Ramlah
"Ramlah?"
"Hmm...ya" I responded absent-mindedly as I was sorting out my beauty products at the dresser.
Fahd had just come out of the shower and was getting ready to go out somewhere. It was nearing noon.
"Here I want you to take this."
I turned around inquisitively and saw him extending several €50 bills my way. My eyebrows creased, "What is this?" I asked not accepting the money.
He rubbed the back of his neck, "I never realised you don't have money and you are always going out shopping with Mom. Why didn't you ask me?"
I was dumbfounded. "I...I...I.. don't know" I said lamely.
"Well here take this," thrusting the money in my hand. "Look if you ever want anything all you have to do is ask. And I will do my best to fulfil your needs."
My eyebrows rose, what happened to him?
"Are you sure?" I asked sceptically.
He stepped in front of me, holding my arms in both his hands, his thumbs tenderly caressing my arms, he said, "Of course I am sure. Why would I not be? You are my wife Ramlah, my responsibility." He lightly squeezed my arms.
I looked into his eyes and saw sincerity, "Thank you" I whispered fisting the money in my hand.
He smiled in response and released my arms, "Come on put the money away and I am hungry."
I nodded, "just give me a minute."
****
"I am glad you could come Ramlah. I thought not to disturb this past month as you are newlywed" Sana said stirring sugar and milk in the tea cup.
"I am happy to be here too. It's been long." I grinned taking the tea cup from her.
I felt uncomfortable as her penetrating gaze scrutinized me.
"What's the matter Ramlah? You have lost weight and you don't seem.... Happy."
I averted her gaze and muffled, "I am fine."
She took my hands in hers and clasped them caringly, "You can tell me. Maybe I can help."
I lowered my lashes I wanted to talk to someone. My emotions had been bottled up too long. Before I knew it, tears dribbled down my face. Immediately, Sana embraced me. Now that the tears started, it seemed a floodgate had opened. I sobbed hard, shoulders shaking and lips quivering.
When finally I ceased my weeping, I felt embarrassed. I moved away from Sana's arms, "I am so sorry, I shouldn't have cried like that." I said with a teary smile.
"Nonsense, I am your friend and a sister Ramlah. I had told you before and I will tell you now I am always here for you." She reprimanded fondly. "Now tell me please" she urged me with pleading eyes.
"It's Fahd." I whispered
She nodded silently encouraging me. Then I told her everything. I didn't hold back anything. I wanted a sincere advice. This relationship was slowly killing me. I wanted peace and I had hoped Sana may be able to help me. After quietly listening to everything I had to say she said,
"Look Ramlah you are in a difficult situation. It seems Fahd does understand where he is wrong. The main problem is his drinking issue. In any relationship communication is the key to success. I know you are afraid, but you need to know what he is thinking and he has to know your thoughts. How will you spend the rest of your lives together? In the beginning with Saad, it was very awkward but as we started sharing our thoughts we grew closer."
There was a long silence. I contemplated what she had just said. It made sense but I was ... frightened.
"You have to be strong. When he comes drunk in the night, he shouldn't be touching you. I am sure he hardly remembers the next day what happened the night before. He needs to know it is wrong when he forces upon you. Islam forbids a husband to force upon his wife. The hadith states 'when a man calls his wife for sexual intimacy and she refuses him, thus he spends the night in anger'. This clearly showing that a man will become angry but he cannot force on his wife. Had it been allowed for a man to force on his wife the Prophet Muhammad (SAW) would had said so but instead the hadith points out a man being angry. You should gently tell him no when he is drunk. You should also openly discuss with him about intimacy. I know it may be awkward in the beginning but believe me he will understand and you will see gradual changes in him."
Again there was silence but Sana was not done, she continued,
"You need to tell him what you like and what you don't like. Then will he be able to know you. Talk to him Ramlah and when he knows what your thoughts are he may feel ashamed for all what he did and would even apologize. You will gain his trust and then you can influence him to stop drinking" She advised.
I nodded slowly, "ok I will talk to him" I whispered.
The question that arose in my mind was how will I do that?
****
Since the weekend and Fahd's drunken episode, he had not touched any beer, nor did he go to any pub. Instead during the day he would be out and at night times he would stay at home. That night, Sana's advice was running through my mind as I glanced from the corner of my eyes Fahd was seated on the bed and watching television. I had to come up with some kind of a way to start conversation.
"I went to Sana's place today." I said softly.
He had been watching football but once I uttered the words immediately his gaze flickered my way. It took a few minutes for him to realize I was talking to him. I had never initiated any conversation.
"Really, how is she, Saad, uncle and aunty?" he asked diverting his attention to me.
I hesitated few moments and my fingers started fidgeting, "they are all good."
He nodded and resumed watching the football match.
This was even more difficult than I thought.
"So where did you go today?" I asked, silently hoping it was not a question that will annoy him.
There was a long pause, "I have this business idea. I had gone to meet a friend regarding it." he said hesitantly.
That intrigued me. "Really what is it?"
As he spoke of his business idea with enthusiasm I listened attentively, asking questions whenever I was confused. This was the first time we had an animated conversation and I liked it. I wanted to discuss about his drinking but I just wasn't able to. Perhaps, with time as we talk more I will tell him what I feel about his drinking issue, I thought.
****
Fahd was slowly changing he would talk to me and I would also interact. Our relationship was gradually improving. I was also learning that I had authority over him. There were times he didn't argue and did as I said.
"Where is my brown t-shirt?" he asked as he scanned the shirt section of his closet.
I stepped near him and easily found his t-shirt, "Thanks" he said sheepishly.
It was early evening and he was getting ready, "Where are you going?" I asked cautiously.
"Out with friends." he responded as he took off his t-shirt and started to pull over the brown t-shirt over his head.
"When will you be back?" I asked quietly.
He was brushing his hair gazing at the mirror. Our eyes met at the mirror. He frowned, "Why?"
I bit my lip in nervousness, lowering my lashes I murmured, "I don't want you staying out late."
He had stilled in the act of brushing his hair and was staring at my reflection in the mirror. He gently placed the brush on the dresser and turned to me. I was breathing hard. What would he say now?
My head was bowed down, my shoulders slumped and I was fidgeting with the t-shirt he had discarded. He stepped close to me, placing his thumb and forefinger under my chin and tilted my face upwards. My eyelashes were downcast, "look at me Ramlah" he whispered
My eyelids rose, our gazes met. "Why do you want me to come home early?" his mischievous gleaming eyes held mine.
"Because I don't like it when you are away at night." I murmured returning his gaze.
He smiled affectionately. "I will be back early for you." He said, gently pecking my lips and gingerly patting my arm. My cheeks heated up as a reaction to his affectionate ministrations. Then he was gone.
And he kept his word, he was home by 10pm that night with barely any stink of beer.
****
That weekend a multicultural winter fair was held where there were many stalls, games and much more. Fadil's company was one of the organizers and he had given us all passes to visit the fair. Mom and Dad weren't going as Dad had severe flu and Mom insisted us to go. Fahd and I had agreed.
It was a huge fair with multicultural stalls showcasing the local and international product offerings, food, entertainment and more. Fahd and I had been strolling side by side viewing the different stalls.
"Do you want to eat something?" Fahd asked gesturing to the variety of food stalls at a distance.
I was about to shake my head when I noticed a stall that was preparing fresh waffles and crepes, "Yes please" I said pointing to the waffle stall.
He nodded placing his hand at the small of my back, he urged me forward to the stall.
"What would you like?" he asked scanning the menu.
"Waffle with Nutella and strawberries." I said delightfully. It had been a long time since I had any sweet treats.
He nodded at the stall man, "you heard the lady, please one plate waffle as she has described."
The man bobbed his head and started preparing the order.
When it was ready and served I wasn't able to hold back, immediately I took a bite and savoured the taste by moaning and closing my eyes.
Fahd chuckled at my reaction as he paid the stall man, "that good huh?"
Embarrassed, I immediately refrained my emotions and offered the paper plate of waffles towards him.
He shook his head, "Naah its ok."
"No really try it you will love it," I encouraged him.
"Ok feed me then." He smirked with playful glistening eyes.
I blushed and with trembling fingers cut off a small piece of the waffle and extended the fork to his mouth.
"hmmmm that is good. You were right," He said taking the bite off the fork and winking.
Smiling at his playful attitude, I continued to relish my plate of waffles as we sauntered around other stalls. That is when we met Manal, Nawal, Salman bhai and his cousin Usama bhai.
"It's so good to see you here" Nawal gushed hugging me.
I laughed and hugged her back, "same here Nawal, how you been?"
"She is good. Nothing is going to happen to her don't worry." Manal interceded.
Nawal glared at Manal and I giggled at their teasing.
"Why don't we go around the fashion stalls together?" Nawal asked.
Manal rolled her eyes, "Nawal, Ramlah is married now. She is here with her husband. Why would she want to come with us when she is having a good time with her husband?"
"No ... no I am sure it won't be a problem if I go to the fashion stalls with you two. Let me just ask Fahd."
I turned to the men, Fahd was talking to Salman and Usama. I stepped near Fahd and cleared my throat, he looked at my direction raising an eyebrow questioningly.
"Nawal and Manal want to go to the fashion stalls with me." I said breathlessly.
He nodded, "Sure just don't go anywhere far ok?"
"Ok" I retorted and turned to my friends beamingly.
We went to the fashion stalls and looked around the various kinds of clothes that were in display. Nawal was obsessed with the bizarre type of fashionable clothes while Manal continued to reprimand her choice. The duo's constant banter made me giggle and had cheered me up.
When we made it to the stalls where we had last seen the men, only Salman was there. He wanted to go back home and pointed out to the stall direction where Usama and Fahd had left to. I had bid farewell to Nawal and Manal and made my way to the stalls where Fahd was. I cringed seeing that these were alcohol stalls selling variety of beer, wines and other kinds of spirits from different parts of the world. I peered in the stalls searching for Fahd. There, standing at one of the stalls was my husband taking tequila shots with Usama.
I rubbed my temple, thinking, Ya Allah, how do I get him out of there?
The hadith quoted by Sana in the chapter is the following:
Abu Huraira (Allah be pleased with him) narrates that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) said: "When a man calls his wife for sexual intimacy and she refuses him, thus he spends the night in anger, the angels curse her until morning." (Sahih al-Bukhari & Sahih Muslim, See: Riyad al-Salihin, no. 281)
So it seems Fadil's advice had worked. But for how long? We also see Ramlah finally getting courage to speak her mind and being able to show her authority in the relationship. Next chapter we see a BIG clash between Fahd and Fadil ;) I had been really ill last few days...bad flu got it from my son. He got better alhumdulilah but got his mother sick. So please vote and comment to cheer me up :) thanks, JazakAllah khair
Until next time,
Assalam u alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu