The day had been amazing. I'd been hesitant about what to expect at Warped Tour, but it had been amazing. Everyone was friendly and I really got along well with Jenna from a band called Tonight Alive and Tess, the merch girl for Pierce The Veil. A few hours after All Time Low's set, they had a signing. I tried to assure Alex I'd be fine hanging by myself, but he insisted I accompany him. There were more long looks when Alex would turn around to kiss me or tell me something, but for the most part, I just sat behind the guys under the tent, minding my own business and playing on my phone. When that was over, Alex clasped his hand in mine and led me to one of the stages. His friend, Mod Sun, was playing and we watched the rapper's set. It still wasn't necessarily my type of music, but I enjoyed it and Mod Sun was really nice, though a little overwhelming. We caught a few more of Alex's friends performances before going back to the bus and hanging out with his band and crew. I loved being submersed in his world.
In the time before the barbecue started, Jack made it his job to tell me all of Alex's embarrassing moments. I couldn't help but laugh at my boyfriend's antics while he glowered at Jack' storytelling.
"Did you really wash your phone in the sink?" I laughed.
"I was drunk," Alex defended.
Once it was dark and the crew had finished taking down everything, the barbecue started. Alex and I walked with his band mates. I could already hear the loud conversation and pulsing music coming from the gathering. As soon as we walked into the space, Alex was immediately met by a tall guy and they jumped into conversation. I walked off to grab us drinks and hopefully run into someone I'd met earlier so I wouldn't be clinging to Alex the whole time. It was a bit nerve-wracking knowing almost no one. I wondered if this was how Alex felt back in South Carolina. He had been on my turf, and now I was on his. I liked getting to see this side of them though. Alex wasn't nearly as quiet as I'd known him to be. To everyone here, he was this loud, wild ball of energy. However, with me, he was soft and sweet.
There were several large coolers, all stocked with glass bottles, along with rows of liquor and a stack of red cups. I grabbed a Smirnoff Ice for myself and a Heineken for Alex. I wasn't legally supposed to be drinking, but no one seemed to care.
Finding Alex in the crowd was a bit difficult, but eventually I spotted him. As soon as my eyes landed on my boyfriend, I froze, my gaze turning into a glare. A few yards away, Alex was standing under a tent while some brunette chick ran her hand across his body. I was about to bolt and fume alone with my anger, coming to all sorts of false conclusions. However, I stopped myself before I could even turn around.
Although we hadn't yet talked things out, Alex had made it pretty clear during our fight that I had a tendency to run. Maybe I should just relax and figure out what was going on. Surprised my own rationality, I walked forward. Alex's eyes brightened as soon as he saw me and it ended the reluctance in my stride. The brunette was smirking at my boyfriend and her hand was still on his chest. Ugh, I wanted to get all possessive and practically growl at her, but I kept my calm.
I reached Alex's side and handed him the beer which he quickly uncapped. The girl quickly took a step back, her eyes becoming narrowed slits. I kissed Alex's cheek and smiled at the bitch in front of me.
"Hi, I'm Hayden, Alex's girlfriend. You are?" I questioned, trying to be polite, but I was sure some cattiness showed through.
The brunette ignored me completely. "You didn't tell me you had a girlfriend, Alex? You'd think it would come up within the past few nights."
"I've been pretty drunk the past few nights," Alex replied awkwardly. I looked at him curiously. I'd been hoping last night had been a rare occurrence, but it didn't seem that way.
The girl's flirty attitude was gone and now she just seemed sad. I felt a little bad, but mostly relieved. Thankfully, she strutted away without a goodbye, marching towards a ridiculously tall guy with fluffy blond hair.
"That was Tay," Alex mumbled into the silence between us.
"Was there something...?" I let the question hang.
"No, she's just been flirting with me for a while," Alex stated. "Listen, we should talk. I don't think the barbecue is the best place for us to be tonight."
"I don't want you to miss it," I sighed. "You were looking forward to it."
Alex laughed without humor. "Trust me, I haven't missed any of the barbecues so far, and I think I need a break. You're back. I don't need any of this, I just need you."
"Stop saying cute stuff like that." I blushed.
"I can't help it. You make me feel like saying cute stuff. Now, come on, let's go back to the bus."
"What if I want to stay here?" I asked petulantly.
Without another word, Alex lifted me up and tossed me over his shoulder, caveman style.
"Alex!" I yelled as he walked out from under the tent and through the party.
Beau, who I'd met earlier in the day, laughed when he saw us. "Wow, you guys are already leaving? Someone's getting lucky tonight," he laughed towards Alex.
"No, he's not," I protested.
"That's the good thing about tiny girls. You just toss them over your shoulder and take them wherever you want to go," Austin commented.
"I'm not tiny! I'm like 5'4''."
"I have to look down when I talk to you; you're tiny."
"Or you're just a giant," I replied.
Before Austin could respond, Alex carried me away towards the bus. It was a short walk and then we finally reached the door.
"Can you put me down now?"
"I suppose," Alex mumbled, setting me on my feet. I feigned anger as I marched onto the bus. "Come on, you can't be mad at me for wanting to stare at your cute ass."
I turned around to reply, but Alex immediately caught my lips in his own. The kiss was quick yet chaste, but effectively cut off my train of thought. His breath was warm and bitter from the beer. Alex pulled my bottom lip into his mouth, his hand trailing down to my lower back. Quickly, the kiss heated and Alex and I were stumbling backwards towards the bunks. Sense struck me and I placed a hand on Alex's chest, pulling away from the kiss.
"We're supposed to be talking," I breathed, my lungs searching for air.
"I think we've talked enough," Alex whispered, pressing his lips against my neck.
"We've only been dating a day."
"I feel like we've been dating since the day I first saw you, with your big blue eyes and your long blond hair. I've wanted you for so long."
"And that's why we need to talk," I said, placing my hand on his cheek and guiding his lips away from the sensitive skin of my neck.
Alex groaned, but complied, leading me towards the back lounge. Soon, we were both sitting on the couch, only centimeters apart as we faced one another.
"I don't know where to start," I admitted.
"What did you mean when you told me I needed to grow up?" Alex asked quickly. "I mean, that's stuck with me. I don't know what that meant. Shit, I'm six years older than you."
"I didn't mean it literally," I smiled. "I mainly said it cause I was mad, but I just meant that you don't seem to think through your decisions. That day... God, you made me feel like we were something. Then, I found out we weren't and you were still with Jess. You need to realize there are consequences to your actions. You can hurt people, Alex. You hurt me."
Alex interlaced his fingers with mine, a miserable look on his face. "I didn't mean to hurt you. I never wanted to do that. You have to understand that I'm a fucking idiot. I don't think things through and I walk around most of the time, just fucking oblivious. I think that's just a guy thing. I'm gonna make so many mistakes and not notice when I do. Just slap me when I'm fucking this up and tell me what I'm doing wrong. I don't want to mess this up. This is the one of the few things in my life that I just need. I need you so much."
His voice was desperate and it tugged at my heart. This conversation was making my heart break a little, but I knew I needed this if it was ever going to be put back together.
"What happened while I was gone?" I asked, dreading his answer.
Alex seemed a little hesitant, but responded. "I was so messed up, Hayden. I went back home the morning after our fight and I was like a zombie. Then, when Warped started, there was so much partying and I finally had an outlet. But everything hurt. I hated having to pretend to be for everyone when I was breaking apart inside. I felt like I was going to lose it. I was always seconds away from a panic attack. I'm not kidding when I say I need you. Being away from you after I realized how much you meant to me, I felt like I couldn't breathe. I tried everything to forget you, but I never could. I don't even remember what happened most nights. All I know is I drank until I was stupid. It was the only thing that made me feel better. I'm useless without you."
The sincerity in his weak words made me feel so sorry. I wanted to fall into his arms. I wished we could have been like this from the beginning. There shouldn't have been any of this drama. I should have told him how I felt about the kiss and this would have happened so much sooner.
"I'm sorry," I whispered. "I should have been honest a long time ago. I shouldn't have been so scared and none of this would have happened."
"It doesn't matter. We're here now. Are you still scared?" Alex asked, his thumb rubbing circles against the skin of my hand.
"Yeah, I'm terrified, but I want this."
"I want this too. I know you're young, Hayden, but for me, this is serious. You're at the age where you should be going off to college and getting drunk at frat parties and hooking up with guys. It's selfish of me, but I don't want you to do any of that. I want you here with me. I don't know if you're ready for something so serious, but I am."
"I am. I want to be with you, Alex. This is all so fast, but I know you're the one I want to be with. It's stupid that I feel so much for you so quickly."
"It's not stupid; I feel it too. And it's not quick. This is three months of emotions that we're finally allowing ourselves to feel. It's overwhelming, but it's all I want. You're all I want."
"You're all I want too," I smiled, kissing his lips quickly. "I love you."
"I love you too, Hayden," Alex smiled. After a moment, he added, "Would you like to go on a date with me tomorrow night?"
"I'd love to," I laughed. "This is so backwards."
"Yeah, but it's perfect."
"It is," I nodded, letting Alex pull me closer into his embrace.