Hallie
It didn't take that much convincing on Luke's behalf -at all, really- for Hallie to conclude that she was in love with him (again). She was at constant debate if he ever thought about feeling the same way, too. Though, Hallie didn't really care. It felt as if every instant thought of Luke instigated an efflorescence of every emotion imaginable yet nothing at all, otherwise what Hallie had imagined her version of love to feel like (she had never really loved anyone before, except Jon Bon Jovi). She mentally punched herself in the stomach as if it were possible to rid of the butterflies (no, more like pterodactyls) in her stomach. Jesus.
It was Saturday night and Hallie was sat on her bedroom floor, somewhat attempting to sketch out a reasonable backdrop for Miss Greere. She'd been attempting to do so for three hours. But all Hallie could manage herself to think about was Luke. Her pencil didn't want to cooperate with her creative flow at all, either.
Hallie stared at the blank sheet from her sketchbook -that lay amongst a sea of coloured pencils- and scrunched up pieces of previously used paper. She sighed, wondering what Luke was doing right now, if he was thinking of her. Which he more than likely wasn't.
She didn't even care that much about Miss Greere's production, anyway. I could always do it Sunday night, right? Hallie thought. She reached for her phone and dialled Violet's number, making sure to put her on speaker.
"So I heard you and Hemmings had a little bit of a sleepover." Violet greeted from the other line. Cue pterodactyl eruption.
"Yeah, I guess. Thanks for dropping off my things by the way. But, um ..." Hallie swallowed the colossal lump in her throat. She felt like she could die (then again, it was becoming more frequent of an emotion). Fucking hell.
"I think I love him, Vi. I think ... I feel like every time I see him, the chorus of Me and You by Fall Out Boy is playing in the background." She tried to laugh, anything to cover up the fact that her cheeks were redder than ever and possibly sweating, Hallie hated it. And she was positive Violet would assure it, even on speaker-phone.
"Hals, you say it as thought it's something I don't know." Hallie was on the verge of biting a hole in the side of her cheek. She only wished she was back at Luke's house, wearing his Cage shirt, tiresomely kissing at each other's neck as if to pretend Luke was at least a little bit sober. She wanted him.
To Hallie, Luke was a lot of things. He was like all the food groups in one breakfast, like the same cologne he always wore. He was like turning up to The Agora and seeing the floors had been polished overnight. He was like a cliff's edge, always ready to leave Hallie hanging over the edge.
He was also far from even wanting to feel vice versa, too.
"Ugh, please don't tell Michael." Hallie pleaded, picking at the skin around her nails. She really felt like she could die now (she felt like she could die lots of times when she thought of Luke) even if she was only talking to Violet. It could be worse, Hallie thought. Ashton could appear at this moment. Luke could appear at this moment. Luke could be at Michael's house right now and overhear this conversation. She could have to stand up at the front of the school auditorium and declare her love for Luke in front of the entire student body. The possibilities circulated around Hallie's head like a goldfish in a tank. Hallie sighed the most melancholic sigh she could conjure and collapsed on her bed's aspen white sheets. What was she even thinking? Of course she was stupid enough to even contemplate confessing her love for Luke. She didn't even want to think about what she would say in the process.
"Don't worry, Hal. I won't tell Michael ... but you should maybe talk to Luke about how you feel. You guys were inseparable at Jesse Pratt's."
Then she remembered how it felt when they kissed. But he was drunk, she thought.
"I don't really feel like basking in rejection today, Vi." Hallie looked down at her nails, that she had painted white this morning (she managed to chip and stain them already with water-base in attempt to plan out something for her final end of year visual art examination, she couldn't cogitate anything that would receive a big enough mark nor express anything that she felt.
Because all she could cogitate was stupid memories of Luke.
"Come over tonight?" Hallie could just see Violet grinning, probably laying on the verge of her bed up-side down (nothing unusual to Hallie). She could hear Blink 182 playing in the background, most likely Michael's instigation.
"Okay, but I need to bring some stuff to do for Miss Greere while I'm there, is Michael over?" Hallie looked down at her Arctic Monkeys tee (which was stained with pizza grease), mentally deciding whether or not to bother changing. Definitely, she thought.
"Yeah, he's asleep at the moment. Come 'round at like 8:30?" Violet laughed, taking a bite from what to Hallie sounded like chocolate. She wanted, badly, to hang up and call Luke. In Hallie's head, it was a good idea. But it wasn't.
A part of Hallie wanted to forget him.
"Yeah, 8:30."
Luke
Saturdays were the worst, to Luke. Only because he had no chance whatsoever of seeing Hallie, really. But this Saturday really was the worst. Luke had French homework that was due Monday and was beginning to contemplate pulling the strings of his Twenty One Pilots hoodie as tight as they could go in attempt to avoid the stupid french assignment that lay before him. He'd only completed 4 of 12 questions, anyway. Surely that's enough for today, Luke thought. I can finish the rest tomorrow.
Luke set aside his homework and sat on his bed. He decided to text Hallie, making sure to swallow the almost mountainous lump lodged in his throat. Fucking hell. He swallowed again, his thumbs managing to meet the keyboard. Luke mentally drop-kicked himself in the throat.
New message from Hallieee :-)
Luke could almost feel the air in his stomach convolute every time Hallie texted him (he could always feel it convolute around Hallie). It was inevitable. Sometimes he hated it, knowing she had him left in nothing more or less than a fucking mess, but tonight he liked it. For the first time Luke felt like he enjoyed the interceding effect Hallie had on him. That was how it felt to be in love with her, Luke thought.
Before he could even begin typing back, Luke's phone rang. It was Michael.
"What's up?" Luke groaned, he carelessly put Michael on speaker and threw his phone (Luke mentally thanked his phone for managing to land at the end of his bed).
"I'm at Vi's and her mum and dad went to the movies so we're having a ... gathering." Michael's voice echoed from the end of Luke's bed, Luke laughed.
"I don't know, I sorta have that French assessment thing to do before Monday." Luke countered, checking the time on the alarm clock that sat on his dresser; 8:25. He could hear Nirvana playing in the background of Violet's room.
"Calum and that Farren girl are coming over too ... and Hallie." Michael cooed. Luke felt the air leave his lungs almost instantly. He thought about Hallie for what felt like the hundredth time today, even if she was at his house just several hours ago. He tried to imagine what Hallie was doing at this moment. Was she aready at Violet's? Was she showering before leaving? God, it took everything for Luke to stop imagining Hallie in the shower. "Luke?"
"Yeah, I'll be there in like 10." With that Michael hung up and Luke felt a wave of disorientation. How else could he word it? A wave of freak-out? Probably.
Luke dumped -what felt like- half a bottle of cologne on himself and changed his shirt to his Kurt Cobain one. Hallie said she liked that one once in geography. At least it was clean. He wondered if Hallie was still wearing his Cage The Elephant tee from last night (she more than likely wasn't).
Luke grabbed his phone and shrugged on the first comfortable sweater in view - there may as well have been a blizzard outside. He remembered to take off his glasses and leave them at home. He didn't really want Hallie thinking he wasn't cool, not that he was, anyway. That was Calum and Michael's expertise.
"Mum! I'm going to Michael's!" Luke called, hasting down the stairs and almost making it out the door.
"Wait! Are you seeing the girl that stayed here last night?" Fuck.
"No ... I mean, she's gonna be there but - "
"Honey, it's fine. I saw you guys leave before you thought anyone was awake. Just tell me first if you're going to invite girls over, okay?" Luke wanted nothing more than for the ground to swallow him head-first right now, anything.
"Okay but I gotta go now mum so ... um, yeah." Luke mentally cringed at the thought of his mum knowing about Hallie. He didn't even remember half of last night, though. How could he forget? Every time she kissed him it was like the voltage in everything got switched up to a thousand and he could hear his own heartbeat over the music. He could never forget.
"Luke! What's her name?" Luke's mum exhorted, clutching a tea-towel.
"Gotta go, mum! Love you!" Before he could fathom anything at all he slammed the door shut, welcomed by the fulgurating Williamsburg air that pierced his eyes like a knife. Luke thought about driving his dad's pickup truck but Michael's house wasn't even far, probably a five minute walk. He'd already gotten used to the cold, anyway.
Hallie
8:40. She hadn't been told that there was alcohol, let alone Calum and Farren. Hallie was just thrilled a very much so dreaded Ashton wasn't there, too. She'd been sat at Violet's dining table outlining a rough design for the school musical's backdrop in which was the first one Hallie had drawn today that she actually liked, she just hoped Miss Greere would like it, too.
"C'mon, Hal, are you gonna be drawing all night?" Farren groaned, pulling Hallie from her seat - she could smell the Smirnoff tarrying off of her breath already.
I wasn't aware this was a party, Hallie thought.
"Here, have a drink." Violet handed her a can of beer, which Hallie only obliged to have something to hold on to. She sat on the couch and watched how Calum looked at Farren as she returned to her seat next to him. Hallie took a sip from her pity-beer.
"Luke's here." Michael maundered, glancing up from his phone and he looked right at Hallie. She mentally choked on her beer. What? No. He couldn't be here.
And there he was, walking through Violet's front door. He looked even better than this morning, if that was even humanely possible (though, Luke wasn't even human, to Hallie). He was wearing a dark grey Celtic Chunky knit jumper with skinny jeans and his hair was a decorous mess. Hallie didn't want to be caught staring. She swallowed, biting at the innards of her cheek. How was she supposed to talk to him after last night? What would she say? How should she say it? Hallie left the couch and trudged back to the kitchen, failing at an attempt to busy her self in hopes Luke wouldn't notice.
But he did.
"Hey." He'd taken off his jumper already, he was wearing his Kurt Cobain shirt - he looked like he belonged in some pop-punk band. Luke smiled. The pterodactyls in her stomach had flown to the surface of her eosophagus and it made her want to throw up. Jesus.
"I uh ... the - hey." Hallie gathered her things from the dining table and clutched them as if to put it all in Violet's room but she had no intention of moving, really. Violet's shitty kitchen light had hit Luke perfectly and everything felt as if he was painted by Claude Monet, all his his cheekbones were high and sharp like a balcony, suspended over his striking jawline as if they cut Hallie's gaze (in which they didn't).
"Stay here a minute." Luke looked at Hallie's eyes, then her lips, then her eyes again. He put her sketchbook back on the kitchen table and took Hallie's hand in hers, guiding her to the kitchen island.
"What are you doing?" Before Hallie could register or do do remotely anything, she was already propped up by Luke's arms and sat on Violet's kitchen bench. For once her eyes were level with Luke's (who stood between her legs), catching a better view than she had imagined ever. Fucking hell.
"Hallie. Just ... give me your hand." Luke said after what felt like a millenium. She nodded and looked down at her hand, his hand cautiously held onto it. He guided towards himself and sure enough placed over his heart, the fabric of his Kurt Cobain shirt being the only thing keeping Hallie's touch from the absolute mess that was Luke's heartbeat. She felt like she froze.
Hallie wanted to pretend like she wasn't bothered. She wanted to say 'Cool' and have him wanting more as if she were Elizabeth Taylor and nonchalantly rejecting James Dean -Luke was definitely James Dean- but she couldn't.
"Here." Hallie took Luke's hand in her own and followed in suit. She held his hand to her own heartbeat (that was going close to a million miles per hour) and awaited for Luke to say something, anything. Instead he just looked at her, then his hand, then her, again. Then his hand.
"Either you're having a stroke or that was cause of me." Luke grinned. God, even his teeth were perfect under this light. Now, she felt as if she could be swallowed by a whirlpool and she wouldn't even care. Everything that came out of Luke's mouth sounded as if it were a quote from an 80's teen romance film. He took her hands in his (again) and inched closer to her reeking-of-beer lips. Hallie felt as if she'd just bitten into a lemon with her front teeth.
+
oh my god caitlin, you updated.
this is such a frequent thing that you do consistently.
first of all many apologies for not updating in almost a month, it takes a while for me to get my creative juices to flow easily to produce a chapter good enough so i can publish so i hope you understand, sorta. eh.
as always this book is dedicated to the wondrous lukelands aka marionz , please chuck her a follow and check out her books bc she is a truly talented writer.
even though it is a month late, i am proud of this chapter because excluding the author's note it's 2,412 words long and that makes me happy.
i think i'll leave this a/n short because i don't wanna bore you.
but be sure to comment your thoughts, vote, share to your pals and i appreciate feedback a whole lot so just let me know if i can fix anything.
also happy new year!
okay, i think i should go now.
byeeeee.