Yay! New chapter! And I'm happy today! It's a miracle! Oh wait, it was MidnightEyes, black96 and TheCookieMonster! I can't be bothered to dedicate, so I won't. But thanks you guys! And everyone check out their stuff! Now! After you read this chapter! And vote! Heheheheh...
On with the story!
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I was such an idiot. The stranger outside picked up his hat, looking disgruntled, and walked off murmuring to himself. I sank back down against the wall and sighed, a few relieved tears falling from my closed eyes. Why was I so paranoid?
I knew the answer immediately. Alex wasn't here to protect me; he made me feel safe and secure. Now that he hated me, I felt alone in the dark scary place in my mind. More tears fell and I began full-out sobbing. It had only been four days and I already felt like my heart was tearing in two. He was ignoring me completely, trying to block me out of his life. Why had my words hurt him so much? What about the whole 'sticks and stones may break my bones, but names can never hurt me' thing? Surely this followed the same principle?
I stood up, blinded by my tears, and stumbled up to my room, flopping onto my bed with Alex's hoodie in my arms. It still smelt of him and it comforted me slightly, subsiding my tears to the point where I could see. They still tumbled down my cheeks but I scrubbed them, knowing my parents would be home soon; I didn't need questions.
For the rest of that week Alex treated me the same, blanking me and only speaking to snap at me. Peeta's hurtful glares changed to looks of pity and sadness; she had seen my attempts to make him happy again and was trying herself. It changed nothing, he hated me.
It had been three weeks since Alex spoke to me, three weeks I had been alone, three weeks I had suffered through the nightmares, three weeks I had a hole in my heart. Finally, a day came when we were both kept behind. I didn't listen to the teachers drone, I watched the amazing boy stood next to me, aching for him to hold me again. The teacher dismissed us and Alex hurried out of the classroom. I stood in front of him and grabbed his arm so he couldn't leave. This was my final chance, or I was going to give up.
"Alex, I'm sorry! I didn't mean it! I was just-" I began. Alex cut me off.
"No Scarlett. I don't want to hear it. I'm just a stupid boy who doesn't care about anyone, remember?" His voice had such venom in it and I flinched back.
"But..."
"No. You go your way and I'll go mine. It's what you wanted isn't it?" He spun around and walked down the corridor, turning a corner and leaving me alone.
"Alex!" I screamed, tears filling my eyes. I wanted him to come back and tell me he understood, he forgave me, he would never leave me alone again... He didn't come back.
With a muffled sob, I walked down the corridor and out of the doors. My blurred vision never left the tarmac I walked on; my ears were filled with my choked cries of mourning. I'd lost the only person I trusted through stupidity. If I'd checked my phone, kept it in my hand, we wouldn't be in this mess. I would still have Alex and he would still have me. He missed me as well; Underneath the blazing anger in his eyes, there was sadness and heartbreak. We needed each other.
I stopped where I was, trying to breathe through my sobs, before continuing on. A squeal of brakes and the roar of an engine made me looked up and I stared at the oncoming car in shock. My legs wouldn't move and I squeezed my eyes shut in wait of the end. In my head, I deserved it.
"Scarlett!" someone roared, pushing me down and out of the way of the car. I groaned slightly as I hit the ground, keeping my eyes tight shut. The person was still holding me, clutching me close to his chest and shaking slightly. It reminded me of when Alex held me like this and I peeled my eyes open, gasping as I realised it was Alex.
"Alex?" My voice came out shaky and disbelieving.
"Oh my god Scarlett, oh my god," he kept repeating, eyes still closed and me still in his arms. The car that almost hit me had gone. "Are you okay?" he asked.
"Yeah." I whispered, more tears falling.
"Let's go home." he said, picking me up in his arms. I clung to his chest, not wanting to let go in fear that it was all a dream and when I woke up he would be gone.
"Alex?" I whispered, unsure of my own voice.
"Yes Scarlett?"
"Am I dead or dreaming or something?" I asked, not opening my eyes.
"No. I got there to quickly for that to happen." he muttered.
"Do you still hate me?"
"I never hated you. I tried to, but it didn't really work out how I wanted it to." he sighed and I giggled slightly.
"I was so scared that you would never speak to me again." I said, opening my eyes. He gave me a half-hearted smile and shook his head.
"I couldn't ever do that." I couldn't help the grin spread across my face.
"You can put me down if you want." I commented, even though I was enjoying being back in his arms again. He put me down and I sighed, walking next to him. "I'm sorry Alex. I honestly didn't mean a word I said. I was angry and scared. You don't know how hard it is for me to trust." I looked at my feet, moving in a steady rhythm along the grey tarmac.
"I know. It's just... I've tried so hard to get you to trust me and to show you that I care and then you just go and do that and it hurt. Colin had said the same thing just days earlier, and I was trying to prove to myself that he was wrong. And then you went and did that..." he said, pausing.
"Alex, I'm so sorry. I don't think you'll ever understand how sorry I am and..." I was cut off by his lips pressed to mine.
I gasped, unsure of what to do. My lips moved instinctively with his and we both stood there, lost in the kiss and unaware of our surroundings. I was in complete bliss, my eyes closed and my entire body tingling from being so close to Alex.
He finally pulled away and we both stood still for a minute, unsure of what to do.
"I'm sorry Scarlett. I shouldn't have. I... I have to go." Alex stuttered, before pushing past me and walking back home.
"Alex!" I yelled and he paused. "Don't go." He turned around and gave me a small smile, jogging over and catching up with me. I caught hold of his hand and held in mine, clasping it tightly.
"I'm not going to leave again, you don't have to cut off the blood circulation in my hand." he joked and I loosened my grip on his hand.
"Sorry."
"I mean it Scarlett.."
"I know," I answered. "I don't doubt that for one second. I just want you to think before you commit to me in any way. Do you really want to be with someone as messed up as I am?" He grabbed my arm and spun me around.
"Scarlett. I like you just the way you are." he said, his chocolate brown eyes seeing straight into my soul.
"Please don't go Bruno Mars on me." I said, my voice wavering slightly.
"But it's true." He seemed as transfixed as me and we both stood there, unmoving. A car horn made me jump and I squeaked, making Alex laugh.
"Shut up! It's not my fault I was a mouse in a previous life." We both laughed and began to walk back to my house.
"Why did you stand in front of that car?" Alex said quietly and I frowned, stopping.
"What? You think I did that on purpose?" I demanded, frowning.
"It looked like it. I don't think you would, but people do crazy things when they're upset or depressed." he said, still looking at me.
"Don't think I will ever do anything like that. While you are by my side, I will never do anything like that." I said, nodding my head.
"And I won't ever leave your side. I guess everything works out then." he said, taking my hand again and beginning to walk.
"Yeah. Everything works out."
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They're finally together! Kinda.. They kissed, I say they're together. Whether they say that is a different matter... lol it's my story, I decide :P
Claudia, you happy now? Good :D
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