Bucky Barnes
It was the night of yet another one of Tony Stark's famous parties. There was loud music, tons of people, flashing lights and the smell of alcohol ran thick in the air. Steve sat awkwardly at the bar next to Bucky, Tony had insisted that all of the Avengers attend his party, including Bucky. Of course, even though you weren't an Avenger, you were invited to go as well. Not only because the Avengers were like family to you but because Tony loved the way you partied.
You loved the dancing, the craziness, the drinks and lights, it was all what made you happy. Not to mention the men, that was a huge part as to why you went to parties. Although you liked falling asleep next to someone, you would never waste anytime doing your walk of shame the next morning.
Tonight was no different, you were dressed in a little black dress with your hair curled past your shoulders and down your back. You wore your favorite red heels and spent no longer than five minutes on your smokey eye.
"Steve!" You squealed, you clearly were a tad bit tipsy. "Bucky! Oh my god, you guys are great. So how do you like the party? Pretty amazing, huh?"
"The parties...nice," Steve hesitated, truth be told he wasn't enjoying this party. Parties just weren't his thing, even back in the day when Bucky would drag him to parties, Steve would simply sit at the bar and wait to go home. Steve chuckled as you clumsily sat down in a chair next to him and Bucky, your right hand still grasping your drink.
You took another sip and averted your eyes to Bucky, waiting for his answer. "The parties great! You look like you're enjoying it," Bucky laughed as he watched your eyes grow huge.
"I am!" You squirmed in your seat and looked around the crowded room. You started giggling and turned your attention back to the guys, "I've got hit on four times," You held up four fingers.
Steve raised his eyebrows trying to act impressed and Bucky simply hummed as he took a sip of his beer.
Tony suddenly appeared beside you, clearly already wasted. "I'm going to get drunk tonight!" He laughed as he reached around you and stole a sip of your drink.
You joined in on his laughing and hit his shoulder playfully, "You already are drunk, dumb ass!"
Tony called the bartender over and ordered himself another drink. "I guess I am," He giggled. Tony Stark just fucking giggled.
You got distracted again by a guy who looked fairly attractive across the room, you stood up, adjusting your dress to make your girls look perky. You set your drink down and fixed your hair, you were preparing yourself to make a move on the attractive gentlemen.
"Well, I've found the man that I'm going to try to sleep with tonight. I'll try to catch you two before I leave," You giggled again before making your way across the room.
Once you were gone, Steve turned to Bucky who currently had a displeasing look on his face as he took another drink of his beer. "You know, you should really try to talk to her sometime," Steve said as he turned in his seat to face Bucky.
Bucky made a face, "Steve, I can't just go up and confess my feelings to her. I mean look at her," Bucky glanced back at where you stood with the guy who clearly staring directly at your chest. "She's gorgeous and she's in love with the party life, not me."
"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Tony slurred, butting into the conversation. "Are you talking about Y/N?"
Bucky nodded miserably, "Fucky-I mean Bucky-why don't you just go and tell her you love her?" Tony clearly hadn't been paying attention when Bucky gave his reasoning as to why he couldn't do that only seconds ago.
"It's not that simple," Bucky groaned.
"Yes it is," Tony gulped down his drink, "See what you do, this is what you do, what you do-"
"Would you get to the point," Steve interrupted, he was getting tired of Tony's beer breath in his face.
"You go up to her and you say, 'Y/N, I love you', see now doesn't that seem simple," Tony shrugged his shoulders and grinned as if he had solved the worlds biggest problem with only one try.
"No," Bucky made a face, "Tony, you don't get it."
"But I do," Tony raised his eyebrows dramatically before turning his attention back to his drink.
"This life she's living won't last, she's missing out on I think she wants most. Bucky, she deserves so much better!" Steve insisted.
"What he means by that, is that she deserves you!" Tony jumped in again, "You sir, yes you."
"I think she wants a relationship, she's just in denial right now," That was what Steve thought, it's what he had thought about her since day one.
"Okay, so you know how when someone dies the people close to them go through grieving? There are like these stages of grief that they go through and the first stage is denial. So if you replace the dying part with partying and the grieving part with relationships, then you basically have what she's going through," Tony rambled on and on. Steve made a weird face and Bucky slowly turned to look at him with a strange expression.
"How the hell did that come to mind?" Bucky said the same time Steve said, "Would you shut up?"
All three men stopped talking when you appeared behind Tony with a grin on your face. "Well, I'll see you boys later. I'm leaving with Carter," You winked, a bubbly giggle leaving your lips.
"You go, girl!" Tony cheered but quickly stopped when Steve elbowed him and he remembered what they had just been talking about.
"Oh and Tony, I'll be home early tomorrow. I don't think I want to stick around till he's in the shower this time."
Tony nodded as he downed another shot. "Bucky wants to talk you!" Tony yelled, he ignored Steve's glare and Bucky's wild eyes. "Alone."
Your eyes brightened as you looked over at Bucky with a smile on your lips, "Sure! You can walk me out, Carter's getting the car anyway."
Bucky hesitated, widening his eyes at Steve in panic as you took the last sip of your drink. Steve simply encouraged his friend to go talk to you, it was now or never after all.
Bucky and you stood in silence for a few moments after stepping outside, you were in a light jacket and your legs were covered in goosebumps. Bucky stood close to you, you could feel the coolness radiating off his metal arm but you didn't step away.
"Y/N," Bucky's voice seemed hesitant and quiet. You looked over at him and noticed his eyes were adverted downwards.
"Yeah?" Your silliness from ten minutes ago gone as seriousness started to creep into your surroundings. "What's the matter, Buck?"
"I-uh-I don't know how to say this," He nearly laughed, not in a funny way but in a painful way. "Y/N, I-I think you're beautiful. I like your quirks, like how you name random people on the street and give them a life story. Or how you-when you're not out for the night-you sleep with a stuff animal and you told me this a couple months ago after too many drinks. I like how you hate oranges but love orange juice. I like how you refuse to wear anything that's 'too soft' because it feels weird. I like it when you laugh and I don't mean your cute giggle, which I find adorable too. but I like your genuine laugh. The way your eyes squint and your head turns to the side, and how your hands instinctively hide your face."
He paused and you could hear your heart racing.
"I like you, Y/N. I really like you," Bucky finally looked over at you and his eyes scanned your face looking for any kind of reaction.
You couldn't believe what was happening, your heart was beating so fast that even your hands were shaky and you felt warmth explode throughout your chest. You knew this feeling, you had once before. It was a few years ago, back when partying wasn't even on your agenda. Your thoughts jumbled together and you pushed back the ugly memory that tried creeping its way back in. The same line you've told yourself since that night ran clear through your mind, 'Even your shadow leaves when you're in darkness'.
You opened your mouth to speak but the sudden honking caught you off guard. Carter's car pulled up and he rolled down his window, music poured out of it. You looked over at Carter before looking back at a nervous looking Bucky.
"I-uh-I have to go. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," You fumbled with your phone in your hand and walked towards the car,"I'll catch you later."
You got into the shiny, black car and Bucky watched as it sped off down the road. He stood there for some time, just staring at where the car had disappeared. He felt his heart throb and his mind screaming at him. His phone ringing in his hand made him snap back into reality.
"Hey, Buck! How did it go? Did you tell her? Did she leave with Carter?" Steve threw questions at him, Bucky heard the music from the party in the background and something turned inside him. He turned around and walked away from the building, he started to walk back home. He was done with the party and dealing with people for the rest of the night.
"I'm moving to Australia," Bucky said almost as dramatic as Tony.
You didn't know what time it was, you were guessing it was three or four in the morning. You were still dressed in your black dress from the party hours ago, your hair was starting to get more wavy than curly as the curls flattened. You carried your red heels in your shaky hands as you carried yourself up the steps of the apartment complex. Your feet hurt and your mind was a mess, you were pretty sure your eyeliner and mascara had already smeared around your eyes.
Instead of your thin coat you had brought to Carter's, a New England Patriots jacket was draped over your freezing cold arms. You stopped by some store after realizing you had left your coat at Carters and there was no way you were going back after your mini breakdown you had in front of his loft.
Carter was kind of a dick.
Your aching feet stopped in front of the apartment you were dying to see. You hesitated for a moment, it was late and who knew how long he had even been asleep. You didn't want to be burden but you couldn't think of anywhere else to go. Tony's place was out because of his lady friend he had over, Natasha was on some mission in Germany, Clint was home with his family, Thor was Asgard and Bruce wasn't much help when it came to things like this.
Your fist hesitantly knocked on the door, you waited a moment before you heard some shuffling around. You were almost tempted to go back to your lonely apartment and just stare at a wall while mentally committing suicide.
The door opened and a very tired looking Steve leaned in the doorway. His eyes widened the second he saw you and he scanned his eyes over your body, tilting his head in confusion at your worn down look. You refused to look him in the eye and you clutched your heels to your chest like they were your life.
"Y/N?" Steve's voice was soft and concerned, "Are you okay?" Those simple words were enough to break you.
A sob escaped your lips and tears came rushing down your cheeks again, along with some mascara. Your body was heavily shaking and waves of emotions kept hitting you harder and harder. Steve didn't waste anytime pulling you into his apartment gently and shutting the door behind you. He wrapped his arms around you, trying to calm you down. You clutched onto his shirt and remained sobbing, your walls were down.
"I made a mistake," You sobbed, "I-I made a mistake, Steve. I made a mistake." Steve responded by tightening his grip on you and whispering soothing words.
Steve kept holding you tightly in his living room at four in the morning while you cried. Steve didn't know what was truly wrong but he sensed it had something to do with Bucky. All he really knew was that no matter what, you needed somebody to be there for you even if it was just somebody to hold.