Gone. As soon as that bomb was activated, the attic exploded. Everyone out on the exercise yard barely had time to scream before the blast hit them. The buildings on the base sprayed rocks and rubble in every direction. Dust and smoke scattered up into the sky, surrounding the affected area in black. The impact knocked Dante off his feet and we fell into the dust. The sound was deafening. As I lay on my side in the dust, all I could hear was a high-pitched ringing.
However, I noticed almost none of that.
All I saw was Alex turning his back on me and walking towards the attic. He hated me. He died hating me. I'd never get to tell him I was sorry or beg for his forgiveness. All he wanted was to forget everything as soon as possible. He'd truly given up. He chose death because he didn't want to suffer through the pain of forgiving me. It didn't matter who pressed the button. In the end, I killed my own brother.
"Alex! Alex!" I shrieked. I bumped into Dante on my way up. I turned my head to see he had shielded me when we fell. I pushed him off and stumbled towards the remains of Delta base 2. "Alex!" I cried out again, my voice cracking. My knees gave way underneath me and I collapsed in a heap on the ground. Dust curled up around me. Their clouds weren't unlike the smoke that billowed up from my old home. I felt my entire body go cold. Like a flame in my heart was flickering out.
I reached into the waistband of my pants and withdrew the pistol I'd hidden there. My hands were shaking so much, I wasn't sure I'd be able to aim properly. My vision was blurry from my tears and the gun suddenly felt extremely heavy. I disregarded it all and pointed it at my heart. There. Now I couldn't possibly miss. Just as my finger was finding the trigger, I was knocked sideways. Dante tried to wrestle the pistol from me. I held on tightly. I wouldn't let this happen again. "Rose! Let go!" He barked, untangling my fingers. I shook my head stubbornly, readjusting my grip. He groaned and kicked me in the stomach. I coughed and relinquished the gun. Satisfied, Dante opened the chamber and tipped the ammo into his pocket then threw the gun on the ground. Then he walked up to me and offered a hand.
I wanted to be angry. I really did. However, at that moment, I felt nothing. I wasn't dead but I may as well have been. I slapped away Dante's hand and got up myself. However, looking around I realised there was nowhere for me to go except back to the other Runners. "Rose?" Dante said. I tensed up, every fibre in my body ready to attack. Once he got close enough to touch my shoulder, I whipped around and pushed him away. He stumbled backwards onto the ground. I stood over him glaring, my chest heaving. Somehow, I still felt nothing. My expression was just a mask for my emptiness. I waited for him to get up again. Dante looked up at me and sighed. His face cleared of all emotion, leaving a dead look staring back at me. He got up and I went to push him again but he just stepped to the side. I clenched my fists then turned to attack him again. I threw a punch but he grabbed my arm and twisted it. It was painful but I just kneed him in the stomach and he let go. With him doubling over, I went to bring down a foot on his back but caught it and threw me into the dust.
"Enough," he said firmly. I screamed in feigned rage but he ignored it. "I know you're not angry, Rose. I know you too well." I stopped immediately and just glared. "You've know me for a year. Stevie's known me for ten and Alex knew me for almost my entire life," I snarled. He just rolled his eyes. "But could they read you like I can?" He asked coldly. I shut my mouth and frowned. He let go of my ankle and I wrapped my arms around myself. My body had lost all its warmth. I brought my knees in, curling up into a ball. I could feel Dante's firm stare melt into concern. After a while, he slid his arms under my back and legs and picked me up. I let my head flop forward. There was no point fighting him. I couldn't win.
Dante walked for almost an hour, carrying me the entire time. By the time we made it back to the others, Wings had fallen back asleep. They were all on the ground leaning against the truck. Drifter was the first to see us. He jumped up looking relieved. Prince glanced up at Dante. "You came back," he said, sounding almost surprised. "I never left," Dante replied apathetically. Prince sighed, his mouth twitching slightly. "What happened?" He asked. Dante stared off into the distance. "She pressed the button. I don't think she intended on coming back but I wasn't about to let that happen," he murmured. Prince didn't look convinced. He folded his arms and towered over me. "Pinks. Why are you being all mopey?" He asked half-heartedly. I didn't want to lie. I wouldn't stoop as low as these guys. "Alex died hating me," I mumbled. "I destroyed him."
Prince scoffed. "That's good enough, I guess," he tutted. Under any other circumstances, I would've reacted violently. However, there was nothing to react to since all I heard was words. Prince walked towards the truck and opened the driver's door. "Let's get going. Drifter, wake up Wings," he said then climbed into his seat. Drifter kneeled down and tapped Wing's right shoulder. He jolted awake and looked around. When he saw Dante holding me, he scrambled to his feet. "Oh thank goodness you two are okay!" He cried in relief. Dante tried to pull up the corners of his mouth but failed. He passed me on to Drifter. "Take care of her," he said quietly. Drifter nodded. Wings looked from me to Dante then sighed. He opened the passenger door and climbed into the back seat. Drifter carried me over to the truck and put me in the middle next to Wings. Then he climbed in and sat on my right. Dante got in last and shut the door. Prince started the vehicle and we drove away at top speed.
I had curled myself into a ball again, trying to push myself into the seat as much as possible. I'd left my seatbelt off to make it easier. Dante kept looking back at me regularly. When he saw I hadn't moved, he'd just return to leaning on his hand and staring out the window. Wings sat awkwardly, trying to stop the seatbelt from touching his left shoulder. Drifter sat up straight with his arms folded across his chest. Prince was talking at all of us but I don't think we were listening. The landscape hadn't changed much except it had gotten a lot more rocky and I could see the ocean. It was my first time seeing it and yet it was just a giant puddle of water to me. "Pinks!" Prince shouted and I jolted. I glanced up at him. "Did you hear what I said?" He snapped. I rested my head on my knees. Suddenly, the vehicle swerved and I was thrown sideways. My head hit Drifter's lap. "That should wake you up," he continued. Dante glared at Prince. "Was that really necessary?" He growled. Prince turned back on his original path and sighed. "I won't repeat myself again so listen up: Once this truck runs out of gas, we're taking a break for about an hour then we're running the rest. I don't want you bothering the others but I'll become very unpopular if I kill you. Besides, Steven's waiting for you. You don't want to disappoint him, do you?" He finished. My eyes widened. Stevie. How could I ever face him after what I'd done? Would he even recognise me? My stomach churned. I didn't want to find out. I pushed off my chair and leapt through the broken windscreen. As soon as Prince saw me, he immediately slammed on the brakes. I hit the bonnet and stopped. I had expected to roll off under the vehicle but someone had grabbed me. I craned my neck to find Drifter had jumped after me and grabbed my leg. He looked up at me and gave me a pained smile. "What the hell are you two doing?" Prince shouted. Drifter dragged me back into the truck and put me in his seat. He gave Prince an apologetic look then sat down in the middle. I curled back up into a ball and closed my eye. As Prince started driving again, he told off me and Drifter for being stupid.
Once Prince had finished venting, he didn't talk for the rest of the drive. We lapsed into an uncomfortable silence with only the sound of the engine shuddering in the background. I rested my chin on my knees. With nothing else to do, I observed the musty brown interior of the vehicle. This was what Stevie saw as he made his way to Bravo base 9. Turner would've leaned out the passenger side to throw up when he got motion sickness. They all would've been talking and laughing together, excited to be going somewhere outside Delta 2. Stevie would've been the centre of attention, I was sure. Was he thinking about me during the drive? Was he thinking up prank ideas for me to do? The idea comforted me and for the first time that day, I was able to smile.
When I awoke, I had a horrible pain in my neck. I tried to massage it but that did nothing. We had stopped by a cliff edge looking onto the water. Judging by the brightness of the sun, it was around 1500. Prince stepped out with the backpack Drifter had brought. He turned and leaned in through the window. "Someone keep an eye on Pinks. First chance she gets, I bet she'll leap off this thing," he said half-jokingly. Dante opened his door and exited as well. "Didn't have to give her the idea," he muttered darkly. I almost laughed. The idea had been in my head since I first saw the ocean. Despite my efforts recruit training in secret, I didn't start early enough to join in the swimming exercises conducted off base. I don't think I'd have had the guts to try sneak off with them anyway. The exercises were cancelled due to our loss of watercraft according to Alex. I clutched my chest. It hurt to think about him. Wings nudged me, making me lose my train of thought. "We have to go now. The truck's out of fuel," he said gently. I acknowledged him with a small nod then pulled myself into the front seat.
Outside, it was quite windy. My hair whipped me in the face as I took in the sight of the vast waters. Underneath my feet was still sand and dust but every so often, I'd see a tiny blade of green peek out of the ground. I crouched down by one and admired its vibrant colour.
"What is it, never seen grass before?" Prince asked. At first I thought he was just being rude but he had crouched down with me to look at it as well. It was a genuine question, not a hint of malice in his words. I opened my mouth but closed it again. He took no notice and continued. "Surprisingly, it's happened quite a lot to the people I've taken in. For some, it was their first time seeing people with morals. For others like you, it was just seeing a colour outside monochrome," he said wistfully. When I didn't respond, he got up and reached into the backpack. He pulled out a can and a spoon and held it out to me. "Take your time. We're running the rest but it's not too far. We'll make it before the next day, I'm certain," he said. I took the items and got up to sit on the cliff edge. I heard shuffling behind me and Dante appeared to sit next to me.
I cracked open my can and began scooping out the contents. It tasted like nothing but it was my first meal of the day. Dante copied me with his can and we ate in silence. I thought he was just keeping an eye on me but as soon as he finished eating, he started talking. "Rose?" He said. "You've been awfully quiet the entire trip. Then you, well, you know," he trailed off. I stared at him in disgust then turned back to my can. He cradled his own in his hands then continued. "Is there anything I can do for you?" I ignored him, dipping my spoon in and shovelling food in my mouth. Dante sighed. "I'm really sorry for what I've done. I'll understand if you don't forgive me but I still want to be at least friends," he murmured. I turned slightly so my back was facing him. I couldn't see his expression but he got up and walked away, leaving his can behind. I turned back to see it was only half empty. Once I finished my own, I waited for a minute before taking his food.
Ah jeez. Rosie, eat this.
I spat out the food in my mouth. My hand twitched, releasing the can from my grip. My stomach erupted in pain and I held it tightly. Wincing, I glanced down at the can rolling by my leg. In one swift motion, I plucked it off the ground and threw it as far as I could into the ocean. It broke the surface of the water with a splash. My body began to shiver involuntarily. I bit down on my hand to stop myself from screaming. Was this what mourning felt like? I inched forward, my legs dangling off the edge of the cliff. I was scared that he'd stay and haunt me forever. It'd be a lot better if I just ended it now.
Suddenly, a heavy hand landed on my shoulder. I jumped and looked up. Elijah was staring down at me, his mouth twisted into a frown. I slid backwards so all of my body was on solid ground. Satisfied, he let go and sat down next to me. After a few moments of silence, I unexpectedly spoke up. "Sorry," I stuttered. He looked over at me in surprise. "I'm not apologising for nothing; I really think I was going to jump," I replied. He just smiled a sympathetic smile. He knew exactly how I felt. Losing a brother and blaming yourself not because you put the knife in but because you gave them the knife in the first place. However, Drifter's mistake was nowhere near as awful as mine. My body went cold again and I hugged myself. Drifter watched me for a bit then moved closer. Without a word, he reached out and wrapped his arms around me. His warm embrace seemed familiar, although I had never felt it before. From that one action, I knew we walked the same path. It was one filled with guilt and regret that would never cease to hurt.
The sun was heading west when Prince approached us. Drifter and I looked back at him then moved apart. The wind immediately blew away the warmth I was given. "It's time to go," Prince said. I got to my feet then held out a hand for Drifter. He stared at my hand for a moment, smirked but took it anyway. It seemed a little ridiculous but I was sure he understood the gesture. Prince drank out of a bottle he'd pulled out of the backpack then passed it to me. I downed a quarter of it then passed it to Drifter, who finished it off. We put our litter through the broken windscreen of the car. I took the backpack and slung it over my shoulder. It was light but still had some weight from its contents. Prince started jogging then slowly built up to a run. We trailed behind him, Dante and Wings appearing as we passed the truck.
Night had fallen and we were still running. I had passed on the bag to Dante earlier and he was throwing out water bottle to those who needed it. I kept falling in the darkness but luckily Drifter kept pulling me up before I fell behind. Eventually, Prince grew tired of my clumsiness and had Dante pass him a head lamp. "How difficult is it to just step where I step?" Prince complained as he switched on the light. I rolled my eyes. It was because the ground wasn't stable. Even if I stood exactly where he did, I still would've fallen.
We finally stopped running when the sand met the water. I bent over, huffing and puffing. Dante held out a bottle for me and I downed the entire thing. The moon barely reflected on the surface of the ocean. If it was any dimmer, I would've thought it was a cloud. Prince burrowed in the backpack and pulled out something small and red. I stumbled backwards and hit Wings, who caught my shoulders and steadied me. I stared at the item for a minute before realising it was just a flare gun. "They shouldn't be too far," Prince muttered as he placed a cap into it. Holding it high above his head, he pulled the trigger. There was a bang and a red light shot out into the sky. Prince scanned the horizon. After a minute or two, a green flare illuminated itself. Prince followed its projectile and smiled. "They're about an hour away and there's a dock south from here. Let's go," he said, leading the way. We walked across the sand until we came to a wooden dock that jutted out a fair way into the ocean. We stepped out onto it and sat down to empty the sand that had collected in our shoes. Despite the fact that I was cold, the bumpy surface beneath me was uncomfortable to sit on. I unzipped my jacket and used it as a chair.
An hour had passed and the thing Prince was expecting hadn't arrived yet. My head flopped sideways again and again as I fought to stay awake. Eventually, I started pinching myself periodically which worked a lot better than willpower alone. Prince suddenly got to his feet and stared off into the distance. "They're here," he smiled. I followed his line of sight to see a large black watercraft heading towards us. From its silhouette, I could tell it was stacked with a couple of shipping containers near its rear. Looking closer, there was also a tiny room high up where the driver sat. As it approached, it slowed down until it came to a complete stop right next to us. A plank of wood lowered itself onto the dock and a few people walked down it to greet us.
"Prince!" One of them cried, rolling the 'r' in Prince's name. It was a chubby man with brown stubble and a flat grey hat. He took Prince's hand and shook it enthusiastically. "It's been so long and yet you're still skinny! You know what they said at my home? People aren't dogs, they don't like bones," The man laughed. I raised an eyebrow. Prince just laughed at the man's comment. Wouldn't he normally get angry?
"Always good to see you again, Vasily," Prince replied. The other man approached as well and bowed his head slightly. When he turned to look at the Runners, his eyes rested on me. He said something strange I couldn't understand. Prince glanced at me then spoke back in the same strange way. They continued their foreign exchange as they lead the way up the wooden plank. Wings and Drifter followed without a second thought but Dante didn't move. I looked back at him. "You first," he said, waving his arm dismissively. I scowled and walked up the plank.
On the watercraft, Wings immediately went down some stairs into an opening. A light shone from below the deck. Drifter turned towards the stack of shipping containers. A little girl with red hair tied back into a plait stood by them, sorting through some boxes piled up in one of the open containers. As soon as she saw Drifter, she screamed and ran forward and hugged him then started chatting wildly. I turned around and saw Dante pulling in the plank with the help of another stranger. Once it was in, the stranger ran off. Dante came up to me and pointed towards the stairs. "You can go down there if you want. There are beds if you're tired or stuff like cards if you're bored," he said. I walked across the deck, my shoes thumping against the hard surface. I grabbed onto the metal handrail and slowly made my way down the steps.
Inside the watercraft was bright and cosy. The small room was entirely white with small round windows across the walls. There were three doors on the other side of the room. I assumed one had beds, another was a bathroom and the last was a cooking area. A few light bulbs dotted the ceiling, illuminating the single table in the centre. Chairs of all different sizes and textures were placed randomly around the area and a large wooden rack was nailed to one of the walls. On its shelves were random objects. I didn't recognise many of them. The only things I could put a name to were the cards Dante spoke of, a box of nuts and bolts and a row of books. I turned away from the shelf immediately. I bolted through one of the doors on the other side of the room to reveal rows of beds. Wings lay on one of them, scratching something with a pencil into a notebook. He glanced at me in the entrance and sat up. "Don't worry, it's a communal room. You can sleep in any of the beds. Except for that one," he said, pointing at one behind the door. "That's Prince's. He'll throw you into the ocean if he knew you slept in his bed. I'm not joking, he has done it," he said as I stared disbelievingly. I shut the door behind me and walked down to the very end of the room. I sat down on one of the beds and removed my shoes and jacket. I lay down on my side and covered myself with the blanket. Wings had left the light on so I untied my bandanna and wrapped it around my eye. It was only moments until I blacked out.
I found myself running around the prison block, trying to find the Runner's cell. However, all I could find were people from Delta base 2. They all looked up at me with disgust, shouting insults from behind the bars. I ran faster, trying to block out what they were saying. The soldiers rattled the cell doors, reaching out to grab me. I narrowly avoided their outstretched hands. I darted around a corner and ran straight into someone. My mother looked down at me, tearstains streaked across her cheeks. She wrapped a bony hand around my wrist and dragged me down the hall. I yelled and thrashed as her blonde hair morphed into a black veil. The nun stopped and turned towards me, picking me up off the ground and holding me out of a window. I called out for help as loud as I could. Another figure appeared behind the nun. It came forward and stepped out the window, walking on air towards me. It only had one eye but I'd recognise that face anywhere. "Alex!" I cried in relief. "Help me!" Alex smiled and laughed. "Why should I? I don't even know who you are." My eyes widened. "It's me, Rosie. I'm your sister remember?" He just laughed again. "Liar. I don't have a sister. Why are you trying to escape from my prison?" I shook my head frantically. "I wasn't escaping, I was looking for my friends!" Suddenly, one-eyed Alex started glaring. "I know why you went to prison. You were a thief, weren't you?" I was confused and horrified. "What are you talking about?" I asked. Alex reached forward as he spoke. "I'll be taking that back now," he snarled as he dug out my left eye.
I sat up straight in my bed. I ripped off the bandanna but the room was engulfed in darkness. Sweat dripped from my forehead and my hands wouldn't stop shaking. I sat in the black room until my eye had adjusted. I could hear the waves crashing onto the side of the watercraft. It reminded me of the rain that drummed on my window back at home, but louder. From my bed, I could see several people had come into the room and now almost every bed was taken except for Prince's. Quietly, I slipped on my shoes and jacket and retied my bandanna onto my head. I treaded softly across the room, making sure not to wake any of the sleepers. I felt around for the door knob and twisted it. Outside, the white room was empty. I closed the door and made my way to the stairs.
On the deck, Prince was at the front with a group of people. They all seemed to be talking happily, the strong wind and crashing waves not bothering them at all. Drifter, Dante and the little girl were nowhere to be seen. They were probably asleep downstairs. I went around to the right side of the watercraft and peered over the edge. It was a fair drop into the ocean but I didn't care. Anything to escape from this madness would do. I took a deep breath then threw myself overboard.
I hit the water with a giant splash. Immediately, the waves crashed over me, spinning my body around and around. It was extremely cold and dark and I couldn't breathe. My body sunk lower and lower, my drenched clothes acting as a weight. I coughed involuntarily and water entered my mouth. Suddenly, this seemed like a painfully terrible idea. I thrashed about underwater, trying to break the surface but to no avail. I was disoriented and it was too dark to see anything. My chest burned from the salty water. I stopped thrashing and lay still, accepting my fate.
There was a splash next to me as something else rocketed into the ocean. It swam weakly towards me and wrapped itself around my waist. I had no energy to struggle. It pulled me up and my head popped out into the air. I spluttered, expelling water from my nose and mouth. I could hear yelling and screaming from above me. I went to look up but my head was so heavy that it caused the rest of my body to roll back into the ocean. I accidentally inhaled and the water seared my lungs. I coughed repeatedly but it just let in more water. I stopped moving altogether, letting the sea take me away in its cold, wet arms.
Air rushed into my chest. Someone was pinching my nose and blowing air through my mouth. I sat up hurriedly and vomited seawater all over the deck. My head felt light and I fell backwards onto someone's lap. Prince, Dante, Wings and a few of the people from the watercraft looked down on me. "She's alive," one of the strangers said. Everyone looked relieved except for Prince. He glared down at me, making me flinch. Without a word, he took my arm and pulled me up. I was dragged across the deck, down the stairs and into the white room. He threw me down on one of the chairs then folded his arms. Wings and Dante came down quickly as well.
"WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?" Prince screamed. I cowered in my chair. I averted my eye to the floor, preparing myself for a lecture. He hollered on about how I terrified the crew, caused a massive state of panic and how stupid I was. It went on and on and all I could do was shrink further into my chair. By the time he'd finished, the first rays of sunlight were streaming through one of the circular windows.
"That's it, I've had enough," Prince said for the fourth time. "I don't know what to do with you Pinks. I can't kill you, I can't keep you alive without scaring the crap out of everyone around you. Goddammit, you're worse than a bloody toddler. At least they know not to throw themselves into the water without knowing how to swim!" I shivered, pulling my jacket tighter around my body. Prince threw his hands up in the air and groaned. "Dogs, she's your responsibility. Take her to the sleeping area and make sure she stays there until we arrive at land. If you get sick of her, use this," he barked, shoving a pistol into Dante's chest. Then he stormed back out onto the deck. Dante sighed and rubbed his eyelids. To my surprise, he was completely dry. On the other hand, Wings was saturated from head to toe. He even had left a puddle of water on the floor. I stared at him in disbelief. He started squeezing the water from his hair, shivering from something a lot worse than hypothermia. "Please don't ever make me do that again," he shuddered. I gaped, unsure of how to respond. In the end, I gulped and nodded at him. Wings stared back then turned and went through the second door on the other side of the room. I knew he understood what I meant.
"Let's go Rose, before Prince comes back and starts yelling again," Dante said quietly. I let him lead me into the sleeping area and back to my bed at the end of the room. Opposite my bed, he opened a drawer and took out a towel and some spare clothes. Without looking, he threw them at me over his shoulder. I stripped off my soaked clothes and dried off, putting on the ones Dante had thrown. I left my sodden outfit on the floor and climbed back under the covers. Dante turned around and sat on the edge of my bed. "So this is what it has to come to," he mumbled. From the way he sat with one leg crossed over the other, I realised he had no intention of moving from that spot. I rested my head against the pillow and stared up at the ceiling. There was absolutely no way I was going back to sleep. Not with Alex haunting me and Dante sitting by my feet.