A/N When told listen to You'll Never Know by Lawson
Y/N'S POV
It's been a fucking week since I last talked to Camila. Now she's avoiding any and all contact with me. I don't know why but it hurt knowing that she was doing it intentionally. I know that I had hurt her but damn, she won't even meet my gaze. It was now the day of our first concert in San Fransisco. We spent almost the entire week here, the band and I did interviews, rehearsed and made videos and the girls rehearsed. The other girls still talk to me, though I'm sure at the moment Lauren wants to rip me apart limb by limb.
At the moment I was spending time with Normani listening to none other than Queen B on the bus while the band's and my stylist got the rest of the band ready for an interview we were about to have. Normani was twerking like there was no tomorrow and I couldn't help but laugh.
"Ayyee go Mani, throw dat ass in a circle," I laughed and clapped my hands. Normani rolled her eyes and laughed as she continued dancing around.
"Dance with me, Y/n!" She shouted pulling me to my feet. I stood up and rolled my eyes getting ready to dance when movement out the window caught my eye.
"What's that?" I asked as I walked closer to the window. I pushed open the curtain and peeked out. What I saw broke my already broken heart into a million more pieces.
Camila was outside with Austin "Fuckboy" Mahone and he was literally all over her giggling ass. She had her hands on his chest and he was whispering in her ear. I closed the curtain forcefully and stood up straighter clenching my jaw.
"Hey, what happened?" Normani spoke up from behind me.
"Camila likes me my ass," I scoffed, "She's outside letting herself be groped by Fuckboy Mahone."
"Really?! How the hell did he even get here? They broke up! He was such a douche. ," Normani argued. I rolled my eye in disgust.
"She sure doesn't seem to think so.''
Normani opened her mouth to speak but the door was soon opened to reveal Dan.
"Come on, Y/n! Interview time!"
I nodded and gave Normani a quick hug before running off the bus yelling, "Catch ya later, Manibear!"
I intentionally kept my gaze away from Camila and followed Dan over to my group and the guy doing our interview. Her name was Chelsea, ya know Chelsea Briggs. She is gorgeous if I am being completely honest.
"Hey there, Y/n!" She said, "You guys ready?"
We all nodded and Chelsea nodded to his camera guy. The guy started recording.
"Hey there! This is HollywireTv and I am here with the amazing talented, Code 4.
"Heyy," we all waved to the camera and flashed our best smiles.
"Can you guys introduce yourself, quickly to those who don't know you. Name and age!" Chelsea said.
"Of course! Hii! I'm Mikaela and I'm 19!'' Mikki said waving to the camera with a wide smile.
"Hey what's up, I'm Jared and I'm 16!" Jared winked to the camera.
"Hey, I'm Y/n and I'm 18," I flashed my most charming smile. It almost dropped instantly when I saw Camila and Austin approach the other girls who were watching the interview, hands intertwined. I looked away quickly and at the others as Alec introduced himself.
"Sup I'm Alec, and I'm 18," Alec grinned his boyish grin.
"Well, I have a few questions for you guys that I want you to answer completely honestly," Chelsea said with a smile.
"No problem!" We all shouted.
"Okay first, who is the messiest one in the group?"
We all began talking at once blaming each other, Chelsea laughed.
"One person please, Mikaela," Chelsea put the mic in front of Mikki and Mikki laughed.
"Well by far the messiest person is Jared. He's the youngest in the group so of course it's expected," Mikaela said.
"Okay next! Who is your guy's biggest inspiration?"
"We are very inspire by 5sos, Maroon 5, The 1975, and of course Fifth Harmony," Jared said and he sent a wink to the girls.
"You guys are touring with 5H, right? Who is your favorite girl?"
"Mine is Dinah! She and I flirt with each other shamelessly and she is such a badass," Jared said with a laugh.
"Mine is Lauren. We jam out to the 1975 and Lana together," Alec said with a grin.
"Ally, because shes the oldest in the group and understands my struggles," Mikki said.
"Plus her cookies give us life!" Jared added.
"Yeah her cookies are Bo$$. See what I did there?" I asked with a laugh. The others rolled their eyes but joined in.
"What about you, Y/n? Fav member?" Chelsea asked. I bit my lower lip nervously. I very well couldn't say Camila. She made it very clear how she felt about me. Plus she has her fuckboy boyfriend, so I said the next best thing.
"Normani! She's my twerking queen," I said and added a laugh for a good effect.
"Okay last question. What would your relationship status be on Facebook, at the moment?"
"Single and ready to mingle," Jared flashed his signature dimple smile and winked at the camera.
"In a relationship," Alec said.
"In a relationship," Mikki grinned happily. Chelsea brought the mic to me.
"Umm single," I said with a casual shrug.
"Okay! Well thanks guys! It was so nice talking to you guys! Good luck tonight!"
"Thank you!" we all said as the camera shut off.
*********Time Skip To Band Performance*********
The band and I stood at the side stage waiting as Mahogany Lox finished up her set. We were all dressed and ready to rock.
Jared was wearing his usual bro tank but this time it was dark red, he had on black jeans, black sneakers and a red SnapBack. Alec wore a black t-shirt, a red bandana around his wrist, ripped blue jeans and red sneakers. Mikki wore a black skirt, a red tank top with a black leather jacket over it. And I wore dark blue jeans, a grey t-shirt with a red design on it, red converses, and a grey beanie.
When Lox walked off the stage we walked on and to our respective instruments. The crowd was screaming loudly and I felt super excited yet super nervous.
"What's up, San Fransisco?! We are Code 4 and we will be doing a few songs for you until our lovely ladies of Fifth Harmony come out to rock your world!"
The crowd went crazy. The band and I all exchanged looks smiling before beginning our set. We did our covers of, Maroon 5 She will be Loved, 5sos She looks so Perfect, and Bruno Mars Lazy song. Then we did Here's to never Growing up.
"Alright guys this last song of the night is an original song written by our awesome guitarist, Y/n," Mikki said. (Play song)
We began playing our instruments softly.
(All)
Oo oo ooo
Oo oo ooo
(Alec)
You'll never touch my face
We'll never play these games
We'll never be the same.
(Y/n)
I think about that night
You never said goodbye
You only walked away.
(Alec and Mikki)
It's like my heart stopped beating when you walked away
And all that I believe in is going to waste
We played our instruments picking up speed and with a little more aggression as we all sang the chorus.
(All)
You'll never know that I loved,
You'll never know that I trusted you in every way
You'll never know that I miss,
You'll never know that I think about you everyday
The boys stopped playing for a second and Mikki and I played softly before we all started up again and I sang.
(Y/n)
I never called you up,
Because it hurt too much
Oh I regret that day.
(Jared and Y/n)
I never dared to ask
If you would take me back
(Alec and Mikki)
I'm scared of what you'll say
(Jared)
Because my heart stopped beating when you walked away
(Alec)
And all that I believe in is going to waste
The crowd began cheering and singing along with us when we sang the chorus.
(All)
You'll never know that I loved,
You'll never know that I trusted you in every way
You'll never know that I miss,
You'll never know that I think about you everyday
I pressed my lips against the mic as I sang my next part with passion.
(Y/n)
You'll never know these tears I've cried
That I'm sleeping on your side
And if you're thinking of me, I don't, I don't know
You'll never know I'm up all night
You're still the best thing in my life and if you ever come back
I'll never, I'll never know
More piano and guitar from Mikki and I. I slowly find myself glancing to the side stage to see Camila, along with the rest of the 5H girls. The other girls were dancing around to the song but Camila was looking at me intently. I wrote this song for her and I think she knows it. There was no use denying it anymore. I was miserable. I regret pushing her away. I regret not telling her the truth. Now she's moved on and happy with Fuckboy Mahone and all I could do was sit and watch.
(Alec)
Oo oo ooo
Oo oo ooo
When we sang the chorus part I looked back out at the crowd.
(All)
You'll never know that I loved,
You'll never know that I trusted you in every way
You'll never know that I miss,
You'll never know that I think about you everyday
I found myself looking back at Camila when I sang my last verse I met her eyes and sang with so much emotion.
(Y/n)
You'll never know these tears I've cried
That I'm sleeping on your side
And if you're thinking of me, I don't, I don't know
You'll never know I'm up all night
You're still the best thing in my life and if you ever come back
I'll never, I'll never know
When the song was over I looked away and back out at the cheering crowd.
"Thank you so much, San Fransisco! We love you guys! Now get prepared to meet our amazingly talented friend, Jacob Whitesides!" I shouted into the mic. There was more cheering and we ran off the stage just as Jacob ran on.
We stopped in front of Fifth Harmony and the girls all congratulated us.
"You guys rocked out there. I especially loved that last song. It was super sad yet super catchy," Dinah said as she pulled Jared into a hug.
"It was all, Y/n! She writes the best songs when she's sad," Jared said with a grin, "I kinda think you should be depressed more often, Y/n."
Mikki hit Jared in his arm. I knew he was just joking but still he didn't have to remind me that I'm so upset that my depression could come back. I love the kid to death but sometimes I wish he had an off switch.
"I'm going to the dressing room," was all I said. I turned around and walked away. I walked to our dressing room and closed the door behind me.
I took my beanie off and ran a shaky hand through my hair. Camila never even looked at me when we were backstage. She didn't even acknowledge my presence and that's how I knew I lost her. I heard the door open and slam shut.
"Listen, Mik, I'm fi,-" I turned around and stopped abruptly. It wasn't Mikaela standing there but Camila. She was in her performance outfit, skin tight white high waisted pants and a white long sleeved crop top. She looked beautiful yet exhausted and upset. It took everything I had in me not to wrap her in my arms and comfort her. But I didn't know why she was here and I didn't want to overstep any boundaries.
"That song was for me,wasn't it? And please don't lie to me again. I just need to know the truth please," she pleaded and looked at me with desperate eyes. I felt my heart break at the sight of how much pain she seemed to be in, my throat was dry and I couldn't find the correct words to say so all I did was nod.
What she did next surprise me. She ran over to me, jumped up, and threw her arms around my neck. She buried her face into the crook of my neck and let out a quiet sob. I instantly wrapped my arms around her waist holding her body close to mine. I didn't say anything I just breathed in deeply and inhaled her vanilla perfume.
"I don't care if you don't want to tell me anything. You don't have to explain yourself to me. I hated not talking to you. I overreacted. I was a bitch. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," Camila said and ended with another sob. I tightened my arms around her waist and kissed the side of her head.
"It was my fault. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have pushed you away. It's just I'm not used to this. Having people actually care and want to understand. I don't want to get hurt and I definitely don't want to hurt you. It's not you. God trust me, Camila, it's not you. It's me. I'm so sorry," I said.
"Looks like we're b0th assholes with this one, huh?" Camila raised her head and looked me in the eyes a small smile on her lips.
"Looks like it."
"Can we never fight again?"
"I think I'd very much like that," I nodded my head once with a smile. Camila grinned and hugged me tightly again.
"I don't mind just being your friend. Hell I'd settle with being just that one girl you casually talk to. I just don't want to ignore you anymore," Camila said as she slowly let go of me. I reluctantly let her go and se stood up. I looked down at her and forced a smile.
"I don't want to ignore you anymore either, Camila. I'd be glad to be your friend," I'd wanna be something more but not you Mahone so I'll settle friend I don't mind.
"Cami."
"What?" I asked slightly confused.
"Don't call me Camila. I like it when you call me, Cami."
"Okay, Cami," I grinned.
So far this night ended up going pretty well. I got Camila back even if it's just as friends. I got her back and I'm not gonna let her go again. I'll get her to stay for as long as I can. At least until she finds out about my condition and my past. Then she'll leave and I won't be able to stop her, because she'll think I'm a freak. So I'm gonna make the best of this because for now she's all that matters.