12thJan, 2016
Dear diary,
*sob...sob...sob...*
Oh! I am extremely sorry to wet you. Believe me, I hadn't cried the whole day, not even when it happened. But now, I don't know what got into me. The moment I took you in my hand, the droplets of water started to roll. You just give me that feeling of safety, like I can tell anything to you. And today, I am going to need you desperately. Because today, for the first time, I will tell you something that no one else knows.
You remember what I told you yesterday? That today, it was the day of results. Yes, the results of our final exam. I was super excited when I reached the school today. And why shouldn't I be. I was the topper of my class.
I hurried to the class this morning and joined my friends. As every term, this time also they had started playing this guessing game. And as every term, they were all betting on me to top the class again. The requests for the party after the school had already started to pour in.
That's when the bell rang; and the teacher immediately entered the class. Every one of us had their eyes fixed on the pile of reports that she carried with her. She took her seat and then the ceremony began. Names after names were called; and their respective report cards were handed to them.
It was astonishing to watch the reactions from my friends. When one of my friend was happy that he at least passed the exam; the other was sad that she couldn't score above 90%. The scenes were just making me more and more excited.
After what seemed like eternity, finally my name was called. I tip-toed to the teacher's table I greedily extended my hand to accept the report. Before taking that report in my hand, I stole a glance at the teacher; and for some unknown reason, she was shaking her head. It looked as if she wasn't satisfied with my performance.
Honestly, this made me a little nervous. My hands just trembled a little before opening it. I started to think, 'how much worse could I have performed?'
And, as I opened it, I got my answer.
I had failed.
Yes, my dear diary, as much as it shocks you; it is true. I have failed in this year's examination. When I read that in morning, I kept staring at it without even blinking. My legs started to feel wobbly. But still, I gathered my strength and ran to my teacher. I screamed at her, telling that this can't be true, telling her that there was some mistake, telling her that she hadn't checked the paper correctly.
But the teacher didn't say a single word. Maybe she must have known how I was feeling at that time, that all the things I spoke were not aimed at her at all, that all this was just a desperate effort to console myself that it was all a dream. But I knew it wasn't. Eventually, I got back to my own seat.
Slowly all the friends got to know what had happened. I don't know now though, if I should even call them 'friends'. Because, they were the one's who made it even tough for me. I can't believe, these friends with whom I had celebrated every result were today mocking me, making fun of me. When I needed their support, they were busy cutting the rungs from the ladder. I hate them, all of them.
Yet, even after all that happened throughout the day, I didn't shed a single tear. But now, when I saw you, I couldn't hold myself any longer. Because you are the one, who doesn't judge me from my scores, you are the one who hears everything I have to say, because you are my one true friend.
At last, to finish our today's talk my diary, I ask you to wish me luck. I need it more than anything at this moment. Because, the misery hasn't subsided, I would say, it hasn't started yet. The toughest task of this day lies ahead of me.
To tell my parents, that I have failed.
Thank you,
My sweet little diary.
***
Author - cchinu
(12/01)