Chapter 2
She says she's fine but she's going insane. She says she feels good, but she's in a lot of pain. She says it's nothing, but it's really a lot. She says she's okay, but really she's not.
Chapter 2
I feel like I'm on cloud nine, it's only when I look down and see my salad that I'm brought back to reality. I eat it slowly; the lettuce is the safe part. Marie and I have a nice talk but soon she leaves and I stand up and throw my salad away. Most of it is left but I go to the bathroom anyway. I wait until everyone is out and then I stick my fingers down my throat determined to make that last little bit come back up. After a few minutes I succeed. I go wash my hands and fix my makeup. I check the time on my phone, 5pm, god I'm going to have to hurry if I want to catch the city bus on time. I get to the bus stop just as it's pulling in, after paying my money I go take a seat and start texting. One from Marie pops up, "Still walking on air?" It reads with a smiley face.
"U know it" I text back. I get home and because neither of my parents are home I fish out the spare key from the flower pot. Unlocking the door and walking through the house I find a note on the kitchen table.
"Will be out until late, help yourself, love mom." Well that is fine with me. I walk into my room and toss my backpack on my bed, homework time. I blast Pierce the Veil and My Chemical Romance as I study for finals, ugh, god I hate studying. After I finish I pullout my notebook and put on DEMI for some inspiration while I'm writing. The next time I glance at the clock its 8pm, I climb out of bed and go take a shower, afterwards I stand surveying my body in the full length mirror. Nothing's changed, I cry with disgust and shame, hating myself for what I was doing but my self-hate consumes me more so I fill my arms and legs with fresh cuts. Some of them were scary deep, I bandaged them the best I could and then put on my pajamas. I crawled into bed and turned on my speakers. I fell into a tumultuous sleep after three songs from John Mayer. Waking up my whole body was filled with stinging pain; I winced, remembering the night before. My mom calls, "You'll be late for school." I groan climbing out of bed and throwing on some clothes.
"Just a minute!" I yell. I domy makeup and conceal my scars and fresh cuts, it stings. I pull my hair into a messy bun and head downstairs. "I'm going over to Maries," I call out, "Don't wait up for me."
"Ok honey, do you want anything to eat?" My mom asks.
"No thanks, I'm good." I say, walking out the door. I grab my bike and pedal to Maries; she only lives two blocks down. She sees me coming from her apartment window and hurries down to meet me.
"You ready for a Demi concert preparation day?" she asks.
"Sure am." I reply. We hop into her car and drive to the mall. First up is finding the perfect outfit, on a side note I really hate shopping, I look so fat and ugly in everything and it's hard to find something that will cover all my scars. We go into Macys and go to the urban corner. I find a cute pair of geometric leggings and a shirred tunic top. I grab a belt and some wedges to complete it.
"Do you want to try it on?" Marie asks.
"No I'm good." I say, "What are you getting?" She holds up a short mini dress with a jacket and some heels, "Its super cute" I say. We walk to the counter and pay for them, Marie insists on treating me, I resist and finally give in. "Ok," I say, "But you have to let me pay for something today ok?"
"Sure," she answers with a smirk. We link elbows and go back out to the car, "On to the hairstylists!" She yells and I laugh. I end up just getting a trim but I get some highlights put in, accenting my gold hair. Marie gets a drastic bob and purple highlights, she rocks it though. She asks if I want to go out to eat and I decline,
"I'm kind of tired," I say, "What if we go crash at your place?"
"Great idea," She replies. At her apartment we do Manis and Pedi's. I do my usual black but Marie goes for a silver blue striped look to match her dress. It's late by the time I get home, 11pm. I put my bike in the garage and creep through the house as quietly as possible trying not to wake anyone.