You know that feeling of apprehension you get when you have an angry parrot sitting on your shoulder? Knowing that the crazed bird will claw your face off at any given moment?
I suspect having me sit on his shoulder in a bad mood had Nigel at a similar level of terror.
The tall blond remained stiff, even after Vain stopped glaring at him.
Every movement was taken carefully, so as not to jostle me, for fear of what I might do to him if I am disturbed from my brooding slumber...
Not that he had any real reason to fear.
I was letting it go.
After all, Peri was going to watch, needed to be watching, whether I wanted him to or not.
So this was me, taking one for the team. Maturely.
Like a saint.
On a white unicorn.
"How-
Nigel literally jumped the moment I spoke up, causing me to cut off with an undignified hiss as my perch jolted.
.... Would it be a bit harsh to rip his eardrum out for that...?
Near trembling with nerves, it was obvious, Nigel wasn't handling this very well.
Better not, I think it's the only thing keeping his brain from falling out.
It seemed Nigel had just about as much faith in himself and his ability not to break me as Vain did.
But even for Nigel... this is a bit over the top.
"-are we going to get into the Hill." I finished asking, biting back any comment I had about Nigel's state of unhinged.
It was a fair question.
Now that all eight of us were standing directly at the foot of the Hill, the matter of how we were going to get into the niche below was becoming a real issue.
Seeing as the only way to open the hidden entrance was to have one of the five keys.
Surely, in their diabolical cleverness, Alan and Vain knew that they would need one of the Cards to open the Hill when they... Oh, that's right, destroyed them all.
The Jack, The Queen, The King, The Ace or The Joker. All of which were shredded by Vain, if you count playing on my emotional turmoil in order to get me to rip my own card.
I do.
Alan sent me a cheerful smile. "Why the pessimistic look Maddison? Surely you know better than to doubt my brilliance?"
I glared at him, not in the mood.
"Since most of your brilliant schemes seem to involve screwing me over, I'm just curious about what you intend to do next."
Alan smiled all the wider. "Tsk tsk Maddison, always so bad-tempered when in the middle of one of your lover's spats. Mayhaps you should save your questions for later when you're not just looking for an excuse to bite someone's head off. "
I gaped at him, momentarily shocked by the confrontation.
Just like that, I knew.
Alan was mad at me.
And was actually showing it.
With the realisation, my eyes instantly narrowed.
Alan is always a smartass who mouths off and says provocative things. Normally though, he's too good-humoured for his words to have any real bite.
No, the mean streak only comes out once someone had really irked him...
Or rather, Alan only gets angry like this when someone upsets Alex.
This is where the confusion lay.
Alex was fine. Alex was watching the exchange with a mild look of irritation.... which was a sign of perfect health in his case.
No, the one standing with his back turned to us... To Me, the one who had taken the brunt of my anger and was now doing his best to deal with his frustration in cold silence...
Was Vain.
All of this registered in the back of my mind, but at the forefront, a single thought dominated.
This punk...
... was picking a fight...
... with moi?
If this ball gown had sleeves, I would be rolling them up in preparation to properly hand Alan his ass.
"Bad-tempered eh?" I met Alan's smile with one of my own, though I held little doubt that it looked more murderous than anything else. "In that case, what's your excuse, bitch?"
Ha, take that. Name-calling nullifies any intelligent argument.
Arms crossed, I watched Alan's cheerful expression twitch. His gaze sharpened dangerously for an instant, causing me to stand aggressively.
You wanna go?
"Haha, sorry." He chuckled disarmingly, rubbing the back of his head. "It seems as though my tolerance for childish behaviour might be wearing a little thin after the long day I've had."
I laughed too.
"You don't have to apologise Alan. After all, being Old enough to dismiss everyone's problems as childish must be really convenient, right? "
Alan laughed.
I laughed with him.
We stood there, laughing.
It was all just. So.
Funny.
"Stop it, idiot." Alex smacked his brother on the back of the head. "You're supposed to be the adult here."
Alan sent his brother a betrayed looked, to which Alex gave an impatient scowl.
"I don't care who's fault it is. If you make Nigel cry I'm making you both wait in the helicopter."
That drew our attention to the fact that Nigel had gone completely white, freaking out as I started moving hazardly on his shoulder.
Alex pointed a thumb at the poor boy.
"With him."
That shut us up.
Ignoring the offended looks we were giving him, Alex turned his back on us, walking up to the tree on the Hill. Without another word, he jumped, swinging himself up onto one of the lower branches and proceeding to climb.
Irritated but fearful of my fate, I crossed my arms and did my best to behave.
It's fine. Not like I wanted to have a bitch fight with Alan anyway...
He'd probably win.
A moment later, Alex dropped from the tree, landing easily on his feet and brushing a leaf from his hair.
In his hand, he held a small bag.
I'd know that bag anywhere.
"That's the Bag you had me abducted in." I sent Apollo an accusing look.
He returned it with a bored glare.
"Not my idea Tramph. I just do the dirty work. "
"Yea, like chucking a jug of icy water on me," I muttered.
"No, that was an original idea."
Alex loosened the drawstrings on the bag, which seemed more like a simple pouch from the outside, and pulled out the objects that lay inside.
In his hand, Alex held The Queen, The King, The Ace, The Joker,
And even The Jack.
"If this were a card game." Artemis murmured in quiet shock.
"I'd say you've already won."