[ if you have a playlist where there were lots of sad songs there, I suggest you put it on shuffle bc this chap is so agdjsklaj when u r listening to sad songs. it's a must try!!! ]
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{Jungkook's POV}
Her mom and the others went to look for abother hospital as a back up if something bad happens to Haneul.
I went towards the door and quietly peeked through the circular glass window. I saw her, still sleeping like a princess that was usually seen only in fairytale stories. She slept as if there's no tomorrow; as if no one was waiting for her. Why is she like this? Why does she keep on making me feel this way? I don't know if it's something that would make me smile or cry.
Haneul-ah, I miss you. Can't you come back as quickly as possible? I don't think I can still endure the pain if this lasts for another day. Everyone's waiting, come and open up your eyes already!
"You're gonna wake up later, right?" I said as a nurse went by and asked me if I wanted to come in. I nodded with a huge smile and entered the room.
"You can stay here for only a short time," she said as I again nodded. She left for a while to give me some time to look after Haneul.
I went closer to her and gently held her fragile hands. I stroke her cheeks and touched her pale lips. I stared at her pretty face, like how I did back then. I can still remember how annoyed she was and even scolded me for looking at her as if she was a kimchi.
Tsk, this cutiepie, you're a lot more delicious than a kimchi!
"Ahh, you look like a zombie. Aish, so ugly" I said and waiting for her to react.
Unfortunately, she didn't. Her eyes were shut as if it was made to be closed forever. However, I'm still hoping she would open it and would continue to see the greatest things in life.
"Remember when I hugged you because you had a blood stain on your skirt? And then you quickly pushed me away because you had think of a way to get rid of it? Tsk, what a total genius," I said and gave her another look.
She was still, but it seems like she was listening. So, I continued to tell more stories; thinking that maybe she wanted to hear more.
"How about when your mom invited me for dinner? I can't stop my eyes from looking at you from the time you came out of your room, wearing that simple mint-colored sweater. That was the time I realized how pretty you were. And I admit that, that was the time I fell in love with you," I held her hands tighter.
"I was actually scared of falling in love with you because Jimin liked you so much. He wanted to date you so bad. But I can't help it, you're getting very irresistible each day. I can't stop myself from staring at you."
"Everytime I look at you, my heart would race and the world seemed to stop for a moment. I was mesmerized by your beauty, and it makes me want to have you. I wanted to make you mine. That I didn't care if someone's getting hurt because of it, and maybe that's why Hyungki had gained too much pain,"
I kissed her forehead and smiled.
"It's okay though? Because, I don't really care. As long as I have you, Jungha, Bangtan, your friends, and my family with me. I have nothing to be afraid of. You were my strength, so if one of you were hurtㅡor disappear, I don't know how am I still going to continue my life. Especially you,"
Her warm hands calmed me. I was praying that its warmth wouldn't fade; that she wouldn't fade.
"You know what? When I knew that I had a cancer, I was thinking that you should be the first one to know about it because I thought that you would really be a good doctor. Like, when I'm upset, I would just call you and I'll feel happy. When I'm stressed because of too much studying, I would visit you and I'll feel relaxed. When I think that I'm used of hanging out with bangtan, I'd go and walk with you for the whole day and I'll feel better,"
I paused as the tears came out.
"But then, something came up on my mind. Questions started to pop out and it made me uneasy. What if you would get tired? What if you had spent too much time for me that you had forgotten the people around you? What if you stopped all the things you loved doing the most because of me? So I chose to keep it only to the people I know that were strong enough to endure it. Because I don't want you getting hurt,"
"Hyungki told me all his hardships and he said that I was the reason of all of it. You know what, he has a point. I looked like I was upset to hear it but I was actually hiding a smile underneath."
"He spoke as if he had so many of it. Tsk, if I was just not thinking of what will happen next, I had told him all my pain and it'd make him silent for years!!"
"Like, damn. It's a lot more bigger, I wanted to fucking tell him but I don't want to brag."
I stopped and realized that I was saying too much, that maybe she's not interested to hear any of it anymore. But there are still some words that I wanted to tell her. Whether she's listening or not.
"Lee Haneul, you know that I love you so much right? And you know that I won't look at any other girls except you? You know that I'd be a great husband to you and an amazing father to our precious Jungha? You know that you're my one and only Ms. Right? You know all of it, right?"
I cried once more because I feel like something's going to an end. But I wasn't sure about it.
"If you're confused about why did I suddenly asked you about those, I'm just making everything clear. I love you,"
The nurse came back and had informed me about the time. They still need to check her statistics and will be heading us the results afterwards. For the last moment, I kissed her and whipered, 'You can do it, Mrs. Jeon Haneul! Fighting'. I was actually waiting for her to smile but again, she didn't.
Sighs, she's playing hard-to-get again.
After a few minutes, her mom, together with Hyungki, told me that they'll go home for a while because they can't leave the cafe closed. It was Haneul who told them that they shouldn't close it since it's their first priority. I knew that Mrs. Lee didn't want to leave her daughter but, I think she's doing this because she's giving me another chance.
Another chance to make things right. And I will do my best to keep her trust on me.
They went off as Jaemin and Ae sook came. They were lacking sleep, it was seen on their puffy eyes. I went towards them until I heard light footsteps running towards my direction.
"Appa!" I heard our Jungha, bolting from the hallway.
I knelt down and opened my arms wide as he gave me a warm hug. "Appa, are you okay?" he asked as I nodded my head and smiled.
"Stop lying," Ae sook said as I noticed her eyes. It had a touch of red, as if it's a big evidence that she cried, "Everyone's not feeling okay, what more if it's you?" she said as her voice hardened.
Jaemin coughed and smiled at me, "I apologize for her rudeness, she's really..." she went to look back at Ae sook who seems to be avoiding my looks.
"She was too depressed on what happened," Jaemin answered. She definitely looked like she also cried. And I guess all of us did.
"Appa," Jungha held my index finger with his tiny hand, "I miss you and mom. When are the two of you going home?"
I smiled and kissed his cheeks, "Soon, you just need to wait a little more,"
"Don't worry, I'm waiting! I will never get tired of waiting!" he cheerfully said as I smiled to hide the pain.
"Jungha, you wanna go and look for the cute babies at the nursery section?" Jaemin said as she hurriedly carried Jungha away.
Ae sook gave me a look and started sobbing. I gave her a hug and tried my best not to cry again.
As soon as she calm down, I told her to sit and tell me everything she wanted to open up.
"Haneul was like Jaemin and I's sister. She was like a real family to me. To us. And you've been her strength since then so I had a big trust on you. Until now. And I wasn't blaming you for what happened. We all know that Haneul's a bit clumsy but fuck it, why does she need to be rushed in a hospital and be in a dangerous state?" she said and bursted into tears.
"I'm.. I'm just.. sad and angry at the same time. I wanted to protect her like what I did ever since I met her. I wanted to kill that driver who fucking ruined everything!!!" she said as she threw the scarf she was holding.
"I thought that she'll have what she deserves the mostㅡand that's to live happily with you and Jungha." she put her cold palms on her wet eyes and wiped away the tears.
I let her finish and continued listening.
"I remember the days where she would suddenly smile with the thought of you. She was so in love with you and we would laugh our asses off because of her cuteness," she said as her voice started to sound like crying again.
"Especially when she's jealous with you whenever you're flirting with ither girls. Damn, she'd be thinking of a plan to get you away from that girl," she said as I giggled.
"She did that?" I asked and tried to imagine how cute she was.
"Uh-huh. Typical Haneul," she said and smiled.
The two of us remained silent. I guess she tried to recall everything that happened when she was with her. And that was actually what I did. Recalling every single moment I had spent with her; from the happiest moments we've shared down to the times where we did was to cry from heartbreaks.
After an hour, two nurses went outside the emergency room and ran towards the other hallway. Ae sook and I stood up and was about to ask what happened to the nurse who had just came out from the room. She was holding some papers and was about to go after the first two nurses before we approached her.
"What happened to our Haneul?" Ae sook asked.
"She's dying," she answered as I felt my body becoming weak.
"I'm sorry but I need to call the doctor to save her," the nurse replied.
"Please do, as fast as you can!!" Ae sook said as I sat down the floor.
Lifeless and didn't know what to do.
Ae sook was trying to comfort me and I guess she's trying to give me hopes but I can't really understand what she's saying. All of it turned into mumbles and it made such noise to my ears. I had a hard time breathing, as if there was a big lump trapping the air that I need.
I stroked my chest and tried to breathe. Jaemin and Jungha came back and they were looking at me. No, everyone was looking at me. As if they were expecting too much from me and it made me scared to face all of it.
The doctors rushed inside and went to check Haneul. I slowly stood up and stood outside the room; looking at her through the circular window. I heared the beeping sound that scared the shit out of me. I can't bare to hear any of it again.
I ran out of the hospital and ran into a place where my feet will take me.
I ran
and ran
and ran.
Until I reached a place where you can only see the green grass, the clear-watered sea, and the deep and see-through color of the sky. The cold breeze tried to freeze my warm body and took me into peace. I lost myself, because I suddenly felt that she's going to leave us. And I didn't want to see her leaving. I..
I am scared.
"Haneul-ah!! I know you wanted to be the sky, but not right now!!! Don't leave us right now, you still have so many things to do here with all of us!!!" I shouted as if no one cares to listen.
I was whimpering, I sound like a retarded seagull and let all the pain that I kept out. I punched the trunk of the tree that was beside me and kept on shouting her name. I kept on begging her to stay as my fist bled.
I was bleeding. Emotionally.
It feels like it was the end of me. I can't help but to get angry towards myself.
"Ya! Lee Haneul! Why are you like this?? Why are you doing this to me? Wae? Wae? Wae?!"
"I never cried like this before because I'm a bad boy, I never wanted to cry because I'm tough. But why are you making me like I'd be bursting out gallons of tears? How can you make such a wild lion get scared of losing someone? How can you turn me into the real me?" I stopped from punching the trunk when I noticed that my fist started to feel numb.
I soullessly sat down on the green grass and started whispering her name.
"Haneul, I need you.. I.."
"I can't live without you,"
{Author's POV}
Jaemin and Ae sook were busy contacting every member of bangtan. They had called even Haneul's mom to come over to this serious matter. Everyone rushed towards the hospital as fast as they can.
Namjoon, Taehyung, and Jimin came after a few minutes. Jaemin suggested to take Jungha home for this is something the kid shouldn't be witnessing.
More nurses assisted and it made everyone feel uneasy. Ae sook was the one who went home and looked after Jungha. The little kid was obviously worried about his parents, his mom was in the hospital and his dad ran away. He thinks that he needs to do something but, how can a five-year old boy save everything up?
"Auntie, why do I need to stay at home with you?" he asked that made Ae Sook feel kind of pity towards his nephew.
"Because, you're too precious to see it." she answered but it didn't satisfied the little boy.
"But I wanna see omma, and appa,"
"But.." Ae sook said as the boy gave her a determined look, "What if something bad happens and you saw it? You might get traumatized and it will ruin your life,"
"I know auntie.. but, what if that would be the last time for me to see her? Will you still prohibit me from seeing the two of them?" he said that made her heart shatter into pieces.
Ae sook closed her eyes and breathe heavily. She took Jungha's hand and held it so tight. She hugged the boy as if it was her own son as she started to cry.
"Don't worry, Jungha. They'll be able to get away from these hardships. Just trust me for now, okay? Nothing bad is going to happen. Just stay here with me and tomorrow, mom and dad will come home together." Ae sook said that it somehow convinced Jungha.
Jungkook is still nowhere to be found. The other members were looking for him all around the town but he's missing. Hoseok went to run back to the beach and tried to look for their youngest member. He was hoping that their maknae hasn't done something that would make everyone upset.
Horrible thoughts started to pop out in Hoseok's mind that made him very worried about Jungkook. He was thinking that he might drowned himself, or jumped off a building because of the insanity he was feeling. Hoseok started to run that he didn't noticed he almost left Busan. His legs were shaking and his feet started to ache. He noticed he had some bruises from the fields of grass he had ran onto.
Sweat started to roll all over his body, he felt so tired, his body became fatigued. He wanted to stop running but he can't endure the thought of Jungkook being alone in this situation.
"Where the fuck are you, Jeon Jungkook?" he scratched his head and went back for searching.
Jimin and Taehyung also helped in the search. The two of them ran all over the place but hadn't seen him. Until they reached a place where you can see trees and the sea. They walked in the green grass and started shouting,
"Jeon Jungkook!!" they both shouted their lungs out.
Their eyes scanned the whole area until Jimin noticed someone lying on the right part of the field near the trees. He called out Taehyung as they both went nearer to the boy. It was Jungkook, his eyes were shut and his fist was bleeding.
Jimin and Taehyung checked if he was still breathing and thank god he is. They tried to wake him up but Jungkook only mumbled something they weren't sure of.
"I.." Jungkook whispered as the two of them waited him to finish what he was saying.
"I need to protect her," he said but his eyes were still closed.
"You will, so you gotta get yourself up!" Jimin said as Taehyung nodded.
Jungkook had regained his consciousness after Taehyung gave him a bottle of water. They rode the car that Jimin was driving and on their way back to the hospital.
Meanwhile, the people who were there for Haneul at the hospital were nervous as hell; Seokjin, Yoongi, Namjoon, Jaemin, Hyungki, and Mrs. Lee. The doctors were giving their best to save her but it seems like Haneul herself wanted to give up. She wasn't responding. She was still.
Loud cries were heard all over the hallways and it made all the people near them cry. Patients, nurses, and other hospital staff who heard their mourning made their hearts shatter.
The sky soon became dark, clouds had hidden the sunshine that had gave all of them hopes. Raindrops started to fall down as the windshield wipers of the car wiped off the tiny drops.
"The sky is crying," Taehyung said as Jimin looked at Jungkook through the rear view mirror.
Jungkook was silent. He recalled what Haneul told him a few days ago.
"When you're happy, I'll bring sunshine. When you're sad, I'll cry with youㅡI'll bring the rain. I will always be up there, comforting everyone with the deep and transparent color I have, I will make everyone laugh whenever they try to guess the shape of each cloud that was lying on me, I will always be there, I will never leave."
"She's indeed the sky, she knows what we feel right now," Jungkook whispered as he shut his eyes and think of her.
"Does that means, she's awake now?" Taehyung asked as Jimin looked at him.
"I mean.. she knows what we feel right now. So, does that mean she's awake?" he said as Jimin looked back on the road.
"Maybe." he said and bit his lips. His eyes started to sweat, "Or maybe she's up there and she's now watching us,"
Taehyung slowly turned to look at Jungkook, who was looking up at the sky through the window. Cold air started to embrace the city of Busan as the rain made the roads wet. They walked inside the hospital, expecting nothing. They knew that they were too late to protect her.
Jungkook walked the slowest. Taehyung and Jimin told him that everything will be fine after this event, that he would forget everything and live his life with them and Jungha.
It made Jungkook feel more pain. He was thinking how can he forget everything about her when she was the only one who gave such highlights in his life? Would it be easy for him to erase everything? How about the happy memories they had shared together? The hardships they have went to? How is he going to live his life now?
He walked a little bit closer to the emergency room as he saw everyone crying. He tried to walk a bit more closer but his feet gave up, he stopped and quietly sobbed. He had fallen to the ground as he curled himself and cried. He rest his head onto his arms that was soaked by his tears in just few minutes.
Jaemin, together with the other members, were crying. Hyungki went out to call Hoseok while Mrs. Lee remained silent and was still trying to be strong for everyone.
Jungkook decided to ran away again. He went to the chapel and knelt down. He prayed eagerly, asking for Haneul to be safe.
"Save her. Please, I'm begging you. Save our Haneul. Don't let anything bad happen to her," his face were covered with tears as his voice started to crack up.
He looked so pityful. He was so in love with her that he wanted to do everything that will make her come back. He spent hours praying even though he thinks that everything has ended. He thought that his prayers wouldn't be granted. He thought that she was already gone, that he was too late. But he didn't stop from asking.
He didn't stop from asking her back in his arms.
Her sweet smile.
Her caring voice.
Her whole presence.
He wanted everything back. But it looks like he would only see any of those only in his memories starting today.
It's been two hours and he had stopped from praying. Instead, he tried to face the reality. He sat up and wiped off the tears.
"I can do this. You taught me how to be strong, and I will try my best to be the strongest dad to Jungha, strongest member to Bangtan, strongest brother-in-law to your best friends that are almost your sisters, and strongest son-in-law to your mom. I can do this right?" he said but it broke his heart to know that the one making him strong wasn't here anymore.
"Yes you're my only boy, neoneun naege choego,"
A sweet familiar voice was heard as Jungkook turned back to look if he had heard the right person he was thinking.
"Neoui harureul algo sipeo, neoui hansumi doego sipeo," the voice continued to sing as Jungkook's eyes started to cry.
A girl sitting in a wheel chair with a hazelnut colored-hair, sung the song he was saving for his proposal that he thought wouldn't be happening anymore.
"Why aren't you continuing the song? You told me you're my Mr. Right, right?"
Jungkook didn't know what to do, he was thinking if this was just a dream or his prayers were answered. But he didn't care anymore. He saw her face already and it made him strong again. He rushed towards her and gave her the tightest hug she would ever receive!
"I.. I thought you were gone.." he cried on her shoulders as Haneul giggled.
"Haven't I told you that I will never leave? Because I still need to my surname to get changed into yours?" she smiled.
"You don't know how much I'm fucking happy right now!!!" he said and hughed her even tighter.
"Jungkook-ah, I might really end up dying if you'd still continue to hug me this tight!!" Jungkook quickly removed his arms and looked at his precious gem.
The other members and Jaemin came as they all gave Jungkook a hug.
"You thought you were late huh?" Namjoon said and gave the maknae a pat on the back.
"Aish, cut it off," he said as he gave a bitter smile.
Everyone laughed at Jungkook's cuteness and promised each other one thing;
"From now on, we will stay together, forever. No one's going to leave!"
They held each other's hands and agreed, "Promise!"
The rain had already stopped and the sun was back in the sky. It shone very bright, like Haneul's smile. Like everyone's smile.
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ADVANCE HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!
And yes, this is the last chapter. BUT I WILL BE UPDATING THE EPILOGUE TOMORROW. And also my letter to everyone afsjdkls i love u guys i would put everything i waned to say for everyone on my letter.
Wishing you a happy new year!! Lovelots!
xoxo,
Starish10♡