Back to Alexis people !!
Let's get this book moving
again.
Picture above is how Payne looks exiting the water.
Drools an ocean <3
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Alexis P.O.V
We kissed.
It wasn't anything sloppy, simple but a passionate peck. I barely even felt his lip piercing but his lips were divine. Soft and plump.
Only once but it was better than nothing.
And even that once was spectacular.
Nothing could compare. If I died right now I think I'd be pretty content with myself.
I kissed Payne Vincent.
PAYNE VINCENT !!
He was standing right in front of me. When we had broken apart he seemed to not be able to look me in my eyes.
It hurt. Just a little but honestly what did I expect to happen after?
He had said I was his before. Mine was his exact words. Now, as the reality of what just happened hits him he seems to more or less regret it. He didn't say he did but I could see it written all over his face. Body language was one hell of a thing.
Deciding to give him some space before he exploded on me I swayed to the side in the water and chose to not waste this moment.
Apparently today was a day for firsts. First time in a lake and first kiss.
Well my first kiss. He's probably been with numerous girls. Knowing Payne, he'd prefer to have sex then kill them so he wouldn't have to look at them again.
That shouldn't have made me smile because its possible he could still kill me, especially after that.
Lifting my head toward the sky and letting the sun hit my face I let out a deep sigh.
Why couldn't this be the perfect relationship? Why couldn't I have a good mate?
But even if I had a choice, even if the goddess above came down and gave me the choice herself I know what my choice would be.
Despite everything, I'd still chose him. I'd chose to go through all this over and over if I had to as long as in the end, he'd be completely and forever mine.
I felt a hot tear drizzle down my face but letting my entire body sink down under the water, the water washed it away.
If only the water could have washed away the hurt I felt inside.
******
Getting out of the lake in silence I hoped the water would hide my tears.
I was completely falling apart uncontrollably.
He hadn't said a word to me. He hadn't even moved around much in the water after. He swam to the deep end where I obviously couldn't go and he stayed there lost in thought.
I heard his footsteps behind me and I wished for the courage to say something. Anything, but there was a lump in my throat and it seemed to keep getting bigger until it stiffles me.
Bending and picking up my clothes from the floor I began to throw them on over my wet underwear. I didn't feel afraid to be in front of Payne with my scars anymore because even though he thinks the tattoos cover him up, I can see straight through them to the hidden marks below. I saw them all.
"Alexis." I jumped at the sound of my name and turned to face Payne.
He was still shirtless in the blue, knee lenght pants he had gone in the lake with.
His broad, muscular chest revealed and covered in so much tattoos. The most beautiful was the name on his chest. The name of his mother.
"What we did," he paused, "That shouldn't have happened-" and then he began. I could predict what he was about to say. He's going to make it sound as though it'll ruin everything when in reality it might just fix them. Fix him. If he'd just let himself feel, let himself go like he did to make himself kiss me.
"Don't you dare say that!" I yelled at him. Hurt at first then enraged after, I didn't care about his reaction anymore he was not going to tell me this.
"You don't understand what-"
"I am not listening to this bullshit!" I turned away from him and fixed my T-shirt and buttoned up my pants.
My heart was pounding in my chest and despite my hurt and misery for what just happened I wanted to slap the stupidity out of Payne.
"Listen to me!" He yelled pulling me by my arm roughly so I'd face him. "That's not supposed to happen don't you understand? Don't you know who I am! Don't you realize what I've done and what I cannot do? I can't fucking love you Alexis. I can't give you what you want so doing shit like what we just did will only benefit you while it lasts until you realize you want more, until you CAN'T get more from me and then it'll fuck you up!" He was practically screaming in my face and I couldn't help the tears but it wasn't sorrow or hurt I was feeling, it was rage.
"But you won't try!!" I cried out and completely broke into sobs as I spoke. "You won't let yourself feel. You're holding back yourself. Just for a moment, get your head out your ass and realize that you keeping your distance and staying away from me isn't just affecting me, you're hurting yourself."
His face instantly went to its cold unreadable form and I smiled at that. He was doing that to hide what he truly felt. I was right.
With a straight face he said, "I feel nothing for you."
It hit me so hard I almost flinched back but anger over took my hurt because I wasn't going to believe that. He was lying. I knew he was.
Taking a step toward him I slapped him so hard I hurt my hand. His face tilted to the side a bit due to the unexpected blow.
My heart sunk in my chest and I was surprised how brave I was to do that. I could practically hear my own death coming.
His face turned toward me and the rage was there. Where I slapped him on his cheek was red because of the impact and I was surprised that the slap actually affected him.
Then my guilt settled in. I just slapped Payne and after everything he's been through getting hit again is probably a big deal for him.
"I'm so sor-"
Payne grabbed me by my hands and crushed my body against his. His hand cupped my face and tiltled it up towards his and he crushed his lips onto mine.
Our lips began to move on their own accord and I even felt the cool metal of his piercing and suckled on it a bit causing him to groan. His hands were in my hair to my waist then somehow managed to hook behind my knees as he lifted me up on him. Wrapping my legs around him. There wasn't an inch of space between our bodies and as the kiss deepened I was shocked beyond recognition because indeed I was right. He was an amazing kisser. Even if this kiss was rough and he was basically punishing my lips.
"Is this what you want?" he groaned into our kiss as he bit down on my lip and a soft sigh escaped me.
As if taking that as an answer his tongue made its way into my mouth and in his own way explored my mouth causing me to shiver into his touch.
He was so warm even though his body was slightly wet with remaining lake water.
I never wanted him to let me go.
My hands travel on the soft and partially rough skin of his chest and my finger made contact with his nipple ring and he groaned a bit at the touch. Traveling higher up I curled my fingers in his hair.
It was so incredibly soft and I tugged at it a little.
"If this is what you want Alexis, You can have it. It'll be your demise, not mine."
In the blink of an eye I was on my feet, cold air replaced where he once stood and where our lips met.
Then, he was gone.
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I have no words.
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