CLANG! BOOM! BOOM! CLANG! BOOM! DUMTSS!
"What the hell are you trying to do Harry?," I ask my little brother out of frustration.
"I am trying to learn here. If you will, let me get to the major part."
"Argh!" I grunt.
"Oh. Come on Josh. Can't you support your little brother a bit?"
"You got to go learn it somewhere from a professional. Just owning a drum set doesn't make you an artist," I try to explain my brother in the midst of the noise he was making. Yes. Noise. Not music.
"Alright! I will go. But I hate tutors. The way they boast about everything they know which we absolutely don't know," Says Harry.
I roll my eyes and walk towards the door to close it behind my back and silently go to my room to read my book.
"Will Grayson Will Grayson by John Green and David Levithan."
I look at the cover. Hardbound.
I flip through the pages. Clean, smooth and flawless.
I smell it. Utterly authentic.
Usually, when I do this, my brother gives me a nonplussed look. But he wouldn't understand what it feels like to hold a beauty like in your hands and feel every bit of it.
It is like you are about to unravel a new mystery, a new world, full of mysteries.
I love going to the library, enjoying the free books and silently reading, smiling with the characters and living with them.
My brother though, is a jock. He is just one year younger to me. Oops. I forgot to tell you. I am a 23 year old who works at a call center.
Our parents live in Canada. And we are left here under our aunt's supervision. Basically we live in our own house and our aunt stays next in the neighborhood, which makes things simple and easy for my brother. He can actually get out of the house anytime he wants.
I am an indoor person, as you know, I would prefer reading in my bed comfortably over a rave party. I don't even get the hype about it.
I had just started reading when I hear a voice -
"Hey!" Zainad says standing at the threshold of my bedroom door.
Zainad had been my best friend since I don't know for how long. But she had been behaving very awkwardly in the past few days.
We have not been in touch much after we left college and started working at different places. We stopped talking like before which was "for hours". We rarely saw each other. And as my stupid low esteemed self-conscience used to tell me "She probably has new friends now." But here she is.
"Hi." I reply back still looking at my book. Sometimes I act like a jerk with no manners. Well, jerks are jerks because they have no manners right? Why am I talking to myself?
STOP TALKING TO YOURSELF. My brain yells at me.
"Can we talk?" She asks politely.
"Oh yeah. Just a moment." I say and I have no idea why we are acting so formal after all. I make space for her to sit and close my book to carefully place it on my table.
"Umm. I just wanted to ask if you would...umm..like to go out with me tonight." She says hesitantly, sitting beside me
"Yeah sure!! Why not? It's been a while already." I say immediately. I can cancel out on parties but not a good 'get-back-together-with-your-bestie' time.
"I mean it is not as what you think it is gonna be." She says looking at her feet.
"Huh? I don't really get it. I mean yeah I love some drama but don't you think that you have been acting a little weird lately?" I blurt out.
"Yes. It is about that." She says.
"Okay then. See you at 8 tonight." I say after a moment.
"Okay. Bye." She smiles and leaves the room.
Then I hear Harry shouting -
"Sooooo???? Did you tell him?????"
Maybe she shushed him because I couldn't hear further.
I get back to my bed with my book and continue reading.
Will and Tiny cooper, the characters are so funny. They remind me of me and Zainad, though Zainad is a girl. We used to share the same bond. No matter how much she hated to be with a nerd like me, she never left.
Reminding myself of that, I smile.
And Tiny is gay in the book, not really a nerd.
I wonder how it feels like to be a gay. I mean one must feel so unique and out of the box. Just like how Tiny feels.
Will, you can pick your friends. And you can pick your nose. But you cannot pick your friend's nose.
I laughed at this line so hard. Reading a book is a free ticket to the movies and a free ticket around the world. Don't you think so?
••
Later that night
Okay! I have to tell you this. If I get a chance to write a book about The confessions of a book worm, I would totally do it. Because I really need to talk to someone when I am enjoying a book or when I have totally enjoyed a book and I want to recommend others to read it. But to explain the situation it is like this.
A. I do not have many friends.
B. I rarely talk to the ones I have.
C. When I rarely talk, I rarely rarely talk to them about books because of the fear that I might disinterest them.
D. Me, being a nerd really does disinterest them.
So this is my life. Zainad, on the other hand is someone who encourages me to read, even though she doesn't do it personally. She is kind of a movie person.
Today, I am going to meet my best friend officially after a long time. It seems long enough to me.
I don't try to look the best of me or anything. I just put on my casual wear and shoes and get out of the house with a book in my hand, as always. You cannot tell when you can get bored or when you might get some time alone, so carry a book always. Always!
I click on 7 on the speed dial as she used to say that it is her lucky number.
She answers just after the 2nd ring.
"Hello." She says in her girliest voice possible.
'Why? Why are you acting so weird?' Goes my mind.
"Yeah. Hey. Where are you? I just started from my place. Meet you in 10?"
"Sure. I am on the way too." She says in the same girly voice again.
'Cut the crap out already Zainad. Be my old best friend back again. I hate it, being this formal.' My mind goes helluva dramatic. I cannot tell these things out loud. I could have. Only if she had been acting less weird.
I disconnect the call and get in my car (which is a black volvo). I start the engine and turn on the music to head to the destination.
While I do that, I just wonder for one nanosecond - Is she going to propose?
'Nevermind. It is not that at all moron. You have been reading a lot of John green lately. This is real life.'
••••
Zainad's pov
I have been getting ready since I got back home from Joshua's place. And I have not even started on my dressing up.
As soon as I open my wardrobe and pick out the fiery red skater dress I bought online for this very day, I get a call from him.
I smile a little and pick it up.
"Ready?" He says in his own sweet cheerful voice.
"Five minutes."
"I will be there in 6 then?"
"Sure." And I giggle.
I love the way he makes me smile. Every single moment of the day. I really want this day to be special. As special as it could be.
The call goes off and I undress myself. The phone starts ringing again.
This time it is my best friend.
"Hello." I say.
"Yeah. Hey Zainad..."
I hang up by just saying that I will be there as soon as possible.
I stand there naked thinking of how to tell Joshua about it. Or how he would take it. I let the thoughts fly away and dress up like I am the princess and my prince is about to arrive.
I let my hair fall down on my back in curls.
I wear my perfume and I put on my heels and I am ready to go.
I hear a car honking at the doorway and I walk as swiftly as possible. I get in the car with my Dad watching me from the window. (He couldn't care less about this stranger at place, holding his daughter's hand.)
I sit down in the passenger seat on his left and look at him sitting behind the wheel, looking all hot, cool, handsome and cute at the same time. I don't really know if one person could be all of it at the same time. But he is. And it is magical to look into his eyes.
"Hi." Joshua says, holding my right hand in his left.
"Hi." I say and hold his hand tighter, making me feel as secure as possible.
••
It is this vintage restaurant where she had called me to come. I stand there taking in the beauty of the place, looking at the big board shining brightly Senpòsta - Family restaurant and Bar. The whole place is beautifully decorated with pretty fairy lights and I look at the giant laughing Buddha looking back at me, for welcoming the customers at the door.
And just as I am about to enter, a car pulls over. I turn around to look at Zainad getting out of that car, not just a car, but a Porsche. I gape in wonder and fail to notice the wide opened arms of Zainad standing in front of me. She probably follows my eyes because she says -
"Oh. That is..."
"A Porsche." I finish the sentence for her. Or I think that is what I did.
She looks puzzled. But she continues to say -
"Not the car Josh. Umm. I am talking about the guy in the car. It is Joshua Kemberly."
"Oh." I try to comprehend the words but when I do finally - "What?"
"Yeah."
"I thought we were going to have a one on one conversation here today." I say noticing her all of a sudden and realizing how beautiful she looks in that red dress.
"I am sorry. I just wanted to talk about something. I..."
"Hello."
A voice makes me jump. I turn my face to see this very young and handsome and charming and no words in my vocabulary would suffice to explain his charisma.
"Hi." I reply in a whisper and hold out my hand for the usual handshake.
But the usual hand shake doesn't feel like the usual. His mere touch sends a spark through my nerves. And I take my hand away, trying to act as non-creepy as possible.
I look at his face once again. And as I do that, I realize that he is looking straight into my eyes with a very attractive crooked smile.
"Shall we go in?" Says Zainad interrupting our eye contact. Not exactly like that but her comment broke the eye contact.
"Yeah sure." We say in unison. 'We' means me and the other Joshua.
We seat ourselves in plush chairs of the reserved table. He sits just in front of me beside Zainad. I keep my bag on the chair next to me because I feel uneasy when I am made to sit alone on the other side of the table.
"So?" The other Joshua speaks up, looking at me again.
"Uh..." I go blank and I find words in my vocabulary to answer. But nope. Just blank. Even after years of reading, nope. Just blank.
"This is Joshua. My boyfriend." Zainad says looking at me, gesturing towards the other Joshua.
I don't know why but I get a sinking feeling in my gut. What on earth is happening to me? I wonder.
"Are you okay?" Zainad asks.
"Yeah. I am fine. Hey Josh." I say without looking at him but looking at his bow tie.
"Hey." He replies. I wonder how he is so attractive. Even his voice is like full of adjectives used for masculine community.
"So, I just wanted you both to get to know each other very well. As you both, as a matter of fact, mean a lot to me." Zainad goes again.
"Okay. You have never spoken to me about him before." I remind Zainad.
"Yeah. Well, I am sorry Josh. I was just scared that you might feel a bit left out or even possessive after years of our friendship. I was scared about how you will react."
"How am I reacting?" I ask sheepishly.
"Pretty much natural." He speaks up this time. "I would love to get to know you." He continues.
"Me too." I reply with a genuine smile.
••
A few days later
I wake up to get to work. I usually take the train. I get ready and reach the station. I board the train and sit down at one vacant seat near the door and start reading my book.
I am at the part where the gay Will Grayson finds out that his friend Maura had pranked on him and there is no Isaac for real.
As I read that part about how Grayson feels, a tear escapes my eye and I start to feel terrible.
I look up to see that a man is staring at me as if I am a weirdo. But hey you are the weird one. You have no clear idea about how one feels when he or she loses someone he or she loved the most. I think to myself and I wipe the tear from the corner of my eye and continue reading.
"Hey. Are you okay?"
I turn to the source of the voice and I see the other Joshua sitting beside me.
"Oh my god. What are you doing here?" I say trying to contain the excitement in my gut. Why I am excited? I think to myself.
"Are you the only one who boards the train to get to work?" He jokes.
I chuckle and I ask -
"Where do you work? I totally forgot to ask you last time."
Last time. Yes. When you sent chills through my body and I had to google a thousand tests online to check if I am gay.
"Oh. I am a professor at Arts College."
"Wow. That is amazing." I reply trying not to look into his eyes, as it is highly uncomfortable and makes me blush for some reason.
The online tests did not help. The tests said that I am gay. An absolute, pure as a sanitizer, GAY. Not that I never thought about it before. I mean I have never had a girlfriend before but I thought it was because of the 'nerd' factor.
"So what are you reading?" He asks.
"Oh. I am reading this book of John Green." I place the bookmark carefully at the part where I am and pass the book to the other Joshua.
Will grayson, Will grayson. Joshua and Joshua. Is this something of a sign?
"Wow. Tell me about it when you finish it." He hands me back my hardcover and his hands brush mine.
"I got to go." He says and stands up to vacate the seat for a little girl.
"Bye." I say.
"Bye." He says and I am sure I saw a blush on his face.
I smile to myself and think -
Maybe bye will be our okay.
Okay?
Okay.
Bye?
Bye.
Not romantic Josh. I tell myself.
John Green has driven me crazy really.
••
Later....
It was late at night. I was waiting for my train to arrive, with a book in my hand which I was reading.
The place was isolated except a young man who was sitting at the far end of the same platform with his nose buried in a book.
I wondered what he was reading. He looked pretty much hooked into it.
The train arrived. And I boarded. The man boarded too.
I took a seat and I dozed off.
The train stopped. I woke up and found my hardcover missing and a paperback of the same book left behind.
It was the same book which the young man was reading.
'Will Grayson Will Grayson' by 'John Green' and 'David Levithan'.
The first page had his signature - Joshua.
He befriended me to steal my hardcover.
••
A/N:
This is a story which I was writing in my other account and I did not have time to write it further. So, I deleted it.
It is a story dedicated to all the bookworms out there.
Thank you for reading. Please vote and comment if you like it.
Xx
pythagoraswasadouche (11/01)
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