"I'm your best friend?" I couldn't help but grin at Alex. This was the most I had smiled ever since Jesse left. I missed the feeling.
"I thought you knew that," he informed me, the way he was saying it made it sound like he thought I was some sort of idiot. "And I thought I was the stupid one."
"You are the stupid one," I told him flatly. "But I just thought Jesse was your best friend."
"He is--" Alex started, but then quickly frowned. "He was."
I frowned now as well. So both Jesse and I were Alex's best friends... That made me happy. I didn't feel left out, and neither would Jesse... if he was even here with us.
"Speaking of Jesse," Alex began, and I didn't know if I wanted to hear this. "His funeral's this weekend."
My frowned deepened even more. How were they having a funeral for Jesse when he wasn't even dead? And if he didn't die, then how did they have his body?
"What about his funeral?" I asked, not knowing what else I was supposed to say. Except for Marnie, I hadn't ever met anyone in Jesse's family before. Even though Marnie said she would keep in touch with me, I hadn't spoken to her since the last time she had visited... And now the thing that caused us to meet was gone...
"I've been invited," Alex shrugged, as if it was no big deal or something. But this definitely was a big deal! He was invited to Jesse's funeral? At first I was hurt because I hadn't been invited, but then again I understood why I wasn't. No one in his family but Marnie even knew I existed...
"You were invited?" I asked, my eyes going wide. "How did you get invited?"
"Jesse told his family about me," Alex shrugged once again, and I couldn't help but feel a little hurt about that. Did he tell his family about me? I highly doubted it... I mean, it was a lot easier to tell your family who your best friend is than it is to tell them who you're in love with. "So they called me up and asked if I wanted to go to the funeral."
I hated the word funeral. The only funeral I had been to was my grandmother's, and I had to leave in the middle of that one so I didn't break down in front of everyone there. But funeral meant death, which had been happening enough in my life so far.
"Oh," I nodded, trying to hide the fact that I wanted to go to a funeral for someone who wasn't even dead. "Well... are you going?"
"Nope," he said with a sudden grin, catching me off guard. "We are."
I blinked at him. "We are?"
He nodded at me. "Yep, we are. I asked if I could bring another of Jesse's friends along and his mom said that I could. So we're going to be flying to California for the weekend and we're going to go to his funeral."
I stared down at the ground, wiping at my eyes with the back of my hand. I thought I stopped crying when I thought of Jesse... Guess I was wrong...
"It's okay, Jordan," Alex grinned, grabbing onto my shoulders and forcing me to look up at him gently. "I know you're heartbroken now, but you'll get over it sooner or later. You know Jesse would want you to. I'd be crying as well if something like this happened to Lexi..."
"I just... miss him," I sniffed, wiping at my eyes again. I then chuckled a little. "I used to tell everyone how I wouldn't care if he disappeared. Now I've been sobbing for days. I just can't believe that he's really gone. He was always there, you know? He was just... there whenever I needed him."
Alex smiled sadly and nodded at me once again. He patted my head before letting me go and straightening up. "You might have lost the love of your life, but I lost my best friend. Jesse was the only person that really got me, you know? Yeah, I'm a complete idiot and I goof around, but that doesn't mean I can't be serious. Jesse was the only person who knew about me being in the gang. He was the only one that knew all my secrets, besides you. So it feels like I only have you now."
"You know you can tell Lexi your secrets," I whispered, staring down at the ground once again now that he had released me. "She'd love you no matter what. Just because you have a mark on your back or you made some mistakes doesn't mean that she'd judge you."
Alex chuckled a little, shoving his hands into his pockets as he stared at the ground along with me. "You know, that was exactly what Jesse was afraid of a few months ago. Before you guys got together, he told me everything. He really thought you were going to judge him if you knew everything about him."
"Well, I did hate him for almost four years," I defended, crossing my arms over my chest as I looked up to stare at him now. "So I guess he had a reason to be afraid that I was going to judge him. I'd been judging him for the past three and a half years."
Alex shrugged. "Well, he loved you since the moment he saw you. It's almost funny how whipped he was when it came to you. He was willing to do anything for you, Jordan. Hah, I wouldn't be surprised if he ran off and faked his death just to keep you safe!"
I forced out a laugh, and I really hoped that he didn't notice how nervous it sounded. Now would have been the perfect time to tell him how Jesse wasn't dead, but... it just wasn't a good idea. Alex would have done something stupid if he found out that Jesse wasn't really dead.
I hope you're safe, Jesse, I thought to myself morosely, letting out a sigh of relief as Alex wrapped his arm around my shoulder as he walked me back to my cabin.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I wasn't looking forward to this whole funeral thing. I hadn't ever met Jesse's family before, not even his mother, so I knew it was going to be awkward. If Alex wasn't there with me, I wouldn't have known what to do.
"He has a huge family," I blinked when we had entered the room that the rest of his family was in. Jesse never even mentioned anyone in his family except for Marnie, his dad, and his sister Camilla. I wonder if his sister was here as well... "I can't believe he never told me."
"This is only the kids," Alex grinned at me, as if that wasn't obvious by the little kids running around playing tag in black clothes. They couldn't have been older than seven, so I highly doubted that they really knew what was going on. "I guess they're sending us to the kids' room before the funeral starts."
"But I'm eighteen," I deadpanned, as if it totally wasn't obvious.
"And so am I," Alex grinned, but that didn't stop my eyebrows from furrowing.
"There are so many little kids," I whispered to him harshly, afraid that they would hear me. Not that it really would have mattered or anything. What were they going to do, kick me in the shin? Well, there were a lot of them... "Are they sticking us in here to babysit or something?"
"He has a lot of cousins," Alex informed me, passing me by and greeting one of the little kids that stood before us.
"Are all of them little kids?" I asked when he came back over to me. "Because there are a lot of little kids here. Marnie's his cousin. Where's she?"
"I'm not sure where Marnie is, but most of his cousins are kids," he shrugged, leading me away from the door and over to two seats. I sat down after he did. "There are a few that are around our age somewhere, Marnie being one of them."
As if on cue, two boys slid out in front of us. One of them had reddish brown hair with hazel eyes and the other had brown hair with hazel eyes as well. They both had a cheeky grin as they stared at the two of us.
Well this wasn't creepy...
"Um, hi," I greeted slowly, not knowing what else I was supposed to say to them. It wasn't like I could just ignore them, right? They were blocking the way toward the exit...
"'Sup?" the redhead nodded, that cheeky grin still on his face. "What's your name?"
This was weird. "... Jordan."
What was this? I normally would be perfectly fine with talking to people, but not at my boyfriend's funeral... I just wanted to get in and out of there as quickly as possible. If I met these guys on the street sometime in the future, then I would talk to them. Well, then again, I don't think that was the safest thing to do...
"J-Dog!" the brunette grinned, catching me off guard so much that I almost fell out of my seat. What did he just call me?
The redhead grinned at me, pretty much ignoring the boy standing next to him. "I'm Kenny."
"Also known as K-Dog," the brunette informed me, hooking a thumb in Kenny's direction as he continued to grin.
This was really weird.
Both boys looked like they were in high school, but they were definitely younger than Alex and me. Why were they smiling at a funeral? They looked like the kind of guys that smiled all the time, and it annoyed me just a little. But right then, considering the situation and everything, everything pretty much annoyed me.
"He likes to call people by their first initial and then he adds dog," Kenny explained to me, as if it was the most normal thing on the entire planet. What the heck had I walked into? "For example, he's C-Dog."
"'Cause my name's Cameron," the brunette introduced afterward. "Are you friends of Jesse?"
I turned to look at Alex to see if he was as confused as I was, but he looked perfectly fine in the presence of the two underclassmen boys. Why wasn't he at least a little bit freaked out? Because he was Alex, that's why. He was usually the one acting like a freak...
"Um, yeah," I answered with a nod, unsure what else I was supposed to say. "We're his friends."
I wanted to say that I was his girlfriend, but I didn't know if that was a good idea. Did his family even know that he had a girlfriend, let alone the fact that she was at the funeral with them all? I wasn't going to risk it.
"We're his cousins," Kenny informed me with a wide grin as he clapped his hand down on Cameron's shoulder.
"Alright," I nodded, wondering why they were even talking to us. Desperate to get out of this conversation, I looked around the room. "Um... Do you guys know if Marnie's here?"
She was the only family member of Jesse's that I had met, and I would have loved to have a girl's company at a place like this.
"You know M-Dog?" Cameron asked me now, his head cocking to the side as I nodded. I didn't know who he was talking about at first, but I then remembered how Kenny had told me about his nicknames for people. "That's cool. She's somewhere around here, I'm sure. Want me to go find her for you?"
I smiled up at him gratefully. "Would you? That would be great! Thanks!"
Cameron shrugged. "No problem."
He walked off, in search for... his cousin, I was assuming. If Jesse was his cousin, then Marnie probably was as well. That left Kenny, who was just grinning at us now.
"Kenny!" a loud voice suddenly broke through the silence that surrounded us, and I almost fell out of my chair once again. "Kenny! I need your help over here! I know you suck at math, but I think you can help me with something simple like this!"
My head turned in the direction of the voice to see a very pissed off looking blonde girl, her hands on her hips as she glared at the redhead that continued to stand before Alex and me. Kenny glanced back at the two of us before saying, "That's my sister Diana. I guess she needs help with something... I'll see you guys later."
I nodded at him, eager to have some alone time to breathe. If I ever saw Jesse again, I was going to kill him for not telling me about his gigantic family. How did he not tell me about this?
Before Alex or I could say anything, another person was sliding in front of us as we continued to sit. Of course it wasn't a child like I was hoping it would be, but another teenager that looked around Kenny and Cameron's age.
What was I, some kind of teenage magnet or something?
Wow, I was talking like I wasn't a teenager anymore. Now I was starting to feel old...
"Hi," I blurted out exasperatedly before the boy could beat me to it. "And what's your name?"
The boy stared up at me before practically whimpering, "Ivan!" before scampering away from me, as if he was scared.
Was I scary or something? What the heck was wrong with Jesse's family? I just didn't get it. Maybe this was why he rarely ever talked about them... I didn't blame him.
Could I just go back to Maine? Or maybe even back to my house, which was closer than the camp. I just needed to get out of here before my head exploded!
Why was I getting so frustrated over this? I was hoping that I could have just come here and mourned the fake death of my boyfriend, but no! I was being approached by his weirdo cousins!
"That's another of Jesse's cousins," Alex informed me before I could jump up and go after the boy and ask him why he had run away from me.
"What's his deal?" was the first thing I had to ask.
Alex smirked at me. "You're scary."
"You're kidding me!" I cried out, flailing my arms and nearly wacking him in the head. "You take that back right now before I kill you!"
"I love you, too!"
"I hate you!"
Alex's head tipped back as he let out a hearty laugh, and I really wished I could have been in bed. It was a Saturday afternoon, and it was a week since Jesse had left. I would have spent the rest of my life in bed if I could have, but I knew my friends wouldn't have let me.
""His family is so massive," I groaned, rubbing at my temples as I let out a slow sigh. "I don't even think I'd be able to deal with all of this if we were to get married!"
"I don't think they would have been able to handle you, since you're scary."
I would have strangled him if we weren't at a funeral.
"Hey, J-Dog!" I suddenly heard before Alex could say anything. "Look who I found!"
I found myself finally smiling when I saw the familiar brunette girl skipping toward me. I jumped up from my seat and was surprised when Marnie hugged me. This didn't mean I was not going to hug her back, though.
I hadn't even noticed that Cameron had walked away until Marnie and I finally pulled away from each other. She had tears in her eyes, but I wasn't very surprised by that. I was sure I had tears in my eyes, too.
I turned toward Alex, wiping at my eyes with the back of my hand. He looked up at me expectantly, knowing that I was going to tell him something.
"Go play with your own kind."
Alex blinked at me, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion. "What?"
I rolled my eyes at him. "Go play with the little kids."
Understanding that I was telling him to get out of there, he let out a breath as he stood up from the chair. He walked passed Marnie and me with a small smile before walking off toward the little kids. I couldn't help but be surprised over the fact that he was actually doing what I said.
"I'm so upset, Jordan," she whimpered, wiping at her eyes as she sat down in the seat Alex had been occupying only seconds before. I sat back down in the chair I had been sitting in, now fully listening to her. "Jesse was my closest cousin, and now he's gone!"
I bit my lip so hard that it almost started bleeding. I hated the fact that I was pretty much lying to everyone right then... Jesse wasn't dead. He was very much alive right then and he was still walking on the planet. I hated that I knew more than his own family did.
I smiled sadly at her, patting her knee as I tried to make her feel better. What was I supposed to do? The only thing I could think of to make her happy was to tell her that Jesse was actually alive, but that was definitely out of the question. What was I going to do?
"You know," Marnie started, saving me from having to say anything as she continued to wipe at her eyes, "Jesse always... Jesse always really loved you, Jordan. I know you guys are enemies and everything and you can't stand him, but I know Jesse would want you to know that he's always really loved you."
I smiled at her once again. "I know he loves me, Marnie," I informed her now. "We were actually... going out before he died. I love him, too."
Her eyes went wide as she continued to stare at me. I didn't really blame her, because I would have been surprised if I was in her position as well.
The last time she saw us, Jesse was punching a wall because I was with another guy... That didn't really seem like a good thing for a relationship.
"Really?" Marnie swallowed, her eyes still as wide as saucers as she stared at me. "You guys were going out? That just makes this all sadder!"'
I nodded, patting her knee once again when she started crying harder. Oh, what was I supposed to do? I couldn't watch her acting all depressed like this... It was just too upsetting!
"Jesse's... in a better place?" I told her, but it sounded a lot more like a question. "He'd want us to be happy..."
"I know," Marnie nodded, now dabbing at her eyes with her sleeve. She then looked up at me, looking a little scared. She leaned in closer, looked around just in case anyone was listening, and then turned back toward me and whispered, "Did... did you know about the... uh..."
"The gang?" I blurted before I could help myself, and I found myself chomping down on my tongue after I had said it. What if that wasn't what she was talking about? What if she was talking about something else and now she knew about the gang?
Marnie nodded at me, and I let out a sigh of relief. "So you know that Jesse used to be in a gang? And it doesn't bother you?"
I shook my head, smiling wryly at her. I didn't really have a choice. It did bother me at first, but I had just gotten used to it now. There wasn't anything I could do about a psychopathic murdering gang leader coming after me...
"It's all just in the past, you know?" I shrugged, staring down at the ground and letting out a sigh.
"I can't wait to get this all over," Marnie groaned, leaning back against the back of the chair now. "My friends--you probably remember them since they were there when I first met you--are probably getting married. I just can't wait for their wedding, even though it probably won't be for a while! Have you been to a wedding before?"
I shook my head, but my eyes widened in shock as I did so. Wedding? Didn't Austin say how he and Rachel were planning on getting married soon...?
Wait, if I remembered the time he told me, it was supposed to be the next week!
Oh, no... I totally forgot about Austin's wedding! That meant I was going to have to see Hunter again without Jesse... How was I supposed to do that? Austin said I could bring Jesse, but Jesse supposedly was dead!
There was no way I would be able to face Hunter alone, even if he was supposed to leave me alone!
What was I supposed to do? There was no way I'd be able to do this!
I could have always just told Austin that I couldn't make it, but I didn't want to miss my brother's wedding. He really loved Rachel and I could tell it was going to last, so I knew that this was probably going to be his only wedding. I didn't want to miss it!
"Nope, I haven't been to a wedding," I informed her, a nervous smile plastered on my face as I continued to think of what I was supposed to do.
Marnie continued on talking, but I just couldn't focus anymore. All I could think about was how I was going to be in a church with Hunter all alone. I was going to have to walk down the aisle with him like he wasn't crazily obsessed with me! Like he wasn't the reason my boyfriend ran away!
I wasn't going to miss my brother's wedding. I couldn't let Hunter make me do something that I'd regret later in my life. He'd already ruined so much for me, so I wasn't going to let him screw anything else up.
I would suck it up for my brother. I would go to his wedding and pretend that Hunter and I barely even knew each other. It was just one day, wasn't it? It wasn't that big of a deal.
But oh, yes it was. It was a huge deal. But all I could do was hope and pray that the wedding would be the last time I ever saw Hunter Drax again.
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Kenny, Cameron, and Ivan's characters are all named after guys in my math class. I took my notebook out the other day to write the previous chapter and they were all OMG PUT ME IN THE BOOK, so I did. I was planning on Jesse having a huge crazy family anyway, so they just helped me out with the names. :L
I hate this chapter with a passion though. It's been deleted in the final draft of the book, but I'm not going to delete it on here.
There're only five more chapters left... And then there's an epilogue. And then a surprise (maybe two, but it depends on how you look at it...)
Oh, and if you've read Hey There, Delilah, this takes place before... someone proposed. ;D I don't want to give anything away in case you read it! :D
Please COMMENT, VOTE, and FAN! :D