Chapter 6: Never say Goodbye
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Today was the day. Then end of my life. Well, not really, but it damn well felt like it.
Drew was going to to Chicago from a month. One entire month away from my boyfriend. From my other half. I sighed. Woman up , Angeline! Get yourself together! Straightening my back, and lifiting my chin, I exhaled slowly and walked down the stairs and out the door to Drew's house. His stuff was already all packed and ready to go. His plane left in 2 hours. Technically, he was late, but it didn't matter, we were trying to prolong his leaving.
As soon as my feet touched the creaky stairs of the porch, Drew turned around to face me and a ran to him, full on. He brought me into his arms and hugged me tight. "Don't worry my little Angel. I'll be calling everyday and sending you so many text messages to you that you'll be sick of me by the second week that I'm gone." He told me, looking down into my watery eyes. I couldn't help it. I've never spent so much time away from him in the 1 and a 1/2 years that I'd been dating him. He smiled sadly.
"Angeline, don't cry. This isn't goodbye okay? I'll never be able to say goodbye to you. Ever" He kissed my forehead and I melted into him, trying to stay as close as I could.
"Why do you have to go, Drew? Why can't you just stay here like last year?" I asked, burying my face into his chest.
"I have to help my uncle. He's not well right now Angel. My whole family is going, not just me." He told me, resting his check on the top of my head.
"I understand" I said, even though I didn't. I mean, I knew I was being selfish, but if his whole family was there, why did he need to go?
I looked up at him and kissed his cheek. "I'll miss you, Drew. Goodb-"
Drew clamped a hand over my mouth smiling. "I told you. Never say goodbye." I grinned and pushed his hand away giving him one last kiss before he left. Soon he was gone.
That night, He had already called 3 times and texted me 20 messages. He had been right. It was annoying, but I still smiled every time his name came up on caller ID and I still missed him.
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It fallters, I can feel it. I try again and open the door wide, so that they can walk into the house. They all smile at me and walk in, say nice things about our home, about me, my family. I just nod and try to smile. Finaly my parents come and take over the situation and I let out a breath of relief and drop the attempt of a smile. But Matthew sees it. He sees it drop straight off my face as soon as his parents started to talk to mine. I try to recouver it and fail. So I just stop.
"You don't need to pretend around me, Angel." He says quietly, just above a whisper.
"Actually, I do. And I always am, around everyone." I say just as quietly as I turned and head into the kitchen.
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At diner, everything is silent. Well, between me and Matthew it is. He hasn't tried to talk to me since we were in the hallway. I hadn't tried to say anything to him either though.
Matthew sat across from, staring at me but, staring past me too. He had a confussed look about him. I just dropped my gaze down to the chicken and rice in front of me. I pushed the rice around, trying to make it look like I had eaten some of it. Truthfully, sitting here was making me feel sick to my stomach and giving me a killer headache from trying to figure out what Matthew was thinking about.
"Mom," I said abrutly, standing up." May I be excused from the table?"
My mothers face turned to me and looked to my plate then back up to me. "I'd like it if you ate some more and stayed here instea-"
"Mom, I'm really not feeling well, could I just go to my room. I'll warm my food up later if I get hungery, I promise."
Hesitently, she nodded her head and turned back to Matthew's parents, Isa and William.
I ran my way up to my room as soon as I was out of sight from the table.
Laying down on my bed, I started to read my ceiling. A bit before Drew died, I re-did my room. As soon as it was done, Drew came over and we wrote all over the ceiling. Well, more like he wrote all over, I watched him from my bed. I found that whenever I was fall asleep I would have a piece of him with me to up at. Now, looking up at it, I felt worse, my stomach turning, my eyes burning with tears ready to escape. But, I was felt joy, remembering him, as I read more and more of the things he wrote. Everything from inside jokes to poems and quotes to personal thoughts from him were written in his somewhat messy, boy-ish hand-writting. The only thing I had written up there was a huge heart in the center, saying my full name plus his = love forever. He had one too, but seeing as his mom didn't want him to write all over their house, it was really small and in one of the corners of the ceiling so she wouldn't see it. I wonder if it's still there. No. Why would it be? They left two years ago and now someone else lived there. It was gone, and so was he.
One tear fell over my face and ran down my cheek, no others followed, which I was greatful for as someone knocked on my door.
"Who is it?"
"It's me Angel. Open up." Matthews voice travelled thru the heavy door. I forgot I had locked it upon entering my room.
"Why are you here?" I asked, getting up and walking slowly towards the door. I twsited the lock and opened the door cautiously.
"Your mom wanted mme to come and try to talk you down and to give you this. She also told me to make you eat." He said, leaning against the doorframe with my warmed up diner in his right hand. I didn't move.
He sighed in frustration. "Look, can I come in. You don't have to eat it if you don't want to, but atleast get me away from the chatter downstairs. I can't take it."
I opened the door all the way slowly and steped out of the way so that he could come in.
"Woah." He said, putting the plate down on my vanity, carful not the put it on top of something important.
"What?" I said following his gaze around the room.
"Your room is, uhm, really nice is all." He said, running a hand thru his hair.
"Uh, thanks, I guess."
He grined. "No problemo there Missus." He said and launched himself onto my King-sized bed. There was a crunching soundright after his belly-flop landing. I groaned.
"What did you crush?" I asked, piching the bridge of my nose. He moved slowly, trying not to damage whatever it was more.
"I take it this is yours." He said, lifting up a book. The page were crumpled and the cover squished a bit but other then that it was fine. I laughed a little. His expression was priceless. "Thanks." I said, taking it.
"Please telling me that wasn't fake...?" He said hesitenly.
Smiling, I shook my head 'No'. He grinned. "Sweet..." I rolled my eyes and sat on my bed, in front of him.
"So uhm, who wrote all over you're ceiling like that? I mean, it's nice and all, but like, why?"
I froze.
"My ex did."
"Ahhh. So then why still have it up there. You know, if he's your Ex and all?" He inquired.
"He died," I said slowly. "This is one of the only things I have left of him." I said, tears brimming my eyes again. I tried to wipe them away before they fell, but it failed miserably. Matthew moved to sit next to me. He wraped one arm around me.
'Shh, Angel..... Don't cry... I'm here." I shook a little. "Here, how about you tell me about him. Not the bad that happened. Just him before whatever happened. Okay?"
I nodded, quiet for a moment, I tried to think of where to start, what to say. Then I found it.
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I know I've been gone for a long time but, to make it up to you guys, I'm gonna upload whenever I can. Which means a lot today. I guess your wondering why I was gone. It was because I was really sick for a little while. But I'm better now. So I'm gonna start uploading more, I swear on it this time.
But yeah. So, was it good? Did you like it? Was it long enough for now?
Love you guys ♥