May 3, 2012
Austin, Texas
I struggle to open my eyes. Groaning a bit as I try to move. It's then I realize, I'm laying on the hardwood floor. All the memories of last night come rushing back to me in an instant. Ryan dropping me off, then my dad waiting for me outside the bathroom door.
Shit.
It happened again. I tiredly open my eyes and get up on my feet slowly, wincing when I move the wrong way. My ribs feel like they are on fire. Holding the wall for support as I steadily walk in the bathroom.
My eye is swollen as well as my cheek. A dark purple circle has formed on he skin around my eye and it is completely blood shot. He managed to bust a blood vessel.
He must have hit me fucking harder than normal. I am going to have to use some serious make up to cover the bruises this time.
What am I going to do about my eye? I panic. I cannot call off of work. Letting out a painful sigh I guess I will just have to make up some excuse. I have become very good at it from doing it on a weekly basis.
How can my own father do this to me? I think to myself as I stare into the mirror. Hollow green eyes stare back at me. One of these days, there is going to be nothing left in them. No spark of hope, no sadness, no more fight. Nothing but emptiness.
Taking off my shirt, I begin to inspect the damage, wincing as I bite my tongue. Trying not to scream out in agony. Breathing even hurts, let alone moving my arms in any way. The whole left side of my torso and back have bruises larger than the size of my hand. This is going to kill me to do everything today.
It's already four in the morning and I have to be at the Maggie's Diner by six. Hopefully two hours gives me enough time to get ready.
Before taking a shower, I put on a old t-shirt and jeans run outside to feed the animals. Ten beef cows, two dozen chickens, five horses, two dogs, and one cat later, I am finished. Mucking the stalls will have to wait until later, and I just hope I don't get in trouble for not doing it now.
I vigorously apply make-up to my bruised face after I do my hair. Since I have had so much practice, the bruise is practically invisible to the naked eye. I sometimes wonder if people ever really notice what happens to me. If they see the painful marks that cover my skin. Nobody ever says a word. All assuming my lies are true and farm life being the actual cause of everything.
I sigh to myself and put on a plain black t-shirt that hugs my skin, making my DD size chest more noticeable. I don't do baggy shirts, only my rodeo shirts and sleeping shirts are baggy.
I pull up my Levi's and tuck in my black shirt before buttoning them and putting on my belt. They make my behind look big, in my opinion. Maggie doesn't like me wearing my wranglers for some odd reason unknown to me. I do believe it is because my rear end earns us more tips. She constantly tells me to sway my hips back and forth while I work. Telling me to walk like a runway model as I clear tables. It must work because she tells me to do it everyday.
Lastly, I slip on my cowboy boots, grab my hat, wallet, keys, and head out the front door. My dad snoring away on the couch and my mother was hiding in their bedroom. I never see her come out much unless she knows my dad is out or asleep.
[*]
One more hour left of my shift. The ache in my feet and body almost pleading with me for the shift to end.
I huff as I stare at the clock above the register. The last hour always goes by so slow. No matter how much work you have to do the seconds seem like they merely tick by.
We have been busy this morning since the fair is going on this week and it is making the pain worsen as the hours have passed. So many people coming through the doors. All the waitresses on duty barely have time to take a breath. Rushing back and forth from the kitchen with dirty dishes and hot meals ready to be served.
After clearing off a table and readying it for the next customers to use, I hear the door open and turn to see Ryan and a few of his friends walking in. I feel my face heat up already.
How does he even know I even work here?!
Oh God, I hope he doesn't notice my face. Crap my eye! Oh no!
He gives me a breath taking smile, giving me a wink before they all take a seat in a booth. Good he doesn't see yet.
Phew!
Turning back to the table give I give it a good wipe down with the rag in my hand before carrying the bin of used dishes to the kitchen.
Out of the corner of my eye I can see the other waitress on duty, Claire, practically running to their table is desperation. I cannot help roll my eyes.
She is one of the towns notorious buckle bunnies. I don't think there isn't a man in this town that hasn't tasted her carrots. Well, all the schmucks have anyways. She is tall, long legs, shoulder length blond hair, with bright blue eyes and a slender figure.
And easy as they come....
"Alaina!" Claire hisses, stomping her way towards me just as I come back out of the kitchen and grab the coffee pot. Someone has just pissed in her cheerio's.
"What?!" I snap as I put the pot onto the warmer.
Her and I have had plenty of go arounds over the years. She used to bully me until one day I just couldn't take it any more and I beat the living shit out of her.
Now, she tries to stay away from me for the most part. She still likes to test her limits every now and again and I put her in her place.
"That table asked for you to be their waitress for some stupid reason!" She glares at me pointing to the table where Ryan and his two friends are sitting. All three of them listening with curious ears and trying to hold in their laughs of amusement.
"Is there something else you'd like to say to me?" I growl. She is only few inches taller than me and our chests are touching as I get in her face.
"N-no, that's it." She practically whimpers after seeing the menacing look in my eyes.
"Good." I walk around her bumping her shoulder as I pass and make my way towards the guys table. The small bump hurt my ribs but it was worth it.
I love scaring her.
I give the guys a warm smile as I approach. "Hello, boys. I'm Alaina, and I will be your waitress. What would you gentlemen like to drink?" I ask handing them all a menu.
I make sure Ryan can't see my bad eye and pray the other guys don't say anything.
"Well, I'm not eating right at the moment. I am saving my appetite for my date." Ryan says with a smirk.
"Good thing she already ate." I reply, cockily. His smile falls and his other two friends are cracking up on his behalf.
"I like her already." Cowboy A with the brown hat says.
"Me too. Better than that buckle bunny we met in California. God. She was just an awful woman." Cowboy B with the black hat says as he shivers in disgust. I see Ryan shift uncomfortably in his seat and his face starts turning red. I can't help but laugh.
"Laina, these two idiots are my best friends. Josh and Steve." He says grumpily. I shake both of their hands in mine.
Steve is the one in the black hat, and Josh is wearing the brown. I must remember that. I'm terrible with names. Steve is less muscular than Josh, and has dark brown hair and brown eyes. Josh has light blond hair and green eyes, and is more muscular and stocky. Both are still a fine site to look at.
"Well, guys you have my attention, so do tell me about this buckle bunny?" I say in a teasing tone.
"No, no. That's quite alright, they ain't tellin' nothin'." Ryan spits out. We all laugh at his little outburst, and I take Josh and Steve's orders. Ryan only orders an iced tea.
I leave them alone to eat and take care of a few more tables, cleaning them off and counting my tips for the day. By eleven o'clock I am practically throwing off my apron. My ribs are throbbing at this point and I'm in dire need of some pain medication.
Maybe I can dart out of here without Ryan seeing me? I decide to go to the bathroom before I leave and form out a plan in my head.
"Ready?" I scream after I open the bathroom door and am half way across the diner, bee-lining towards my only escape route. My heart is racing now.
"Don't do that!" I scold Ryan, who is trying his best to hold in his laugh while leaning on the wall, his arms crossed over his chest. "I hate it when people scare me." I huff avoiding his eyes and keep my head down.
"I'm sorry. Are you ready to go?" He is trying his best not to smile now.
"Yes." I growl, walking out the door to my truck. There went my plan, straight down the drain.
Why couldn't he wait until later to see me? He never follows instructions.
I'm about to climb in the driver's side when he grabs my waist. I wince, letting out a small whimper of pain as he squeezes me. He must notice because he instantly lets go.
"Are you okay, baby?" He turns me towards him and stills when he see's my bloodshot eye. A look of horror crosses his face. I put my head down.
"I'm fine." I lie, giving him the best smile I can.
"I know you're lying to me." I close my eyes trying not to meet his. I feel his fingers on my chin and my he pulls my head up to look at him.
"I'm fine, Ryan." He rubs my bruised cheek and eye with his fingers. I wince again and he instantly wets his thumb and gently wipes some make-up away. His eyes are immediately livid and getting darker by the second.
"Did your father do this to you?!" He hisses, disgusted. I just nod.
"It's not the first time, Ryan. You've seen how my dad is. Look, can we not talk about this right now. I really have to get home and finish my chores before I go help Gabby. I don't want to get into any more trouble." I plead hoping he will let it go.
"I'm coming with you." He states sternly, taking my keys from my hand.
"What? No, Ryan!" I hiss and try to get them back, letting out a yelp as my body protests.
"Enough, Alaina, I am going!" He demands. His fists are clenched tightly against his sides.
"Fine." I mumble and my shoulders sag in defeat.
"I'm driving." He sets me in the truck gently and pushes me over to the passenger seat. I don't argue or say anymore as he drives towards my house.
My dad's truck is gone from his spot. Letting me know he went to the bar since he didn't have to work.
Good riddance.
Ryan doesn't say anything and helps me muck the stalls and tend to some of the horse's. Both of us are dead silent as we work. Making me wonder what he is thinking about. I try not to let it bother me, but it does.
Once we are finished, we walk out of the barn I see the cow's have gotten out of the fence somewhere. They are scattered all over the field. Great this is going to take me hour's to round them up.
"Fuck!" I hiss, running back into the barn ignoring the pain shooting through my ribs.
Opening a stall door, I get my other horse, Flash, I hop on him bareback with no bridle. I urge him to a gallop out of the barn and head towards the loose cows. A few moments later, I hear the sound of hooves behind me, and turn to see Ryan riding Rebel.
"What are you doing?" I shout, stopping Flash.
"Helping. If I don't help you, you won't make it to the horse show at the fair." He calmly states riding ahead of me. Man this man is stubborn but I am grateful for the help and can't hold back my smile.
It takes us only fifteen minutes to get all the cattle back inside the fence and repair it. The fastest that has ever happened. I had told my dad we needed to get barbed wire instead of using this old, rotting wood fence. It just made him mad.
After we fix the fence, we put the horses back in the barn and go inside my house.
Thankfully, my mother has it spotless. All the reminders of my dad's drunken madness is cleaned up from the night before. It doesn't even smell of cigarette smoke. I don't know how she does it.
My dad may not be a good parent, but my mother is the best. Always sweet and caring to others. My father included. Even after everything he does to her.
Ryan follows me into the kitchen where my mom is washing dishes.
"Hey mom." I say as she turns to face us. Her eyes go directly to Ryan and she blushes. His smile doesn't just make me blush. I watch her with amusement as she tries to look anywhere but him.
She notices my black eye and gives me a sad look. Apologizing with her own eyes. She doesn't say anything in front of Ryan, which I am grateful for.
"Hey sweetie. Who's your friend?" She asks politely drying her hands of the suds with the dish towel.
"Mom this is my friend Ryan, Ryan this is my mom Kathy." He walks up to her and shakes her hand.
"Boyfriend." Ryan corrects. "Nice to meet you ma'am. I can see where Laina gets her good looks." Oh what a charmer. He could charm the pants off of any woman. Ugh.
"Nice to meet you. You better treat my daughter well. I will castrate you if you don't." She says smirking.
"Mom!" I scold.
"What? I'm just being honest." She says in an innocent voice.
"I wouldn't dream of it ma'am. I really like your daughter, but she is a stubborn one." He grins.
"Stubborn as a mule this child." She states gesturing over to me. I roll my eyes at the two of them talking about me like I'm not even here.
"That she is." He looks right at me. The look is intense, I feel like it sets my skin on fire.
"Well, I am going to change." I say and quickly turn and walk up to my room, listening to them make small talk. Which I know is about me no doubt.
My body is still burning up from him! Ah! How does he do that to me!? Even bruised an broken he can make me forget the pain!
In my room I take off my dirty black shirt that smells of fried food and search my closet for a shirt, standing only in my black lacy bra that's practically see through. I hear someone come inside the door and don't bother to look thinking it's my mom.
"Mom, where is my..." I turn to look up see Ryan leaning on my dresser, staring at me with blazing eyes. I quickly put my hands over my chest.
"Get out of here!" I whisper yell and point to the door.
He walks toward me and every step he takes forward, I take one back. His gray orbs are even more intense than I've ever seen them. My back hits the wall and he is standing right in front of me, my head tilts to look up at him.
"Let me look at your bruises." He gives me a stern tone. I shake my head no.
"Now, Alaina." He warns. I refuse to let him see them. I am already ashamed enough. "Trust me, Alaina. I just want to look." His voice is softer this time.
After about five minutes, I give up the battle. Biting my lip, I slowly turn around letting him look at the bruises on my back and side.
His fingers are gentle and leaving a trail of fire wherever they touch. When he applies pressure I can't help but wince and jerk away from him.
"Sshh. It's okay, baby. I just wanna make sure nothing is broken." He says gently and I nod.
I can feel a few tears fall freely. I am so embarrassed, once again. Slowly, he turns me to face him. I don't want to look him in the eyes. Using the moisture from my tears he wipes away what's left of the make-up covering the bruised skin.
"What has he done to you?" He whispers putting his forehead on mine.
"He tries to break me. He wants to break my spirit. He says I'm like a wild horse and just need to be tamed." I reply sadly.
"Trust me it's been worse." I whisper after a long silence.
"I will kill him if he touches you again!" He snaps. His jaw now hard and teeth clenched tightly.
"Let's not worry about that right now now. I can't let Gabby down." I say calmly. He nods reluctantly and sits down on my bed.
"Can you get out?" I blush covering my chest again.
"Nope. I've already seen it, there's no going back now." He smirks showing is perfect teeth.
"You are such a... Ahhh.." I groan in defeat. He laughs and shakes his head.
I stomp my foot and grab a short sleeved blue button up flannel shirt and put it on. I can feel him watching my every move as I tuck it in my jeans. I then go to the mirror and apply more make-up to cover the bruise.
"You're beautiful. Don't ever forget that." Ryan states, and comes up behind me and puts his arms around my waist gently. He moves my hair off of my neck and kisses it. My body betrays me and I tilt my head to give him better access. I moan when he kisses below my ear.
"As much as I'd like to continue this, baby, we are going to be late." He says huskily in my ear.
My panties instantly get wet.
Oh God! What the fuck is happening to me?
This man just may literally charm my panties off.
[*]
The smell of fair food is heavily in the air once again. Children are laughing and screaming as the rides twirl and spin them around in the air.
Ryan takes my hand in his as we walk past all of the carnival games. Some kids cry when they don't win the big stuffed animals and others cheer as they win. In my opinion they are a waste of money.
I can't help but notice that I am getting evil looks from a lot of women. I don't know if it's because of Ryan or if it's just because everyone knows my dad. Being the daughter of the town drunk earning me the vicious looks.
"Hey, Ryan!" a loud voice has the wo of us turning around. We both turn and I see a beautiful blond haired girl walking towards us as we walk past some of the 4-H barns.
Oh boy. This is about to get interesting. I just have a feeling. She gives me an evil glare as she stops in front of us and turns to Ryan.
"Christen." He replies annoyed. Okay, this must be one of his flings.
"You wanna hang out? I'm free all day and night." She says in a seductive tone. Ew! Gag!
"Nope I'm good. My girlfriend and I have plans." He states with a grin.
Girlfriend? I stare at him wide eyed. He said that at my house too.
"Really? You pick the white trash of the town over me, huh?" She sneers at me. Her eyes judging me with disgust.
"You wanna repeat that?" I hiss, stepping towards her.
"I said the-," I grab her by the hair on the back of her head before she can finish and pull her ear an inch away from my mouth. The way we look, it looks like I'm hugging her so we don't draw any attention.
"I dare you to fucking finish that sentence, unless you wanna run home missing some of your teeth." I let her go and smile, sickly sweet. Without another word, she hurries away and Ryan is looking down at me in shock.
"That was exciting." He says. I raise my eyebrows at him.
"Exciting?" I question, giving him a confused look.
"Yeah and hot as shit. I think she pissed her pants." He snickers.
"Well, would you have rather me walked away for you to deal with her. You could've kept her company all day and night." I emphasize the word night and roll my eyes.
"It wasn't like that, Laina. She has tried to get with me but I turn her down every time. I can't stand her. She is like a walking STD." He's disgusted as the words leave his mouth and shivers at the very thought. I let out laugh.
I have never been a person to get jealous, I had just never seen the point in it. It gets people nowhere in life.
"Gotta love them buckle bunnies." I state and shake my head as we continue on our way.
The crowds of people make it difficult to walk anywhere. Ryan leads the way, making sure to not let go of my hand. After loosing his grip once and nearly loosing me in the sea of people, he made sure to keep me close as possible.
We finally manage to reach the small show ring where the horse show is being held. I let out a sigh of relief as I look at my watch. We made it just in time.
Turning my gaze to the small hoard of people watching, I peer around to see if I can find Gabby or her parents.
"Alaina!" I hear the squeal of Gabby's voice. Turning around, I see her on her small chestnut quarter horse, Gunner, waving frantically so I see her. I make my way towards her, Ryan still not letting go of my hand as he follows.
"You ready, Gabby?" I ask looking up at her as I lightly scratch her horse's neck. His top lip moves and he stretches his neck, letting me know I found the good spot to itch.
"More ready than I'll ever be." She states looking at Ryan with raised eyebrows, noticing our intertwined hands.
"Gabby, this is, Ryan, Ryan, this is, Gabby." I introduce them.
"Is he your boyfriend?" She asks, almost hopefully. I'm about to say no and Ryan cuts me off.
"I am." I glare at him when Gabby squeals with excitement, her horse giving a small jerk underneath her as the shriek catches him off guard.
He just stands there grinning from ear to ear as I give him a this conversation is not over look.
{*}
Gabby won first place in her show. Just like I knew she would. She was good when it came to working with horses. I'd like to think she will follow in my footsteps someday.
After bidding our goodbyes, we make the long walk back to my truck. We are almost to it when I finally ask him, "Why do you keep telling everyone I'm your girlfriend?"
He shrugs. "Because that's what you are, or you will be. Sooner or later."
"Is that so Mr. Adams?" I ask amused.
"Yep." He says popping the p. "Well, we got the rest of the day to do whatever. What do you wanna do?" He asks opening the door to my truck as I climb in.
"Surprise me. You are the one that told me to give you a chance. Now all you need to do is convince me." I smirk crossing my arms.
"Oh, baby, I intend to." He smiles at me. Always so much confidence.
I think I've already fallen for this man.
Head over fucking heels.