Author: Chai JiDan
Full Etrans: Anne Noh
Jiang XiaoShuai had just cleaned up the clinic. On the spotless floor, a pair of unpleasant shoe print could be seen.
Jiang XiaoShuai straightened up and looked coldly at Guo Cheng Yu. This was his nth visit at the clinic to harass the doctor. Ever since the day he accidentally came there, Guo Cheng Yu had a strong interest on Jiang XiaoShuai after he had exchanged a few words with the doctor. He came almost every day, each time with a different disease which earned him a several curses but he never got tired.
"Dr. Jiang, I have a very serious disease."
Jiang XiaoShuai did not look at Guo Cheng Yu, picked up the mop and fiercely dragged it on the shoeprint that was left maliciously by someone.
Guo Cheng Yu's pair of eyes had been following Jiang XiaoShuai, [1] the blood capillary in his eyes wanted to soar out, to become a several ropes, to tie up the handsome little doctor, forced him into the car and take a sweet time to sexually harass him. He couldn't suppress his desire after he had began to fantasize about the doctor hence he embraced Jiang XiaoShuai's waist directly, their whole bodies stuck together.
[T/N: [1] The 'blood capillary' (he had bloodshot) in his eyes wanted to soar out, to become a several ropes, to tie up the 'handsome little' doctor (Xiao - Little, Shuai - Handsome; pun using Jiang XiaoShuai name), forced him into the car and take a sweet time to sexually harass him - it is a hyperbole - he was staring at Jiang XiaoShuai with his bloodshot eyes and he really wants to have sex with Jiang XiaoShuai. ]
"Dr. Jiang, what did you used to wash your white coat? Why it smell so nice?"
Jiang XiaoShuai looked resentful, two beautiful eyebrows were screwed together. He turned and flung a fist at the corner of Guo Cheng Yu's mouth. Guo Cheng Yu did not avoid and leisurely let Jiang XiaoShuai punched him. Then, he stuck out his tongue, sexually licked over the place Jiang XiaoShuai had violated, eyes full of desire to violate (to inflict pain for sexual pleasure).
Jiang XiaoShuai tried to punch again, but was firmly grabbed by Guo Cheng Yu. He could not move his hand.
"If you give me a doctor (checkup), I won't trouble you."
Jiang XiaoShuai nonchalantly put his hand down and sat at the diagnosis table.
"Which part is uncomfortable?"
Guo Cheng profoundly said, "Yesterday, I took off my pants and discovered that two eggs (testicles), one was big and one was small. The differences are particularly significant. You say, did my organ suffer a lesion, or something is wrong with my eyes? Dr. Jiang, I take the pants off, can you help me to take a look? See whether both eggs are equally big..."
He stared directly at Jiang XiaoShuai.
Jiang XiaoShuai did not get angry, calmly took two pills.
"These two aren't equally big?"
Guo Cheng Yu nodded.
Jiang XiaoShuai diagnosed immediately, "there's no problem with your eyes."
"There's something wrong with my organ." Guo Cheng Yu pretended to be worried, "Why don't you help me to treat it Dr. Jiang? Doesn't it write 'Rejuvenation Specialist' on your banner? I need your skilful hands..." he held Jiang XiaoShuai's hand and led it to his crotch,"...to help me to rejuvenate."
"No need for that." Jiang XiaoShuai drawn back his hand, "get rid of it, and never feel trouble about it again."
As soon as he finished talking, the door was pushed open, Wu Suowei went into the clinic.
Jiang XiaoShuai's face that was very calmed just now had turned 180 degree because of the bald Wu Suowei.
"Why did you shaved your head till bald?"
Guo Cheng Yu looked towards Wu Suowei and laughed, "This year is the rise of baldy?" Two days ago, he had run into the 'big baldy Chi' (Chi da tuzi) , and today he met a 'baldy Wu' (Wu tuzi).
Wu Suowei went to his room and changed his dirty clothes. He then came out after he had draped over a gray linen.
Guo Cheng Yu looked at Wu Suowei for a moment. With the shiny bald head, the perfectly round big eyes, adding with the linen...Suddenly he crooked his mouth, turned his head and shouted, "Hey, Wangzi, doesn't he looks like [2] Ikkyu?"
[T/N: [2] Ikkyu is a Buddhist cartoon, a bald monk. Refer picture below.]
Li Wang laughed.
Wu Suowei had been practicing [3] meditation hence he was quite strong. He looked straight at Guo Cheng Yu's eyes, looked calmly than his master (Jiang XiaoShuai).
[T/N: [3] Jidan used 'neigong' 内功 - meditation practice associated with Daoism and Chinese martial arts. ]
"You're very sick. [4] Even your eyes have excrement."
[T/N: [4] He is talking about Conjunctivitis. ]
Guo Cheng Yu did not understand but Jiang XiaoShuai understood hence he immediately titter a smile. When he couldn't hold his laugh, he hunched over and rushed to the back room. Laughing from bed to bed and holding the railing while he laughed madly.
Wu Suowei has colorblind. Others saw Guo Cheng Yu's eyes were covered with bloodshot, but in Wu Suowei's eyes it had became yellow, hence it was only a remarks.
Until Guo Cheng Yu gone, Jiang XiaoShuai still didn't stop laughing.
Wu Suowei touched his bald head, "is it funny?"
Jiang XiaoShuai stopped laughing and seriously asked Wu Suowei, "What happened to your hair?"
Wu Suowei threw the linen aside, bitterly took a deep breath and told the whole story to Jiang XiaoShuai.
Jiang XiaoShuai asked, "you really let him caught you?"
"Yes." Wu Suowei was gloomy, "I obviously wore a mask, how did he recognize me?"
"Do you think there are many people that dare to smash a brick to their head?"
Wu Suowei did not believe it. He had a feeling that his eyes were a misdemeanor. In front of a mirror, he stared straight at his reflection in the mirror. He took photos and observed from different angles. It seemed that his eyes were irritable.
"Hey, XiaoShuai, do you think I should go to plastic surgery hospital to sew the corner of my eyes? I suspected it is too big."
"Do you want me to pull it out?" Jiang XiaoShuai was displeased, "Ah your entire face depend on these eyes! Many people are envious and jealous of it!"
"My eyes are too big, any thought couldn't be covered. As long as there's a City Government Officer, these eyes will shine brightly."
Jiang XiaoShuai looked passed Wu Suowei black and curly eyelashes and said profoundly, "You are wrong. A weapon is sharper when it is brighter. You need patience to polish it, use it, and it will become your exclusive weapon."
Jiang XiaoShuai had not told the truth. It didn't matter if Wu Suowei had done many wicked things, just take a look in his eyes, Jiang XiaoShuai thought that he is really honest. Such natural advantage is scarce.
[2] Ikkyu
Please note that some part might be incorrect as we don't know how to translate the slangs and idioms to English and translators might rely on the pinyin. Mistakes are bound to happen and corrections are very welcome.