"On top of this ending tune, I am standing here alone, now tell me--that it's over, let me know..."
~Let Me Know-BTS
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It wasn't until 2AM that Mrs. Park got him to leave, The Doctor had calmly argued his point for that long, and only left when Mrs. Park had basically started sobbing. And as she came up the stairs, since Jimin had somehow fallen asleep, leaving Taehyung sitting on the edge of the bed, the only one awake, he could clearly hear Mrs. Park sniffling.
Do we really mean that much to her? Taehyung fiddled with his fingers. He looked at the door. He couldn't imagine how Mrs. Park could be feeling about this, because he couldn't quite picture the reason for the attachment she had.
Taehyung got off the edge of the bed, careful not to wake Jimin, then went to the bedroom door, slowly opening it and peeking out.
It was dark in the hallway, only light in it was a dim bit of moonlight. He looked down the hallway to see if there was anyone in it. There wasn't. So he walked across to Mrs. Park's bedroom door.
He wasn't sure what lead him there, but he heard her crying still. He'd never heard Mrs. Park cry, he'd never even imagined she would cry. She didn't seem like the type to cry. People cried. Everyone did, but somehow, it seemed like she wouldn't.
Taehyung swallowed, then knocked on the door. "Eo-Eomma?" He asked, listening closely for her response, if there was going to be any response at all. He half expected her to tell him to go away.
Instead the door opened, revealing Mrs. Park standing there in pajamas, her eyes puffy and red from crying. "Taehyung, sweetie, what are you doing up?"
"I...Ah...I..." He didn't know what to say. He hadn't even thought of what to say. What could he say? I don't want to go, I want to stay with you, don't let them take me, I love you, eomma. None of that would make anything any better.
He hugged her. It was the only thing he could think of that wouldn't just make it worse.
"Oh, Taehyung..." Mrs. Park said, ruffling his hair and hugging him back. "What is he thinking? You don't need pills, you never needed pills..."
Taehyung hugged her tighter, tears starting to roll down his cheeks. You know? Please say you know, please say you're not just saying that. I never needed them, I'm not crazy.
Mrs. Park probably felt his body heave with the tears and backed out of the hug, looking concerned when she got a look at him. "Taehyung... Don't let me get to you, if I'm crying, it's not because it's hopeless, I'm going to do everything I can to keep you here, okay? No one's taking you or Kyung-mi from me without a fight to the death." She said the last bit with a forced chuckle, then seeing Taehyung still wiping at tears, she said, "Why are you crying, honey?"
Taehyung sucked in a halting breath, wiping away tears on his sleeve. "I... just... You...know I'm not...crazy?" Was what Taehyung got out, trying hard to at least be understandable.
Mrs. Park nodded. "I know. Only thing you suffer from, Taehyung, is anxiety and post traumatic stress, but you went through trauma, I don't blame you for that. None of that is your fault."
"R-really?" He asked, biting his bottom lip to try to stop the crying.
Mrs. Park smiled. "Of course, Taehyung. But please don't cry, I'll get it sorted, I promise."
Promise...Can you really promise that? If they take me away, then what can you do? What will you do? How will you do that? Taehyung nodded anyway, though his thoughts only came up with the worst of what could happen.
"You should be asleep, sweetie, I think sleep will help, okay?" Mrs. Park said, coming into the hallway and closing her bedroom door behind her.
Then she led him by the hand back to his room. While Taehyung tried to stop the tears from coming down his face. Which was hard, because the more he thought about it, the worse it got, the more it sunk in how much Jae-hwa was right, how very close he was to going back to that place, and how very little there was to actually stop that from happening.
Mrs. Park laughed when she brought him back to his room. "You didn't even change from your date." She said, looking over his clothes. "You'll have to tell me how that went in the morning, ok?"
Taehyung sat on his bed, absently nodding. He could see where Jimin got it from. "Mrs.--Eomma...Why do you...Why did you... Kyung-mi and I, I mean... Why?" The question had been in the back of his head this whole time, he'd asked himself that question often, but never actually thought of actually asking her before. It was probably something she couldn't explain anyway.
"Why did I take you in?" Mrs. Park sat next to Taehyung on the bed, sighing and putting a hand to Taehyung's shoulder when Taehyung nodded. "It started when Mr. Park left me."
Taehyung swallowed. Maybe I shouldn't have said anything. She'll be upset. He looked at Mrs. Park, who was looking off at the wall, not necessarily at anything in particular.
She took another deep breath, exhaling slowly, "I won't lie to you, Taehyung, it's always better to talk these things out, relieves some stress..." She stared off for a moment, probably trying to think of how to phrase it.
Taehyung watched her expression go from blank, to frowning, to a small smile. The memory was probably not too pleasant.
With one more deep breath, she started speaking. "He left me and Jimin because I couldn't give him his ideal family, the perfect family, just so he could impress someone..." Mrs. Park paused, taking yet another deep breath. "After Jimin I couldn't have any more children, he didn't like that, for some reason, that made him so very upset, and there was nothing I could do about it. I suggested adoption, but he'd say the most terrible things about that, about the kids in orphanages. And then one day, when Jimin was only 5, he just decided to go on a business trip and not come back."
Taehyung looked down at his feet. Was that why he never saw Jimin's father? Why he never talked about him? Why all this time, his existence wasn't even mentioned? Taehyung couldn't see Jimin remembering much of him anyway if he left when he was five.
Mrs. Park leaned over and made eye contact with Taehyung. "It's not that bad. At the time, I was starting as a psychiatrist at the mental hospital, so I just poured myself into my work. And in that, I saw a lot of troubled people, the ones with family I could talk to easily, and they tended to be happier, even with a disease, they smiled when they had visitors." She sighed. "And then there was the one's absolutely alone. Most of them only had themselves to talk to, and no one to think about to pass the time, not anything. It hurt to see how very little I could help them, to not be able to talk to them, and I didn't know what to do to make it work better. And then came this rehabilitation program." Mrs. Park smiled. "Jimin saw a lot of people come and go out of here, people he liked, people he didn't like, but me...I got attached to each and every one of them. After a while, it just plain hurt to see them leave. They had no one, and I wanted to be that someone..."
Mrs. Park was quiet for a while. But Taehyung could put together the rest, it didn't take much imagination, she had a hard time saying good-bye.
"That's why, I suppose, because I fell in love with you and Kyung-mi, and I couldn't bring myself to let you go. Maybe in part to fill some empty part of myself." Mrs. Park smiled at Taehyung, then got up off the bed, putting a hand to Taehyung's cheek. "Now, don't be scared, ok? I'm not going to let them take you, try to get some sleep."
Taehyung watched Mrs. Park leave the room, then fell back on the bed, laying and staring at the ceiling.
I want to believe you, I want more then anything to believe you. I hope you're right, because you seem to actually care, because now I see how much it wouldn't just hurt me. I wouldn't just miss everyone--they'd miss me. Jimin, Jungkook, Hana, Mrs. Park, Maybe even Kyung-mi.
What would I do without you? I love all of you. I love how you've changed me. Whoever I used to be... you made me better.
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A/N:
When I see those lyrics to Let Me Know, I hear Taehyung singing it and.. Holyyyyyyyyy Boooyyyyyyyyyyy, what are you doinnnnnggG? To my Heart mostly, but you know-- his voice... his voice I just... O_O
^^ That right there is why I try not to fangirl in A/N's because I stop making sense xDD ^^
Also, if you don't like SHAMELESS promotion, then you can just scroll past the following
So, anyways, I'm writing a Woozi + Hoshi fic called Synesthesia that I basically just started, so if you want, check it out? OR NAH XD up to you~
~Neri~ (GIRL LET ME KNOW about any spelling mistakes because I don't know about those sometimes uhm) *Imagine that in the tone of the song XD*