warning: this chapter needs to be rewritten. I'll work on it and as soon as I repost it, I'll let you know.
22.
●•Kirsten•●
You wanna know what’s annoying? Styles. Styles is annoying. And you want to know what’s even worse than that? The fact that he is not even here! He’s nowhere near, to be honest. And I haven’t talked nor seen him in something like a week, almost. I’m glad I didn’t have to see that flirtatious and girly face in a while, but it’s not like I can get rid of it.
And no, by ‘not being able to get rid of it’ I don’t mean I’ve been thinking of him all on my own; I don’t mean it’s like I can’t take him out of my head. By ‘not being able to get rid of it’ I mean one thing only: Angel.
That young little bastard is in awe. I’m even starting to think Phil Collins lost his idol position to Harry the show off shitty Styles. And he does nothing! He does absolutely nothing! I mean, he took her to a cupcake store, he gave her the LP that was missing in her collection and he played the clown at her birthday party, but so what? That’s not a reason why someone should simply adore another someone. That’s sh–t! That’s pure sh–t and I can’t make her shut that damn mouth up.
“Haz is cute”, “Haz is lovely”, “Haz is so nice”, “isn’t Haz amazing?”, “he has cute curls”, “have you seen his dimples?”, “have I told you he got me a firefly?” Argh! I mean, can you not?
Her voice is still adorable, and I love to see that glow in her eyes while she brightly smiles at me; but it all is ruined when she opens her sweet and cursed little mouth. His name floats out of it naturally and constantly, and why, oh why she just can’t stop when she starts?
I’ve spent a lot of my time with her lately, since Tyler is spending more time working at the gym now that there’s this fight coming soon and he’s gotta help training their best fighters and stuff. As I’m in love with the young girl, I couldn’t get more excited about taking her out and talking to her, but apparently, she’s willing to ruin it all. She’s willing to ruin every single second we’re spending together. If we had fifteen minutes talking about ordinary stuff it was too much; the only other topic I’ve listened to is Harry Styles. And honestly she’s not making me like him better, if that’s her point.
“We could go to the store again one of these days,” she said, and I sighed, rolling my eyes and trying to focus on the music box playing on me, landing on my belly as I stared at the ceiling with my back lying on the floor. “I bet he’d love to see us there again, and I’m sure he’d show us many other amazing singers, don’t you think? Maybe he can even play a song on the piano for us.”
“I’m sure he can,” I whispered, watching the dancing ballerina twirling around at the smooth rhythm of the playing melody. “What I’m not sure is whether I’m taking you back there or not. I can’t go out with you everytime you want, sweetie.”
Angel pouted, but I just tried to ignore her, telling myself it was totally okay to do that, it was okay to crush her hopes once she was annoying me as hell. She was ten, I get it, but honestly, she’s far from being stupid. I guess she can see on my face how damn much his name annoys me. Don’t ask me why, I have no clue, but I don’t like him. I really don’t. Just by hearing his name I have this thing running through my whole body, and it’s not a pleasant feeling. It’s not the “I’m in love” kind of feeling, that gives people butterflies on the stomach (which I’ll never understand) and makes them feel like flying; it’s the kind of feeling that makes me dizzy, that makes me wanna lock myself in the bathroom and throw up all of my organs. That must mean something, and to me that meaning is pretty clear: he should stay away from my life. He should simply disappear and never show up again.
But why did I even think I wasn’t going to see him anymore? Oh God, that was stupid. By the way he stares at me I should’ve known it’s a curse. If devil exists, I bet all my savings that Styles is him. Or at least he has it in his body. That guy is definitely a chase. And again, he is not even here!
“C’mon, Kirs. Please, please, please,” she asked with that angelical voice and those puppy eyes (what’s the thing with doing that? It’s not like it is nice or something. It is annoying, indeed).
“I’m glad to see you heard me well,” I said, rising to my feet and placing the music box on the bed. “Put this in a safer place later.”
Angel nodded, frowning at me. Then she stood up as well, grabbing the present I had given to her and standing on her tiptoes to place it on the high shelf pinned to the wall. She struggled to keep her balance while she did so, and I kept staring from the doorframe to make sure she wouldn’t get hurt. Once that happened, I turned around and walked to the kitchen, just wishing I could get home and be alone right now.
“Hey, where you going?” the small human being walked towards me, grabbing my shirt and looking into my eyes with hers fuelled by despair. Oh, dammit. She was adorable.
“I’m going to go home, and leave you all alone to think about how annoying and inconvenient you are. Hope you have fun,” I smiled to myself while faking a dramatic scene and changing ways so I was now walking towards the door. Not like I had expected, Angel didn’t grab me again; she just stood there, with her arms crossed on her chest and a huge smile on her lips.
“You wouldn’t do that,” she started saying, her smile growing bigger and I knew she was going to try something to blackmail me. “First off, you love me. You care about me too much to leave me alone. And we both know I’m neither inconvenient nor annoying, otherwise you’d given up on me long time ago ‘cause I haven’t changed much since then,” as I kept quiet, she laughed, knowing she was right. I mean, was she really ten years old only? That was not possible. Her brain was probably better than mine. “And second, I wouldn’t be alone anyways. I mean, maybe for a few time, but I’ll have company really, really soon.”
“Yeah, there I guess you’re wrong, little angel. Don’t think your mum will be leaving the hospital early today. Night shift, remember?” I winked, for once feeling superior – which should really happen more often considering the fact that I was ten years older than that little evil person; and yet, it wasn’t like it should be.
“Who said I was talking about her?” She was the one who winked this time, and I laughed at her failed attempt of blinking one eye only, when instead she just shut both awkwardly at the same time. After my burst of laughter was over, I took a deep breath, trying to figure out what she was talking about.
“Who, then?” I finally asked, and before she could answer, the doorbell rang.
She jumped to the door, humming a song I didn’t quite know, and just when she was about to put her hands on the handle, I stopped her, doing that myself. I finally turned around, averting my gaze from her sweet innocent face and opening the door to meet those damn curls again. Oh no, she didn’t-
“Don’t you love when it happens?” her voice came out of the blue, that tone of excitement pissing me off. “Just like the movies, when you’re talking about someone and they just show up,” I had to close my eyes and squeeze them tightly before finally opening them again to make sure what I was seeing was real. “Well, we were talking about you, Haz.”
“Oh, so the lovely ladies were talking about me? I’m flattered,” he said, not bothering to even look at me. As what it seemed to be becoming usual, he held her tightly on his arms and lifted her from the floor while kissing her cheek. Leave her alone! Stop touching her. Argh! I was dying to say that out loud, but I kept quiet, just staring at that scene with my hand still pressing the handle. “Hey, Kirsten.” His expression turned into a serious one when he finally looked at me, and that huge smile and dimples simply disappeared. Had I done something?
He instantly put Angel back on the floor, looking at me deeply as if trying to say something. Too bad I couldn’t get it. I didn’t have that thing that people who communicate through their eyes have. It’s not like I’m a psychic or something, ‘cause let’s admit it, it’s really awkward when someone just looks at the other and knows what’s going on inside each other’s head. No way that could be normal.
Styles cleared his throat and I blinked, just then realizing I hadn’t replied his earlier words.
“Hi,” was the only word that left my mouth while I shut the door close again, sighing. It had to be some kind of evil plan to annoy me. She couldn’t be doing that because she really liked that jackass, right?
“We were talking about going to the store again ‘cause we had so much fun last time,” Angel said, and I choked on air, feeling my cheeks flushing in anger right away. Was she serious?! “Maybe next time you’ll play the piano for us. I’m just so excited!” Her little frame started bouncing up and down and I saw Styles truly smiling, that feeling of pride and sheer happiness showing on his features. Why? Why did he like her so much? He barely knew her; he didn’t see her growing like I did, he didn’t know her. I bet he had no idea of how many surprises that girl can bring; he doesn’t even know a quarter of what she is.
“Whenever you want to go there, I’m sure I’ll find time to show you what I can do on-”
“Okay, so now that your babysit is here, I’m gonna go home for real and get some rest,” my voice stopped him from talking, and his head turned to me again, just like Angel’s. Before she could say something, I walked back to her room and grabbed my jacket, leading outside right after. I certainly wasn’t going to stay there with that guy; if he still hadn’t noticed, I didn’t like him. And I was sick of hearing his name for today; I actually heard it so much that I felt like his voice had been talking to me all day long, nonstop. I couldn’t bear listening to that rough voice anymore, I just…
“Kirs, wait. Don’t leave, please,” she begged, holding my hands gently and squeezing it, the warmth of her skin making me think twice before ignoring her request and just turning around again.
“See you soon, my Angel. Promise,” I whispered, bending down so I could stay at the same height as her to press a soft kiss to her forehead while she sighed. I barely noticed when her head moved slightly, nodding in agreement and disappointment. Sh–t! I hated to see her like that. And I hated to know I was the reason why she was disappointed. I’ve promised to myself that I would never allow myself to let that girl down, I’d never hurt her because she was the most precious thing I had on my whole life.
But that was… That was unbearable. I loved her, she knew that, but Styles had this something that made me feel sick, and seeing him with her… It just feels like I’m losing my place in her heart. I don’t have many people in my life, and being replaced is the thing I fear the most. And maybe, he was going to do that. They knew each other for something like almost a month, and yet, what he had with her was something that took me years to build.
I sighed, knowing that I was going to disappoint her this time, and even if I was going to hate myself later – starting right now – I wasn’t going to turn back. She had him, and she’d forgive me either way. Perceptive the way she was, she had noticed I’m exhausted, and she’ll understand I need some rest.
With that in mind, I stood up again, noticing that I hadn’t stayed more than a few seconds bent in front of her. Finally, I straightened my back and walked out the door, looking for the car keys somewhere in my pocket. Styles just stood in silence, but I could feel it.
I could feel his gaze on me making me uncomfortable the way how only he could.
Dying to leave that house, I started crossing the street, not really caring whether a car was coming in my direction or not. I just really needed to get into my car and close the door, using it as a barrier between me and Styles’ eyes.
Obviously, my plan didn’t work out. And I wish I could say the thing that stopped me from going further was actually a vehicle that passed in front of me at full speed; I wish I could say I had to walk back to not be hit, but of course it wasn’t that. Of course it had to be him.
In the middle of the street, he held my elbow – those huge, rough and yet soft hands of his preventing me from keep walking. I could feel each of his fingers pressing against my cold skin, that contrasting warmth emanating from his own. That thing crossed my whole body again, from head to toe, and I shivered before shrugging off. But he didn’t let me go just yet; he kept staring at me, those green eyes trying to tell me something again. Argh! Let me go!
“Don’t do this, Kirsten,” he whispered, his tone of voice way too serious. “Stay.”
●•Author's Note•●
dedication goes to: @jainsh Glad you're liking this so far babe, and you'll have to be patient to find that out, but eventually you will. Thanks a lot for all the compliments, they really mean the world to me
note: Okay, here we have the little Karry moment I promised you! The following chapters will describe the things that happened that night on the fanfic, which will be really, really long, and loads of things will happen. You better get ready.
next update: Tuesday (July 2nd)
Best comment gets a dedication on next, and just so you know, I read and love them all okay? 130 votes for early update, cmon cmon! Can't wait for you to read more of #Karry.