday, and showing them a picture she’d drawn for her. Finally, Aurora’s mother stood to say a few words, breaking down into tears in the middle and having to take a moment to find her composure.
“We have one more speech, actually.” Her mother said suddenly, locking eyes with Aurora. There was some sort of hatred there, some raw anger lying in wait.
“Mirielle’s other sister, Aurora, would like to say a few words.” She prompted, stepping down from the spotlight. Aurora felt her stomach harden into a knot, and Liam even let out a surprised noise. It was one thing that her mother hadn’t been able to say ‘my other daughter,’ but had resorted to calling her by her relation to the deceased, but another thing entirely to force her to give an impromptu speech in front of a large group of people. She gave her mother a look.
“Well, you wanted to be here so badly- do something.” Her mother hissed, finding her seat. Aurora swallowed hard, her mouth instantly dry. She knew that she could step up and burst into tears, telling them all that it was just too hard and she couldn’t do it. But there was something else in her that wanted to prove them wrong.
“Hello, everyone.” She said, looking around at the vast sea of faces. She could feel her face growing hot with the humiliation that often kept her from public speaking, but she knew she had to press on. Her mind, however, had decided to void itself of all intelligent thought.
“As my…as she said…” she began, not being able to say ‘mother’, “I am Miri’s sister.” She looked around again once more at the expectant faces and took a deep breath. She met Liam’s eyes and he smiled encouragingly.
“Miri was ten years older than I. She always looked after me, sometimes better than anyone else. She’s the one who taught me to stand up for myself, and to follow my own heart. She taught me to live for myself, and not for someone else.” She paused, the fire within her chest burning.
“She didn’t die in vain. If anything, it should remind us that our time here is short and we never know when it’s going to end. So we should make the best of it. That’s all I have to say.” She said, bursting into fresh tears as soon as she ended. Her mother looked stunned. Her father sat like a stone.
By the time they arrived at the cemetery, Aurora had long since become numb to everything around her so that she wondered if she would ever feel again. The air was chilled, but she did nothing to pull her sweater tighter around her arms. Liam put his arm around her shoulders again, leading her to the grave. He handed her a rose and retrieved one for himself as well. She felt a hand grab hers, looking down to see Madison smiling up at her.
“Hey, Maddy.” Aurora managed a smile.
“Hi, Auntie Aurora. I liked your speech.” She said. Aurora wondered if the child fully comprehended what was happening. That her mother would never again tuck her into bed with kisses and a story. That her mother wouldn’t be there when she got married, when she had children of her own. That she had only had five years of memories.
“Thank you, Maddy.”
“Can I come to your house?” Madison asked now.
“I don’t have a house yet, but when I do, I’ll let you come over. How’s that sound?”
“That sounds good.” Madison nodded and stepped away, back to her father, who was unashamedly crying. A wave of guilt swept over her. It had been her fault that Miri had been attacked. She would avenge her sister. It dawned on her for the first time that she had two people on her hit list. Emma would go down hard, but Aurora would make sure that it happened. She knew she couldn’t let anyone in on her desire to get back at Emma. There would be objections. But there would be an end to this, even if Aurora had to die to get it.