Payge looked me over. From the messed up hair to my mate's black sweater on me. She wrinkled her nose.
"On second thought, I change my mind. That's nasty as fuck."
Payge shook her head and wiggled her toes.
I just stood there, like a deer caught in headlights.
This was awkward.
I remember the days she didn't like me, well, the day I arrived to the castle she didn't, then it grew into an interest in me and now, it was safe to say we were friends.
Payge Vincent was my first friend.
I smiled widely at the psycho.
She froze.
"Holy shit, what the fuck has gotten into yo- ah!!!!"
I ran up to the bed and jumped on it landing on Payge and hugging the shit out of her.
"Get off !! Get off !! Get off!! I could still smell my brother on you!" Payge said through giggles and she even swatted me on the butt to get me off.
I held her for a minute longer remembering that she was pregnant and not squash the belly. I looked up to her silver eyes.
We were in the weirdest position right now. I was basically hugging her legs alone due to the way she was lying before and obviously Payge was taller than me. So I felt like a little toddler holding onto their mummy's legs.
I reached up and kissed her on her cheek then when she squealed and was quick to wipe off my kiss I got off of her and ran into the bathroom before she could kill me. Literally.
"Ewe!" She yelled at the door as I stripped out of the sweater preparing to get into the shower. "I hope you didn't kiss me with d!ck mouth!"
I blushed violently and was thankful she couldn't see me as I entered the shower.
The mention of Payne's part had butterflies in my stomach but we didn't do that.
"I can't remember if I did!" I yelled back through laughter. Time to mess with Payge.
"WHAT! EWE! That's stink. Nasty. Disgusting! My brother! That's my brother and you! You kissed me with d!ck mouth!"
I heard movement in the room an laughted even harder at the slamming of the door.
B.F.Fs
**********
"I sincerely apologize for what happened in my room, I wasn't myself, I thought I was a bird actually, that's why I flew on you" I spread my arms and flopped them for emphasis.
Payge just glared. "You kissed me with d!ck mouth!"
I laughed at her outburst and shook my head. "Nope, that didn't happen."
She rose her brows at me, "Seriously? Boring!"
I erupted in a fit of laughter and shook my head at her. "And look where being not boring got you huh"
Payge smiled and rubbed her belly.
My smile fell.
Its not that I wanted a baby now, it's just that I wanted to know exactly what was done to Payne and what was the possibility of us eventually having a family. What his father did to him was too cruel to be real, what if he'd just instilled the thought in his head to mess with Payne? How could he even do that? He wasn't a doctor and to get such damage done you'd have to know exactly what you were doing. We're werewolves! Only if the knife blade was made out of silver the cut would be permanent.
"Can you take me to the pack doctor?" I tried to ask casually as I got unto Payge's bed. Since shed left me bathing in my room I'd gotten dressed and found her back in hers.
"I don't think you'd know if you're pregnant so soon, I mean it was only last night you guys did it," she replied smirking at me.
I couldn't even blush if I wanted to, I was upset with the whole situation."No, not that, I'm healing slowly recently, I want to check it out."
Payge got serious and got lost in her mind for a bit, "he usually takes things like this by appointment, so his schedule would always have space for emergencies but I'll contact him and see how soon he'd be able to see you."
I nodded and said a quick thank you.
An hour later I'd left Payge's room after hearing her rant and rave about some TV show she'd began watching and her favorite character or something died.
I didn't particularly care about what she was saying but I used the space from Payne to think.
Walking toward his bedroom door I felt bubbles flutter around in my stomach.
I knocked once and the door opened after a beat.
Payne rose a brow at me.
"I was about to come find you, thought probably you got lost in your bedroom or something," his words dripped of sarcasm and I rolled my eyes and walked past him and entered I to the room. He'd dropped the curtains so the darkness enveloped the entire place
As soon as I heard the door close behind Payne and the sweet sound of the lock I turned and hugged Payne.
He smelt so good as usual and his broad muscled built felt good against me. He bowed his head and rested his chin on top of my head, his hands around my waist.
"What's wrong?" He asked softly and I shook my head nothing.
"I have a lot on my mind right now," I said into his chest.
"Tell me?" He asked softly and I shook my head again.
He let out a huff of air and moved his arms from around me and moved.
I was left standing by the door alone and I turned to see him start to pace the room. Running his hand through his head ferociously.
I braced myself for the explosion but it never came. I couldn't bring myself to be terrified either, I could feel the waves of frustration flowing off of him. Anxiety was there too and most of all worry.
"I may not know what to say all the time but that doesn't mean you can't talk to me, didn't I tell you this before?" He cursed under his breath and stopped the pacing.
He stood there and just starred at me, then I realized what he was doing.
"Don't you dare try to get into my head" I put up a mental barrier against his intrusion and I glared at him.
A look of disbelief covered his features. "You won't tell ne what's wrong so what else do you want me to do?"
"I don't know!"
"Well neither do I Alexis!"
I couldn't tell him, I couldn't tell him what was going on, if he knew he'd be even more angry and he'd say I was wasting my time. I needed to know the truth about this. I needed to know what really happened with his father, if he truly was castrated.
I felt something!
"Payne?" His head was bowed and he stared at the floor but as he looked up his eyes turned cyrstal clear to me. "Open up."
Before he could protest I slipped through a mental door into Payne's head I felt everything around me disappear and the only focus was on Payne's past as it revealed itself to me.
Images of a little boy with black hair and grey eyes flashed through my head. He lied on the ground in the middle of the forest shirtless and the pants he wore was old and torn up in parts.
His back held so much marks and blood streaked down from a few but he didn't seem to feel it. He just stayed there. Motionless. Not a sound escaped his lips.
The vision changed into later on into that day and the boy was still lying on the ground. A man stood above him.
The man had a bad scar running down the side of his face and he stared at the boy in pure hatred.
"Get up" a terrifying rumble of a voice said.
The boy got to his feet on wobbly legs but he got up.
"What are you doing boy?" An evil rumble of laughter followed his words but the boy didn't let his eyes falter.
"I've been seeing a lot of this new attitude of yours. You are coming of age to be a man but not for me boy. Never for me. All I see when I look at you is weakness."
With a deep hack he spit on the boy. His saliva getting onto his fore head. The boy wiped it off and the man's eyes followed the movement.
"I am not weak." The boy whispered in a soft voice but it seemed as a reminder to himself.
More of that disgusting laughter.
"You? Not weak?!" The man grabbed the boy's neck and lifted him off the ground so they'd be at a leveled height.
"Then tell me boy," He growled out tightening his hold on the boy, "If you're not weak. Why couldn't you save her?"
"WHY DIDN'T YOU SAVE HER PAYNE! WHY ?!!" He screamed in the boy's face and tears filled the boy's eyes but he didn't let them slip.
"You are weak. You could have saved her then but now, you use the strength and courage to protect your sister while she gets disciplined! You should have used all that strength to save her. Maybe that way, you'd be dead and she'd be alive. I'd rather it that way any day. She should have let you two die and come to me." His voice cracked as he finished and then finally the boy let his tears spill.
The boy seemed to have gone into shock or something by the lack of oxygen due to the man strangling him but was quickly brought back to the present when the man threw him on the ground.
"You are not a man. Your masculine appearance goes against what you truly are and we need to fix that."
The images warped again and showed me the little boy on a table and the man above him with a small knife in his hand. It was silver and as the man kept holding it you could see the burning in his flesh and his hand turned red but he ignored it.
The boy was passed out and as his father stood before him about to do the deed there was a moment of hesitation and the man began to speak to himself.
"My love would forgive me for this, he couldn't be man for her so he shouldn't be a man for anything else. Forgive me." He whispered.
The knife dug into the boy's flesh under his penis and the boy seemed to stir back to conciousness but after the first incision was made the man moved the knife away and dropped it, the boy had passed out once more.
"I can't do this," the man said walking away.
******
As if being pushed away from something Payne mentally removed me out of his head.
Everything sunk back to reality and once I was self aware I felt the tears that had marked my face.
Payne didn't look at me. He looked at the door behind me, his face blank of any emotion.
He didn't speak. I couldn't speak.
Silence enclosed us.
We stayed there for a minute. I'd first thought that maybe he was in my head but I felt nothing to inform me that he was in fact there.
I wanted to tell him what I saw, tell him that his father hadn't gone through with it and unless the small cut he'd made had done serious damage which I doubted he was fine. Nothing was wrong with him but staring at those silver,now transparent eyes, I knew he didn't need the truth. He needed assurance. He felt unsure about himself and me and he needed to know that despite what I saw nothing had changed but that wasn't true, everything changed, a door to our future just revealed itself.
"I love you." I whispered. Those silver eyes snapped to mine but before I could hear him say he didn't feel the same way or that 'he wanted to love me' I turned around and left the room.
_______________________
Sorry for the late update but as I said before school has me busy these days but I hope you enjoyed this chapter.
BTW just because I've been getting a little bored with people and the *damn Payne's old* stuff, its a werewolf book!
Haven't you read any other werewolf book where the guy is hundreds of years old?
They age slowly! Or are immortal. Understood?
And the whole hating on Payne because of what he did Alexis in the past, he was trying to make her hate him! And whatever he felt he didn't know how to express it.
So once that's clear, I don't care if some people don't forgive him and bla bla bla, most of my readers actually understand what's going on but if some people can't accept it that's their problem.
Xoxo
Random.