© Copyright Nicole Nelson, 2011
Grace's POV-
I woke up to a pounding headache, feeling as if I was ran over by a dump truck. I moaned and reached for my head only to find out I wasn't alone. My arm was tangled up with someone else's arm. Not just someone else's; Brandon's.
My mind finally processed enough of last night's fuzzy memories to remember that Paul had attacked me and most that I had invited Brandon to lay in my bed with me.
How embarassing. I thought, groaning again when my head began to throb.
There was no sunlight streaming through the curtain and I glanced to my alarm clock to check the time. It read 4:55. Apparently I had been sleeping just long enough for the feeling of dizziness and silliness to wear off and now I was left with what was feeling alarmingly like the dreaded hangovers everyone complained about.
I felt Brandon stir next to me and rolled over to face him. He looked wide awake and I squinted in pain, reaching for my head again.
"My head is killing me." I complained.
He chuckled and reached for the nighstand. I winced again at the loud noise of his laughter.
"I'm glad you find this amusing." I said sarcastically as he handed me a glass of water and two aspirin.
I struggled for clarity and a detailed account of what happened as I swallowed the pills and washed them down with large gulps of water. My mouth was feeling like sandpaper.
“When is coach getting home?” Brandon asked after I had drank the entire glass of water. I winced again before answering, my voice sounding like sandpaper as well.
“Tomorrow night...But slow down. What happened last night?”
“You don’t remember?”
“No, I do. I mean...I remember some. But not everything.”
I tried to sit up straighter and ended up sharply hissing my next breath and wincing once again. Moving around seemed to make me nauseous and as one hand flew to my mouth my other hand flew to my tummy.
"Lay back down and get some more sleep." Brandon suggested, covering me up with my blanket again and gently pushing me back toward my pillow.
I followed his instructions since he definitely had more experience with this than I did.
“Well...What all do you remember?” He asked reluctantly after I was settled.
“I remember….Paul brining me a beer. And then I tried a marguarita. And I remember I was feeing pretty strange and I told him it was over...And then he was kissing me and I was scared and….me and Paul didn’t…???” I trailed off questioningly.
“No.” He replied firmly.
A sense of relief washed over me.
“I remember him taking off my shirt and that’s the last thing I remember clearly...” I trailed off, frustrated that I couldn't remember.
"I came and brought you home."
I sat silently, thinking of the implication of his statement. He had saved me from Paul, although he wouldn't say that. I nodded to let him know I understood.
“You should go back to sleep.” He suggested as he laid back down beside me.
I snuggled up beside him and looked him straight in the eyes across the dim inches that seperated us.
"I want you to take my virginity." I whispered boldly.
"You're still drunk. You should go to sleep." He yawned, not taking me seriously.
I had slept off most of the loopy feeling and was left with clear thoughts and a massive headache.
"I don't mean right now." I said, annoyed at his dismissal.
“I don’t want my first time to be some incident like last night.”
“It wont be.” He assured me, fluffing his pillow.
“If it's with you," I continued "I'll know you aren’t just using me and-”
“Gracie, I-”
“You wont hurt me." I said, talking over him before I lost the courage to say what I needed to say. "I mean. I know we aren’t dating or anything and I know you don’t feel that way about me..."
He opened his mouth to say something but, again, I cut him off.
"I'm okay with that. But I'm comfortable with you. It would just seem right. I would have regretted being with Paul and I know I could never regret being with you.”
Silence from his end caused me to keep digging myself into a hole of potential embarassment.
“It would only have to be one time. Just be my first before you go to Ohio. I don't want to end up wasting it on some loser.”
I saw the window of opportunity for this to happen dwindling away. Our friendship could never be the same once he moved away, lived in a dorm, began dating college girls I didn't know. We would both have different lives and I feared our friendship would not be as comfortable as we were now.
He hadn't tried to kiss me again after the first one and as grateful as I was at the time seeing as I was Paul's girlfriend, it could only mean one thing. That it hadn't been electric for him like it had been for me. Regardless, I wanted to spend that special moment with him and although he wasn't in love with me I was positive he loved me as a friend.
“No.”
“Wow. Don’t spare my feelings or anything.” I said sarcastically.
He sighed and sat up, rubbing his hand over his forehead as if he were having a headache of his own.
“How about you just don’t do it with anyone? Then it won't be wasted at all." He suggested. "Your first time should be with someone you love.”
I opened my mouth to tell him he knew I loved him since we were in elementary school when he cut me off, much like I had been doing to him.
“And I mean Someone youre in love with. It's not the same.”
He was not wanting to have this conversation and didn't try to hide it. I rolled over dramatically, facing away from him. After several moments of jerking around the covers in exaggerated moves my mom would call "pouting" I lay still. But I wasn't able to drop the topic that was clouding the room with tension and, more than anything, hurt my feelings.
“Am I really that awful? You can't even force yourself to sleep with me?”
“I just can't, okay?"
"You sleep with everyone!" I exclaimed.
"I cant take that from you. You're different.”
“No guy turns down sex from a girl that's decent looking." I droned on. "I know I'm nothing compared to Brooke but I didn’t realize I was that bad.”
“You're beautiful." He said in a tone that suggested I was crazy for thinking otherwise. "She's a troll compared to you! You know that's not what this is about."
Finally, I decided to let it go with an ounce of dignity intact after practically throwing myself at, and getting epically rejected by, my best friend. My emotions were going haywire.
Dissapointment.
Anger.
Hurt.
Embarassment.
Along with a dangerous amount of pride that caused me to act as if it the rejection didn't really matter.
“I'm obviously going to do it eventually. I just thought it would be better if it was with you. Just forget it.”
“You're still drunk.” Was his grand response.
“No I'm not.” I argued with finality in my tone, displaying how over this conversation I was.
“I think you are." He chuckled, causing me to laugh and lose my angry demeanor. "In fact, I bet you regret even bringing this up tomorrow."
"I already do." I called out in fake cheer over my shoulder.
He chuckled again and scooted closer to me, pulling me against his chest.
“Goodnight Gracie.” He whispered, stroking my hair.
“Goodnight.” I whispered back and snuggled back into his warm embrace.
* * *
BRANDON'S POV-
After learning what what was on Gracie's drunken mind, I couldn't seem to fall asleep. I tried, but my thoughts kept wandering back to that out of the blue conversation.
First of all, how in the hell could she possibly conclude that Brooke was prettier than her? Guys liked Brooke because she was easy and dressed provocatively with make-up caked on her face. Guys liked Gracie for the opposite reasons. She was innocent, natually pretty, and dressed cute yet modestly. Most importantly she was sweet, something Brooke knew nothing about.
More importantly, Why would she decide she wanted to be with me in that way? She had a traumatic day and I'm sure that contributed to her confusion. However, I would be moving to Ohio in about five months. I was the worst candidate for someone she should become any more deeply attached to than a friend.
And despite her insistence that it would mean nothing, I knew her well and that event would mean a lot to her. And despite what she seemed to assume, it would mean a lot to me as well. I was grateful that she had cut me off before I was able to tell her that I did have feelings for her and wanted nothing more than to be with her in the way she was asking me to be.
The temptation to agree to this insane idea of hers almost won. However, I cared about what was best for her long term and deep inside I knew that to have your best friend take your virinity and move across the country a few months later would cause her more heartache than happiness. She would hate me for that and regret it, no matter how much she tried to deny the possibility of having regrets.
I was torn. On one hand it was a truely horrible idea conjured by a girl who was somewhere between a hangover and still a little drunk. On the other hand, however, she made a valid point that she would do it eventually with someone. And what if that first guy was an asshole, like Paul, who used her? I loved her and there was no denying that our feelings were growing into something more than friendship on both ends, even if she hadn't realized and accepted that yet.
It was simply poor timing that this attempted to blossom right before my high school graduation. I lifted my head and looked at her sweet face, fast asleep. I was mesmerized by how flawless skin was and how her long dark lashes curled above her closed eyes.
I whispered her name right above her ear, letting my lips graze her soft skin as I did.
She woke up with a shiver at my breath blowing on her ear.
"Mmhmm?" She hummed sleepily.
“You're really beautiful, Grace. You can have anyone you want.” I told her honestly.
“Anyone?” She mumbled sleepily yet playfully with a small smile on her lips.
“Anyone.” I assured her.
“Except for you.” She whispered as she fell back to sleep.
After that I decided I should rest as well and put a stop to my sleep deprived thoughts. I tightened my arm around her waist and continued combing my fingers through her hair until I drifted into a deep slumber along with her.