May 26, 2015
Austin, Texas
The road trip is long and boring as all get out. I think I have lost all feeling in my legs and butt after only stopping to get gas and a quick bite to eat. Ryan is following me in his Chevy pick-up truck. I have to say I miss being around him, although he is right behind me.
You've still got it bad, I giggle to myself. I do. I really do.
When we reach Austin, Texas, everything looks the same.
People wave now when they see me. My dad leaving, changed the way everyone saw me. Over half of them even apologized to me, saying how sorry they were and had no idea he treated me as badly as he did.
I guess they realized who the real issue was around here and have started to slowly accept me again. I still have problems with some people, but, for the most part now everyone is nice.
*
Pulling into my driveway, I can't help but smile from ear to ear as I see the farmhouse come into view.
Home. It's good to be back.
I see, Dustin, my farmhand, sitting on the front porch swing drinking a beer looking as relaxed as can be. He must be taking a break from the Texas heat.
When the sound of my truck reaches his ears, he gets up and comes down the porch steps as I get out of the vehicle.
"Alaina! It's good to see you. How did you do?" He asks with a bright smile.
He is 22, dark shaggy brown hair, about 6'2", brown eyes, he is built like a tank and has to weigh about two hundred and fifty pounds with all that muscle. But he still doesn't compare to Ryan.
"First place baby!" I say singing the words.
I hear Ryan behind me clearing out his throat. Dustin gives me a curious look after glancing at him.
"Oh, sorry. Dustin, this is my boyfriend, Ryan. Ryan this is Dustin, my friend and farmhand." They both shake hands.
Ryan is looking at Dustin like he is his next meal. That would be a fight to pay for. Ryan probably weighs the same but is a few inches taller. Both men are built like a brick house.
"Nice to meet you." Ryan says somewhat coldly.
"You too." Dustin murmurs back giving me a curious look. His eye's asking what the hell is going on.
"Okay, Dustin will you take care of Rebel and the trailer for me? I need hot bath and some food." I state walking away, not waiting for his answer. I hear him chuckle.
"Glad to see you haven't changed while you were gone, Alaina!" He shouts.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever you say, Doodie!" I yell back and snicker.
He hates that nickname. I gave it to him when we were mucking out the stalls and he fell in the wheel barrel full of horse poop because he wasn't paying attention. I cracked up and started calling him Doodie. He ended up breaking that wheel barrel after throwing it. Acting like it was its fault for sitting there. He had horse shit in places you would have never imagined too. He gets so mad because I will never let him live it down.
"Doodie?" Ryan asks raising his eyebrows as he walks beside me.
"Don't you dare tell him, A!" Dustin yells embarrassed. I'm positive his face is red.
"I will tell you later." I say to Ryan quietly who is shaking his head smiling as we walk into the house.
[*]
"He lives here with you?" Ryan asks as we walk into the master bedroom. I set down my suitcase on the bed and unzip it.
"Yeah. Sometimes his girlfriend comes and stays with him. She is finishing college so she can't be here a lot. Dustin is a good guy, Ryan. He has been a real life saver for me." I state unpacking my clothes and sticking them in the dresser.
"Where did you find him?" He asks taking his boots off sitting on the bed.
"At the bar. I bartend when I'm not traveling. Three guys were beating the shit out of him for no reason and I stopped them and brought him home. I cleaned up his battle scars, let him stay for the night, and the next day I made him breakfast and he told me he wasn't from around here and was just looking for work. Well, I needed help so I offered him a job. He has been here ever since. He moved here to be closer to his girlfriend." I say truthfully.
"Well I'm just glad he has a girlfriend." Ryan mumbles, letting out an irritated sigh.
"Yep. He has been with her for five years." Ryan looks at me surprised.
"Wow."
"Mhm. He is a good guy Ryan. Trust me. He is one hell of a worker."
"Well are you going to keep him since I'm here now?" Ryan asks.
"Of course I am. Ryan, don't be so jealous." I scold.
"I am not jealous!" He grumbles grouchily.
"I kissed him." I lie hiding my smile.
"You what?!" He shouts and I start laughing.
"Ha! Gotcha! Told ya, you were jealous!" I state wiping my tears from laughing so hard.
"You know liars get spanked right?" He says smoothly.
Uh-oh! My laughing stops instantly and my face turns bright red.
"You wouldn't?" I say backing up getting ready to bolt out the bedroom door.
"You don't remember me very well do you?" He states getting up off of the bed. Oh I remember him quite well to be honest. I've never had such a sore butt in my entire life until I dated him.
I turn on my heels and bolt for the door. I scream when Ryan quickly grabs my waist and throws me over his shoulder. He shuts and locks the bedroom door.
"Ryan!" I shriek smacking him on his butt. "Put me down!" He swats my behind hard causing me to yelp.
"I have to say I missed this." He says rubbing his hand over my butt, caressing each cheek through my jeans. I wiggle trying to get off his shoulder. He smacks me again.
"Ow!" I yell and he throws me down on the bed. His eyes are filled with love and lust as he looks at down at me.
"Now, I do think I need to show you who you belong too." He grins and moves over top of me, kissing me like his life depends on it.
"I think I'd like that." I say breaking our kiss. He smiles before kissing me again, showing me exactly who I belong to.
[*]
A few hours later, Ryan and I are showered and our bellies are full.
We make our way outside and head to the barn. Flash whinnies loudly when he see's me and I rush over to pet him. Ryan walks over to a large dapple grey quarter horse.
"Is this Levi? You kept him?" He says petting the horse's nose looking at me in awe.
"Yes, it's Levi. He was too beautiful to get rid of and I know you had high hopes for him. I trained him after you left. He is a good horse, very mellow and gentle. He is fast too, not as fast as Flash, but it's close. He is, however, just as smart." I state as I gather up the saddle and bridle my brother got me.
"Thank you." He says quietly.
"You're welcome. I couldn't have gotten rid of him even if I wanted to. He is your horse after all." I say looking at him.
I can't read the emotion in his face so I walk over to him and hug him tightly from behind before releasing him.
"Come on, saddle him up. I've got something I want to show you." I order and start to saddle up Flash.
"That's how I knew it was you." Ryan says and I look at him confused.
"What do you mean?" I ask.
"The saddle. The moment I saw that saddle beside that buckskin horse's stall, I knew you were there. I waited for you all morning, and I watched you ride in that ring around those barrels. I fell in love with you all over again." He finishes and looks at me. My face flushes and I smile at him before leading Flash out of the barn.
I quickly pluck some red roses from my mother's flower bed and stick them in the saddle bags. I am grateful Dustin has taken care of them so well.
Jumping on Flash, Ryan is just coming out of the barn.
"Race ya to the tree's." I squeal and Flash starts galloping towards the tree line. I can hear Ryan laughing behind me as we run.
I beat him of course.
We walk through the woods quietly, admiring the peacefulness of everything.
When we finally get to Kevin's meadow, I climb off of Flash and turn to Ryan. He looks tense as he gets off of his horse.
He is looking directly at the two granite headstones standing beneath the old oak tree, one smaller than the other. Slowly, he makes his way over to the stones and gets to his knees in front of them. I grab the roses from my saddle bag and follow him.
I sit beside him and place a few roses in front of each stone. We say nothing and he looks at the smaller of the stones.
Paisley Renea Adams
Born November 30, 2012
Died December 5, 2012
A tiny flower, lent, not given.
To bud on earth, and bloom in heaven.
-Mommy and Daddy love you-
I silently cry and the tears fall freely down my cheeks.
I don't know how long we sit there hours, seconds, minutes, until I finally speak, breaking the silence.
"That last day of the rodeo, when, well you know, I dreamt I was here, and so was Kevin." I tell Ryan and he turns his head to look at me. His cheeks are wet from his tears.
"He told me about her, about Paisley. He said that she was beautiful and she looked like me, but had your dark blond hair and gray eyes. He told me to tell you she loves you and that he approves of you. He said you always think about it." I tell him and start to sob.
"I'm so sorry, Ryan. For everything. For what I said that day you left, for not telling you about her. I wish I could go back and change it. I'd do anything, anything, to take it all back. I never hated you, I was just so mad at you." I cry and he quickly takes me into his arms.
"Shhh... Don't cry baby. Please don't cry anymore. We both said some terrible things that we didn't mean. It wasn't your fault, baby. It wasn't your fault." He whispers. He gently plants a kiss on my forehead.
We sit there silently in each others arms, no words are said.
He leans back against the big oak tree and pulls me between his legs so my head is resting on his chest.
We both slowly drift off into a peaceful sleep and I dream of our daughter.