Loooooong time no see>>> sorry about that btw.
I’d love to dedicate this chap to SheriffSquinty. Her writing is really awesome as she describes the situation really intensely and dramatically which I love sometimes. I am quite sure most of you know her anyways, but just felt like shouting out for her.
Excuse any typos or mistakes. Hadn’t edit or re-read it in my haste to post it. Hope you like it.
“Kevin!” Mark gasped in surprise when he saw Kevin standing right there in the kitchen door. “I didn’t hear you coming.” Mark said and took another gulp from his orange juice.
“Why are you still up?” Kevin asked as he stepped inside and grabbed the juice cartoon from Mark and took a swig.
“I don’t know, couldn’t sleep.” Mark shook his head.
“Something’s wrong?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean Joanna.”
“Oh, no. She is fine. She called me this afternoon. She was going on a date with that guy, Drake.”
“And you don’t think it’s a good idea.” Kevin said and watched his friend’s face go dark, “I mean I wouldn’t think so either.” He said and set the juice carton on the kitchen table.
“I don’t know. Do you trust this guy?” Mark said and leaned on the table. “Do I sound like an old geezer?” he said.
“Are you worried about the fact that they maybe in danger by walking around outside or that your cousin has gone on a date for the first time ever?” Kevin frowned down at him.
“Oh, shit. You are right.” Mark straitened up in his chair, “They shouldn’t go out like this.”
Kevin laughed at his friend, “I think Drake is clever. If he took her out, he’d make sure they are safe, he’s reckless, but not that reckless.”
“Yeah.” Mark said. it was a weird feeling, for him Joanna was like his little sister and he was so protective of her. When she called him earlier that day and told him that Julian asked her on a date, he felt a tingle in his chest. Joanna trusted someone else, not that she ever verbally conveyed to him that she trusted him, but he knew she did. Now, she trusted someone else and was happy to announce it freely.
“I just hope he’s trust worthy.” Mark said finally and grabbed the juice.
“Have you two ever heard about glasses?” both men were startled when Sara walked in on them while Mark was taking a rather big gulp of the juice.
“Sorry baby, we thought you were sleeping.” Kevin answered dumpily as Mark was coughing hard on the juice he was choking on.
“Sara.” Mark finally managed to say. “Have I ever told you how lovely your kitchen looks?”
“Oh, save it, Boyd.” She rolled her eyes and walked inside, opened one of the cupboards and grabbed three glasses out from it.
“Here” She said, “Pour one for me too baby.” She said sweetly to Kevin.
“Can’t sleep as well?” Kevin said as he grabbed the half empty Juice carton.
“Yeah, sorta.” She said and sat down on one of the chairs. “I kinda feel something bad is going to happen.” She said and looked up to Mark.
“I hope not, though. It’s just my silly hunches.” She smiled at him.
“I sure hope so.” Mark said as he took the glass from Kevin and took a swig. “I hope Jo is trusting the right man.”
“Anna!” Julian held the apartment door firmly before it shut and opened it to run after Joanna. He stepped inside and saw her frozen in the middle of the living room staring at him with….. What? Apprehension, fear, doubt…. hate?
“Anna listen to m…” he started to say but Joanna turned quickly and started running to the hall and into the bedroom. Julian exhaled loudly and ran after her again.
“What the hell are you doing?” Julian bellowed when he saw her climbing out of the window. He ran quickly and grabbed her waist back. Joanna shrieked and kicked and swore until he threw her on the bed and pinned her down with his weight.
“Get the fuck off me!” Joanna finally spoke, not exactly what he wanted to hear but exactly what he expected.
“just listen…”
“GET OFF ME!” Joanna bellowed with the most furious sound she could manage. It was enough for Julian to let go of her shoulders and step back, leaving her on the bed. She quickly sat up and glared at him before her look turned into a one of confusion.
“You lied.” She said angrily and Julian waved his hands in front of him defensibly.
“Just let me explain.” He tried to sound pleading.
“Explain what? You were just talking about me with… them!” Joanna exasperated.
“It’s not what you think.”
“What I think, are you fucking kidding me?” Joanna bellowed and stood on her knees. “It was clear. You are working with them, aren’t you?”
“NO!” Julian bellowed this time, putting every ounce of honesty in that one word.
“I don’t....” Joanna gulped, “I don’t believe you.”
“Just take a breath and let me explain, damn it!” Julian snapped. To his surprise, Joanna looked at him expectedly. He brushed his heir back with his fingers to calm his nerves.
“I am not working with them. I told you before that I was going to make a deal with them.” he started, deciding to start with what she already knew. “My plan didn’t exactly worked as I planned. They found us somehow, and they are waiting outside.”
“They know..” Joanna’s looked at him with terrified eyes. “They are here?” she covered her mouth with both her hands as she took a shivering breath. “How long have you known about this?” she asked, still holding her hands over her mouth.
“I was going to tell you all….”
“HOW LONG HAVE YOU KNOWN??” Joanna bellowed, moving her hands up to her short heir and clutching a handful in each hand. She was obviously two minutes from hysteria.
“A.. about two weeks now.” Julian never remembered stuttering in his life. But right then he was feeling as if all his being was shaking with anticipation.
“And you never told me?” Joanna’s eyes stared right into his.
“I was going to tell you tonight, I swear, about everything.” Julian said before he realized how it sounded.
“How convenient.” Joanna said sarcastically, her hands moved down behind her neck, scratching as a way of distraction. A realization look crossed her eyes and she looked up at him again, “Everything?”
“Can we.. Can you just calm down a bit and I’ll explain everything…”
“It’s all make sense now..” Joanna said, looking at the space instead of him.
“No. Listen to me.” Julian said and stepped closer but froze immediately when he saw Joanna tense. Despite her impassive expression, she was frightened of him. “Tonight, I was going to tell you all about it. Ask Isaac if you don’t believe me.”
“That day..” Joanna said, as if she didn’t hear a word from what he just said, “The day of the break out, from prison, after the explosion. You knew exactly what was going on. Like you predicted it.” She was saying as if she was gathering the pieces together.
“Wait, Anna, you don’t understand…”
“You were absolutely sure they were the mob, that they came for me, that they didn’t want to kill me.” She continued, Julian didn’t want that, didn’t want her drawing her own conclusion, which looked bad from where she was heading.
“You said someone told them about me.” She said and looked up at him, at his eyes, “It… it was you. Wasn’t it?” Joanna asked, her tone freakishly blank.
“Listen, Anna..”
“WASN’T IT?” Julian flinched at the sudden eruption in Joanna’s voice before it went back down again, but it wasn’t blank anymore, “Wasn’t. It?”
“You don’t understand…”
“Answer. My. Question, Julian!” Joanna snapped, her hands forming solid balls by her sides. Her neck was already too red form her scratching.
“Yes.” Julian said and straitened up. She deserved to know the truth. It wasn’t the best way, but he won’t lie to her.
Joanna’s expression was hard to read because about million emotions ran through it at once. But she said noting for a few excruciating moments.
“That was before us, before I snapped out of it.” He said urgently, trying to get her to believe him.
“The day you found out about me. When you…” Joanna trailed of leaving his memories to slap him about the day he marched inside her cell and forced her on the bed just to touch her so he could find out if she was really a girl.
“You didn’t do it out of curiosity, did you?” Joanna asked again and Julian started wishing someone would shoot him right then and there.
“No.” he decided to say, there was no running away.
“All the fights, the stupid deals with uncle Sam. Jeopardizing my relationship with Hank, it was all so you could…. Help them…. kill me?” Joanna said, turning the last word into a question.
“NO!” Julian snapped, “I never wanted you dead.”
“You was aiming for it, you are STILL aiming for it.” Joanna snapped back.
“That is not true.”
“I trusted you. I FUCKING trusted you.” Joanna said, the shock was so obvious in her voice. “And you were just another one…” if she wasn’t so scared of him, she might’ve sank down or throw her back at the bed, but she was holding her self up.
“No, you still can, Anna…”
“Don’t you call me that!” she snapped, pointing a deathly finger at him, “Don’t you dare play with me.”
“I am not playing.” Julian said angrily.
Joanna looked at him then down at her balled fists. “I want to leave.”
Julian looked shocked. Didn’t she hear him, the men were right outside.
“You can’t go out. They’ll take you.” Julian tried to reason, bringing his voice to work calmly.
“Oh, and you care?” Joanna laughed bitterly. “Julian Drake, wow!” she smiled up at him, “You have out done yourself this time.”
Julian came to one conclusion… Joanna was never going to trust him again.
“You can’t leave.” He said finally, too calmly, making Joanna looked even more frightened than she looked before. She must’ve thought he indeed was a traitor. He didn’t care anymore. all he wanted was to finish the damn program and get her free. Maybe then, she’d believe him.
“I’ll leave.” She hissed before she jumped of the bed and lunched at him. Her sudden movement didn’t surprise Julian; after all, this was Joanna.
He quickly dodged her blow, grabbing her forearm and pushing her back until she was pressed to the wall.
“I know you don’t believe me.” Julian said behind her, ignoring her heavy breathing. “But I have to keep you safe until I find a way out.”
“Let me go!” Joanna bellowed, struggling to get out of his grip. Julian stepped back and grabbed her by her arms with him. She was cursing and yelling and cursing again until her flopped her down on the bed. He climbed up, holding her lower body with his. He grabbed both her arms with one hand, ignoring her words and expressions as he maintained a dangerous impassive expression of his own.
He undid his belt and slid it out from his pants with his free hand. Holding her wrists tightly above her head, he wrapped the belt around them and around one of the rails of the headboard.
“What the hell are you doing?” Joanna said breathlessly, all anger gone and replaced by utter fear.
“I’m not going to hurt you.” Julian said calmly as he secured the belt on place. “I just need to make sure you wouldn’t do something reckless.”
“Please let me go.” Joanna pleaded, making Julian’s chest tighten at the way she said it. She was scared of him. And Julian hated it.
“It’s going to be fine, I promise.” He said reassuringly and moved his hand to touch her cheek but she flinched and he looked away, not baring to see the look in her face.
“I’m sorry.” Julian said and moved out of the bed. “Please don’t struggle.” He said finally ignoring the multiple pangs that were punching his heart as he walked slowly out of the rooms.
He closed the door behind him and took a deep breath, for some reason, he felt like he was going to break out and cry like a girl. Joanna was silent inside the room, which wasn’t the least bit reassuring.
It only meant her demons were gathering around her all over again.
Joanna stared at the door in disbelieve. What just happened? Her mind was still trying wrap what just happened around. Was she dreaming? Was this one of her nightmares?
The tight tug of the belt around her wrists confirmed that she was fully awake. Joanna was still staring at the closed door with wide eyes.
Why oh why did misfortune had to hunt her down even in her happiest moments. Deep down she knew she didn’t really deserve happiness, that all of it was coming to an end eventually. But never did she think it would come crashing down at her like this.
She felt her eyes as it started collecting tears. She took a deep breath and gulped a few times just to avoid any tear from falling. She was not going to cry over this.
Julian betrayed her. How couldn’t she see it coming? After all what happened between them in prison? Why did she have to trust him so easily afterwards? Was she that desperate for love? For happiness?
“You were never worth it.”
Her mother’s words rang inside her head then. She hadn’t heard them in there in a long time. She was living an illusion.
Joanna wriggled her body back and rested her back on the uncomfortable headboard, the shocked expression never leaving her face as all the past started attacking her mind again.
“Julian?” Isaac answered on the second ring.
Julian said nothing. What could he possibly say?
“Hello? Julian? Are you there?” Isaac said again.
“I didn’t tell her.” he said finally. He was sitting on the ground, his back resting on the couch’s back as he stared at the door at the end of the hall.
“Why not. It’s not hard, man. Just march in there and tell her. She’ll underst…” Isaac was saying cheerfully when Julian cut him of.
“She found out on her own.” He said blankly.
“What? How?” Isaac retorted in confusion.
“Peter called.” He said, every hating fiber in him spitting at the man’s name.
“Yeah, and?”
“she heard it.”
“Ok, so?”
“She heard a very confusing part. Now that I think of it, she could never trust me ever.” Julian said and took a long swig from the bear in his hand.
“Did you try to explain?” Isaac asked cautiously.
“I tried, but she’d already worked through her own conclusion.”
“Which is..?”
“That I am a fucking traitor.” Julian said bitterly, taking another swig out of his bottle.
“Where is she now?” Isaac asked quickly.
“She’s in the room. Inside” Julian said lazily. He was cursing himself over and over.
“That’s… that’s good? Right? She didn’t leave at least.” Isaac tried to reassure him but Julian stopped him with a dark bitter chuckle.
“That’s because I tied her up.” Julian said finally, feeling more hate for him than he ever had. “She hates me, Zaac.” He looked down at his bare feet.
“No. Julian, she can’t.” Isaac said, but Julian caught the doubt in his tone.
“It’s alright. I just have to finish Zelda.” Julian sat up. “Then I’ll let her go.” Julian shut his eyes and sniffed to hold any emotion from coming out.
“I am coming over.” Isaac said after a few moments.
“No.” Julian said.
“I can explain it to her. I’ll tell her everything. I’ll show her how much you care for her.”
“She won’t listen, Zaac. You didn’t see her eyes. How she looked at…” Julian trailed off, holding the phone to his ear with his shoulder as he tightened his hands over his knees, his eyes still closed. Tightly.
“You don’t know that.” Isaac said again.
“Besides,” Julian said, ignoring what Isaac was saying, “It’s way too dangerous right now. Peter White already thinks something is up.”
“But…”
“I said no. I have to go.” Julian said finally and finished the call. He stared at the bedroom door one last time before he threw the phone aside, “Fuck!”
P.S. to dear readers:
Hi! It’s been so long I’ve missed you people. I know this chap is a bit short and sad, but I hope you liked it.
I know my updates have been too late and far apart, but please excuse my delays. I have several writing blocks and some situations around here that prevents me from writing freely. But I promise I’ll pick up my pace and make up for it.
Love you all for reading and commenting and voting so please keep it up. It seriously makes me happy.
LOVE LOVE LOOOOVE YA! <3
Red