Author: Chai Jidan
Full Etrans: Anne Noh
Proofreader: Rachel
"Find a shady place and wait for me, I'm going to pick you up!"
Wu Qiqiong put down the phone, wiped his hands with a piece of cloth, and happily went to his room to change his clothes.
"Is she coming?" His mother went into his room.
Wu Qiqiong used his rough and thick-skinned hands to tug the singlet that stuck to his body due to sweat. He looked at his mother with his big eyes, unable to hide his wide grin.
"Coming."
Today Wu Qiqiong's girlfriend was going to meet his parent for the first time.
The sun was up in the sky and the cicadas sang loudly. There was a huge garbage bin not far from Wu Qiqiong's house. Around one period, it would emit a rancid smell and it would be blown to the kitchen of every household. Wu Qiqiong walked past the garbage bin and an ice cream wrapper was stuck to his shoe. He roughly stomped and rubbed hard against the ground, making thousands of flies dispersed instantly.
Yue Yue stood at the alley entrance with a look of anxiety and impatience.
Upon seeing Wu Qiqiong walking towards her, Yue Yue suddenly felt a sense of disgust. She didn't know if it was because she saw the layer of fat hanging around his stomach, or the two strands of hair sticking out from his head, or maybe because she saw his greasy face that was covered with soot...
"Let's go, the food is almost ready," Wu Qiqiong held Yue Yue's hand.
Yue Yue suddenly yanked her hand away; her face was hidden by the shade. Her eyes were cold.
"Why? Are you nervous?" Wu Qiqiong laughed teasingly, "Don't worry. My mom is from the countryside. She will not make things difficult for you. My mom is very happy to know that you are coming, she's been anticipating since two days ago and she went out early this morning to do the grocery shopping."
"Why don't ...we break up?" Yue Yue said.
Wu Qiqiong thought he misheard her. He stared straight at her and for a long time he did not say a word.
Yue Yue said, "Just staying like this, both of us are really boring."
"How can it be boring? I feel quite refreshed!"
Yue Yue laughed bitterly, "That's only you."
Then, she turned to leave but Wu Qiqiong grabbed her hand.
"Yue Yue, we have been together for seven years. You can't say something like that. At least give me a reason."
Yue Yue looked at Wu Qiqiong in askance, "Is [1] 'seven year itch' valid as a reason?"
[T/N: [1] 'seven year itch' – psychological term; relationship will decline after seven years or marriage / relationship. ]
"We can scratch if it itches!"
"[2] Scratch my ass!" Yue Yue exploded without any reason; her pretty small mouth was spitting venom. "I'll tell you. Don't fool around, I'm not joking with you. Starting today, we are officially over, now we are friends."
[T/N: [2] Jidan wrote 你大爷 which literally means 'your uncle'. Chinese tend to use family member or ancestor when cursing.]
"How can we break up when we are good together?" Wu Qiqiong was trying to save their relationship with all his efforts. "Tell me which part of me is awful? I can change."
Yue Yue rolled her eyes in annoyance, "Which part is not good? Just wish you are born again!"
Wu Qiqiong said stubbornly, "I don't believe it."
"You don't believe me? Do you have any reason to not believe my words?" Yue Yue's beautiful face was covered with a flush due to anger, "I didn't say anything to save your pride, but you still asked. Since you are never bashful, I'm going to tell you about it today."
Wu Qiqiong listened carefully, sincere to change.
Yue Yue took a deep breath; pointed at Wu Qiqiong's double chin and said, "tell me, ever since we have been together, how much weight have you gained? You were so skinny during freshman! So fit! Take a look at yourself right now, sinking deeper and deeper when you walk. I feel like I'm holding a Tibetan Mastiff when we go shopping."
Wu Qiqiong felt unjust, "Didn't you say you feel insecure with skinny men?"
"Yes, that's what I said." Yue Yue spat profanity, "Now I'm fucking secure right? I'm so secure that I can't help but cry. Did you know? During these days, I dream that there's a third wheel between us and I laugh every time I wake up."
Please note that some part might be incorrect as we don't know how to translate theslangs and idioms to English and translators might rely on the pinyin. Mistakesare bound to happen and corrections are very welcome.