》 6 months. I miss him. Still. 《
Has he said that he knows you two couldn't become friends? He was whispering and his face being buried in your shoulder didn't help making his words sound clearer. As you laid in your bed, covered in three blankets and surrounded by a million pillows you kept on wondering. You wanted to know so badly, but the chances of you two meeting again were small.
Jimin came bringing you a cup of tea. You reached out and burned your fingers a little bit making him grin.
"Why couldn't your friend drive you back home?", he asked sitting down at the edge of your bed.
"An emergency occurred. I don't know what emergency exactly though. But again thanks for picking me up.", you reached your hand out so he could grab yours and squeeze it a little bit.
"Standing in the rain didn't do any good to you.", he said after you sneezed.
Yes, the rain. You had finally gotten off Taehyung when it started to rain. He was looking sad and his eyes seemed red but you were burning because of anger. You screamed at him he should leave but he continued to shake his head and grab your hand, but you stepped back. Screaming at him didn't do any good to your throat either. You picked your phone out of your bag to call Jimin so he could pick you up. He agreed immediately, sounding worried. Taehyung was still standing in front of you, trying to say something but you didn't want to hear anything anymore. So you started walking towards the place you had told Jimin to pick you up. You left Taehyung behind and didn't dare to look back once. Luckily Jimin didn't seem to notice your red eyes, he was rather worrying about you being completely wet. He told you that you would catch a cold, and as he said that his eyes were empty. As if he knew, you were being unfaithful in some kind of way.
Jimin was right. You had caught a cold, a very bad one. Irene and Amber were worried and you hadn't told them yet about what had happened. If you should even tell them was also not sure yet. They were your best friends...maybe you should? The chocolate Irene brought you gave you flashbacks. This felt exactly like the first days of your heartbreak, adding the cold you felt even more miserable.
Your phone was shut off for a week, you spent your days in your bed. Visitors coming and leaving. Each of them worrying more and more.
It was a week and a day already and also your last day before going back to work and uni when your bell rang. Short short long short. This can't be happening. With heavy feet you walked towards the door, opening it slowly. And indeed, Taehyung was standing in front of you with two Wodka bottles.
He seemed to ignore your miserable state and stepped in happily, putting his shoes off at the exact spot he always used to and headed to your living room. You followed him confused, wondering what this was about.
"What is this?", you mumbled leaning against the wall. He passed you to go to the kitchen and grabbed two glasses.
"Hello to you too.", he said while sitting down on the carpet and opening the first bottle.
"It's Sunday. 4pm. You plan on drinking right now?", you said.
"Yup. Why not? We used to drink on Sunday mornings.", he laughed while pouring the liquid into the glasses.
You could hit him for bringing up memories. Memories were your most vulnerable spot.
"I don't drink alcohol anymore."
"Since when?", he gave you an amused glance.
"Since I've beaten up your girlfriend."
You wondered how he would react. Would he jump up and leave or curse at you? But he surprised you again, as always. He kept on laughing showing off his beautiful rectangular smile.
"That's no reason to stop drinking. And now come over!", he patted at the spot opposite to him.
Even though you knew you shouldn't you obeyed him. You sat down looking at him questionably. He smiled and passed you your glass.
"Cheers!", he said smiling, making your glasses go cling.
You followed him drinking, not knowing exactly what was happening. Your stomach turned warm immediately and the sparkles you had buried seemed to escape.
The bottle was only half empty but you knew that you couldn't take any more. Taehyung seemed a bit tipsy too.
"Okay let's start then.", he giggled before laying down right next to you.
"What do you mean?"
"How did you meet Jimin?"
"Fuck you Taehyung.", you laughed and were about to stand up when he grabbed you by your shirt.
"I really want to know."
"Why?"
"Need to know the boy my girl gave his heart to."
Silence. His eyes opened widely too and the situation dropped from being all funny to Antarctica by a second.
"I'm not your girl, you idiot."
"I know. But somehow, you'll always be, won't you?", he was saying suddenly sounding very earnest.
"Get out before I punch you like I punched Barbie."
You were mad. What was he thinking?
"You never hit me. You didn't slap me ever. Barbie has done that so often already."
"Go."
"I'm always going! We're never talking it out, like we should. We're no kids anymore. Let's behave mature for once."
"You're drunk. I'll call you a cab.", you were about to stand up but he grabbed you again.
"I'm drunk and being honest. Why aren't you using benefit of me?"
You narrowed your eyebrows but suddenly caught his idea.
"How did you meet Barbie?"
He looked up at the ceiling, thinking before responding:"At a flower shop. It was our second month anniversary and I bought you the roses. Remember?"
You nodded.
"Barbie has picked them out. I was mad at you at that time and she seemed to sense that. She asked me why I was looking so tired and sad and I don't know why but I told her everything. How you had left me all by myself without any place to stay in the middle of the night. I hadn't told her the reason, but she kissed me suddenly and gave me her number. Saying that if I wanted to be happy time by time I should call her. So after each of our arguments I called her. She was being alright with not having a serious relationship but then she saw us at the cinema we've been in on our four months anniversary. She was sitting right next to you. And that's when she told me she wanted me to break up with you. I couldn't but somehow she managed to... set us apart I guess."
He looked up, right into your eyes. Your mouth was dropped open and your eyes widened. He was being extremely honest.
"When did you start loving her?"
"I don't know. I think I always need time until I realise that I love someone."
You nodded, looking at the ground playing with the carpet. Taehyung was looking at you, you felt his intense stare.
"Taehyung...", your voice cracked but you still continued, "I don't want to be friends with you."
"You're just saying that right now...", he was trying to say something but you interrupted him.
"No. You hurt me too much. I can't do this, please leave now."
"I don't think you understood what I just said?!", he seemed to become a bit angry and you flinched when he grabbed your wrist.
What did he say? You understood everything. He had left you for Barbie. Nothing more needed to be understood.
"Please, go.", you didn't look at him but at the ground.
"No!", his voice got louder and you sensed him becoming angrier and angrier.
Taehyung was easy to be understood. When he turned angry his eyes became darker, he clenched his teeth and - most obviously - his fingers started to shake.
When he was worried he always used to lean against a wall or anything, seemingly to get a bit of ballast off.
When he was sad he always turned quiet. And for Taehyung, that was extremely rarely the case. He seemed to try to hide and close his eyes. As if hiding would make everything better.
But right now his fingers were shaking and his eyes were dark.
"I'm calling a cab.", you shook your head before reaching to your phone. Taehyung was quiet the whole time you talked to the driver. He seemed friendly and told you he would be there in ten minutes.
You put down your phone and headed towards the kitchen, being in a room with Taehyung would be too much for you right now.
"Listen,", he stood up heading towards the kitchen, "I'm sorry."
"I know.", you whispered leaning against the counter.
"Promise me you'll think about what I told you today."
You laughed, making fun of him. What an idiot.
"What's wrong with you Taehyung? Do you want me to imagine how you met Barbie? Is that what you want?", you stepped closer, your hand itching already, ready for his cheek.
"Are you stupid? I'm not talking about that!", he was yelling already.
"What? You confuse me I don't want to think about anything of you ever again!"
He was taken aback by your sudden raise of voice. You were shocked too, that didn't sound like you at all. To overcome your silence you added:"I don't ever want to think, see, hear anything of you again. I want you to leave. Like you did last year. But now, I don't want you to come back."
"No you don't! We both know that! I told you I'm sorry but have you ever thought about the mistakes you've done in our relationship?"
Slap.