Almost a week had passed and I was still thinking about our almost kiss. The moment he left the apartment that day, I remained on my balcony for at least another hour. I just couldn't wrap my head around the fact that we almost kissed. I didn't even know Ross liked me.
I didn't even know I liked him!
I mean, did I? I thought he was attractive when we met, and I always found myself having a good time when we hung out, but did I have feelings for him? Feelings that weren't platonic?
"I'm giving myself a headache." I muttered, shaking my head to clear my thoughts. I refocused my attention on the pot filled with boiling water on the stove, reaching over for the box of elbow macaroni. Macaroni and cheese was Jess' favorite, and instead of just using a box of Kraft, I always made my own. I made sure the macaroni was soft enough before draining out the water, adding the other ingredients needed before finally putting some in a bowl. "Jess, come eat your lunch!" I called, placing the bowl on the table.
I could hear her little feet padding across the hall as she ran, and I smiled as she came into view, her wavy hair bouncing in sync. "Thank you, mommy." She grinned, flashing me a toothy grin.
I sat down next to her, leaning forward to kiss her cheek. "You're welcome, baby." As I dug into my own bowl of mac and cheese, the front door opened. There was only one person that had the key to my apartment. "Hey, Morgan."
"Hey," She greeted, coming into view. "Ooh, mac and cheese. There better be some for me." I nodded, motioning to the stove. "How ya doing, munchkin?" She ruffled Jess' hair, bypassing to the stove to make herself a bowl. Due to the food in her mouth, all my daughter could do was nod.
Once Morgan sat down next to me, I lowered my voice and leaned in closer. "I need to talk to you."
"What's up?"
"Don't freak out. Promise me you won't freak out." If she did, then Jess would start asking questions. I really didn't want that right now.
She nodded slowly. "Should I be worried?"
"No, it's nothing bad." I think. "Ross and I almost kissed."
Her eyes widened, the grip she had on her spoon tightened, and her jaw dropped. I knew it took all her strength to not scream-her face was turning red-and I was extremely grateful. "Really?" She finally whispered. I nodded, proceeding to tell her everything that occurred on that day. I found myself smiling as I retold certain points, in which she pointed out that I was blushing.
I hated to admit that I was.
Morgan started firing questions at me the second Jess ran off to play in her room. I tried answering each one the best I could, but I stammered over the answer to her final question. "Do you like him?"
"I-I don't know." I fiddled with my fingers nervously, gnawing on my bottom lip. "I haven't liked anyone romantically since..." I trailed off, not needing to finished my sentence.
"From what you've told me, Blake, I don't think Ross would runaway because of Jess." She tried to comfort. "He works with kids everyday."
"That's not the same." I muttered. "I just don't want to get involved with someone who will just leave me because I have a daughter."
"Anyone who does that isn't the one for you." She grabbed my hand and gave it a squeeze. "You deserve to be happy with someone who will treat you right. I'm sorry, but Kyle wasn't the one for you. If he loved you enough, then he wouldn't have ditched you and Jess."
I couldn't help but cringe slightly, the name of my former love echoing around in my head. Though I no longer had any feelings towards him, the pain he caused me remained. I remember crying the day I found the note, explaining why he had to leave. Why he couldn't stay with me and my baby girl.
I remember tearing up the piece of paper into dozens of scraps.
"How do you feel when you're with Ross?" She asked, and I was grateful for the slight topic change.
Cue the butterflies in my stomach. "Like a freakin' teenage girl who can't stop giggling."
She smiled. "Blake, you like him. A lot. And I don't think you'd almost kiss him if you didn't."
"I don't know why that terrifies me." I admitted.
"Maybe because you can see yourself having a future with Ross?"
"Morgan, we've only known each other for a few weeks."
She shrugged, as if it were no big deal. "I don't see your point. Look, just talk to him about the almost kiss; see if he likes you like you like him. Geez, that was a lot of likes."
I couldn't help but chuckle, shoving her shoulder. Talking to Ross was going to be nerve wracking, but it had to be done if I wanted clarification on our "relationship." And the fact that we haven't talked since that night only added to my nerves, so I prayed that I would be able to keep my cool.
~*~
My cool flew out the window when he called, asking to meet up. I somehow managed to make my mouth move and agreed, but I'd be lying if I said my hands weren't shaking. I honestly wasn't entirely sure why I was so nervous. Yes, we almost kissed, but we were still friends and that didn't change.
Did it?
"Baby, are you ready?" I walked into my daughter's room, leaning against the doorframe. "We got to go." Because Morgan was working today and Jess didn't have school, she had to come with me. This would be the first time she was seeing Ross outside of the hospital, and I wasn't sure how she was going to react. If something did happen between me and Ross, then she would have to get used to seeing him a lot more.
"Where are we going, mommy." She asked, grabbing her doll as she walked towards me. I hoisted her up on my hip, kissing her cheek before exiting her room. "We going to Aunty Morgan's?"
"Not today, princess." I told her, making my way towards the front door. I made sure I had everything with me before making my way out of the apartment, locking the door behind me. "Do you remember the doctor that put the pretty cast on your wrist?"
"Dr. Ross?" She questioned.
I chuckled, nodding. "Yes, Dr. Ross. You and I are going to spend some time with him. And I know he really wants to see you again." Okay, that was a lie. I really had no idea if he wanted to, but I think he did.
"You and him fwiends?"
"Yeah, we're friends." And hopefully more after today. Opening the car door, I placed her down in her car seat and strapped her in, kissing her forehead before running over to my side. I exhaled a long breath before starting the car and pulling out of the parking lot, heading towards the local diner.
I had told Ross that Jess was going to be with us during our talk, but he didn't seem to mind. He sounded almost happy about it, which put me a little at ease. There was just a small part of me that wished we weren't going to have this discussion in front of my daughter, though she probably wouldn't understand what we were talking about.
My heart rate increased as I parked between the two white lines, the diner right in my view. I let Jess walk by my side, my hand holding hers as we walked inside. I spotted Ross at a booth in the corner, his eyes roaming the menu. His hair was slightly messy, his bangs tousled over his eyes. He wore a plain grey t-shirt, a couple of chains hanging around his neck.
If I didn't know he was a doctor, I would say he was a teenager. But he still looked freakin' yummy.
That's it, I'm losing it.
"Hey," I greeted quietly, approaching the table. He looked up from the menu and smiled.
"Hey, Blake." He looked down at Jess, who wasn't hiding away, but wasn't saying anything either. "Hi, Jessica. Do you remember me?"
She nodded. "Dr. Ross."
He laughed. "That's right." He motioned for us to sit, and I realized that there was already a booster seat for Blake. "I figured she needed it." He explained.
"Thanks." I replied, lifting Jess up on the booster seat. "What do you want to eat, honey?"
"Nuggets."
"Chicken nuggets?" She nodded. "You want Apple juice or Orange juice?"
"Apple, pwease."
I quickly examined the menu, choosing a Cesar salad and a raspberry lemonade to drink. Once our orders were taken and we were left alone, Jess being pretty preoccupied by her doll, I knew it was time. I could see Ross fidgeting in his seat slightly, hit bottom lip wedged between his teeth. From what it looked like, he was just as nervous as I was.
I cleared my throat. "So, uh, you wanted to talk."
He nodded, ruffling his hair a bit. "I wanted to apologize for the almost k-kiss. I never intended...I never meant for that-it was a mistake. It was a mistake and I'm sorry."
My entire body deflated, and it took all I had to choke back the small gasp that wanted to escape. All I could manage was a soft, "Oh."
I knew it. I was stupid to think that he actually liked me. Of course the almost kiss was a mistake. I found myself staring at the table, unable to look Ross in the eyes. But just sitting here was suffocating, and I couldn't stay any longer. Quickly apologizing and leaving some money on the table for the undelivered food, I took Jess in my arms and hurried out of the diner. I needed to get out of there and I needed to get out of there now. I was humiliated and so embarrassed to the point I could cry.
I managed to get Jess in the car and strapped in her seat before I heard him. "Blake, wait!" I ignored his plea, running over to the driver's side and quickly hopping in. Before I could even shut the door, his large hand gripped the side, preventing me from creating the barrier between us. "We need to talk, Blake. Please."
"You've already said enough." I muttered. "It was a mistake. I get it. Can I go?"
"No, because I'm not done talking. Can you please just get out of the car and we can talk?" When I didn't answer and my eyes remained locked on his, he sighed. "Please. Just give me five minutes. And if you still want to go, then you can go. But just give me five minutes."
I looked back at Jess, to find her asleep, her doll tucked underneath her arm. I was going to regret this so much. "Five minutes." I murmured, getting out of the car and closing the door behind me. My back touched the cold metal, and I crossed my arms over my chest and waited. I wasn't going to say a single word, and I think he knew that.
"When I said that the almost kiss was a mistake, I didn't mean that." He began. I swallowed down the scoff that threatened to come up. "You have no idea how much I wanted to kiss you. I've pretty much wanted to kiss you since we first hung out. But I'm not the type of guy to kiss a girl and rush into something that can turn out terrible." He ran a hand through his hair, frustrated. "I like you, Blake. But I'm not good with the whole romance thing, and every girl I've ever dated broke up with me because of my job. Time is rarely ever on my side, and they hated that I would break a date or cut it short because of a patient. But with you...with you it's different. You understand that I have to leave at random times, and you don't get upset when I do. So when I said that the almost kiss was a mistake, I was talking through my ass. I was just scared and a wimp and freakin' terrified."
By the end of his ramble, his chest was heaving rapidly, his breathing hard. I was frozen, completely speechless. His admission rendered speechless, and it was as if my mouth was glued shut. I just couldn't believe he liked me. This amazing man actually liked me, a woman with a simple job, a daughter, and a boring life.
"I like you, too, Ross." I admitted finally, my voice soft and gentle. His head snapped up from the ground, and a smile broke out onto his face. "And I'm not good with the romance thing either, trust me. Rushing into things is always a mistake, and it never ends well."
Experience taught me that much.
"I agree." He murmured, stepping closer. "So if we both agree that rushing into something isn't going to work, then how about we take things slow."
"Slow?"
"Slow." He confirmed with a nod. "I'll take you out on a date, try to amaze you, and maybe, if you're lucky, kiss you goodnight." A teasing smile was present on his face, and I couldn't help but match it. "What do you say?"
I answered without a second thought in my mind. "Absolutely."
Chapter done! So they finally admitted their feelings for each other, and their finally going on a date! But will this date end well, or turn out into a disaster? Leave your guesses in the comments! And don't forget to vote!