Brook's P.O.V
"Come on you have to go!" Zoe said trying to pull out of bed. "I don't want to! I'm tired!" i whined knowing i wasn't going to win this battle. She gave me one good tug and pulled me off my bed and onto the cold wood floor of my flat.
We were fighting about me going to dinner with a bunch of our friends. There would be Alfie, Marcus, Caspar, Jim, Tayna, Jack, Finn, and most importantly Joe. We havn't talked since the kiss, that was three weeks ago. There wasn't much to talk about we just carried away.
"Come on! You don't even work anymore! You just lay in bed all day!" she was right. I quit my job to scared to back and face chuck. It was stupid but i just couldn't see that face again. "I guess Zoe" i said standing up and looking at her. She clapped "Get dressed!" she said running out of the room.
I got took a shower, got dressed, and put my hair in a bun. I put on some random cloths and walked out "That's it?" Zoe asked. I looked down to see i was wearing blue jeans and a white shirt "It's just dinner". She nodded then looked at me legs "Are your legs getting smaller?" and i nodded proudly.
"Yea my deit's been working well!" i cheered and touched my legs. "What have you been eating?" she asked "You know salad, fruit, oatmeal!". She nodded then looked at her phone "Come on we gotta hurry!" and we walked to the car.
We got in and she started the engine. She was driving and it was dark so she focused on the road and i was on my phone so it was silent. "You never told me what happened between you and Chuck" i let out a heavy sigh "We just had a difference in opinions". She nodded still looking at the road "Sorry about that".
We pulled up to the place and got out and walked in. We were greeted with smiles as everyone stood ready for a hug. I walked and hugged people then i came around and Joe and i just looked at each other for a while. "Hi" we both said in unison, we both laughed. Then he grabbed me and pulled me into a tight hug like i was going fade away.
We pulled back and i turned around to hug the next person. It was Caspar "Hey Brook!" he said squeezing me lightly. "Hey Casp!" i sang "I saved you a seat" he said pointing to the seat between him a Joe. I nodded and hesitantly sat down.
Everyone was caught up in their own conversation so i just sat there and i listened to Caspar. He was trying to impress me but i was barely listing. "Excuse me!" the waitress said getting everyone's attention "What can i get you? she asked to the table.
It went around person to person ordering food that sounding amazing. Then it came to me "I'll have a salad no dressing". The whole table looked at me like i killed a small child and the waitress left. "She's on a diet" Zoe said and everyone looked at me funny.
"Brook you're thin enough!" Marcus said and i nodded trying not to bark back. "You're about as thin as me!" Alfie said and i literally had to bite my tough. Soon the topic of conversation at the table was my weight. I knew they meant no harm by it but i wanted to say something. The pressure was building inside of my and i was ready to burst at any second.
Joe's P.O.V
I took a sip of water and looked at brook. She was biting her lip and she was shaking. She was also holding onto her arms, hugging herself. "You ok?" i whispered to her and she looked at me. Her eyes were shiny and she was on the brink of tears.
"Do you want to talk?" she shrugged and i took that as a yes. I stood up and grabbed one of hands and walked us out in the cold dark London streets. As soon as we got out there she started crying quietly, almost like a small child.
She ran into me and wrapped her arms around me tightly. I rubbed her back comforting her "What's wrong?" i asked. She pulled away and wiped the tears from her face "There all just in there talking about me like I'm not even there!" she said sniffing. "They don't mean anything by it!" i said shoving my hands in my pocket.
"But i cant win! One moment i'm a fat ass and everybody knows it! Then the next I'm too skinny! What do they want me to do!" She cried out hugging herself again.I reached out and pulled her back int my arms. "I hate myself so much Joe" she whispered and it hurt me just hearing her say that.
"You're perfect to me" i said and she pulled back this time taking a few steps but still creating a huge distance between us. "Thank you Joe. But you know we can't." and i shrugged "But why not?". She looked off the the side "Joe I am a fuck up! I always have been, always will be. All i do is bring other down with me. Why do you think i don't tell Zoe stuff!". I shook my head "You are not a fuck up. And I'm not like Zoe or the others, you know that" i said taking a step closer.
"You are too good for me Joe! I don't want to hurt you." she said finally looking at me. "Brook I-" she walked right past me and back into the restaurant. I stood outside for a while trying to piece back together what i had left of myself.
I walked back in and all conversation stopped and all eyes were on me. I nodded and sat back in my seat. Brook didn't even look at me she was to busy talking to Caspar. When i heard her laugh it was like a knife in back. How could she be ok after what just happened.
I took a deep breath when i saw the food coming. The waitress and a waiter who sat the food in front of each of us with a smile. I took a bite of chicken and then i looked over at Brook as she dowered the salad, like she hadn't eaten in days. She looked up at everyone and smiled "I haven't eaten all day!" and we all nodded.
I also noticed Caspar's arm around her back and and a hand rested on her hip. I looked at him and he wiggled his eyebrows, asshole. Then Brook grabbed his hand and pushed it off her hip and kept eating. I wanted to laugh so bad, but i didn't.
We all finished dinner and hugged saying goodbye. Soon there were only four of us Alfie, Zoe, Brook, and me. "You guys wanna come over and sleep, it'll be fun!" Zoe said to Brook and Alfie. Alfie nodded and Brook looked at me "I don't think so Zoe i-" Zoe cut her off "You have nothing better to do!". Brook smiled and nodded "Sure" she simply said.
We all walked to the car "Mate i'll ride with you!" Alfie called and i nodded. We got in my car and he looked at me "So you and Brook?". I shook my head "it's nothing, trust me" i said starting the car. Alfie nodded "I see how you look at her" he said and i rolled my eyes.
"And how do i look at her?" i said annoyed. "With love" i froze in place "Well that's unfortunate" i stated and pulled out of the parking lot. "She'll come around Joe" he said and i nodded "Thanks man" "Anytime".
The rest of the car ride was full of fifa trash talk and laughs. We pulled up to the house to see the girls were already there. We walked up the graveled driveway and into the living room. "Hello girls!" Alfie said and they laughed then i appeared and all laughter stopped."Were going to play fifa" i said pulling Alfie around to the stairs.
Brook's P.O.V
They walked out and i followed Joe's body till it disappeared up the stair case. "Which one?" Zoe said and moved my focus back to her."What?" she rolled her eyes "Which movie?" i pointed at the one in her left hand unsure of what it was.
She put the disk in and it was the titanic. I like it so it was a win for me, that was until Zoe fell asleep half way though and i had to watch it by myself. I stayed up and watched it till the end then laid on the sofa to sleep, but the sleep never came. Then of course me being me i had to wee.
The closest bathroom was the up stairs bathroom so i quietly moved trying not to make noise. I made it in and shut the door and peed. When i walked out to see the light was peering out of Joe's room. "Was he still awake?" i asked myself. I tried to go back down but the curious kid in me walked towards it.
I looked in though the crack at Alfie on the floor sleeping and Joe on the bed looking at the ceiling. He didn't move at all because he was in too deep of thought. I accidentally pushed the door open a little and his eyes fell on me.
He sat up on the edge of his bed "Come in" was all he said. I opened the door all the way then closed it bug left a little sliver open. I walked over and sat on the bed with him and we both looked down at Alfie in silence. "He's out cold" Joe said and we both laughed. then is was silent again.
"Dinner was nice" he said and i nodded "It was nice seeing everyone" i responded. Then it was quiet again, neither of us saying a word. I looked over at him then his eyes slowly came up and connected with mine. "I really do care about you Joe an-" he cut me off "I understand" he said.
But apparently he didn't. He grabbed my chin and pulled me into a kiss. I wanted to pull away but i missed his lips so much, they felt like home. He reached up and pulled my hair out of the bun it was in and ran his fingers though it.
I pulled Joe down so he hovered above me. I wrapped my legs his waist and I reached for he shirt trying to pull it off but he stopped me. Then he broke the kiss and moved my legs, i looked at him confused.
"I told you I'm not like the others. I wont take advantage of you" he said trying to catch his breath. "But i trust you Joe" i said trying kiss him again. "No you don't" i shook my head in confusion "Yes i do". He kissed me one more time and rolled off of me and sat up. "If you trusted me we would be together, because i want that. And i see what you want and i don't want it."
I sat up and fixed my hair "What is it i want?" i said annoyed and looked at me. "You want to be friends with benefits. And i cant do that to you or myself." i nodded and walked over to the door. I looked back "If thats what you think!" i said and he just sat there not saying a word.
I walked out of the room and back down stairs. I laid on the sofa and of course i still couldn't sleep. All i think about was what Joe said, and he was right. I wanted to be friends with him, but i wanted a physical connection with him too. And I know I'm not ready for a relationship, but Joe is.
I do like Joe, and now i seems i like him a bit more than i thought. But i couldn't be in a relationship with him, he deserved way better than someone like me. And i didn't deserve someone as good as him. I grabbed a pillow and smashed it over my face.
What was i going to do?