*****Warning for those who don't like the steamy stuff.......ENJOY for those of you who do ;)
Liam
I was a mother-fucking liar that was going to be so screwed at the end of this arrangement. Telling myself the rules out loud was a poor attempt at trying to convince myself we weren't already too tangled up in all the emotions and connections between us. We were on a burning ship and I just pretended that agreeing there were life vests would keep us from actually going down with the ship.
Denial is a powerful thing. I was denying that my heart felt a connection that first day when our eyes met at her brother's funeral. I was denying that each little thing she shared about her life made me fall a little more for her. I was denying that sex with her was different than it was with other girls. That feeling her around me wasn't the best feeling in the world—one that I knew I was never going to feel again if I didn't agree to keep our relationship being a friends with benefits deal. So in short, I was denying everything I already knew and that included the fact that walking away from her in a few days was going to cut me open so wide, I'd be lucky to ever sew the wound back up.
I closed my eyes and relaxed into the mattress with Juliet still tucked so perfectly along my body. What the fuck was I doing? Pines, if you are out there man, I'm so sorry. I tried to stay away, but she's just too powerful a force for me to turn my back on. I'm sprung on her. I want to be the one she cries to and to protect her from the fucking redneck boy in his daddy's pick up that couldn't keep his eyes off her. I screwed up. I violated the bro code and I know I deserve a complete ass whooping. Please forgive me. I'll make it right somehow. I just wish there was a way I could get your blessing. If I knew you respected me enough to trust me with her—I'd do whatever the fuck it took to convince her to give me a shot. We've talked about how asking a girl to wait for you is fucked up. It's not fair and it pretty much guarantees heartbreak. Damn it. Just give me a sign. What the fuck should I do?
I waited for a while; almost laughing at myself for thinking I'd get a sign.
Finally I fell asleep. I was sitting in the shop, with Pines as we waited to be let go for the night. We were talking shit about Garver and the way he was so stuck on his lady that he often skipped out on our poker games or the beer garden so he could write her an email instead. Pines turned to me and said, "He's a goner. Asshole is so head over heels for that girl he can't seem to see straight. I can't believe he asked her to wait for him." I shook my head. I saw way too many relationships end before they really even got started. Maybe Garver's would be different, but I wasn't sure.
Pines tossed something at Garver as he was staring off into space. "Wake up numb nuts. Quit dreaming about that girl of yours and get your head back to your work." The only thing giving away that he was just giving him shit was the small smile that he couldn't suppress. Garver turned around and gave him the bird.
"Fuck off. You wish you had a girl waiting for your stupid ass."
Pines shook his head. He was quiet for a minute while he thought of his response. It looked like there might be more to his warning than he would ever admit. I wasn't going to ask him because he'd just tell me to mind my own business and that I was his shrink. "You ever think what it might be like for her to be waiting on you? That shit isn't easy. I've got my mom and sister back at home and I'd never want to see them go through that. We gave up our right to know where we'll be months from now. We can't even promise them we'll be in this country. Can't make a promise to go home that doesn't run the risk of being yanked away. That shit just breaks them down."
"Pines your making me want to slit my wrists over here," Sanchez chimed in. "For fucks sake can't we just talk about how hot that waitress at the burger joint is."
Pines just ignored him and looked to Garver. "You better make it up to her. When you get out of the Corps, you better have a 9-5 job in whatever city she wants to live in. You better give her a little house that you will actually go home to with a bed that you will actually get to hold her in—because God knows she doesn't get that right now. Then you better spend the rest of your life putting down roots. Grow those mother fuckers so deep, she never has to think about you guys being apart again."
A low whistle was heard from someone in the shop, but Garver and Pines just continued to look at each other. It was serious. I immediately made the decision to not get involved while I was in. I didn't know why Pines was so hell bent on getting us to understand that shit, but I heard it loud and clear. Garver nodded his head. "Will do brother," and with that, we all went back to work.
I saw the weapon in my hand and wondered how we'd gotten out there again. The sun was hot and the sand had kicked up, making it hard to see ahead of us. We were riding in a convoy, a bunch of young Marines listening to music and slowly plugging along behind a row of other vehicles. It was so interesting how I heard the explosion and then felt the wall of vibration as if it had traveled slightly delayed. I looked up out the dirty window and watched as pieces of rations, shards of metal and scraps of fabric soaked with blood rose from the earth and pounded down onto our hood.
I sat straight up in bed. My body covered in sweat and my hands clasped so tightly into fists I was sure my palms would be bleeding from the small bite of my nails. It was dark. So dark in the room and even though I knew instantly that time I was safe, I still scanned every inch of it with my eyes. I heard Juliet beside me, but I couldn't make out what she was saying. Her voice seemed muffled and miles away, but she was holding onto my arm and trying to rub my face and bring it back around to look at hers. When I did, I was so relieved I pulled her to me by her arms and wrapped my arms around her, burying my face in her hair.
I let her go after a minute. She didn't ask questions, we both just moved down to rest our heads on our pillows. She watched me as I stared up at the hotel ceiling. My heart was still hammering away in my chest and my thoughts were consumed by every detail of what I'd seen just months ago. None of my friends were hurt, but Marines lost their lives that day and I couldn't seem to tuck away the images in my mind in a place where I could lock the door behind them.
Her hand moved out and rested on my chest. I turned my head and looked at her face. My eyes had adjusted and I could clearly see her delicate features. There wasn't pity there like I'd feared, just a calm understanding that a few demons might have hitched a ride home with me. I ran my thumb along her brow and down the side of her face. I wasn't going to be able to go back to sleep tonight, and I hoped she wasn't trying to stay awake so that I didn't feel alone.
Her hand on my chest slid lower, floating across my ribs and along my side. I watched her eyes, the calm from just seconds ago giving way to something else entirely that had my heart racing with excitement instead of from the shocked awakening in the middle of the night. I might have been holding my breath as her fingertips moved along the waistband of my shorts. If she was meaning to get my interest there it was working. "Juliet," I whispered, but she didn't let me finish.
Her long leg crossed over mine, her knee bending and rising to my waist. I knew she could feel the effect she was having on me already. I just watched her eyes completely fascinated by what she'd do next. My hand slid up the back of her leg, stopping only when it felt the small scrap of her panties beneath. Anything thoughts that might have been hanging out in my mind melted away and all I could think about was what it would feel like to tuck my fingers beneath the lace. Her breathing was speeding up and I knew my own wasn't far behind.
Her lips met mine slowly, her teeth nipping at my upper lip sending shocks of desire straight to my dick. I pushed my hand into her hair, tipping to deepen the kiss that was driving me insane with need. Then the most amazing thing happened---she straightened herself as she rose to straddle my body. A strangled moan left my lips as she settled herself on top of me. I didn't want her to feel like she had to do this and I was worried she might still be sore from what we'd done only a few hours ago. "We don't have..." I tried, but she just bit her lip and reached for the hem of her t-shirt, pulling it slowly from her body so that the only thing she had on were her panties. I was hesitant to touch her, still feeling a little like I might be dreaming.
Her braid was messy from sleep, her skin so soft and warm as my hands reached up and cupped her before gliding along her ribs and dipping into the small string of her panties. "Let me help you forget," she whispered. She got up on her knees and wiggled them down until she could kick them off and I would have been happy with her just straddling me as I ran my palms over every gorgeous inch of her. But she had other plans. She tucked her fingers in my waistband and with one move, and of course complete cooperation on my part, she had my shorts shoved down to my ankles where I easily kicked them free.
She reached for my wallet on the night table and handed it to me. Scooting back enough that she could wrap her hand around my dick and squeeze as she moved her hand from root to tip in a move that had me pushing up into her palm and unable to focus on what she needed. She mouthed, "condom," and I tried to focus and find one in my wallet. One left. I held it in between my fingers while she made another trip up and then down my length making me completely lose my mind. Her small thumb circled the tip and I had to shut my eyes because watching would have pushed me over the edge. She took the wrapper from my fingers and released me long enough to open it and place it at the tip. I had to watch that time as she rolled it down my length and then gripped me at the tip and let her fist travel down with an increased pressure that caused tiny bumps to rise all along my skin and a curse to escape my lips.
"I've never been on top. What do you want me to do?" she asked and I could hear the insecurity in her voice, which left me so confused considering she had complete and utter control and everything she was doing felt so right.
"I want you to let me in, then move however feels good to you." I ran my thumbs along the inside of her legs.
"Tell me if it's not right," she said as she began to get positioned. I grabbed her hips and stopped her.
"What did he do to you?" I moved a hand up to touch her face. "I want to fucking kill him for putting any doubt in your head. You are sexy and seductive. So much so that it physically hurts." I took her hand and wrapped it around the part of me that was so hard it ached, right on the verge of pleasure and pain. "Your body against mine, your body around mine—all of it feels good. You can't do it wrong. Move how it feels good for you and I swear it will do me in."
She nodded her head and positioned me between her legs. When she pressed down on top of me it was pure bliss. Her hands held onto my chest as she rose up again and I loved the way she held her breath as she slid back down, then released it with a satisfied whoosh, as our bodies met leaving no space between her skin and mine. I needed her mouth. I moved my hand to the nape of her neck and held it there as she moved once again, scrambling my thoughts and thwarting my plans. Her eyes closed and she rocked back once fully seated, letting me fill her up. My hand tightened at the back of her neck and the other gripped her thigh, holding her to me as much as I was fighting to not take over the pace. Her movement was slow torture, pulling my body so tight with the need to release that my head grew dizzy.
Finally, I looked into her eyes and remembered that if I didn't get my lips to hers right in that moment, I might not have the air I needed to breathe. I bend her over so that her chest was pressed against mine and thrust my tongue into her mouth, claiming it. She tortured me forever, moving slowly up, then down, rocking her hips and kissing my mouth. She sat back, taking a second to tuck the wayward strands behind her ears and I just took in the sight above me. I finally had space to move my hands along her sensitive flesh, skipping the slow methodic swirls for a more demanding stroke that had her fingers digging into my chest, her eyes wide, and her mouth agape, until she cried out. I watched for as long as I could take it and then I pulled her tight against me, holding her down with one firm hand and whispered, "Brace yourself." Her knees dug into the bed on either side, and I let my hand fall to that perfect spot where her long legs met her ass. Holding her tightly I thrust up in to her again and again, listening to the quick, shallow sucks of air as she fell apart again and I buried myself deep with a release that hit so hard and so powerful I thought it would stop my heart...and I wouldn't have cared if it had.
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