Funny Omegle Chats

By UltravioletMcFly

5.4K 85 58

I saw some people doing this and it looked fun. This is basically me going on Omegle and being very weird (an... More

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EFF OFF KITTY!
Do You Wanna Build A Snowman?
U r jst a cornhole
*turns into melons*

The ritual of the binding activity of coitus

351 14 15
By UltravioletMcFly

WARNING: There are some pervs on Omegle, DO NOT go on it if you have an innocent mind. Also, there are some pervs in this story, so same goes for reading this.

Ignore my attempts to be funny, I'm really not

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Question to discuss: I have shit friends. how do I make new friends?

You: You sh*t friends?!

You: Better go to the toilet then

Stranger: Your friends say they've got one shitty friend.

Stranger: Now, who could that be?

You: Your mum

Stranger: Original.

You: I know I am

You: Don't be jealous

Stranger: Anything else, kid?

You: Nope... wait...

You: YOUR MUM

You have disconnected.

-----

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Question to discuss: why do people like diarrhea ?

Stranger: No, people don't

Stranger: Only you

Stranger has disconnected.

-----

 You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: m

You: You horny?

Stranger: ya

You: WOW I'VE NEVER MET A PERSON WITH HORNS!

Stranger has disconnected.

-----

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: hey m

You: hey alien

Stranger: I prefer extraterrestrial

Stranger: lol

You: well damn guess our love can never be

Stranger: hahah

You: oh well

You: I WILL SURVIVE

Stranger: wats ur name?

Stranger: I arnold

You: HEY ARNOLD!

You: My name's Bleep

Stranger: hahahahhahahah no

You: But my friends just call me B

Stranger: hahah lol

Stranger: m er f?

You: alien. we have no gender.

Stranger: hahah great

Stranger has disconnected.

-----

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: hi. im a guy

You: hi i'm a leprecaun

Stranger: omg

You: I can grant you wishes!

Stranger: u a girl

You: Well I'm a leprecaun... so I don't think so

Stranger: fuck u asshole

Stranger has disconnected.

(I could have granted you wishes!)

-----

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: hi,m 16, looking for horny girls with kik

You: Well I don't have horns so I guess you can count me out

Stranger: Lol your funny :)

You: My mum thinks so too

Stranger: Cool. I'm guessing your from the uk since you said mum? :)

You: Nah, I'm from mars, we say mum there too

Stranger: Awesome! :D

You: Yeah, it's kinda boring here

You: But I keep getting chased by this robot thing

You: OMG IT'S COMING!

You: I GOTTA RUN!

Stranger: Run away it will catch you and eat you

You: TELL MY MOTHER I LOV-

You have disconnected.

-----

You're now watching two strangers discuss your question!

Question to discuss: You two are clearly in love

Stranger 2: Of course

Stranger 1: hi stranger

Stranger 2: It's our honeymoon :)

Stranger 2: Come stranger, let us perform the ritual of the binding activity of coitus.

Stranger 1: lol

Stranger 1: coitus

Stranger 1: brings back memories of the big bang theory

Stranger 1: ill show you the big bang right now stranger

Stranger 2: Hmm, theorize my vagina/cock.

Stranger 2: I'll remain gender neutral for the sake of this conversation.

Stranger 1: what do you mean by vagina/cock

Stranger 1: ok

Stranger 1: answers my question

Stranger 2: I shall answer your question if I will.

Stranger 1: im a guy

Stranger 2: Okay, such is permissible as you do bare XY chromosomes and can not control your gender.

Stranger 1: and im gonna assume that you are a chick

Stranger 2: And your assumption may remain correct if you please.

Stranger 1: ok

Stranger 1: cut the crap

Stranger 1: you are a girl and i know it

Stranger 2: Haha, persistent, eh? I admire persistence...

Stranger 2: Let's say I am a girl, what then?

Stranger 1: idk

Stranger 1: lets say im a guy

Stranger 1: i bang your brains out

Stranger 2: Hmm, skull fuck or another position in mind?

Stranger 2: I prefer doggy.

Stranger 1: lol

Stranger 1: idk

You have disconnected.

(I didn't want to see their internet sex but stranger 2 was pretty funny)

-----

You're now watching two strangers discuss your question!

Question to discuss: You two are clearly in love

Stranger 2: Yes

Stranger 2: Yes we are

Stranger 1: Omg hi honey

Stranger 2: So you're a female?

Stranger 1: Ummmmmm no?

Stranger 2: So fuck off

Stranger 2: You're divorced

Stranger 2 has disconnected

-----

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: hi

You: Why hello there *creepy wave*

Stranger: u a f or m

You: GET IN MA VAN

Stranger: m 13

You: I have candy

Stranger: do u have a kik

You: No but I have candy

Stranger has disconnected.

(Guess he didn't want candy)

-----

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