To @flyawayfreddy, for the wonderful support since the very start, for the contagious laughs in her comments, for willingly raising her hand to accompany me in this journey...
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~~~ CHAPTER 34 - MISSING PIECES ~~~
Both Mother Clarita and Mrs. Riviera weren't able to move or speak up from where they were standing. They seemed to process all the words they heard from Nigel in their brains. One look at them and you would know they were totally shaken up.
Why wouldn't they? I was even shaken up myself!
"I'm here to take her home," Nigel spoke again.
The bastard.
"Stop it!" I snapped at him. "You're not taking me anywhere. Do you hear me?"
"Althea..." he muttered, back to his pleading tone like a while ago when there were just the two of us.
Mother Clarita eventually gathered her wits and talked to him calmly, "No wonder you fell in love with her cakes... No wonder I have this weird feeling every time I see you like remembering my dear Thea here, like wanting the two of you to meet..." Then, she turned to me, "Oh, so you're engaged to him, dear?"
"No, Mother. I was never a fiancèe to him," I stepped towards the two women to beg for some sympathy.
Mrs. Riviera shook her head, still in a state of disbelief. "A very powerful man, Thea. The famous Nigel Sarmiento! You're engaged to him?" she asked me in a whispering manner.
"No, it wasn't real. The engagement was just a product of my crazy illusion. But now, I've already moved on and I want nothing of him anymore," I said casting a furtive glance at Nigel.
He was gazing at me intently, that I didn't miss as I glanced at him. He really thought he could just take me to The Fields like that? Was he ever in his right senses?
"Mother Clarita, I want to ask some time with her," he pleaded at the nun who was not still able to move on from everything she heard.
"No!" I complained.
The old nun nodded her head. "Go ahead, have as much time as you want with her, Mr. Sarmiento."
"No, I'm not talking to him anymore, Mother. I have to leave now. I still have work."
"No, you're not working today at the shop, Thea." It was Mrs. Riviera who answered me. "Talk to him. Face your past."
No, no, no! This couldn't be happening to me.
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The two older women left Nigel and me in the receiving area.
Okay. Face my past it is.
He came near me and stood in front of me very, very close. I clenched my teeth. How on damn earth could I disregard his presence when his mere presence alone was like a torture to me?
He gripped tightly both of my shoulders with his hands. I squirmed under his touch.
"You really hate me," he said more of like a whisper to me.
I raised a brow at him. "Perfect observation, Mr. Sarmiento."
"Althea, please, don't Mr. Sarmiento me."
What was with his pleading tone?
"Stop with your pleading tone, okay? It absolutely irritates the hell out of me because it just doesn't suit you." I pushed him away. He pulled back one moment but attempted to reach out to me once more. I stepped back. "And please, don't tell me what to do and what not to do. You have no right."
He paused for a while as if trying to think what he was going to say next.
I decided to talk myself, "For two years, I've learned to be alone and independent. I've learned so much about life and living. I've learned to realize that I'm better off alone, away from you. I'm so much better and happier now without you in my life. So, now, tell me, what's the use of all this drama? This pursuance?"
"I'm here to make things right between the two of us," he replied, full of conviction, "and I'm going to do everything to have you back, no matter what the cost will be."
Wow, big statement right there coming from him!
My heart, with irregular beatings, seemed to harden in my chest. How could I believe him? After all the drama that he brought to my life, he just suddenly realized that he wanted me?
Seemed wierd and unbelievable.
Where is your Maria Stella? Did she also leave you? Did you also treat her badly that she had to leave you? And now that she left you, you're going to win me just like that? Just like that? Who do you think you are? God's gift to women?
I crossed my arms in my chest. "Well, this is what I'm going to say. I'm no longer that cry-baby who'd just do anything you'd commanded me to do. The road to my heart is going to be very rugged, filled with plenty obstacles. You are not going to make it to the finish line and I will make it one hundred and one percent sure."
Nigel didn't answer me back. He seemed to ponder the words from my mouth.
"See, you're not even answering me," I said challenging him.
Was he going to give up already? Damn, I wanted so much to know what he was thinking.
He sighed, still not answering.
Okay, he was giving up now. Great, so I could go back now to my normal life.
Welcome back, normal life!
"You're not talking anymore... Okay, have a good day, Mr. Sarmiento." I turned around from him. I couldn't comprehend why it felt so bad to know that he wasn't giving me any assurance that he would pursue me still.
Then, his raspy voice stopped me from scramming. "Althea, I'm leaving tomorrow for the capital. If you'll come with me---"
"Stop it," I quipped, still with my back at him. "How many times shall I tell you that I'm not going with you?"
"Althea, mom... mom's..." he hesitated to continue.
The moment I heard it, a swell in my heart erupted. Mom. Mommy Carol.
But I never said a word. I wanted him to continue what he was about to say about my ever-missed woman on earth.
He breathed in. "Mom's ill. She's ill, Althea. And she wants to see you."
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So, there you have it.
You think he came to actually win you back? No, it is a big bluff! Because he came here to tell you that Mommy Carol is ill, yes, ill and that she wants to see you.
I didn't know what to say at the moment. I was torn between my disappointment of his real purpose of coming here and the thought of my second mother who was lying on her bed, ill, and waiting for me...
"Do you want to come with me, Althea?" It was a question but it sounded more of a plea. "Mom's in the capital right now, undergoing some treatments but she's scheduled to go home to The Fields on Monday. If you'll come with me, we'll go to the capital first and we'll go home on Monday..."
For the first time, in two years, I never became more confused. There was a part of my being telling me to stay... but, deep, deep down there was also a part telling me to go with him...
So mom didn't hate me after all. She needed me right this moment.
Oh, my God! My Mommy Carol is ill.
With me pondering and standing right there on the floor, I was so lost in my thoughts that I hadn't anticipated what he was to do next. Without any iota of my expectation, Nigel closed our distance by pulling my body into his. He enclosed my shaking body in a very tight embrace. His familiar masculine scent reached my nostrils... and it smelt like... like... home. Then, he leaned over and spoke softly in my ear, "I'll give you tonight to think. Please, come with me. I'll wait for you at the airport tomorrow, 6:00 am."
I didn't say a word. I couldn't decide still.
He let go of me. "6:00 am, princess." Then, with his drooping shoulders, Nigel slowly walked away from me.
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That very night was the hardest night of all, in two years, for me to sleep. I tossed and turned myself on bed but, no matter what I did, I just couldn't sleep.
I rose up at 5:00 am, took a bath, and headed to the church. It was Sunday.
I was at the church when my wristwatch stroke 6:00 am. I was kneeling with a solemn petition in my heart as the churchbell began tolling loudly and piercingly as if reminding me of the time. How could I forget? It was 6:00 am and I knew that, by this time, Nigel was already fying back to the capital.
I closed my eyes as I knelt. The mass had started.
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After one hour, I went back to my apartment to get ready for work.
Mrs. Riviera was already in the cake shop when I arrived. With only a simple 'Good morning' to her, I willfully stayed away from her that whole morning. I was too afraid that she would ask something about Nigel. She, however, seemed to detect my actions. She didn't bother me in my baking area.
While in there in my favorite area in the shop, I came to recall where I had started to learn how to bake. It was in the palacio kitchen, together with Elena. I experimented a lot back then. Cakes were my specialty... and never did Nigel taste any one of those that I baked before. He only tasted that flan and curd that I once baked for him...
And the paella... of course the paella... which he regarded addicting...
Then, again, during the Foundation Day of the orphanage, he told me that he was addicted to my cupcakes as well.
Addicting to him? My cooking and my baking?
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Two weeks had passed and I was still not being myself. There were a lot of things running in my head. I was totally bugged by my conscience for not visiting Mommy Carol. How could I forsake her? She was my mother, protector and guardian when I was still in The Fields. Without any hesitation at all, she gave everything I asked. Without questions, she just gave her all to me. She loved me unconditionally like I was a true daughter. I longingly ached to see her again, to serve and take care of her until she convalesced.
However, more than that, what my heart couldn't accept was Nigel's pretension. He was a good actor when he said he wanted me to go home. He was here begging me to go home, not because he really wanted me to but because mom asked him to. After two years, he was still that same man that I knew --- still a liar and a great fake. For that, I could never forgive him... just like how I couldn't forgive him for all the things he did to me before.
But the more that I suppressed myself from thinking about mom, the more that my conscience ate me out. In spite of Mrs. Riviera asking me to call her "mom", I never did because I had only called one woman as my "mommy"... I could only call one woman as mom... whom I chose to leave back there... The memory wouldn't cease eating my conscience.
It was a Friday night when I finally made a decision. With enough courage, I placed some clothes and some essentials in a travelling bag. There was no turning back for this decision. I would go back for Mommy Carol.
After bidding goodbye to Mrs. Riviera and Mother Clarita the following day, I boarded on a plane going back to the province where La Carlota was located. From the provincial airport, it took me four and a half hours on a bus going to Sta. Fe, the town, and finally to La Carlota.
I was on the bus when I received a text from Javier.
Can't wait to see you next weekend at the shop.
Oh, Javier! Thinking that I was at the southern city, he planned to visit me again.
Visit me at the Palacio de Sarmiento. I texted him back. I knew he would be surprised but I'd explain everything to him.
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I watched the woman who was lying on her bed. She was in her deep sleep and just watching her like that, too close to me, overwhelmed me so much that I wasn't able to refrain myself from embracing her.
"Mom, I missed you so much," I mumbled as I hugged her tightly.
She just groaned and hadn't woken up.
"What's her illness, Elena?" I asked the girl who brought me to mom's room. Looking at my bestfriend whom I also missed very much, I could just still recall how she reacted when I arrived. Elena hugged me and said 'I missed you. I'm glad you're back' many, many times. Then, the rest of the servants ran and gave me a group hug. I was totally overpowered with joy.
Elena was standing by the bed while I was embracing the señora of The Fields on her bed.
"It's hypertension. She's suffered several attacks these past two years. The señorito has to bring her to a hospital in the capital every now and then," Elena replied. Elena, who was to graduate next year in nursing, took care of mom now as her private nurse.
I stretched out and sat on the edge of the bed. "Will she be alright, Elena?"
"She's been sad, really, really sad since you were gone, Thea. She's no longer the vibrant señora that everybody knows. She's changed and, since then, the palacio has become a desolate place to everyone. We all missed you," she said, wiping her tears in her eyes.
God, how should I take all of these? I was the reason why mom became like this or why the palacio was no longer this alive... Something pierced my heart and I grimaced in pain.
"She's been suffering hypertension since you left, Thea. She's never been like before. Just recently, she has one major attack when she learned that the señorito knows where you are and she doesn't," Elena divulged.
Yeah, Nigel and I met in the orphanage. So mom discovered about it...
By and by, I perceived the movement on the bed. When I turned my face back to mom, I met her opened beautiful pair of eyes. She stared at me for a while then she babbled, "D-darling? A-am I dreaming?"
I leaned down to her and hugged her once again. "No, you're not dreaming, mom. I'm here, your darling Althea." And, since a very long time already, a teardrop fell from my eyes.
She cupped my cheek with one of her hands and tears also came running in her cheeks now. "Is it? Is it really you? Darling?"
"Yes... yes, it's me, mom..."I didn't know what to say to her anymore so I just kept on saying "I'm sorry. I'm very, very sorry."
Mom trembled under my embrace as she reached out her hands to embrace me back.
I knew Elena was in tears, too, as she witnessed my emotional reunion with mom.
I knew that it was going to be a long night for both mom and me.
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I spent the whole night with Mommy Carol. Lying in bed with her, she was caressing my hair while I placed my head in the crook of her neck.
"I thought you're mad at me..." I said, wiping my tears. "I'm so, so sorry, mom. I'm really sorry."
I heard her breathing... deep and hard. It made my breathing hard as well.
"Why did you leave?" she asked later.
Oh, no! Here it was! She was to tell me now how disappointed she was of me.
When I decided to come back, I expected that I was to hear this question.
"I was afraid, mom," I said.
"Afraid of what?"
For a while, I didn't speak.
She caressed again my hair. "Did it have something to do with Nigelito, darling? Did it have to do with my son?"
Okay, here I was... about to tell a lie to the woman who was willing to give me everything.
"I was afraid of the announcement back then, mom. I realized I wasn't ready for the engagement or wedding..."
She sucked in a deep breath again. "I just thought that it was the announcement that really scared you... I was right all along."
"Yes, it was, mom."
"Did you realize back then that you don't really love my son, darling?"
Oh, should I continue lying? Should I?
I refused to talk.
"I learned from Nigelito Joaquin that you had a fight that night that you left. It was only a week that I learned about it... because he was gone for a week as well. I didn't have no way of knowing where you were and where he was. I thought the two of you were together... but," she started to sob now, "but as I read again and again your letter, I realized that there was no way that you went with him. I knew in my heart that you had really left me... and... and... it was so unbearable..." Mommy Carol's shoulders were shaking; she was crying again.
Oh, no! If something wrong would happen to her, I was to be blamed for this!
Seeing mom being like this made it hard for me. I sat up beside her and held her hand. Tears were flowing down my cheeks as well. "I'm very, very sorry. I'm so sorry that I had to leave. It was just I couldn't live anymore with him.."
"What really happened between you and Nigelito, darling?" she asked. "What happened that night? I have a lot of questions... so many unanswered questions. I want you to enlighten me, darling, please..."
Why? Didn't Nigel tell you about what happened that night, mom?
"Nigel would always refuse to talk about it, darling. I don't know why."
Because he doesn't give a shit about it, mom.
"I had to leave because I didn't want to marry him anymore, mom. I realized that night that I don't really love him at all. I'm so, so sorry for everything, mom. I knew it was all my fault. I begged you to make him my husband in the future... but, on that night, I realized that it wasn't what I really wanted. I'm sorry..."
And you don't need to force him or blackmail him anymore, mom, into marrying me.
"You could have just told me the truth, darling. You know I'll give anything you want. We could have just called everything off, right?"
"Yeah... but I was scared at that time..."
Mom stared at me, still letting tears to run along her cheeks.
"Okay, let's not talk about it anymore. The most important thing is you're back here with me. Come here. I want to hug you again," she spoke lovingly to me.
I lay down again beside her and hugged her.
We talked to each other as if there was no tomorrow. I told her that I would be spending only a few weeks in The Fields to be with her. I told her I had left a work in the South this summer. I also explained that I needed to go back to the South so I could pursue my collegiate studies. From then on, I would just visit her from time to time.
At first, she couldn't accept about my intention of going back to the South but I explained to her my will for independence. She soon understood.
She wanted to give Nigel a call and told him the news of my arrival. Oblivious of my return, he was at the capital at the moment and was scheduled to visit mom a week after. I prevented mom to tell him about me. I didn't want to see him nor talk to him.
"Whatever it was that you fought with him, hope both of you can settle it now... I really want you to come in good terms with him, darling," she pleaded.
I didn't answer her.
Later, since it was getting late already, mom finally fell asleep. She slept within my embrace.
Oh, embracing her back, I truly realized that I missed this woman so much. She was a missing piece in my heart... I was glad I came back for her.
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The following day, mom and I went on a morning walk to her flower plantation. I heard that the doctor advised morning walks as part of her treatment so I willingly went with her.
The flower plantation was as breathtaking as ever. The sight of the colorful flowers sent a soothing caress in my heart. Roses, chrysanthemum, heliconia, aster, anthurium, baby's breath, gladiola, orchids of different colors... really breathtaking as ever. Oh, you name it, mom had it in her plantation. Walking along with mom on one of the footpaths in the middle of the flower beds, I could actually sense the wonderful fragrance brought to my nose by the morning breeze. Mom and I held hands as we walked together.
After the morning walk, I went to the kitchen and helped the palacio cook, Clara, to do mom's meal. I had to observe how mom's food was to be prepared because I wanted to do it for her next time. I wanted to give all my love and care for her, just like how she devoted all her time to me when I was still eight and trying to recover from my loss.
In the afternoon, I couldn't wait anymore to visit my lagoon. I couldn't miss it of all places in The Fields. I went there for the first time in two years. My heart was beating like crazy as I treaded the familiar rugged pathway. Reaching the place, I was overwhelmed with joy when I discovered that everything seemed in place just like before... like everything was preserved... all for me...
Putting on a blanket on the ground, I lay down and watched the branches of the mahogany trees that seemed to cover the sky from my vision where some rays from the afternoon sun came to radiate to the lagoon bank. What mesmerized me more, however, was the presence of my butterfly friends! They were still here and they were even getting a lot more in number! God, they looked so wonderful and breathtaking! My place beside the lagoon had truly turned out now into a butterfly sanctuary.
Oh, I had so many memories of this place... too many memories of my youth.
There, as I was lying, I felt another missing piece was reattached to my heart.
Tears dropped from my eyes.
I couldn't deny it... There's no place like The Fields...
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A/N
Next chapter will be updated some time today! Yay, two updates! I'm happy!
Sneak peek for the next chapter: THE SUITOR... I'm excited for this. God, I've been waiting for this time to come. Let us help her move on and make way for a new relationship, okay?
Don't forget to VOTE, COMMENT, and SHARE!
Lovelots,
(sapphiregirl22) ~_^