Man's love is a man's life a thing apart,
'Tis woman's whole existence. Byron, Don Juan III
The fountains mingle with the river and the rivers with the ocean;
The winds of heaven mix forever with a sweet emotion;
Nothing in the world is single; all things by a law divine,
In one another's being mingle -
Why not I with thine ? Shelly, Love's Philosophy
Latha handed over her charge in Madras. As usual, there was a farewell party. All those who worked in the sections that were under her charge hosted a farewell tea party. This was the custom as she was going on promotion to another station. Speeches were delivered by section heads praising her even temperament and kindness to staff and officers. It brought back to her mind the party that was given when she left as a clerk from the same office to join the service. She felt a fleeting thought of sadness when she remembered that Krishna who helped her and Bhama, could not succeed in the competitive examination and was still working in the same position in that office. She felt thankful to God for her success. Luck or Grace of God as you may view is required to come out meritorious in the competitive examination and secure a good service, as many brilliant students and university gold medalists have found the passage to Service perilous. She replied to the speeches by thanking everyone who gave unstinting cooperation to her and treated her with respect and worked hard to enable her to discharge her duties.
The very next day she left Madras by train to join her post in Bombay. She was received in the station by the logistic persons of the office she was to join. They had reserved a room for her in the guest house near the office. She joined her new post and immediately applied for government quarters. As there was a special pool for lady officers, she got a nice flat, not very far from her office, allotted to her within a month. She made a short trip to Madras and sent her household things of furniture, vessels, boxes, etc by goods train to Bombay. She journeyed back to Bombay with her mother. Her father could not come as he had committed to complete certain religious ceremonies for people who were his regular clients. He joined her after three weeks. By that time the allotted flat was ready and her things arrived by train. She and her mother put them in proper places and made the flat look good and was decently furnished. As there were two bed rooms, she could enjoy the comfort and privacy of a room to herself.
The office work was not taxing. Of the four colleagues of the service, one of them was a young man who was older to her only by two years. He was also from Madras and was in the same level of post as she was holding. The first meeting with him was pleasant. He introduced himself and said he bore the same name as his grandfather.
"I am Bhaskar and I am from two batches before yours. I bear the same name as my grand father as is the custom in Madras."
He was of medium height with a complexion not so fair but on the brownish side. His black hair was partitioned at the left side and there was a good crop. He was wearing all white attire. Trousers, full sleeve shirt and even handkerchief were white, as if it was an uniform he had prescribed for himself. Even the buttons strung by a white thread for the shirt were white. There used to be only button holes for shirts in those days. So you have to get removable buttons and string them with a thread and use them to make both the holes in the shirt come together and hold fast. The shirt would have to be pulled on to the torso through the opening at the top sliding over the head like a Punjabi kurta of now a days. He was using only white plastic buttons. Some people used to sport gold buttons or even diamond studded gold buttons to declare their affluence, hoping to get greater respect from on lookers. The trousers were folded at the bottom for one inch as was the fashion those days. Even the belt was white and mercifully the shoes were black. Latha thought that if the shoes were also white then he would look like a character in high school Shakespearean play.
Latha responded to his greetings with a slight smile saying "Glad to meet you"
"So, you have joined recently from Madras. Have you been to Bombay earlier ?"
"No, it is the first time"
"You have got government quarters already and moved in with your things that have arrived from Madras."
He seemed to have kept himself posted of what was happening in her life, she thought. The thought that somebody was so interested in her made her slightly elated. He was looking over her and was attracted by her petite figure and fair complexion. Indian male, irrespective of the place from which they hail, always have a fascination for fair complexioned girls. Even till today, you would hardly a matrimonial column seeking brides, not asking for a fair complexioned girl. In work places, a fair complexioned boss invariably gets better response and obedience from subordinates, especially in Madras state. Goddesses in Hindu pantheon are pictured as fair complexioned with beautiful white skin. Only demanding and terrorising female deities like Kali are on the contrary pictured as dark skinned. This focus on skin colour will go on in future also. This applies not only to men but also to women. The women in general consider themselves lucky if they get fair complexioned husband. Certain parts in India mostly have fair complexioned people. When they come first time to south India, especially to Madras presidency, where the people are usually of wheat or black complexion, they get thoroughly disoriented. Luckily this feeling has diminished over the past three decades due to more traffic of people from north to south and south to north and due to interaction between them. On the flip side, few Tamil movies eulogies dark complexioned male heroes and get great mileage from the viewers if such a hero sporting darker beard is loved and chased by a fair complexioned girl. This itself is an indirect admission of the worship of the fair skin.
Be as it may, let us come back to Bhaskar and Latha. Bhaskar has made it subtly clear that he was attracted by Latha from Madras. He said, "My office room is next to yours. You can at any time walk in and ask me whatever help you want in official and personal matters as you are new to this place." Latha responded with a smile and said "Oh ! Thank you" The first interaction was smooth and less informal laying the foundation for later informal interactions. Latha was aware of it and thought well of it. To find someone who spoke her language and was from her part of the country was welcome to her. Nostalgia for Madras, its ambiance and people also edged her to this soft feeling towards Bhaskar.
Time passed quickly in Bombay. People come to work from far away places and have to commute by train for long hours to reach their place of work. So, this left very little time for any peripheral activities in the office. One had to finish one's work during office hours and rush back to catch the train to be able to reach home at least by eight or nine o'clock at night. She found that the people in Bombay were more businesslike and did not spend their time in treading on the toes others, even in bus queues. She found that the life in Bombay was more orderly and smooth than in Madras.
Bhaskar dropped into her room every day to chat with her to give advice on work or for getting things in Bombay. His manners were quite polite and he also spoke in Tamil and that she found was a rare thing among Tamil crowd. He wanted to show her places of interest in Bombay and Sunday holidays were used up in going around to such places. He came to her flat one day and met her mother. Her father had also moved to Bombay by then. When her father asked him about his family, he gave details about his parents, grand parents, uncles, aunts and kith and kin. After long drawn discussion on lineage and personages, they could conclude that Bhaskar was distantly related to her. Bhaskar also proudly proclaimed that one of his uncles was a freedom fighter and that was why he was always wearing dress made of khadi cloth. This made somewhat good impression on her father. Her mother did not give out her mind and tell her assessment about Bhaskar.
As the days went by, it became a usual routine for Latha and Bhaskar to spend together an hour every day in the office or outside. Before lunch time Bhaskar would walk into her room and gossip over a cup of tea all sorts of matters. Slowly it extended to taking lunch together. Sometimes, after the office work was over, in the evening they used to go to Juhu beach and take potato vada pav that is so popular in Bombay at all times. Latha found that she was developing a soft corner for Bhaskar and getting drawn towards him.
Inevitable thing in such circumstances that would happen in such passages between a young man and girl happened in Latha's case also. One day they were seeing a movie that had a theme of love and attraction and marriage despite opposition from parents. After that, in the late evening they had delightful eats in a much patronised restaurant in Chowpati and then sat in the beach there. Latha was in a jolly mood and laughed heartily at Bhaskar's jokes. Bhaskar was also in a jovial mood. Looking at her for a few minutes, he did not utter a single word. She was amused at his staring at her face for so long.
"What is the matter, Bhaskar ?" she asked. He continued looking her in her eyes.
"Are you trying to mesmerise me ?" Still he did not open his mouth.
"Tell me what are you thinking. Why this stare today for so long and why so intense ?"
He shook his head as if he was coming out of a dream and then spoke.
" I am bewitched by your beauty, laughter and on the whole of your sweetness. Can I say something that I wanted to tell you for so many days and I was afraid to tell.?"
"What ! Afraid of me ! A small poor girl like me !"
"O K. I love you and I want to marry you."
Latha was expecting such a declaration from him for quite some days. The fair sex has an unfair advantage in this area. A girl always knows when a boy is after her. His actions, pranks, silly behaviour at times, Sunday manners before her and so many other little things that a girl alone can comprehend easily tell her if a boy loves her or not. She makes him dance around her for some period of time that enables her to assess what sort of person the suitor is. How durable in marriage he would be is the question most intelligent and practical girls try to address. Most of the girls are more practical about marriage than boys. They have to be because they are the ones who bear the children and raise them. They are the ones who have to tackle the boy's parents, relatives and friends. In a few cases, the witless girls are over powered by their own infatuation and drown themselves in patently bad and harmful relationship and dubious marriage leading to miserable married life. Generally, in this assessment of future, the girls are more capable than boys. There may be exceptions where a girl is carried away by strong attraction for the opposite sex and by the planned strategy of the man who designs to lead her to matrimony to suit and enhance his fortunes. But those marriage also thrive or endure if the man continues to manipulate the woman for his benefits in subtle ways as he is wont to do, for that is his stock in trade perfected by practice from the time he had started the wooing. After marriage the woman also puts up with it to save the family and relationship. Emotions and behaviour, dependence and self-interest, sex and love, compassion and ego are all myriad concoctions of human mind and behaviour. Here there is difference between man and woman. The proportions of the ingredients will vary as per need, sex, time, age and ambience, dictated by innate behviour pattern and shaped by external factors of relationship, possession and health.
No one getting interested in the opposite sex would have time to analyse these things. They act no doubt, impelled by these factors and the ingredients that actually work from their heart and mind. Analysis comes only when expectations are belied and the real face emerges as totally different from the one masked either by such impulses and youth or by design in the case of calculated villainy.
Latha looked at Bhaskar pensively for some minutes. Thoughts rushed in her mind. She was a practical girl with natural expectations and desires. Bhaskar was on tender hooks. What was she going to say? Would it be yes or no? Has he pushed it too quickly ? Then Latha laughed suddenly.
"Why are you so tense ? You have not said anything wrong or bad. I was expecting you for some days to say this."
"Did you then know what is going on in my mind all these days ?"
"Any girl will know it when a boy moves with her. What do you want me to say ?"
"I want you to accept my love and marry me."
All this conversation incidentally was not in Tamil, the mother tongue of both Latha and Bhaskar. They used English. Not that one cannot say this in Tamil. But somehow many educated persons, especially girls find it easier to handle these tricky statements in English and not in their mother tongue. Even today, as may be seen from Tamil movies, expression of love invariably is only in English. The hero will say "I love you" in English and not in Tamil. This is usually not so among Hindi and Bengali people.
Latha smile and said "You should talk to my parents."
"Does that mean that you love me and would marry me ?"
"Don't be so dumb. If it were not so, why should I tell you to talk to my parents ? Their approval is very necessary But one thing I want to say very clearly. If I marry anyone, he should allow me to keep my parents with me"
"Oh ! That is no problem. I would treat them as my parents as I have lost my parents some years ago"
Bhaskar suddenly took her hand and kissed it and Latha blushed. Distance and maintenance of space was a unwritten law in those days even between those who were intimate and were in love. Hence such small gestures thrilled the parties and girls knew it very well. The sun was setting and it was the month of December and so it was cool. Chaupati does not get such abundant breeze like Madras Marina beach but the weather was nice and cheerful. All world looks beautiful and cheerful when you are happy. Even beautiful things appear dull and cheerless when you are sad. Possibly that is why philosophers say that happiness is a state of mind and it does not come from outside but it flows from within you and makes outside world look wonderful. The only exception is for physical pain and disease as no philosopher can bear a tooth ache.
Meaning of Non English words and proper names:
Juhu and Choupati : Beaches in Bombay that are frequented by people.
vada pav : A snack of bread and spicy vegetables, very famous in Bombay.
End of Chapter 7.