He was exasperated, "Can't what?"
She unfolded her arms, her hands on her hips, "This! Talk to you, I can't....its...its too hard" she said through tears, "Just please, leave me alone Adam...please?"
"Miss, you okay here?" The bouncer asked, Adam cut him a look.
She wiped her eyes and nodded, "Yes, thank you" she said softly and got into the waiting cab.
Adam watched the cab as it left the bar, his heart with it.
He turned on his heels and went back inside, Kevin met him at the bar, "Didya talk?" Kevin asked, he was hopeful.
Adam flagged the bartender down and ordered a shot, "I guess, though we didn't say much" it felt like a circular conversation, nothing new had been said.
Kevin scanned the crowded bar, "Where is she?"
"She left, and I'm leaving too" he told him as he tossed some money on the bar, "I'm not in the mood, sorry.."
"How're you getting home?" He had driven in with him and Jay.
"Walk" he hoped the cold would make him numb.
"Ruzek, your apartment is a long way from here and it's cold as hell" he shivered at the thought of walking the thirty plus blocks to Adam's apartment, "your balls are gonna freeze"
Adam shrugged, "I'll be fine"
He knew he needed to say something, both of them were miserable and he was tired of watching his best friends suffer, "Adam, wait!"
Adam turned to face him, "What?" His shoulders slumped and his eyes sad. His voice devoid of emotion, he sounded exhausted. Exhausted and heartbroken.
"Don't give up on her man, don't let her walk away" Kevin expressed, "She loves you"
Adam nodded, and walked out.
She stared at the alarm clock on the nightstand, she'd been watching the red numbers for what seemed like hours, but it had only been fifteen minutes.
It was 3:27.
She had tried to fall asleep, but Adam's face haunted her dreams. The sadness in his eyes was overwhelming, knowing she was the reason why made her sick to her stomach.
Why did she give him the ring back?
Yes, he was seriously dragging his feet, but she knew he loved her.
She loved him, she missed him.
She'd always been impulsive, and that trait may have just ruined her life.
He still couldn't feel his feet, he was certain they were frozen. He tried sleeping but it was a fucking joke, he couldn't sleep.
Kim wasn't by his side, he couldn't sleep without her.
He turned the television back on, hoping something had changed in the last ten minutes and something would be on.
He settled on re-runs of The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and grabbed a beer from the fridge, and laid down on the couch. He couldn't sleep in his bed, not when Kim wasn't with him, not with the memories of nights spent together, being together. The couch would have to do, truth be told everywhere in the apartment held memories of her. He couldn't escape her, and he really didn't want to.
The drive was rough, she was beginning to regret her decision.
Not the decision to see him, but rather her timing.
Impulsivity. Strikes again!
Her grip on the steering wheel tightened as she made her way down the street his building was on, feeling relieved when she spotted his silver truck in the parking lot.
It really would have sucked if he wasn't home, she didn't think she'd be able to make the drive back to her place and the idea of sleeping in her car wasn't appealing.
There was no turning back now, was this the right move?
She pounded on the door wishing she had a key. She knew how hard it was to wake him up, he'd sleep through an earthquake.
The sound startled him, he cursed whoever it was. He'd was in the midst of a dream and he didn't want to wake up. It was a very good dream, Kim the focal point.
He groaned and adjusted his sweats his current state of arousal frustrated him yet again he'd need a cold shower once he dealt with whomever it was pounding on his door.
Suddenly he felt sick, he wasn't sure if his father was working or not and he was terrified that he was about to receive terrible news. That he was about to be noticed that his father was killed, his heart in his throat.
It was just 4:20 in the morning.
Nothing good arrived on your doorstep at the time of the morning.
He took a deep breath and slowly pulled the door open.
Shocked to find Kim on the other side.
He exhaled in relief, the panic must have been evident on his face.
"I scared you?" Kim asked, she was nervously wringing her hands together, the corner of her bottom lip rugged between her teeth, "...sorry"
Adam sighed, "Thought it was about my dad" he tried to calm his racing heart, "what're you doing here? You shouldn't have come"
"Oh?" This was a mistake, she wanted to cry.
The look on her face broke him, that wasn't what he meant, "No, I mean....the snow. You shouldn't be driving in it....you're not the best driver on a good day" he teased, a lopsided grin filled his face, he couldn't get the images from his dream out of his head. Not while she stood outside his door, he wanted her.
He needed her.
She looked around the deserted hallway, "Can I....can I come in?"
He laughed nervously, and backed away from the door, "Uh, yea. Come on in" he was mortified, the apartment was a disaster.
He had empty pizza boxes, and various other take out boxes strewn throughout the small apartment. His laundry overfilled the hamper and had spread through the living room.
"It's a mess, I'm sorry" he told her, the state of the apartment mirrored his own current state of well being, "haven't done much cleaning...much of anything for that matter"
She found a spot on the couch free from his dirty laundry and sat down, an awkward silence filled the room.
The pair avoiding the other's eyes, when it became too much to bare Adam spoke, "Kim, what did I do? Cause, I thought we were good.."
She chose her words carefully, she didn't want to mess this up.
"You don't want to get married, do you?" She asked, the question was long overdue.
He exhaled, "Yes, I do." He told her, and he did. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with her.
His words were saying one thing while his actions said another, "I just.." He stopped speaking, he didn't have a valid excuse for his stalling, his procrastination, "Kim, I don't know..."
His answer was shit, he knew and she knew it.
"Thats it? You don't know? Jesus, Adam!" She was angry again, how could he not know what he wanted, "I shouldn't have come here" she stood to leave, this was a mistake.
"You can't leave, Kim. The roads are shit" he explained, "just stay the night" he asked.
She didn't trust herself, not when he sat across from her in nothing but a pair of sweatpants that hung perfectly from his hips, leaving very little to the imagination. Not that she needed her imagination she knew his body like the back of her hand.
He picked up on her trepidation, "You can have the bedroom, I will crash on the couch" he told her, he didn't think he could restrain himself, he wanted to devour her. His body ached for her, he had a serious case of blue balls.
She shook her head, "No.."
He quickly spoke up, "Kim, you're not leaving. It's too dangerous and you're taking the bedroom, don't bother trying to argue over it. You won't win" he smirked, god this was killing him.
She was bundled up, he grabbed a t-shirt from the clean laundry basket, one of the few clean items remaining, "You can sleep in this if you want" the mental image of her in his shirt wasn't helping his current situation, she reached for it and her fingertips grazed his making him shudder.
"Thanks" she replied softly, feeling the effects of his touch.
She retreated to his room and changed, she climbed in the bed.
For the first time in weeks, she felt as if she was home.
Knowing she was in the other room, lying in his bed was almost too much to bare, he readjusted himself on the couch. Forcing himself to think of something, anything other than Kim.
She'd tossed and turned for nearly an hour, the sun beginning to rise the reflection of the fresh fallen snow amplified the sun's power bathing Adam's bedroom in light.
Her willpower had left, she went into the living room.
His back to her, she let her eyes travel down his body. His back was strong, his shoulders broad.
"Adam?" Her voice almost a whisper.
He turned to look over his shoulder, "Yea?" He groaned, she was torturing him, she had to know that.
"This is silly. We're both adults, come to bed" she told him, "that couch is like trying to sleep on bricks" she'd begged him to replace it, but he claimed it was perfectly worn.
He sat up, "Are....you sure?"
"Mmm" she hummed.
They both climbed in the bed, neither moving an inch.
Kim tried to get comfortable and felt her leg graze his, she could hear him groan.
Adam turned on his side, Kim's back to him. He lifted his hand to move her hair that was pinned under her shoulder and heard her gasp as his hand touched her shoulder.
"Kim.."
She quickly turned, and was face to face with him, "Adam..."
He lost it and pulled her against him, his lips covering hers.
It was impossible to fight off, they quickly lost control.
Adam fought to regain his composure and pulled back from Kim breathless, "I'm...sorry.."
Kim blushed, "Don't be..."
--NOTE---
One more chapter left!
UNEDITED