Whenever the Prophet (ﷺ) lay down for sleep at night, he would place his (right) hand under his (right) cheek and supplicate: "Allahumma bismika amutu wa ahya [O Allah, with Your Name will I die and live (wake up)]." And when he woke up, he would supplicate: "Al-hamdu lillahil-ladhi ahyana ba'da ma amatana, wa ilaihin-nushur (All praise is due to Allah, Who has brought us back to life after He has caused us to die, and to Him is the return)."
[Al-Bukhari].
Sunnah.com reference : Book 5, Hadith 4
Arabic/English book reference : Book 5, Hadith 817
Amjad P.O.V
I wish I could stay with her. I didn't want her to go through this ordeal alone. I wanted to stay for me. She was stronger than me and there was no way she would stop me and she was being reasonable. I admired her courage.
Travelling to Ireland was hectic, the halt in Germany took around eight hours and I was tired. The first thing I did after reaching my apartment was, call her. She was pretending hard to sound cheerful, I could sense that she was crying. We spoke for a while and I slept for some time. I had used up all my holidays and couldn't afford to be sick.
I was given a grand welcome at work and they all demanded for a party, since I never went for parties in Ireland, I bought them lunch and they were happy. I told my colleagues that I would become a father soon. I cherished the memory of my child's heartbeat and I couldn't wait for my baby's arrival.
I started buying toys and clothes. I know it was very early and there was still time but the cute toys and clothes beckoned me from the glass windows and I didn't mind indulging a bit for my child.
Marjaan P.0.V
The days were very long and the nights longer. I refused to go downstairs, everyone tried cheering me up. I cried all the time. Things were happening so fast. My heart scolded me every second for letting him go.
But I was adamant; l tried my best to conceal my emotions when he called. We were accustomed to each other so much that it hurt to be apart and he would have sensed my sadness the same way I sensed his tiredness.
I tried hard to concentrate in my studies, it helped to an extent during the day. Nights were even more difficult. I couldn't sleep....at all. I couldn't sleep during daytime, I had bags under my eyes and I started binge eating because of all the stress.
I thought the tears would stop as days passed, but, I didn't know where my body had stored all these tears.
He would Skype me daily and we would speak for hours. He had a job and I had to study so we would communicate through chats and email. He would message me whenever he had time and I would send his long mails whenever I could.
Afreen would come and stay with me and that was a huge relief, she would joke non-stop and slowly with time I was getting back to my original self.
We had scheduled timings for the calls so that we wouldn't miss each others calls. He would always call soon after work and my life was on my phone. When I get his call l get very happy and when the call gets over I become gloomy again.
I had an exam on advertising the next day and I spent my time studying, there was a lot to catch up.
I checked my phone and saw couple of messages.
Sunshine: how are you, chubby, did you eat your vitamins? Don't get too worried about exams; you will get good grades as usual.
Sunshine: I have made my bank account into joint account, once the formality is over Faizal will give you the card and cheque book.
Sunshine: I miss you a lot Chubby. I wish I could be with you .I am trying to get you here as soon as possible.
Sunshine: love you loads, Marjaan.
I had a smile on my face after seeing these messages. He would message me whenever he could and I replied to him as well
Chubby: I feel lonely even when I am in a crowd, I am studying well and I hope I get better grades than last time; I have kept alarm daily for the vitamins so that I won't forget and you're there to remind me. Farza deede visited me yesterday and Ummi called me. I miss you a lot as well.
I love you too sunshine.
I hadn't stepped out of my house ever since he left and going to college felt like a task and since it was an exam the prospect didn't make me feel any better. I went in the same bus i used to take, but, sadly there was no sleep. I craved to get some sleep and I was really looking forward to my bus sleeping routine. But all my routine went out of the window.
I reached college and flipped through my book waiting for the others to come.
Diane came first and she hugged me.
"Why are you not picking calls? And who am I supposed to call when I have doubts? If I fail, you're dead" Diane started semi yelling at me.
"I am really sorry, Di, I wasn't in a mood to talk, don't worry l am fine now and why didn't you call Batul, I am sure she would have had all answers." I said in my defence.
"She would start off with the jargons and she would inform me the potions she has covered and that would make me feel like I haven't studied anything. Am sure she will top this time."
"I hope so too, she is so bright. Mashallah and she does give it all her time"
Just when we were talking Batul rushed towards us
I felt much livelier and happier around these people l should have called them home, but with the finals coming there was no time for relaxing.
Batul gave us last minute lessons and we went through her self-made question paper. She was our nerd.
The bell rang and there was no sign of Hima, I started panicking she always did this to me, she would come late for exams and I would freak out I would forget half of what I studied just thinking about her.
Hima came in just before the invigilator did and l was relieved. Long back in our first year, Hima came forty minutes late for sociology exam and I was worried sick throughout. All I could think of was whether she was in an accident or some catastrophe. I ended up getting my first C for that exam and l always emotionally black mailed her to come early so that I won't end up with bad grades. It worked... to an extent.
I waved from the other end and she waved back.
The college that was always colourful and with too many lively occupants to a cinematic degree, was deadpan that day. What Hima would call later, "a memorable experience of kenopsia!"
Time dragged on, and the examination hall was almost deadpan except for the constant whirring of the fan and occasional sound of an answer sheet being flipped over. With 90 minutes left for the 3 hours semester exam, the silence of the lambs were rudely interrupted by a confident voice that called out, "ma'am..?" waving her answer sheet. Hima and I exchanged smirks while Batul was generously applying whitener over her paper and blowing it to dry. Diane, on the other hand, wouldn't look up from her paper even if she's nominated for the Oscar awards.
I signalled Hima about where I would be waiting and made a dash for the exit while a perplexed examiner went to my pages trying to gauge what kind of wizardry I was up to.
I had to wait for another twenty minutes before Hima joined me asking me to buy her something from the canteen before she discussed another word. While walking, she was onto briefing me about some conspiracy theory she had read on the internet but I was in no mood. I missed him and I felt heavy inside. The much fought over pazhamporis (banana fries) served hot, or the cold soda couldn't bring my spirits up. Hima handed me her cell phone she had smuggled in to cheer me up, and I dialled his number, left him a miss call.
She made me promise not to cry like a baby and left me while she went to check if someone was coming.
The moment I heard his voice I was overwhelmed with an infinite sense of happiness and I poured out even the minutest details of my day so far which he was only happy to listen to. He too was missing me terribly and his voice was melancholic. In another 30 minutes, more people were coming out and we had to end our conversation.
Slightly better, but still haunted by a pang of sadness. I watched Diane and Batul walking towards us. As expected Batul was trying to bewitch her question paper to an impossibly overstuffed bag that looked like it wanted to vomit out some of the Xeroxed notes? Diane looked like she witnessed a tragic reality and is now readying herself to face enlightenment.
"So?" was all I that had to ask.
Diane went on like a radio song for three minutes straight about her wrong choices and her projections of her grades that were going to follow. While I let her go on, I sensed a "non-verbal" exchange passed between Batul and Hima. When I turned Hima was inspecting shards of grass "to inspect its medicinal properties" by smelling them and Batul was dialling home asking when they could come to pick her up.
"What was your product launching ad, Diane?" I asked her, as it was my favourite question from the test.
"Wireless microphone" Diane said, momentarily pleased with her. "I saw one of them at my carol partner's house. Pretty cool that!"
"Ohhh... Wish I came up with something smart like that!" said Batul "I couldn't think of anything, I tried multiple products I saw on Tele-Brands ad and finally went for that car-water-sprayer-thing?" And briefly told us about the tactics she used.
"Hey, that's not too bad! It's pretty rad, Batz!" I confirmed.
"You think so? I hope so too. I didn't want to be writing about laundry products or mediocre products like that" Batul asked looking hopeful. "And what was yours?"
I grinned. "Oh. Nothing!"
"Lemme guess...tour operators?" Batul lightly patted me on the shoulder. Diane pulled thumbs up in between calculating her points she eared so far.
"Close" I was starting to feel better already. My friends knew me so well and I was feeling so much warm inside.
"Online Travel Company"
"Like makemytrip and all?"
"Yeah"
"I gave out some cool features of the website interface. And you know my brother and his website developing hobby. I could say I fairly know how it works" I added confidently.
"And you Hima? Was it Atom bomb detonator?" Batul half-joked.
"Hima, Oh for God's sake stop eating leaves!!" I cried out with surprise mingled with horror!
"Hey I know this plant! Totally edible. though a bit on the bitter side. Here try! It's clean" trying to reach my mouth with an ugly looking spotted leaf!
"Eww! Go away. Goat" I said pushing her.
"Fine. Your loss. It was nutritious" and added with a second thought "Amjad would approve" trying to sell me the idea.
Batul has a very sound presence of mind; she must have seen my face falling at the mention of his name and instantly diverted the conversation back to track. "Ayy, plant woman! What was your ad about?"
"Uh... Sanitary Napkins?" she said distractedly.
"What?!" we chorused in unison.
"It was okay, I think. What do you think of "prepare before tsunami strikes again?" for caption? I think it might sell on coastal areas" she went on, rendering all three of us speechless.
The exam went very well and I was so happy that one exam was over. We had three day gap between each of the five exams in two weeks' time my college life would come to end. Even though I was in love with my campus and friends, I was glad college was getting over as studying while pregnant was very difficult.
I boarded my bus and felt much relaxed, exam was good so was the meeting with friends. I was learning to be content with what I have.
I made up my mind to visit Afreen, it had been a week since she lingered in my house just for my happiness. Her exams were over and she was enjoying watching television. I scared her from behind and she scolded me. Little did I know that she was watching horror movie. We both spent some time watching TV and eating chips.
"I thought I would have to spend my whole life cheering you up" Afreen pouted.
"Nah, you will just Nag me to death, I had no choice other than to cheer up. Way better than enduring endure you" I made a face.
I spent time till Magrib at her house and went home very happy.
Time was healing me and I was learning to appreciate what I had. I was determined to make my family happy, I hadn't been talking to them mostly and preferred staying in my room. I was so glad that Daddy was at home, I went and hugged him and kissed him on his forehead.
"I was so caught up in grief, couldn't give my old Daddy enough attention"
"Who is old? I am 30 with 20 years of experience"
Daddy was always a little sensitive over his age and I knew just how to pick on it.
After many days l laughed and spent time with family, Bhaiyya bought me ice cream and Mumma maid my favourite ladies finger and cabbage. My husband being a pure non vegetarian, I had missed vegetables we had a happy family dinner and the atmosphere was much cheerful.
Mumma had already started preparing healthy food for me. Where she got so much time for that, I never understood. The sad part of healthy food is that it didn't taste as good as unhealthy food and Mumma would make sure that I ate all of it.
I was so grateful to have an understanding family. They gave me time and didn't push me at all.
After dinner we stayed in the living room and spoke at lot and since there was three more days for the next exam I gave myself a break.
He called me at night and we spoke for an hour. He noticed the visible change in me and started off complimenting me. My body amazed me even after two months of marriage, it would turn red and I would try hard not to look stupid.
He would tell me all about his work and I would tell about my day.
This was a happy day and l slept peacefully.
My sleep didn't last long. I had a terrifying nightmare and woke up startled.
He was looking at me with distrust and I could sense the hatred spreading on his face. He looked at loathingly and said, "How could you do this to me? You don't deserve me" and walked away.
I was so glad it was a nightmare, I was sweating all over, and it was two a.m. I went to the washroom.
There was blood in my underwear.
I didn't want the nightmare to get real. I stood there numb, Not knowing what to do next. My life had suddenly become a roller coaster ride and I didn't enjoy it one bit.
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Assalamualaikumm,
What do you think will happen in next chapter.
The sad part of this story has started. It will be over soon In sha Allah.
Do leave in your comments.
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