ALEX'S POV
"Oh my goodness! I'm late.... Again!"
Traffic sa hapon? This is freaking insane! Nag-half day na ako sa work tapos mai-istuck pa ako sa traffic? If I only knew e nag train na lang ako instead na magmaneho ng kotse. Kaloka infairness! Sana andun pa 'yung mga special visitors ko sa bahay at hindi nainip. This is our last meeting day and I'm so nervous. This is the judgment day, if it's make or break. Urghh!
"Wake up Alex! You're a popular writer! You've already proven enough so relax," pagpapakalma ko sa sarili ko with matching sampal sa left face ko because of my being paranoid. Sino ba namang hindi mapaparanoid? Stuck ka na sa traffic, e di mo pa alam kung nagustuhan ng mga hired juries ko ang ginawa kong nobela?
After 2 hours na stuck sa traffic, nakarating na rin ako sa bahay. Well, hindi sa pagyayabang e maganda ang bahay ko na mala mansyon 'pag nakita mo sa labas, ganun din sa loob. Bunga 'yan ng pagiging successful ko sa real-estate business together with my hubby. Aside from my main job, I'm also a part-time writer sa LLJS Publishing. I'm a romance writer and I already published 20 love stories na pumatok sa madlang pipol. Hindi ko na iisa-isahin ang mga stories kong 'yun but I'm proud of what I've become. Hindi man ako fully-pledged na writer e naful-fill ko pa rin ang dream kong maging isang sikat na manunulat someday. Meron na nga akong offers from ABS-CBN at GMA but I declined their offers... ang liit kaya ng sahod ng writer at masyadong toxic. I write because I love it, at isa pa, ayokong ma-pressure.
"I'm so sorry. I'm so late," medyo apologetic ako nang pumasok sa mini-library ng bahay. As usual, nakaupo na sila sa kanilang respective seats. Dito ang everyday meeting location namin for the past three days. All they do was to read my story... at after that, hihingan ko sila ng opinyon. And they are all paid! I forced them na babayaran ko sila kahit my Bestie and James declined. They don't have any choice since I want to pay the time that they'll be spending reading my ODD STORY. Atleast, maybe in their books.
I hired three people to review my story. First, ang bestie kong si Amy Torres. She's also a popular writer sa publishing kung saan din ako galing. Yes, she's popular pero mas popular ako sa kanya. We always supported each other through thick and thin. No holds barred. 'Pag nagpapareview kami ng stories ng isa't isa, we made see to it na objective ang atake namin. Minsan, o kadalasan, masyado siyang straight forward pag nirereview ang gawa ko. Makapangit naman siya sa isa kong story na pinaghirapan ko. Pero since friendship ko siya.. okay lang naman. Naimprove ko rin naman ang sarili ko because of her honest critique. And ganun din naman siya sa 'kin.
"Anong bago Bestie?" reply niya sa 'kin. "Isang minuto na lang baka nakaalis na kaming lahat. Akala ko hindi ka na darating."
"Sorry, bestie... Sorry sa inyo... I'm stuck again.... IN TRAFFIC," pag-apologize kong muli.
"That's fine Alex," ani James na second jury ko. His full name is James Catacutan. He's a straight guy na varsity player ng Basketball sa isang kilalang school sa Maynila. He stands 6'1 at maganda ang pangangatawan. He's a part-time ramp model rin. Ewan ko ba kung paano ko siya napa-oo para ipabasa sa kanya ang isang Man to Man themed story. Walang kahirap hirap ko siyang napa-Yes to my surprise. Ang iniisip ko na lang is siguro naging mabait kaming mag-asawa sa kanya sa family niya during those times they had financial problem. Kami ni hubby ang nag-rescue in terms of financial.
"I'm done reading since yesterday pa. So, what's next?" sabi naman ni Sir Eduardo, which is the third jury. His real name is Eduardo Reyes, 45 years old, a blogger and a film critique. He was not that popular bilang isang kritiko but he captured my attention because napakagaling niyang magkriticize ng film, napaka objective compared sa mga nagsulputang kritiko na walang kasubstance-substance mag-judge. I told him that I'm a fan of his blog. Limampung porsyento ng blog niya ay food, tatlumpung porsyento ay travel and the remaining is movie review etc.
These three people are totally different and I believe makakakuha ako ng maayos na feedback coming from them. Siya nga pala, as I also mentioned, they are going to give me an opinion sa Man to Man themed novel na ginawa ko. This challenged me for months habang sinusulat ko 'to because ang hirap makakuha ng inspirasyon sa ganitong klaseng tema. Dumugo talaga 'yung utak ko, at ang malupit, this story is based on true events. Yes it's true! True nga diba? Oh well, I know it's hard to believe but come on! One needs to research what's the meaning of 'Based on a true story'.
Malapit na rin ang deadline ko to pass the draft sa boss ko sa publishing. Her name is Sarah Trinidad and she's a bit demanding.
"I truly appreciate all of you na tapusing basahin ang story ko," I said nang bigla akong putulin ni Amy.
"Maganda na sana, kaya lang bakit bitin? Are you serious Alex? Parang hindi naman natapos ang story e?"
"Oo nga Alex," pagsang-ayon naman ni James. "Anong nangyari sa mga characters? Kay Alex? Kina Mick at Jace? Parang wala namang ending?"
Mapait akong ngumiti sa kanila. It is my intention na hindi sabihin sa kanila na hindi pa tapos ang libro. Baka kase hindi ako maka tanggap ng honest feedback kapag sinabi ko sa kanilang hindi pa 'yun tapos.
"True, it's not yet done," sagot ko. "Pero 'yun naman talaga ang reason kung bakit ko hiningi ang serbisyo niyong tatlo na basahin ang first ever Man to Man themed story na ginawa ko. Gusto kong malaman if I should push this through, or.... 'wag na lang kase wala rin namang saysay. Mga ganun."
"Naku Bestie! Pinreasure ka nanaman ba ni Bossing?" pagtukoy ni Amy sa bossing namin sa publishing. "Naku naku, remember part-time mo lang ang gumawa ng story. You have nothing to lose at wag kang ma-pressure. Echosera naman siya! Ang hirap naman ng pinagagawa sayo no!"
Napangiti na lang ako sa komento ni Amy. Ginusto ko naman ito at the first place kaya there's no turning back. Oo mahirap talagang gawin ito pero I was decided to widen my scope as a writer. I've been writing for how many years already na ang tema ay 'Heterosexual relationships'. I'm not complaining pero gusto ko naman makagawa ng story from the other side of the world. And luckily, this Man to Man themed story is very relevant to my life.
"Okay Bestie ako muna ang mauna," Amy raised her hand to volunteer. "Maganda siya infairness. Kakaiba 'yung atake ng romance ng lalaki sa lalaki. Hindi masyadong 'Bakla' ang approach kahit na babaeng bakla ka sa tunay na buhay!" bigla akong napatawa sa sinabi niya. "At nagawa mo pang ilagay ang pangalan mo sa libro. It was so you! But I doubt ikaw talaga 'to sa tunay na buhay."
"Maganda 'yung twist... something unexpected! Akalain mo 'yun? Ang trato nila sa isa't isa ay kaaway pero sa bandang huli, para lang silang mga timang dahil wala naman talaga silang kaaway? They are victims of circumstances. Medyo napapanahon kapag nilagay mo sa reality."
"Thank you Bestie, yun lang?"
"Oo Alex 'yun lang. Nag-iisip pa ako!"
Gusto kong pektusan 'tong si Amy sa totoo lang. I'm expecting that she'll look a little bit deeper with the story pero parang napaka 'plain' lang ng pagkaka-review niya. May gusto akong marinig mula sa kanya na tingin ko'y hinahalukay pa lang niya mula sa napaka liberated niyang utak.
"Alex!" James raised his hand. "So, sabi mo pwede kaming magsabi ng opinyon... negative or positive?"
"Sure! I'm also accepting violent reactions James."
"Sorry Alex pero hindi talaga ako kritiko pero parang....."
"Pero parang...?"
"Parang.... ang hirap paniwalaan?"
Napangiti ako dahil this is something na I'm expecting from him. I hired him dahil 'Straight' siya at gusto kong makuha ang opinyon niya dahil the story itself will challenge him about Straight to Straight relationships.
"Alex, para kaseng... Oo naiintindihan ko 'yung confusion nila kung bakit napamahal sila sa isa't isa. Pero as a straight guy, I found it hard to believe na... pwede silang mafall in love in just a matter of 15 days or less? Napaka unrealistic! They started as enemies, yung tipong napaka opposite nila sa isa't isa. Pero during the course of the mission, they ended up sharing their emotions, that weird love. I understand na binigyan mo ng emphasis/reasons kung bakit nag-eexist yung ganung klaseng emotion pero... It's way beyond human comprehension."
That was an intelligent analysis coming from James. It only means na he's paying attention sa binabasa niya. Alam ko kung paano or ano ang isusulat ko pero gusto ko talagang marinig sa kanila na dinidispute nila yung logical sense ng story.
"I have to agree with James, Alex," biglang sabi ni Sir Eduardo. "Walang 'Straight' ang babaluktot ng ilang araw. And base sa sinabi mo before na pinabasa mo ang story sa 'min.... THIS IS BASED FROM FACTS. When we say fact, it did happen! Unless you are just being exaggerated with how you present the story?"
Wooh! Napahingang malalim ako dun ah? Is it some kind of debate? Well, I'm battle ready.
"Yes! It is based on a true story. But kahit based ito sa 'true' story, I presented it in a manner na entertaining pa rin sa makakabasa. Both characters fell in love in less than 15 days, and they are straight," I explained.
"How come?" tanong muli ni Sir Eduardo. "I'm puzzled Alex.... kaninong istorya galing ang istoryang 'to para sabihin mong based on facts? Do you have documentations? Any interviews coming from the people behind this story?"
Biglang bumilis ang takbo ng puso ko. There is something that I need not to tell them, but they are already digging deeper. Hindi ko alam ang isasagot ko dahil napaka confidential ng maaari kong sabihin, and it's a big No-No. All I want is to know their opinyon sa namuong romance ng main characters but not to the point na they are questioning the veracity of the story.
"This story came from someone na malapit sa 'kin.... na hindi ko pwedeng i-disclose due to privacy," I secretly denied. "Before kong gawin 'yan, I already did my assignments. I did personally talk to the person involved in the story. Did a background research sa mismong plot and I came up with a story that's something unusual. You may not believe some of the scenes na nilagay ko sa istoryang 'yan, but the core elements, such as the events, the themes, and the main personae, serve as representations of real people involved in the plot."
"I understand your point of view Mrs. Alex Peregrino, but your story has a more fictional atmosphere than it's being real. The plot itself is contrived including the emotions of the characters. How can we believe the plot if the emotions of the characters are also questionable?.... and we're talking about not just the distance.... BUT ALSO TIME! If you know what I mean?"
Ang harsh naman nitong Sir Eduardo na 'to. I take negative feedback as constructive na rin but his is.... Grrrrrr!!!
He continued. "The point is... you are trying to make us believe that they are still straight despite of their gay gestures. Am I correct?"
"Tama ka Sir. I want you to believe that they are still straight kahit nagkainlaban sila," I said with confidence.
"And that defeats the purpose of the story!" he added.
The opinion exchange became a heated debate. Nakakatakot pala itong si Sir Eduardo. I understand him naman dahil he's credible in my book, but he also needs to understand na base talaga ito sa tunay na buhay. I'm now challenging him using my mind.
"Hindi ko pwedeng sabihing it defeats the purpose Sir where in fact, base talaga ito sa real events. There is something that I cannot explain to you but if your question is about the 'TIMING', who knows when will be the exact time to fall in love? In this case.... it's a Man to Man love. Are there any rules in love? Does it matter if it requires time? Does it matter if it's something to do with the gender?"
"You're not making any sense Alex, I'm sorry!" dagdag muli ni Sir Eduardo. "To tell you honestly, you are a good Author! By just reading this story, you almost make me believe that this kind of love exists. But now, It turned out as a disappointment because..... you made me feel na 'gawa-gawa' mo lang ang story na 'to. Merong ka mang nilagay na tunay na nangyari, pero mas marami pa rin ang hindi. Like the romance in less than 15 days. Where's the balance?"
I grinned. I know that deep in my heart I balanced the story that I wrote. Hindi ko lang maexpress sa tamang pananalita ang gusto kong sabihin dahil limitado lang ang pwede kong masabi sa kanila.
"I balanced the story, and I appreciate if you noticed a major loophole to it. I'll consider revising some parts but I do believe that I did everything to make this believable. EVEN THOUGH THIS KIND OF RELATIONSHIP IS INVISIBLE TO SOCIETY."
"Kahit anong mangyari... kahit pa ilagay natin ang elementong 'TIME' PREFERENCE' 'DISTANCE' ETC. This kind of relationships are unseen, unfelt.... because the people involved chose to be INVISIBLE. If they chose to appear, they will be judged. Anything in between are unbelievable... IMPOSSIBLE... UNREASONABLE and worst... IMMORAL. I'm proud to say that I wrote based on true events, and I don't want to stretch how it means."
Nakita kong napasalubong ang kilay ni Sir Eduardo. Hindi ko alam kung natamaan siya sa sinabi ko, naliwanagan o lalong hindi sumang-ayon sa sinabi ko. 'Yun lang ang kaya kong i-share sa kanila dahil ang real purpose naman talaga ng meeting na 'to is kung ico-continue ko pa ba ang story.
I continued. "The ending was not yet written.... Dahil I don't know kung kaya ko pa itong tapusin. Pero dahil sa komento niyo, I don't know... what do you think guys?"
Amy raised her hand again. "Bestie, sorry pero... I think kailangan mong magstick sa tunay na story. I agree sa sinabi ni Sir Eduardo, paano ka papaniwalaan kung hindi kapani-paniwala ang story mo? Sorry pero kailangan mong irevise ang story kung gusto mo talaga itong ipublish. The plot doesn't match the emotions of the characters."
"Sorry rin Alex pero your story is a bit confusing," komento naman ni James. "I think you need to stick to your own element. You're good in writing straight stories. Maybe, this Man to Man thing is not my cup of tea. But I can consider the lessons in it... but it's unlikely that it could happen."
**
Hindi ko na pinatagal ang pag-uusap regarding the exchanges of reviews. It's already evident na they are not believing on the story. All of them! So ang ginawa ko na lang.... I gave them a small brown envelope with a piece of white paper inside. My final question to them was.... should I continue, or not? I know the answer pero gusto ko pa ring malaman in the form of writing.
Nandito ako ngayon sa valcony ng bintana namin sa loob ng kwarto habang sinusulyapan ang maliwanag na buwan. I'm holding the three brown envelopes. Theses envelopes are words of discouragement, but part of me is saying na kahit isa sa kanila'y may mag- eencourage sa 'kin at naniniwala sa kwento ko.
It's been 18 years nang mangyari ang Adventure na 'yun. I smiled when I recalled it. Trivia: (Zanmiks and Jace) are not the real names of the two protagonists, and this is for privacy purposes. Pag nalaman nilang tatlo yung tunay na pangalan ng mga characters e baka makasira pa ako ng buhay ng may buhay hehe.
"Hi Hon! Hindi ka pa ba matutulog?"
Bigla akong niyakap ng asawa ko sa aking likuran at pasimple akong hinalikan sa leeg. My goodness, tanda ko na pero kinikilig pa rin ako sa kanya, forever na talaga itong pagkakilig ko sa kanya. I was married to my dream guy... and his name is JOAQUIN! Yes, he's JOAQUIN! The handsome one, not the UGLY ONE.
He's a part of the rollercoaster, but destiny still finds way for us to be together... FOREVER.
And regarding kay UGLY JOAQUIN. I have to say that.... he's just a fruit of my imagination. To make a comic approach with the story. Wala talagang nag-eexist na PALAKA sa tunay na buhay, ginawa ko lang 'yun para magkaroon ng kaasaran si ALEX.... which is me sa story. Siya lang talaga yung character na hindi nag-exist.... pero I'm happy atleast nagkaroon sila kahit papaano ni ALEX kahit sa story man lang.
"Hindi ka pa natutulog hon?" I said.
"Gusto kitang katabi e... tara na tulog na tayo?"
"Sige susunod na ako. Wait lang ha, give me 3 minutes...."
"Okay... bilisan mo ah?"
"O sure... Mama will eat you alive!" malandi ko nanamang pagkakasabi sa kanya. Magaling ako maneduce e!
Pumasok muli si Joaquin sa room, at inisa-isa ko na ang mga brown envelope. Inuna ko yung kay James... at ang nakasulat ay NO! Hmmm... hindi siya boting icontinue ang story, at off course... hindi siya naniniwala! Next is yung kay Amy.... siya lang talaga yung pag-asa ko for encouragement since bestie kami pero pag open ko ng envelop..... ang nakalagay ay.... NO!!! SORRY SIS!
Yung kay Sir Eduardo na lang ang hindi ko pa nabubuksan. Ano pa nga bang inaasahan ko? Sigurado NO na ito. Binuksan ko ang sobre without any expectation but to my surprise, napalaki ang bunganga ko sa nabasa ko.....
"YES! I BELIEVE IN THE STORY. CONTINUE TO WRITE THE ENDING. MAKE IT BEST, IF NOT.... MAKE IT BELIEVABLE" :)
Uti