It's three in the morning when my eyes half open to the darkness of Kai's living room, moonlight pouring through the slits of the blinds. I wrap the afghan around myself tighter, attempting to fall back asleep and ignore the eeriness of the dark, empty room.
Getting back to sleep proves to be unlikely when my stomach growls and uncomfortably twists. I realize my last meal was twelve hours ago and sigh. Being trapped in this world with Kai has significantly thrown off my eating habits.
Despite my tired body protesting with the movement, I sit up on the couch and swing my legs over, untangling myself from the afghan and standing up. My feet carry me in the direction of the kitchen, hunger being my only motivation to keep walking and not fall back onto the couch. Upon entering the doorway, I plan to immediately raid the fridge when the sight in front of me leaves me frozen to the spot.
Kai is crouched over the counter, one hand tightly gripping the wooden edge. The other is curled around the handle of a knife, the tip of the blade pressed against his chest. Inches away from piercing through his heart.
"Kai," I whisper in fear, slowly walking over to him. He doesn't respond to my voice, or maybe he doesn't hear me, due to the heavy, loud breaths currently being forced out of his lips.
When I reach his side, I cautiously raise my hand towards his chin, despite my trembling, and turn his face towards mine. His blue eyes are looking at me, but they're glazed over, like he doesn't really see me standing here.
Beads of sweat coat his face, sliding down his neck and disappearing in the collar of his black T-shirt. The muscles in his jaw move back and forth, as his eyes suddenly trail down to my hand holding his chin. His eyebrows pull together when he sees my grip.
Kai removes his tight hold on the counter top and uses his currently free hand to squish my fingers in his grip, cocking his head. I suck in a breath, trying to yank my hand free from his painfully tight grasp but he doesn't let up.
When his distant gaze meets my wide-eyed stare, I'm struck with the realization that Kai isn't fully awake. He's sleepwalking, but I have no clue how to safely pull him out of it.
"I give up," He deadpans, turning his head away from me to look down at the knife in his hand. His fingers tighten around it, knuckles whitening.
Gradually, he begins to push the knife into his chest, the blade plunging about an inch into his skin. I gasp, using the hand he wasn't squeezing to quickly grab the knife handle, stopping him from pushing it in deeper.
Kai chokes out a laugh, raising goosebumps along my skin. His grip on my hand loosens, so I immediately pull it free. With both of my shaking hands, I tug the knife free. The crimson blood covers the tip, slowly dripping down the silver blade.
Suddenly, Kai is grabbing me forcefully, his forearm going against my throat while his other hand wraps around my left arm. He shoves me against the fridge, sharp breaths exhaled through his nose.
"I said I give up," He hisses through gritted teeth, leaning in closer to me. "He wins."
"Kai, stop!" I cough. "You're not thinking clearly, you need to wake up."
His forearm only presses itself tighter against my throat at my plea. Dots color my vision, my lungs fighting to take in more air. I wrap my fingers more securely around the knife I took from him and lift it, sinking it into his upper arm. Kai gasps, harshly yelling out at the blade cutting into his skin, an intimidating mix of anger and pain contorting his features. His hold on me weakens considerably and I push him off of me, pulling the knife out of his flesh and backing away.
To my relief, Kai doesn't follow me. Instead, his body slumps against the fridge and he blinks rapidly, staring at the wound I inflicted in confusion. I don't speak or move, uncertain if he's completely awake or not. My heart races in my chest when his head turns slowly towards me, eyes studying me carefully. Then, his gaze travels to the knife clutched in my hands and his confusion morphs into anger.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" He straightens his previously hunched body, advancing towards me.
I look up at him, incredulously. "I could ask you the same question! You almost killed yourself and me."
Kai glances down at his bleeding arm and arches an eyebrow at me. "Really? Because you look completely unharmed, while I'm the one standing here with my skin cut open."
I sigh in frustration, throwing the knife onto the counter. "That was me defending myself, from being choked to death."
"Choked to death?" Kai frowns, tilting his head. "What exactly happened while I was..."
When he trails off, uncertain of what word to apply to his episode, I finish for him, "Sleepwalking."
The term causes his eyes to grow wider, his fingers tangling themselves in his dark hair. "Sleepwalking? That's ridiculous, I haven't sleepwalked since- I mean, I don't. I don't sleepwalk."
He looks away from me, his jaw muscles tightening. But I noticed the slip.
"You mean, it's happened before?" I ask quietly.
"Just tell me everything that happened while I was out," Kai demands, turning his cold gaze back on me.
I wrap my arms around my torso, looking at the fridge instead of the intensity of his blue eyes.
"I came in here to get a snack," I begin. "And you were standing at the counter with a knife to your chest, about to push it into your heart. And you said that.. that you give up. Then, you pushed it in your chest, but I stopped you before you could go any deeper."
I pause, reluctantly glancing over at him to assess his reaction. His eyes are intently trained on me, no sign of a reaction except for his clenched jaw.
"And when I pulled it out, you got angry and grabbed me. You shoved me against the fridge, with your arm against my throat. You, um, you said it again, that you give up and that he wins."
"Who's he?" Kai interjects, removing his hand from his hair.
"I don't know," I reply with a shrug. "You didn't say. But that's why I had to stab your arm, you weren't letting go of me."
Kai props one hand on the counter, leaning on it as he addresses me with a sudden look of curiosity. My eyes dart to the wall and back to his unwavering gaze, making me self conscious.
"What?" I question with a frown.
"Why did you stop me?" He murmurs. "I wouldn't have died, anyway."
My thoughts conjure up a Kai in his first eight months of solitary prison world confinement, imagining the boy who wrote that journal entry standing in possibly that same spot in the kitchen. I picture his hands shoving the knife into his own chest, hopelessness for life fueling his actions and making him wish for the cessation of his existence.
Maybe it's just in the Gilbert genetics to sympathize with even the darkest of people, but seeing that boy in my mind left a dull ache in my heart. But considering who he is, I should want Kai to go through the agony of taking his own life.
Should you? The softer, sees-good-in-everyone voice appears from the back of my mind, where I always try to push it when it comes to Kai. Does anyone deserve to go through that?
I attempt to shove the thoughts away. Kai is a sociopath, he killed his own family.
If a body count is really something you care about when it comes to who you surround yourself with, then why are you friends with people like Stefan and Damon?
I exhale through my nose, refusing to acknowledge the rational question.
No, it's not even rational, because the Salvatores are nothing like Kai. They never will be.
"Charlie?" His voice pulls me out of my inner battle, raising his eyebrows.
"What?" I say, forgetting what it was that he asked me in the midst of my conflicting thoughts.
"Why did you stop me from killing myself?" Kai asks again, reaching across the counter for a blue cloth and pressing it against his wound.
"Why wouldn't I?" I scoff. "It's called being a person, Kai. I'm not just going to stand by and watch someone take their life."
He shakes his head, laughing once. "Well, you were stupid to do it. I could've killed you."
"Whatever, it's over with, I stopped you and both of our hearts are still beating. Can't you just thank me?" I sigh, moving past him to open the fridge.
"I don't need to thank you," Kai retorts. "I can't die in here, anyway. It wouldn't have made a difference if you stopped me or not."
"That's nice, Kai," I deadpan, scanning the contents of the fridge. "Go ahead, try to lessen what I did."
I can feel his stare burning into my skin, but I ignore it, closing the fridge when nothing inside appears appetizing at the moment.
"I just don't understand what you expected me to do," I speak when he continues to stare daggers at me in silence. "I walk in, see you holding a knife to your chest, and what? Was I supposed to think oh, huh, better let him get back to it, get a snack like I originally planned, and leave you there?"
"Yes," He replies, exasperated. "Charlie, you're my key to completing the merge with Jo and becoming the leader of my coven. If I'm the leader, I'll be invincible against my father. I'll have a power over him that I've never had the luxury of having before. I need you alive, if I'm going to finally stop letting that asshole get away with pushing me around."
I roll my eyes. "Yeah, I know what your grand plan is, Kai, but you're exaggerating. I'd hardly say I risked my life tonight. Like you said, you're the one with the bloody arm and I'm standing here, unscathed. I think you severely underestimate me."
He chuckles, taking a step forward. "And what if you didn't have that knife, Charlie? Hm? Do you think you could have fought me off then?"
I grit my teeth, narrowing my eyes at his amused expression. A proper comeback fails to come to me at the moment at the irritating realization that he's probably right, but I refuse to admit that. But I can tell he takes my silence as a no, because an irritating smirk soon appears on his lips.
"See," He murmurs, cornering me against the counter, caging me in with both of his arms on either side of me holding the edge of the counter. My breath catches at his proximity, heart beating in my ears.
"Here's the truth, Charlie," Kai continues, the smirk on his face fading. "You're only human. I'm a witch and in a battle where you're reduced to nothing but your bare hands, you would never win."
Much to my frustration, it's hard to form a coherent thought when he's so close, our chests inches away from touching, his scent intoxicating me, hot breath making my eyes flutter.
It takes me a moment to compose myself, to clear my head of thoughts that run rapid due to Kai's nearness overwhelming my senses. I swallow hard, trying to lean back further against the counter.
"Let's not forget you're a siphoner," I purposely emphasize the word, watching as his face visibly flinches at the term. "Your family saw you as an abomination for a reason, Kai. You're hardly much use if it comes to battle, I know that, you know that, so does your entire coven-"
"Shut up," He whispers angrily, but the words continue to tumble past my lips, working faster than my mind.
"-And since you've been kicked around by them all your life, you're acting all high and mighty because now you have a powerless human and think that makes me inferior to you, which must be a nice change for someone who was so used to playing that role in their coven. But judging by the look on your face right now, I don't need powers or even a knife to get to you, Kai. All I need is-"
My words fade into a shocked gasp when he grips my upper arms, whirling me around and pressing my back against his chest, arm locking tightly around me. He reaches behind him and in the next few seconds, the knife he previously was pushing into his own chest is pressed against my throat.
Fear seizes my rapidly beating heart as his mouth hovers over my ear, heavy breaths fanning the skin of my cheek.
"How adorable," He breathes into my ear, shaking his head. "You've got no problem acting all tough in conversation, but when it comes down to it, you know I can easily kill you if I really want to and there's not much you can do to stop me."
Much to my humiliation, I feel tears sting my eyes at the pathetic state of weakness he manages to get me in and furiously blink them away. It's a state I find myself in far too often, being one of the few humans among my supernatural friends, most of them witches, werewolves, vampires. Even my brother, Jeremy, is human but he's also a vampire hunter and is much more capable of taking care of himself than I am.
Look at you, My nuisance of a subconscious teases. He's not even using his powers and you still can't fight him off. Stop making excuses. The fact is you're weak, supernatural enemy or not.
The knife is pushed against my skin slightly more force now, snapping me out of my thoughts, sending me into an inner panic that I try not to let show on my face.
"Like I've said," I say, voice quiet and shaking. "You won't kill me."
You're lucky he needs you for the merge, The unwanted voice pipes up again. God knows you'd be dead otherwise, since you're no match for a witch, anyway.
I attempt to ignore it, despite the fearful idle thoughts of what he'll do when he doesn't need me anymore.
Kai exhales through his nose, turning his head further to stare at me. I keep my gaze straight ahead at the window, keeping my jaw locked.
"That may be true, but I can do much worse," He says lowly, his words twisting my stomach.
"This is the thanks I get for stopping you from killing yourself," I retort, my voice cracking despite myself. "A threat."
"Well, Charlie, I had to show you the reality of what could've happened if you weren't lucky enough to have that knife handy." Kai sighs, removing the blade from my throat and releasing me. "Next time, you shouldn't be so stupid."
I take in a breath, standing there for a moment before spinning around and shoving him forcefully, causing him to stumble back.
"You're an asshole," I say, venom laced in my voice. "Next time, I'll be sure to let you drive that knife through your heart and I won't even flinch as I step over your body."
Kai smiles, placing the knife on the counter top. "We're getting along already, Charlie. I'm touched."
I snort, starting to walk past him, abandoning my original plan to get something to eat. Kai had definitely ruined my appetite.
Then my eyes catch the glinting blade he'd left on the counter. Before I thoroughly think it through, I'm grabbing the knife and shoving him against the fridge by gripping the fabric of his shirt, as I lightly push the tip against his throat.
His blue eyes widen momentarily, shocked, giving me a sense of satisfaction to have caught him off guard. Then, a smirk tugs at the edges of his lips.
"Giving me a taste of my own medicine?" He asks, raising his eyebrows.
"No," I shake my head. "Just proving you wrong."
I glare at him for a moment before roughly releasing him, throwing the knife into the sink and storming out of the kitchen.
As I attempt to make myself comfortable on the couch again, despite how much Kai had wound me up, he follows me.
"If I remember correctly," He begins, leaning his shoulder against the frame of the entry. "You came into the kitchen because you were hungry."
"Well, my appetite is ruined now, thanks," I mumble, laying back and staring up at the ceiling.
"Come on, Charlie," He sighs, clearly exasperated. "You've gotta eat something."
"I'll eat in the morning."
"It is the morning."
"I'll eat when it's daylight," I huff, frustrated and wanting nothing more than for him to leave me alone for the night.
"My parents have Pillsbury cookie dough in the fridge," Kai says, a smile in his voice. "I can make us some. That's an offer even you can't resist, no matter how much you hate me. Although, you must not hate me that much, or else I'd be temporarily dead on the kitchen floor right now."
"I can't keep up with you," I snap, sitting up on the couch and scowling at him. "One second, you're waving a white flag, the next, you're holding a knife to my throat. I'm tired of it, okay, we aren't friends and next time something like that happens, I'll leave you there. If helping you means me almost dying then it's not worth the trouble. You're not worth the trouble. So, just- just leave me alone."
I cross my arms over my chest, assessing his reaction carefully. All traces of playfulness leave his expression and his jaw clenches. He turns away from me and starts to leave the living room, reaching up to loosely grip the frame.
"When I said he wins," Kai looks straight ahead, not glancing at me as he speaks. "I meant my father. And that's the last thing I will allow to happen: for that bastard to win. So, excuse me for getting pissed off, but it's important to me that you stay alive and that I lead this damn coven."
I look away from him, averting my gaze toward the moonlight shining through the blinds, not bothering to reply. I didn't know what to say and what's more, I didn't want to say anything.
I hear his footsteps walk back down the hall, finally leaving me alone.
I lay back down, wrapping the afghan around me, curling into the sofa and drifting away with one thought dominating my mind.
I will never figure out Kai Parker.
Author's Note: Hey, guys, sorry for making you wait but I had a mild case of writer's block for this chapter, not to mention how busy I've been. But I finally had some spare time, so hope you enjoy!