Half an hour left.
I am struggling to keep my sanity now. I'm tired of all the tears and hurt. I want to feel some other emotion - I don't mind which one - but I simply cannot. I can't help to think of Zeke feeling so scared and vulnerable. Zeke was always the strong and determined one, the one who kept me together. Now that he's away I am falling apart.
I am still at my spot beside the window. People have started to wake up. There are cars on the streets and the sky has turned into a light blue colour.
I guess no matter how hard I try, I just can't stop time.
***
"How could you?!" I screamed at the ageing woman that was in front of me.
Wrinkles formed clearly on her brow as she frowned at me. "I did what was best for you. I did what was right."
I could hear the words, but they just didn't make any sense to me. My own mother. I stood in the kitchen of her house and stared at my mum in disbelief. Why would she deliberately sabotage a relationship that her daughter was finally happy in?
"You don't know what's best for me anymore." I hissed, tears forming in my eyes.
"I don't even know you anymore. The Abby I raised would've handed in a serial killer as soon as she found out."
"You never knew me in the first place."
Suddenly, Emily rushed through the doorway and stood behind me defensively.
"C'mon Abby, let's go," she said quietly in my ear.
"Not yet," I replied, the anger in my voice clearly making itself known. "How did you even know about Zeke? It was a pretty well kept secret."
"Why don't you ask Emily?"
I turned around to face my sister in shock. The thought of her betraying me was just unbearable.
"I'll explain once we leave this house." Emily told me, obviously seeing the expression on my face. "I can't stand to be anywhere near her anymore."
Emily took my hand and lead me out of the house and into her car. She was given it as a present for her eighteenth birthday and, from what I heard, was in love with it.
I didn't know where Emily was taking me, but I didn't really care. Tears spilled down my cheeks. I had finally gotten Zeke back and all of a sudden he was snatched right out of my hand again. The only hope I had left was that he would be found innocent at his trail - but even I knew that was highly unlikely.
I heard the door slam and realised that the car had stopped. I looked around me, Emily had brought me to the park.
I got out of the car and followed Emily to a bench looking over the playing fields. The air was silent and undisturbed, calming me instantly.
"I didn't tell her," Emily told me.
I knew at once what she was talking about. "How did she find out?"
"She overheard me talking on the phone to you,"
I thought back to the last time I had a phone call with Emily. It was the night after we revealed the drink spiker and she had called to reassure me.
"It's okay, I don't blame yo,." I didn't look at her though, I kept my gaze straight ahead. I was afraid I'd break down in tears if I even so much caught a glimpse of Emily.
"I'm sure Zeke will be fine," she said. "He might be found innocent. After all, he's changed."
"If Hitler stood in front of the judge and said, 'I know I killed all those people but I've changed now, I promise.' Would he get off the hook?"
"It's a bit different, Abby,"
"Not really,"
I took a leaf off the bush beside me and ripped it up absentmindedly. I wasn't sure of much in the world - and I'm still not - but what I was sure of was that I would never get to see my love ever again. Whether it be a life sentence or worse, all I knew is that the other day was the last time I'd ever see his face. And I didn't even get to say goodbye.
"I'm sure the universe will have some sort of reason of breaking you and Zeke up." Emily said, interrupting my train of thoughts.
"I can't think of any other than that it just wants me to be miserable."
And I was being honest.
We were silent for another while. I thought more about what I could've said to Zeke if I knew he was leaving. I'd probably tell him I loved him, and that he is the reason I am who I am today. It may be cheesy, but it's true. His existence has taught me a few things: forgiveness is the key and I was able to love. I became the girl in the sappy romance movies, and I liked it.
"You're going to need to see the police, you know." Emily broke the silence again.
"I don't want to,"
"You have to. You can go willingly, or they can make you go, it's your choice. Either way, you'll be talking to a police officer about Zeke."
"I don't want to tell them, some things are private. I can't let him down."
Emily sighed. "I'm sorry to say, Abby, but Zeke will be found guilty no matter what, so the best thing is to just tell the truth, or else you'll just get yourself in trouble."
I sighed. Emily was right. I agreed to go to the police on the one condition that she would come with me. Emily told me she would then let me sit in silence to think things over.
A few days later Emily showed up at my house to take me to the police station down town. It was early in the morning, I was tired and I looked like death warmed up, but I went anyway.
It felt strange to be in a police station. I'd never imagined I'd ever be in one, especially for giving information on my boyfriend who was secretly a murderer. Everything was very foreign to me. Amidst the unfamiliarity was a certain red-head I knew all too well.
"Poddy!" I cried as I neared my Irish friend. He looked very smart in his uniform and almost unrecognisable.
"Abby," he replied when he saw me, "I just want to say I'm sorry, about everything."
He engulfed me in his arms once I was in arms length of him. "It's fine, thanks for your concern."
Although it wasn't fine, it wasn't fine at all. Every breath I took made me a little more weak, and every time I thought of him killed me more emotionally.
"Y'know, just for the record, Zeke was always a great guy."
I looked up at smiled at him. "I know,"
I heard my name being called by a feminine voice and turned around to see a police woman holding a clip-board staring at me. I bid Poddy farewell and followed the woman through the doorway she was standing outside of.
I entered a very dark room. The only thing that was in it was a table and two chairs and either side. There was a policeman sitting at one chair so I used common sense and sat down at the other.
On the desk was a tape recorder, a lamp - which was the only source of light - and a notepad.
"Good morning, Abigail Winston," he greeted me.
" 'Morn,'" I mumbled sheepishly.
"So, you are here to give evidence on Damien O'Kane, am I right?"
"Yes, officer,"
"Now that I think about it, I do recall coming to your house for some evidence on a burglary. There was a young man sitting beside you that I'd sworn I'd seen before. That was Damien O'Kane, wasn't it?"
"Yes, sir,"
A smug smile spread across the officer's face. "I thought I knew him. Ah, you see Abigail, I once interrogated him on a murder before which he committed. He got away free, of course. He's a good liar, isn't he?"
I clenched my fists underneath the table, restraining my self from talking back to the officer. "Yes, Officer Black,"
"I wondered why he looked so agitated... Anyway, back to the point. Are you aware you had a relationship with Damien O'Kane?"
"Yes, sir,"
"Am I correct in saying that you knew about his murderer status?"
"Only for two weeks,"
"You do realise not reporting a crime, especially one like that, is a criminal offence, right?"
I nodded. "I'm aware,"
"Well, you'll have to pay a hefty fine for that, but Helen will sort you out with that at reception."
I shrugged. Nothing mattered to me now that Zeke was gone, especially not money.
Officer Black continued, "How long did O'Kane lie to you for?"
"A year,"
"Why didn't you report him when you found out? No doubt you were furious."
"Because I loved him," I answered honestly.
"How did you find out?"
"There is a room in his cellar. I found his diary there."
"Yes I know, we found it too. Oh an by the way, we also found two things we'd think you might be interested in."
Black set two things on the table and slid them over to me. I studied the items carefully and noticed Gabrielle's pearl necklace and a small box.
I picked the necklace up an stuffed it in my pocket before turning my attention to the small box in front of me.
I carefully lifted it and stared at it a little more carefully. It was turquoise with a white ribbon on it.
"I don't think now is the right time to open that..."
I looked up at the officer who was staring back at me. I accepted his judgement and also put the box in my pocket before continuing the interrogation.
Officer Black questioned me on everything you could even imagine. Even about Poddy and how I knew him. By the time the interview finished I was worn out and just wanted to crash onto my bed and fall asleep.
"You should've told me it would take two hours before I agreed to come with you!" Emily complained as we got into the car.
I laughed half-heartily. I just wanted to get home and see what was inside the box.
As soon as Emily pulled up outside my apartment block I rushed to my flat as quickly as I could. I scrambled for my key, put it inside the lock and flung open the door; I just had to open this box!
I sat on my sofa, holding the minute box in front of me. I tried to guess what it was. It was too tiny to hold anything extravagant, maybe a pair of earrings?
I pulled the ribbon and untied it. Written on the box was "Tiffany & Co.". Yep, it's definitely a pair of earrings.
I yanked the lid off the box and peered inside. What I saw astounded me. I clamped my hand to my mouth as I felt my eyes water.
It was a ring.
A golden ring with a small diamond on the top.
An engagement ring.
Tears started to spill down my cheeks as I inspected the beautiful piece of jewellery. I didn't dare to put it on my finger, as I didn't think it would feel right knowing that'd he'd never get to see me wear it. By this stage I was admitting to myself he would be in jail for a very long time.
Zeke Riley was going to marry me.
I didn't need to be reminded of the love I could've had, now that he was in jail, so I picked up the lid to put it back on the box - I wanted to store it away, never to be seen again - when I noticed there was a note taped to the inside.
I unfolded the note a noticed it was written in Zeke's messy scrawl. It read:
"Abby Winston, will you marry me?
As you know, I'm not one for speeches or big surprises, so that's why this is probably one of the worst proposals ever. But I don't care, because I'm proposing to you.
I was planning to wait a little while before asking you, but once you found out my secret and left me I was devastated. I realised then just how much you mean to me, and I couldn't afford to loose you again. As soon as you forgave me I ran out to buy the ring I knew you'd love most, so I could keep you in my life forever.
I'm sorry if this isn't as fancy or extravagant as you maybe expected your proposal to be, but a proposal isn't about being out-there, it is about showing your love for another, and that is what I'm doing right now.
I love you, Abby Winston, and if - God forbid - anything happens to me I want you to know that I love you, and that I never stopped loving you, and I never will stop loving you. Every day without out you is like a balloon without air; and I never want to feel airless again.
Please say yes.
Zeke."
The tears rolled down my cheeks and splashed onto the piece of paper, smudging the ink. It was so obvious Zeke wrote this; it was sweet, simple and a little bit corny. And yet, I loved every single part of it.
I folded the piece of paper and put it back in the lid before setting the Tiffany box on top of a shelf that was out of view. I wiped my tears away before heading to bed. As I lay in bed I repeated Zeke's speech in my head. That night, for the first time in a while, I fell asleep with a smile on my face.
~*~
I was in the middle of eating my dinner the next day when I heard a knock on my apartment door. I opened it to reveal Emily standing there, looking dull and lifeless.
"Can I come in?" she asked, her voice emotionless.
I motioned for her to come in. She entered and sat on my sofa, before patting the space beside her, gesturing for me to sit there.
"Zeke was on trail today." she told me as I sat down.
I took a deep breath and asked, even though I already knew the answer, "Verdict?"
"Guilty,"
I forced back the tears that were forming in my eyes and asked again, "Sentence?"
Emily took a deep breath, before staring me in the eyes. Her usually glistening blue eyes were cold and empty. Then she answered, "Execution."