Telling the girls that you needed time for yourself was pretty difficult. They insisted on going back to your place but the argument that you had to prepare stuff for uni convinced them to leave you alone.
So here you were.
Alone.
You were sitting on the edge of your bed not knowing what to do. If there was a way to prepare yourself you would have, but you couldn't prepare yourself.
What was is that you wanted? - Taehyung.
Yes, he's been an asshole but you didn't believe it. Deep down had to be the Taehyung you've met almost 2 years ago. The Taehyung who visited you at 2 am in the morning, bought you flowers and gifted you with compliments all the time.
Krystal had changed him and you wanted to suck out that Krystal poison and get your Taehyung back. Maybe you were stupid in love but you couldn't change it, you wanted this with all of your heart. Revive the past.
Your motto about living in the present seemed to fade at that aspect, but living in the present was a pain in the ass. And tonight you wanted to change that. With both of you working on it you could get happy again. Just like in the night after the disco.
It was 11 pm and he still hadn't shown his appearance. What if the was messing with you again? How far does he push you until you give up on him? Just when you were thinking about it your door bell rang.
Taehyung.
The adrenaline rushed through your blood as you opened the door to welcome him. He looked like a mess. Just like he had promised it didn't seem that he had drunken alcohol but still his hair was ruffled through and under his eyes were dark bags. You wondered how he had passed these last weeks. Of course he always seemed to be happy with Krystal and at first you thought he was really in love with her and was just messing with you - until the night.
Even the kiss before hadn't convinced you since he was drunk, but in that night he was sober. And he told you many times how he liked it, missed you and enjoyed the moment.
Deep down you hoped he would tell you that he had given up on Krystal and wanted to give you two a new try, but this weird tingling in your stomach was disturbing you. And seeing Taehyung, he didn't seem that he was about to tell you something happy.
Without saying something really he went in and put off his shoes at his spot. You closed the door and quietly followed Taehyung into the living room. While you sat down he was walking back and forth in the room. He seemed extremely nervous.
"Just say it.", you tried to take the pressure off him.
"I... I want to explain everything to you.", he mumbled quietly so that you couldn't understand him at first.
You sighed loudly and leaned back on your sofa. This was an awkward situation. Knowing that he put so much effort into it could've made this situation a bit better for you, but of course it didn't.
"I want to start from the beginning. Why this thing with Krystal even started.", he sat down on the floor right in front of you but didn't look at you, instead he played with the carpet, "I've told you already that I met her when I was buying you flowers. But I didn't tell you everything... Krystal told me right from the beginning that I should break up with you. She became like my best friend, sometimes with benefits when I was drunk. We...we argued a lot and I told Krystal about each of our arguments. Every time she told me that you were just using me. She always told me that our relationship was fake."
You gasped loudly at what he had said. Krystal had taken over his mind and Taehyung obviously hadn't noticed.
"And you believed that? Couples argue that's normal!", you sat up straight and stared at him while he was still playing with the carpet.
"But our amount of fights was too huge! And each time it was me who had to take the fault, always! You never said sorry not once and always expected me to plead on knees for you for forgiveness. I felt so stupid when I caught you kissing another boy and you yelled at me saying I had no right to be angry!", slowly his voice raised.
This was the mistake he had told you about all the time. Whenever he told you to think about the mistakes you had done in your relationship he had meant that. But in that moment that didn't matter.
"I was drunk!", you yelled back at him.
"And that's your excuse?", he looked up at you and you could see that he was super pissed.
But you were too. He was right. You've made mistakes and you ignored them all the time you were in the relationship.
"How dare you put the blame on me after you have cheated on me and left me?", you screamed back at him.
"I've told you that I'm sorry many times! I still regret it! But you made me crazy! It felt like I was the only one who made mistakes and you were perfect. I tried to stay with you but you took everything I did for you for granted. I... I really loved you. But Krystal showed me that I was simply blind because I was so in love.", his last words suddenly were quiet and you noticed his eyes getting teary.
For a few moments you couldn't say anything. What he had said was right, somehow you had ignored all of your mistakes. Putting the blame on someone else was always easier. But right now you realised that the reason he had left you was you. And Krystal.
"You shouldn't have left me. You shouldn't have listened to Krystal.", you whispered quietly.
"She opened my eyes.", his voice sounded so clear suddenly no sign of fear left.
"No. If you really loved me you would have reacted differently.", you started crying and were startled when he suddenly put you into his embrace.
It made you cry even more and for a few minutes you sat there, in his arms, sobbing. You wanted to say sorry but at the same time you wanted to slap him.
"See... when I found our box... All these feelings came back. I've never loved someone as much as I loved you. Back then I was sure that we were going to marry, have five children and live on the countryside when we're old. But it continued that I felt more and more hurt. So I ran into Krystal's arms. And for the first time I felt understood, I can't explain it to you. So I thought I'd be better off with her. But these feelings that I had for you seemed to hunt me. There was always something that reminded me of you and Krystal was so pissed off by that. We had so many fights because of you. And right then when I thought I could forget you I found that box. With your photos and letters I wanted to give to you on our one year anniversary. And all these feelings Krystal had tried to make me forget came back.", his voice sounded so stable and quiet.
Totally opposite to you two screaming at each other just a few minutes ago. His voice was calming you but his words made you nervous.
He continued:"So I visited you. And that was a mistake. I wanted to be back with you but I had Krystal and you had Jimin. At first I was jealous since it seemed to me that you really were over me, but time by time I noticed that you were a mess just like me. This sounds selfish but I was relieved that you felt so. I wasn't the only one. Krystal noticed that I became more and more absent from you so again we had many fights because of you. I told her that I wouldn't leave her like I had left you. I wouldn't do that after everything she had done for me. So I tried to become more distant towards you but then that night when I saw you breaking up with Jimin I felt like this was my chance to get you back. But this was a mistake too, again I was blind. Krystal found out and scolded me. She said that she hated me and for a few seconds I really didn't know what I was doing. You, I loved you but Krystal was there for me. So yesterday she told me that I had to make a final decision. You or her."
Your eyes widened as you stood up. This was the moment you had waited for.
"You still love me, don't you?", it sounded like your voice was about to crack and Taehyung was taken back. You didn't show your vulnerability often but when you did it managed to surprise everyone all the time.
His eyes were flickering and bit his lips, showing he was really thinking about it.
"Yes. Yes I love still you. I wouldn't have slept with you if I didn't.", he sighed but his voice sounded so rough again and so neutral.
Your heart was pounding against your chest, so loud that you were thinking whether he was hearing it too. It seemed too loud to ignore it.
"Taehyung I still love you too.", you sat down beside him and tried to take his hand but he pulled it away. No way.
"But we shouldn't.", he said quietly.
Again Taehyung had managed to shatter your world apart. This time the scar he had left was so deep that you felt like in trance. The pain was blurring your vision and your asthma hit in. Taehyung noticed your heavy breathing leading him to become nervous too.
"I am sorry! But look at us!", he stood up and pointed at the two of you, "We're not good for each other!"
You shook your head and tried to calm down. But nothing helped, and because Taehyung was continuing it got worse.
"We both feel like shit! Our relationship was 98% pain and 2% happiness, so why do we clinge onto each other?"
"Because we want to? We love...", Taehyung interrupted you.
"If we only hurt each other it's not love. We should stop this and move on for the sake of us two. And become happy with someone else."
"But Taehyung I can't be happy with someone else!", you stepped a step forward to him but he stepped back.
"Krystal told me that sometimes it's better to listen to your head instead of your heart, for our own well being."
"Krystal just wants to set us apart and have you for herself! Taehyung, we can work on it, please.", your desperation made you hug him tightly.
Clinging on him, even though he said you had to stop it. You wouldn't let go. Now that you knew that he loved you you wouldn't just give up on him again.
"No. Krystal wants me to be happy.", he pulled you off and walked towards the door.
You grabbed a pillow and threw it into his direction, hoping this would stop him. But it didn't. He had put on his shoes already when you reached him. He was about to leave.
He cupped your cheeks and looked deep into your eyes, as if this was your farewell.
"I'm sorry. It's going to be hard the first few days, but at the end it's better for the two of us. You'll find someone who's going to make you happy and not like me... make you cry all the time. I'm sorry."
Without letting you say something anymore he opened the door.
"Taehyung you made me happy!", were your last words before he slowly closed the door. Letting you become one with the floor again.
Author's note:
Hi !! ♡
Sorry if this chapter was a mess I didn't edit it because I'm just too tired but I wanted to post one today sooooo I hope it's still okay!!
Also sorry (lol I'm saying 'sorry' a lot, not like the protagonist trolololol) I didn't update on Tuesday :(
I'm having a lots of exams these days so my brain is not able to function anymore... I usually write late at nights but this week idk I just couldn't do it. But next update is on Sunday so I'll update regularly again!
Really hope you liked this chapter, also I hope that it's a bit more clear now why Taehyung behaved the way he behaved!
Thank you for reading, voting & commenting!! ♡♡
Have a nice day ~~
{ p.s.: btw as who do you imagine the protagonist? because even though i'm writing it I have no idea. I imagine her to be a cute girl but I got nothing more lol. }