Sitting in the restaurant was torture. Everyone around me was laughing and having a great time and I was in misery. I just wanted to go home, take a shower, and cry. I wouldn't allow myself to cry at the funeral in front of everyone.
Mom was sitting on my right looking at her menu and Steve was sitting across from her reading his menu as well. Logan was sitting across from me coloring with Molly who was wedged in between Steve and him. Which was actually kinda cute.
"You know what you're gonna eat?" mom said.
"Yeah."
I didn't have to look at the menu to figure out what I was gonna eat. Carrie and I use to come here all the time and we would always order the same thing. My mind kept thinking about Carrie and all the fun we use to have when she was still alive. Every time I pictured her face I could feel that lump coming back and my eyes would blur. I needed a distraction to stop thinking about her. I couldn't think about her it hurt to much, so I watched Logan play tic-tac-toe with Molly and silently laughed to myself when he lost to his six year old sister.
The waitress finally came over and took our orders. Instead of getting a pepperoni pizza and coke I decided to get a bacon cheeseburger and chocolate milkshake. Carrie's favorite. The waitress took everybody else's order and darted away towards the kitchen.
"So, Hayley," Steve said.
I looked up at him and saw that his face looked very serious like he was about to say that I was going to be shipped off to military school. Once that thought popped into my head, I felt scared.
"I hope you don't mind moving into a new home."
I shook my head. Maybe getting away from my old home would help me get past this and be able to move on. Carrie and I had to many memories there. My moms engagement could actually be a positive thing and a new start for me.
"Okay, good then."
"So when's the wedding?" I asked.
"Not for another few months,'' my mom clarified. She looked like she wanted to say something else but wasn't sure if she should, she looked over at Steve and he just nodded, telling her to continue.
"What's going on?'' My heart was beating fast and my face was burning up. Horrible thoughts were entering my mind and I couldn't get rid of them. Oh, my God I'm gonna have a panic attack in the middle of the restaurant.
"I was wondering if you would help me...plan the wedding!"
Help plan the wedding? Mom wanted me to help her plan her wedding. Four pair of eyes were staring at me, waiting for me to answer. I didn't know what to say. I'm happy that my mom decided to pick me to help her when she could have asked one of her other friends. I looked at Logan for help. Which was no use because all he did was give me a small smile that said "it's your decision"
"Sure."
My mom beamed and grabbed me into a hug. Steve looked relived that I had said sure. I'm guessing that if I didn't say yes, then mom would make Steve help her plan the wedding. Which I could tell was something he really didn't want to do. Neither did I but I couldn't say no for two reasons. One: I couldn't say no to my mom. Two: maybe it would help me to stop thinking about Carrie.
When our food came we all ate quietly. Hardly any words were spoken. The only person that did speak was Molly and all she talked about was her ballet class or who her favorite Disney princess was. I listened but wasn't really paying attention to what she was saying. Logan tried talking to me but he had to say my name like three times before he could get my attention. When he did, he told me a story about how he was trying to impress some girl and ended up falling into a trash can. Of course this happened in junior high.
I hate to admit that his story was funny and I did smile but from the look on his face, I could tell he was trying to make me laugh. I was almost done eating when I made the mistake of looking across the restaurant. My stomach began to turn and I felt like I was going to throw up the burger I ate.
Why did he have to be here? Why now? Now I really felt like crying and this time I couldn't hold in. I shot up from my seat and took off running towards the back of the restaurant where the bathroom was located. I locked the door and pressed my back against it and began to cry. My legs felt weak so I slid down the door to sit on the floor.
I couldn't believe he was here. Now that I thought about it, I realized he didn't show up at the funeral. I don't understand why he didn't show up. He knew Carrie and he was her neighbor. His parents went to the ceremony. The worst part of this situation was he was here with her.
I crawled over to the toilet and threw up my hamburger and milkshake and everything else I had eaten earlier today, which wasn't much. Slowly I got up from the floor and looked at myself in the mirror, thinking I would find someone else staring back at me. But I was still the same girl. Dark brown hair that almost looked black. Brown eyes that looked hallow and empty. Cheeks that were pink from all the crying I did. My make up, of course, was smeared. I tried to fix it with some toilet paper and managed to make myself look presentable in public.
Alright. Now it was time for me to face him. I opened the door and found Logan standing in front of me with his fist in a ball and in the air. He brought his hand down to his side and stared me. He seemed to be worried about me.
"I'm okay."
Logan didn't buy it. Instead he hugged me. I wanted to pull away but I felt comfortable.
"What was that all about?" he mumbled into my hair.
I took in a deep breath. Should I tell him? I mean I hardly knew him but I felt like I could trust him.
"The blond guy that walked in is Luke. He's my ex." It was hard for me to say this because I didn't really get over our break up and what had happened between us. "The girl he was with, her name is Kristy. That's his new girlfriend," I said pulling away from him.
Logan looked at me with sympathy in his eyes. I looked away from him and stared at the ground. I wanted to turn around and lock myself in that bathroom and not come out until Luke left. Logan knew I had no intentions of going back out there. He took my hand and began to lead me back to our table, when we ran into someone.
My stomach started turning again when I realized we had run into Luke. I have the worst luck. He looked at me the same way he use to when we were dating but there was also something in his eyes that I couldn't interpret. Guilt maybe?
"Hi, Hayley," he said looking at me with warmth in his eyes.
"Hi."
Luke shifted his gaze over to Logan and glared at him. Logan didn't seem bothered by it. All he did was glare back at him.
"Who's this?" Luke asked without looking at me.
"This is Logan. He's my-" Wait, what was I suppose to say. I couldn't say he was my friend I barely knew him.
"Soon to be step brother," Logan interjected.
Luke continued to glare at Logan. Still Logan wasn't bothered by it. Usually people felt intimidated by Luke. After all he was better looking than most of they guys at our school and he knew it to. He was tall and built and if he was ever in a fight he would win within minutes. Even teachers were sometimes intimidated by him. Logan however was unaffected by him.
"Are you going to be coming back to school?" This time Luke turned his head to look at me.
"I'll be back on Wednesday."
Luke gave me a tiny smile. "Good." He began to walk away towards the bathroom. That was it? He didn't even give me a chance to ask him any questions. I pushed Logan away causing him to hit his back on the wall and I chased after Luke.I shouted hey at him and he ignored me. Before he was able to open the bathroom door I grabbed his wrist and turned him around so he could face me.
"Why weren't you at the funeral?"
"What?"
"Why didn't you show up? Carrie was your friend to."
Luke frowned. "I couldn't make it."
"You couldn't make it? Or do you mean you didn't want to make it?" I was not gonna let this ago. I needed to know why he didn't show up. I wanted answers. I hated being in the dark and not knowing what was going on around me.
"It's complicated. You wouldn't understand Hayley," he said pulling his wrist out of my grasp. He started to walk towards the bathroom again.
"Luke!"
He slammed the bathroom door. Not bothering to look at me.
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I just finished my second chapter so now you know a little bit about Luke and his new girlfriend. Thanks to everyone who reads this and I'm working on the next chapter. Hope you enjoyed it!