Your are fat. Your are ugly. Your are worthless.
No one wants you. You are going to die alone. No one would ever want you as a mate.
Who would want a fat and ugly and worthless mate?
No one.
You are so stupid. Where are you even still here? No one wants you.
Just go die, just go die, just go die.
We don't want you in our pack anymore. In fact we never wanted you in our pack, you're only here cause The Alpha pitied you.
But he is stepping down soon, and The new Alpha will kick you out.
No one want you, just go die. You're just a worthless piece of fat, ugly, crap!
Fat. Ugly. Worthless. Go die.
That is all I hear all day everyday, from everyone in my pack, including my own twin brother. I am the packs disappointment. My name is Amelia Spark and I am a werewolf, I belong to the Wolves Heart Pack.
When I was 5, my brother and I belonged to another pack, the Blue Spirit Pack, but there was an accident. An accident that costed the lives of our mother and father. An accident that my brother blames me for every second, of every minute, of my life.
After the accident my brother and I were found by Alpha Stone, full name Adam Stone, the kindest Alpha I have ever met. The one who brought my brother and I into his pack and under his wing, so to speak.
Alpha Stone is the one who trainer us and looked after us, he gave my brother and I another chance at a good life. Alpha Stone protected my from everything, everything but the teenagers of the pack.
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Before I said everyone in the pack hates me, and that is true, but the teenagers are the worst. The leader of them is Saxon Davison, Beta's son, Beta-to-be himself. 6 feet, blond hair, blue eyes, player.
And as his right hand man, my brother Adrian Spark, Third in Command-to-be, now that my sound stupid, Third in Command, but for someone who wasn't born in the pack it is a big deal. Adrian just also happens to be a play boy as well, standing 6 foot 1" with chocolate brown hair and eyes.
Now you maybe wondering were is the Alpha-to-be? Should he be the head bully? Well he is away on an Alpha trainer camp, he has been away for the past 5 years. You see, you can't just become an Alpha you have to be in the blood line and trained for 5 years. Normally it would be train one year, have the next off, train one year, have the next off, you keep going until you complete all 5 years, but he decided that he will just be there for 5 years to get it over with.
Same thing I would chose, not that my opinion matters.
The name of the next Alpha-to-be is Zithanial Stone, and I last time I saw him was when he was 16, getting ready to leave. I was walking home from school with an armful of books and music in my ears, I didn't see him carrying his suitcase out until it was too late. We collided, sending my books and his suitcase contents everywhere.
Most of my book went on to the road, so I went to retrieve them first. I still has my music blasting into my ears, so I didn't hear the car come, nor did I see it as I was look down at my books.
When I did look up, I saw the car, in fact I saw it up really close, and I next thing I felt was my body being crashed into the grass by another body.
I had squeezed my eyes shut, just wanting for the impact of a car that I never felt. I felt an impact but, I opened them to see Zithanial hovering above me looking as shocked as I was. I couldn't help but freeze and stare, this was the closest I had been to anyone in a long time.
That and the fact the Zithanial had the strangest eyes I have ever seen.
They were beautiful and captivating, but very unusual. They were green, but not a soft green like most greened eyed people, but emerald green and very bright. I ended up getting lost in his for what felt like forever, but it was merely a few seconds.
That is when the dream broke. But it is not like anyone like me would get a dream like that. I am nobody.
"Hey Zithanial where are you? Come out, come out wherever you are. You didn't think you could leave without saying goodbye to us did you?" Adrian's voice came from within the wood.
Since we were werewolves the packhouse, Zithanial's house, was naturally near woods, or in this case, in the middle of them.
Zithanial quickly jumped up and gathered the contents of his suitcase and carried it away to where Adrian's voice was coming from.
That was the last I saw of Zithanial.
You may wonder why he did that if everyone else hates me. Well there are two exception to that. Number one of course, Alpha Stone and number two Zithanial Stone.
And don't get me wrong, he didn't stand up for me nor did he torment me. Zithanial just kind of stood there and watched. And that wasn't because he was nice, well he was nice, at least I think he was. Yet again I have to remind myself that I am a nobody. No Zithanial didn't torment me because, well I don't know. Whenever the other kids were insulting me, he was always in the background, not joining in but not doing anything to stop it either. It seemed like he had better things to do than tease a little girl. I was always thankful for that, I was thankful that Alpha Stone raised good son that didn't judge. It would pain me to know that Zithanial bullied me when Alpha Stone spoke so highly of him. It also help that he didn't bully me because I kind of had a crush on him. I didn't want to have a crush on my bully. Yeah, he didn't look like most teenage boys, a little on the chubby side, but I still had a little girly crush on him. It is not like I am going to judge anyone, ever will I judge anyone.
As we grow older and it was nearing the time for him to leave, Zithanial distanced himself from everybody. He would still hang around them, but he didn't talk or laugh as much, and when the boys started to get into girl, Zithanial didn't follow. Of course, boys being boys would make jokes that he is gay.
In fact I remember one time when he said that he 'isn't going to waste time with girls, they're too immature'.
Of course the other boys said they didn't care and that it was fun to muck around.
Yep that stopped me from eavesdropping. Gross.
After Zithanial left the tormenting grow worse and more frequent.
Now I am in my last week of my last year of high school and haven't said a word to anyone in a long time, I have been too afraid to speak.
I am not as fat as I was, but am still chubby. I used to think I as very ugly, but now not so much, I know I am not the best looker, but I am not the ugliest. At least I hope, I kind of gave myself little prep talks in my head, and it kind of worked.
For now.
BANG BANG BANG! Brings me back from my little life replay.
I look up to the one of the school cleaners standing at the doorway.
"It is 5pm time to lock up, I need you to leave please love" she says giving me a smile.
I nod understanding and get up out of the chair and classroom. Walking down the path to the front of the school, I check my watch to check if it really was 5pm.
Looking down I see a glowing 5:00 on the digital watch.
Shiver me timbers, didn't mean to be this late. I jog a bit, trying to get out of the school faster, but I got tired too quickly. Typical.
The school consists of five main buildings. First build you look at is the front is the office, behind the office it the canteen and behind the canteen is the gym. To the left of the canteen is the senior school block, and to the right is the middle school bock. These five buildings are far away from each other, with forest separating them, each has a pathway leading to the other buildings. Where as it is not a typical setting it works well for me, I am able to distance myself from pack members.
After jogging/walking to the office, I walk out of the school slow and looking around, making sure no other students or teachers can see me. Once the coast is clear, I make a bee line for the forest ahead. That is the quickest way to get home, by going straight. I got behind a tree to take off my clothes, trying now to look at my hideous body, and shift into my black wolf.
Not many people have seen my wolf, in fact only four have; mum, dad, Adrian and Alpha Stone. I am fully black wolf and if the sun hits it just right, the fur looks purple, which I think is pretty cool. I grab my back pack in my mouth and start jogging back home, half way there I decide to start running.
I run, pushing myself to go as fast as I can, dodging trees and fallen logs, I get to the pack house sooner than I thought.
The pack house.
It is my home and it just so happens the place were most teenagers hang out. I stand behind a tree to shift and put my clothes back on.
Tip toeing through the back door, I try to get up to my room without anyone knowing. But unluckily for my Saxon just happens to see me.
"Oh look what I cat dragged in, the fat bitch. And what are you doing home this late?" Saxon asks.
I don't reply. I am too scared to, last time I did, I was sent to hospital with two broken ribs, a broken arm, leg and serious concussion. I used to stand up for myself all the time, I was tough, but that incident made me back down and stop talking. I like to believe that if they wouldn't gang up on me to physical hurt me, I am still that tough girl that stands up for myself. I just don't want to go through all that pain again.
"What is that? No reply from the fatty," Saxon continued. "Come on talk, talk, I dare you", with that everyone in the room started tormenting me with names.
"Hey fatty! Speak!"
"Why aren't ya talking ugly?"
"You worthless piece of crap, talk!" That one come from my brother. I look towards my twin, pleading for him to stop, all he does is look away. I can just feel the sibling love.
"All right, all right calm down guys. Don't worry, you would have to see her face for much longer." Saxon announced.
What! Why? They can't do anything to get rid of me, it is against the Alpha's word to do that.
Unless.
"Well I have an awesome announcement for everyone. This afternoon I was informed that Zithanial Stone is coming back." Saxon stated. With that the room erupted in cheers and shouts, Saxon still had more to say but every few could hear him, but I did.
"He will be here tomorrow morning."
Those who did hear started to spread it around, wiping out their mobiles and texting everyone who was a werewolf. In the chaos of celebration I crept up stairs to my room, it was the last one on the left at the end of the hallway.
Shutting the door and lock it I throw myself onto the bed. Why do they even think that he is gonna through me out of the pack? It is not like he cared before, why would he care now?
Or has he changed and became someone who would mock me? I wonder what he looks like now, is he still distant? Thoughts and questions kept coming and coming. Why was I even thinking about him? He isn't even gonna spare a glance at me.
My head was pounding with questions. I decided to take two panadols to ease the feeling.
For the rest of the night a lost myself in homework, completing it all. I look up at the clock, 10:30pm, skipped dinner that's ok, didn't need the extra calories anyway. I am lucky enough to have my own bathroom, it is small, but it was my own. I take the sleeping pills from the cabinet and slip two out. Fulling a glass with water for the tap, I down the water and two pills.
I make sure my door is locked and turn the lights off, I pull the sheets back and jump in.
I drift off to sleep thinking if the last time I saw Zithanial.
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Good? Bad? Please tell me what you think.
BeforeTheDive xoxo